thanksgviving 11272013

Thanksgiving special report for 11272013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello my friends I am Bill Diaz the main vato here at cchwnn, now that our creator (Daniel) goes into his 62 thanksgiving we want to give thanks to all our friends that have supported our news and a few thanks to those who don’t. It really does matter in some cases that we provide you with the most important news about the hood. With that in mind, let’s wish the rich or poor, dumb or smart, tall or short, heavy or light weight, single or married, gay or straight, happy or sad, clueless or smart ass, democratic or racist, legal or illegal, walking or running the best of thanksgiving, and remember when there is food there should be food for everyone, god bless you.. Now enough of that tear jerking comments and now for our award winning barrio headline news:

Alcohol and whiskey and wild wild women.

Turkey Barrio Company ships its last load of turkeys.

And finally some good turkey news.

Well this year the barrio community center will have its annual turkey dinner at the center but with a few new ideas, well not really new but at lease it sounds news. Ever persons that comes to eat have to bring the following: folks, spoons, plate, bread, drink, napkins and some darn good matters.

Well after a ruff five years of shipping turkeys nationwide and only a few loads making their distention have decided it was cheaper to close down the company instead of paying high price security escort to guarantee delivering of its fine turkeys. Mr. Moore, the owner said enough is enough, we gone and going to move somewhere else where we don’t have to fight these “keep turkeys alive groups”. My god this folks are worries that the tea party.

 

El partner Juan Anderson Martinez was arrested last night after he was asked to leave the only gay Tejano bar Two tons of fun, when started a fight with a man dress like a woman. The constables report says that El partner was screaming and yelling “Alcohol and whiskey and wild wild women’ and started grabbing everybody until he grabbed Sonny a man 6’ 5” and weights 300 lbs who really didn’t appreciate being touched never the less grabbed, turned around and grabbed El Partner from the neck and threw his little body frame out the freaking door. El Partner who is about 5”2” tall and weighing in at around 130 lbs wet, was stunned and kind of still talking about Alcohol and whiskey and wild wild women, when the constable got to the bar. EL was arrested and will spend the holidays being bars with others who wished about Alcohol and whiskey and wild wild women.

Well raza thanks again and have a happy thanksgiving and watch that waist line, I am Bill Diaz, good day.

westinhouse barrio mall newsletter for 11212013

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletters con Gloria Guerra.

11212013.

 

(Mysterious voice) now here is Gloria Guerra:

 

Thank you again, mi raza Como estan todos? Well its 24 hours from now and we are already geared up for this festival here at the Westinghouse barrio mall. We lots of things to cover today, so let’s get right to it.

 

First of all let’s go to our new and improved CONJUNTO DANCE LAND con our own conjunto correspondent, that guy que like to dance taqucha style MMMmaria Malone.

 

Hello again raza, I am MMM Malone, standing in front of our new and improved conjunto dance land. Starting tomorrow will be the start of our long weekend puro bailes and party. Here is the great line up for this week and weekend.:

 

THURSDAY NIGHT:

 

3:00pm to 5:00pm> EL CONJUNTO DE MARTHA GARZA.

 

6:00pm to 8:00pm>. el LEFT PATCH ZORRIO Y LOS ZOMBIES  DE LA JOYA, TX.

 

9:00pm to 11:00pm> GLORIA big mama BIGGER Y SU BIG MAMA biggers.

 

FRIDAY NIGHT :

 

6:pm to 8:0pm> la movida de Federico hinojosa de Laredo, tex.

 

9:00pm to 11:00pm> Bucky Lopez from grupo 'Los tejano bucks'.

 

SATURDAY ALL DAY:

 

12:00pm to 2pm> Los crazy dudes from NY, NY.

 

3:00pm to 5:pm> Harrycore Ramirez del group hardcore Mary u su conjunto de                  

       corpitos./

 

7:00pm to 9:00pm > Janie y Las Masotas.

 

10:00pm to 12:00am> Siloma Griffin ruelas del group siloma del valle.

 

And finally Sunday afternoon :

 

2:00pm to 4:00pm> DON PEDRO “el pelon cara de nopal”.

 

6:00pm to 8:00pm> Cristina y los Cream Puffs.

 

 Si raza as you can see we have a heck of a line up, so have a nice day and make sure that if you are drinking do drive, the county, the city and the state needs the money and now back to gloria.

 

Ok thanks Malone balone,. Ok raza, now let’s go to our CONA LOZANO CASH AND CARRY SPORTS COMPLEX, with an update, with our own sports guy FRANKIE TUXEDO ZUNIGA.

 

Si gloria I am frankie standing here in front of our sports complex. We are getting ready to accept teams for these year’s “2013 EL TAQUCHA FANTASY FOOTBALL CHAMPIONSHIP TO BE HELD IN TWO WEEKS.  So make sure an email your team names: cchwnn@netscape.net. Now back to Gloria.

 

Ok thanks Frankie, now let’s go to our main stage here at the mall and lets go to Mr turkey our mall mascot.

 

Mr. Turkey: gobble goblle goblele al eoathl e.

 

Ok thank mr turkey, oh he said that this weekend we have lots and lots of cheap  things for sale here at the mall and make sure and lay a way for that Christmas day.

 

Ok raza I am Gloria Guerra have a great holiday.

hejola report for 11202013

Hejola report for 11202013.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, Texas, hello I am Mmmaria Malone with the number one barrio news network, which I am very proud to be member of this team. Now for our award winning barrio news:
Constable ends riot at t-ball game.
Pansasos and pandemonium at the tee ball game.
And some real good news.
Now that the tamale season is just around the corner, lots of animal advocates ar...e a bit worried along with the barrio animal control que lots of pets have been showing up missing on that Barrio Woof Woof missing pets on our barrio face book. The constable has instructed his staff and los vato’s loco volunteer firefighters to keep an eye open for anything or anyone that don’t look normal.
Today el constable gave out the names and address of those folks who started a riot and were arrested at a tee ball game. The constable pointed out that this type of action and parents acting like little kids just don’t cut it. We have arrest warrants out for some of these parents, and believe me I am going to bust them.
And finally, Base on the report it all started when an unknown man verbally insulted and accused a kid of wearing stolen tee ball gear. Juana Chavez mother of child along with her muffin top confronted the suspect and the lonja grabbing began, pushing and punches were exchanged among the parents until constable cadena had to arrest several of the parents, three tee baller’s and several cats and dogs were all haul to jail. Charges are pending. Oh by the way, Juana and her lonjas are okay. Suspect still at large says el constable.Ok folks thanks again and hope to hear from me real soon, I am Mmmaria Malone, good day.

hejola report for 11192013

Hejola report for 11192013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, texas. Hello again raza, I am Veronica la lesbian con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Gay Tejano bar sets standards.

Tejanos file suit against gay Tejano bar.

And finally some real good news.

Yesterday it was announced the Tejano days will be held this year at the Westinghouse bar mall. The lineup includes the history of tejano’s in the hood, schedule of events to be announce soon, attractions highlights will be provide also. So save your money and come on down to this year’s Tejano days coming soon.

Two want to be tejanos, who by the way work at an office and never in their life’s have been a Tejano filed a law suit against two tons of fun over the ability to identify who is male or female at that bar. You know you get tired of asking a woman to dance and turn out to be another man. How in the world can you slow dance with that, says one of the want to be Tejano who filed the law suit. The law suit will be discussed at the next court date set for August 12, 2033.

 

And finallyYesterday the only Tejano gay bar in the nation “two tons of fun” announced that they will be enforcing new bathroom and makeup standards for its remodel bar. Le Plu, the new manager told us que they were going to make the bar more attractive to tejanos and not so much for you know who? So we are going to require that all gay men and women must register at the door and be given an arm bracelet to make sure we know if they are men or women. Furthermore they will require so much makeup on a person to make sure we know what sex they really are.

Ok raza see you all sooner than later.

hejola report for 111182013

Hejola report for 11182013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again, I am David Duran, have you ever noticed how time flies when you have money vs. when you don’t have money it moves really really slow? But for now here is our award winning barrio headline news:

Tina V. memorial center.

Cat lovers increased.

And now so good darn news.

Local barrio Christmas groups are requesting the barrio to limit the number of sancho clause vs. the real santa clauses. Last year a member of this group told us que there can only be some many santa clauses and of course a very few sancho clause. The city and county leaders will go over this matter at their next meeting.

Yesterday a special barrio welcome wagon committee set out to see how many cats and cat lovers live in the hood. The findings were amazing and were more than what we thought we would find. The results of this study won’t be release till 2021.

Several members of our barrio welcome wagon and 200 so call cat lovers that are still protecting her 200 cats have agreed in theory with the city and county to open and support a Animal Shelter under Tina’s name and help maintain her 200 or more cats. The leader of the barrio welcome wagon has mention that the whole nation can learn from this great tragedy, and save lots of money if the authority go along with helping establish this memorial center.

Ok raza got to go and have a great Tejano day.

barrio stock market report for 11152013

Barrio stock market report 11152013

Cchwnn.

 

Como estan big spenders I am Urbano Yosabatodo con this weeks barrio stock market report for this week. Let’s start con higher education. Chinga compadre if you y la comandre are planning to send junior y la hija to college well you better start saving for them. I have always wonder si mucha de la raza does save to send pancho y pancha too college?  I am more than sure that at least 99 percent have not.

 

But don’t worry there is always federal aid and state aid and of course si pancho or pancha are a chip off the old block its possible an academic scholarships and on and on. Wow, now tha’st heavy or not? But then there is always el tiya y el tiyo y el grandpa y grandma. And if you own you;ve own rancho them there those few cattle you have been saving for that rainy day…. All and all college education is not getting any cheaper. I am sure that there are lots of reports and studies to tell us on how inflation and our poor accounting skills don’t help in raising those kinds of funds to send them to seek a higher education.

 

Chinga  whatever happen to those days que a high school graduate was bad ass and you could still work en el rancho.

 

Now for that award will barrio stock market:

 

>Las tortillas were up from last week $1.35 a pack.

< cheap beer down from last week $4.52 a six pack.

>los tamales were up due to all the walking esta vato does which he calls inflantion $6.00 a dozen.

 

 

> la barbacoa de cabeza was up from last week $6.50 lb. Easy con el con la manteca..

>las empanadas were really up this week at $.79 cent each.

^los  taquitos were stable this week at $1.25 each coffee is extra.

 

Ok raza there you have it for today’s barrio stock market report for 11152013

hejola report for 11132013

Hejola report for 11132013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx. Hello again, well I am back con this today’s award winning barrio headline news, I am bill diaz, and now for the news:

Free standing public urinals are being proposed for 2008 in the hood.

Mistrial declared after barrio lawyer forgets argument.

And finally barrio man tasers la commadre mother in a family dispute.

It seems que Luis chapa had enough con la comadres grandmother after she gave her opinion on a matter that was none of her business. So Luis used a stun gun on the grandmother to keep her freaking mouth shut.  The constable cadena arrested Luis and is investigating it as a domestic assault. Charges are pending. La grandmother was not injured, and didn’t required any medical attention.

Things were going so good for lalo Martinez on trail for killing seven cats, two dogs, and a unlimited number of little squirrels . El abogado Juan pistolas was about to deliver his closing statement when he went brain dead, loses his train of thought in trying to defend lalo. The judge declared a mistrial in a murder case of little poor animals, after the defense lawyer said he couldn't continue his closing statement because he had lost his train of thought or just plan forgot. The judge also suggested that el abogado seek medical help at the st. pauls medical center.

It seems que more and more raza are getting busted in the hood for reveling themselves on public streets. A large number of barrio members attended a barrio meeting on how to solve this problem, especially at the corner of third and Wells Street.  The proposal is to put free standing public urinals near that corner. It seems que at the large number of drunken come from that area, which is along the popular night club scene.  The city and county fathers and mothers will look into this matter.

Well there you have it raza I am bill diaz an see you all later gator.

hejola report for 11122013

Hejolia report for 1112013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx. Now the man from Wisconsin dells, David Duran, once again como estan? Bill is on a vacation. But for now let’s get to our award winning barrio head line news:

Judge Casanova chases defendant,

Vato in hood killed by boomerang,

And barrio cheerleaders help catch thief, again, and credit to cross country team also.

It was reported que Gilbert Ramon age 43, allegedly Stole a bag of cigarettes from Lopez stop and shop store and ran away as fast as he could.  His escape route led him onto Barrio High School grounds, where the barrio cheerleading team was practicing.  He was tackled by about 30 female cheerleaders and 2 male cheerleaders and held Mr. Ramón until the barrio constable cadena could get there.

Just for the record, another  bunch of girls and boys have been given credit for helping catch a purse-snatcher last year.  It seem que esta vato grabbed a purse in the hood is not a good business to get into.  The  barrio’s girls' high school cross-country team came out of training and again happened to have run into this bunch of do good-erWitness say que they saw at least 35 girls dressed like cheerleaders chased the thief until he got scared and dropped the purse, but was later catch hiding in the alley.

 

Last week at Judge Casanova courtroom across the tracks, defendant Ernesto Quinones, managed to breaker free and dashed out the courtroom door upon being sentenced to 120 days in jail for violating previous drunken driving sentences, but Judge Casanova leaped from the judge's bench in hot pursuit, while his judicial robe Flapping behind him.  The judge pursued Quinines out of the building, down The street, and into a Lopez stop and shop, where a clerk and off duty barrio cop Capt Joe Brown captured him.  After bringing Quinines back to the courtroom, Judge Casanova tacked On nine more months.

And finally, folks sometime we buy stuff at garage sales and really don’t know what to do with them or use them. But in this case Tomas Tellez had just purchased a boomerangs, and was showing kids in the hood how it was thrown.  On one of his tries it seems que he didn’t see the boomerang come back and struck him on the head. Mr. teller was rushed to the hospital a died from his head wound later that evening.

Well folks I quess that’s how the ram flies,  I am David Duran.

barrio stock market report for 11082013

Barrio  stock market report for 11302007.                                                Cchwnn.                                                                                                                                                Kingsville,tx . ola como estan I  am Pancho Francisco lopez younger brother to urbano, who by the way got arrested yesterday evening. I really couldn’t understand what the hell he was talking about. I think he wanted us to bail him out. Anyhow le’ts get to our stock report for today.

 

Oh by the way everything went up due to the dallas cowboys playing last night. We got word que the prices on everything, I mean everything went up on price, I  mean everything.

 

                                               

Los taquitos up ten cents from last week, ended the week at $1.35 each coffee is extra.

Los  tamales are on a steady increase, which we noticed a few weeks ago, ended the week at $6.25 a dozen. And expected to reach $6.50 by the end of the year.

Las tortillas, also were up this week with an increase of at least 25 percent from last week, ended the week at $1.65 a pack of twelve.

la barbacoa de caberas remained stable, ended the week at $6.50 a lb.

Las empanadas are on a roll now , and their prices are sky high, las empanadas took an increase ending the week at $.78 each. Pesse hejola.

And that cheap beer getting cheap. Six pack ended the week at $3.67.

 

Barrio want ads:

 

Item #. 75846:  used bicycle for sale. Has no tires but a used rim. Make offer.

 

Item#56841: used women underwear for sale. All size, make offer for lot. Please note super g-stings. I bet size 43, easy.

 

Item #56243; let over easter rabbits and chickens for sale. Some in good health and other you decide. Make offer soon.

 

Item # 54216: use tires sale, have all size but need a few to get the ones we don’t have. We have to look around the hood. Do have or some special rim that we found at the corner of wells and third street.

Item #56584: used green bay packer shirts an caps for sale. 

Ok raza there you have it for today. You better watchout and you better not cry because sancho clause is coming tonight.

hejola report for 11072013

Hejola report for 11072013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Tina V. might still be alive.

Local police raid cat house, and turned back.

And some sad news.

Yesterday afternoon, the local authorizes tried to raid the home of our beloved Tina V. Gonzales home which by the way has been surrounded by more than 200 supporters and at least 250 cats. The raid didn’t improve community relations and were not very successful in their first attempt to capture the remain cats. The leader of the raid told us que they will be another day.

The local police raided the home of Tina V. with an army of 5 animal control workers, two regular police and 3 constable assistances were overwhelm with the 200 or more folks surround the premises and the 250 cats. The crowd surrounds the police force and forced them off the compound with water balloons, bottle rockets, firecrackers, and anything they could throw at them. At least ten protesters were injured and 15 cats were harmed and at least 22 of them cats when missing. No arrests were made by a spoke person told me that the police were able to capture some 20 or more cats. You could hear the police as they ran for their lives yelling we will be back.

And finally a police report from the next county have informed the barrio welcome wagon that there is big doubt the body recovered a few days ago was Tina V. Gonzales. A few relatives and a barrio spoke person have been asked to come over to the next county and see if this they can identified the woman’s body is really Tina V.

Ok raza have a great day and cover up.

hejola report for 11062013

Hejolia report for 11062013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx. Now from our command post here is David Duran.

Once again Como estan todos? Now for out award winning barrio  headlines news:

Barrio 8-ball lotto winner,

Commadre boxing schools open their doors.

Vato locos volunteer fire fighters hold monthly smoke alarm drive,

And two are arrested after car stalls in middle of the street,

Yesterday afternoon la familia medina’s car stalled at the corner of wells and third Street. It was reported que los vatos behind the stalled car didn’t have much patience’s and started to honk their car horn at the stall car. At one point the two men inside the car got outside and started to harass la familia medina. Well here is where Mr. Medina recently released from prison, got outside his car and was reported to have pulled a gun and pointed at the two vato’s. Witness say que Mr. medina made the two men knee in the mid of the street as he tried to start his car. No one was injured or hurt but the two vatos sworn que they will never again hurry anyone anymore.

Several boxing schools have started to register women wanting to be price fighters.  Since the Westinghouse barrio mall is back on schedule and plan to open its doors come the new year.  Oh yes,  we will have matches every Thursday nights at the center of the mall.

We are hoping que muchas de las commadres come and join the fun and action planned here. La commadre boxing coming soon.

And finally, Starting this weekend los vatos loco volunteer firefights will have their monthly fire alarm drive. Estos vatos will be standing at the corner of third and well collecting money to buy instant popcorn packets to give to hood members as fire alarms. Our goal says one of los locos is to purchase at least three boxes this month. Our motto is If the popping don’t wake you up, the popcorn smell will.

Well raza got to go and have a great Tejano day..