hejola report for 02282018

Hejola report for 02282018.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, texas. Hello again I am bill diaz with today’s award winning barrio headline news, but todays statement is “ it could happen”, and now for our report:

Rain and other stuff deal payment;

The barrio leaders told us that they will delay all welfare payments until the ones that are getting these check have to find a job within the next few weeks or some of their benefits will be denied. One of the persons that will be affected said that I wish I could find a real job, but in reality it could happen.

Barrio senior’s basketball headed to state:

Our barrio seniors basketball is headed across town to complete against other seniors for the title of state gold champs. One of the coaches told us que this year’s team is ready and much better than last year’s. It could happen this year where we might just win the title. “it could happen”.

And finally barrio urged to buy lotto tickets:

The barrio 8 ball lotto is back and in full forces. This come month the lotto will be offer a grand prize of $50 and winner take all. What are the chances of you will this lotto? It could happen.

Ok raza have a great day.

hejola report for 02272018

Hejola report for 02272018.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Gloria Guerra with today’s 2017 award winning headline news, but by the way todays favor statement is “ we don’t know yet”.

Barrio prepare for 2017 taxes;

Once again our local senior citizen center is asking for your help in claiming senior on your taxes for 2017. We still have some eligible citizen but how many we don’t know yet, but still have some you might still claim on your taxes. Please come by our center and look around for your senior. Please note only the ones that are still eligible will be wearing a birthday hat stating 2017 on it.

Ten barrio residents arrested at the corner of third and wells, why we don’t know yet :

A big fight broke out late last night when it seems that two men were fighting in the middle of the street around 1 a.m. the reason for the fight no know yet at this point but we do know that eight more persons jumped in on the fight and for what reason we don’t know yet. Charges will be filed but we don’t know yet.

And finally what happy days:

The happy day fest has been cancelled for this weekend due to the fact that hood hasn’t seen any happy days this year. The organizer of the event told us that there was no need in having this fest because there weren’t many happy days for 2018. But we do plan on having a happy day month this year schedule for some time in Sept but we don’t know yet!

Ok have a great day raza.

hejola report for 02232018.

Hejola report for 02232018.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello raza how are we doing, I am Veronica la Lesbian con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio prepare for taqucaha day.

Ten tejanos gays arrested at bar.

And now some good news.

Today a handful of tejanos went out and gather around 2 tons of recycle cans for this year’s barrio recycle can hunt which replaced easter bunny eggs. Do you have few cans you want to donate?

Late last night ten Tejano gays persons were arrested for not using the right bathroom. It seems que el barrio had already gotten a letter from the city que the only Tejano gay bar needed to have at least three bathrooms: men, women and whatever. The owners of the Tejano gay bar said que he didn’t know about this matter and said que he had plans on fixing it. Two tons of fun bar was shut down after this incident. But plans to reopen sooner than later.

Yesterday the organizers of the third annual Taqucha day is schedule for this weekend. Here all the owners of taquchas will be given an opportunity to give ideas on how to preserve taquchas. It’s time that we took a stand con los taquchas and the way they have been treated. The leader of so call taquchas told us que he wasn’t real sure of what direction they were headed. But once we get enough taqucaha owners we will go from there.

And by the way see you all at fanfare.

hejola report for 02222018.

Hejolia report for 02222018.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. Hi there, I am bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Primo wakes up on the way to morgue: 

Chinga, if things weren’t bad enough for el primo, better known as el primo, lost his job, lost his wife, lost his home, lost his car, lost his family, lost his cable and  lost his t.v., lost his accordion, and all his pets left him. So el primo, based on what the el constables report tried to kill himself by smoking ten joints, drinking two cases of beer, three bottles of wine and a wild night con you know who. Well it seems que someone called el constable to report que el primo was not responding to anything late Saturday night, I mean anything and everything says the caller. Well el constable called los vato’s loco volunteer firefighters who have a little experience dealing con these matters. When los loco’s got there they determined que he might be dead. So they called the real 918, and requested to pick up the body. On his way over to the morgue el primo woke up and walked out of the 1979 ford whatever. No charges will be filed but he is going to be billed for the ride half way there.

Barrio vato attacks wrong handicap person:

Joh Ruiz lost his left arm and right leg in a freak accident about 10 years ago when he got drunk and fell asleep on the rail road tracks and the morning 4:00am train ran over him. Since then he has master some self defense training. But esta vato from the barrio really thought he had a chance to rip  him off late Saturday night when Joh left the only topless bar in the hood. As he hopped down the street esta vato surprised him, that’s when Joh went into action. He turned around and laid some heavy chingos at esta vato head and did a drop kick with his only leg. Esta vato was found knocked out in the middle of the alley around third and wells after Joh informed el constable. No charges will be filed against Joh but esta vato is going to jail, says el constable cadena.

And finally barrio airways bust barrio family con pets:

El y la senior Martinez were asked to get off the only barrio airway plane this Saturday when they were trying to sneak ten cats and three dogs on board the 5 passenger plane. They almost had it says captain Mingo, the only license pilot and owner of barrio airways. Si esta gente were trying to be pretty tricky an almost got away with until la seniora seemed to be talking to one off her seven carryon luggage and bags. No charges will be filed but captain Mingo told us que if they are willing to pay extra it’s very possible that they can fly again con barrio airways. 


There you have it raza, lots of things going on and it seems que things never end.

hejola reprot for 02192018.

Hejola report for 02192018.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Ten chickens and five turkeys found.
The constable is asking for your help in determining who this chickens and turkeys belong to. The constable told us que he came across them late last night and it took him about one hour to either gather them together or just plain run over them with his car. He told que the some these poor little animals were kind of seriously hurt but some might be able to half survived the running over. Please contact our office If you have any information about them. 

Junior high large crow mascot shot died. 

A well known local gun smith and a sharp shooter, Benny Mayo, was demonstrating his gun skills to a group of special ed. children when his gun went off accidently and killed the school mascot, the largest Crow ever seen in this parts of the world. It so happen que the crow was sitting in the corner of the class room when the gun went off, shooting the crow’s head off. No children were injured, but a large number of teachers and the school nurse tired to super glue the crow’s head back on to no prevail. School official are determining if charges should be filed again Mr. Torres, or just ask him to replace that crow. I guess they didn’t have vato super glue. Oh wellAnd finally school cafeteria being investigated.

And finally school cafeteria being investigated

Yesterday school district official visited el Centro for education school cafeteria after charges were filed against some of its cooks for substituting power eggs for real eggs on their school menu. The report tell us que the cooks at the centro cafeteria had been taking home large number of eggs on a daily bases, claiming que they weren’t any good or were egg shells. But it turned out que while trying to dump them in the trash, several relatives of them workers were waiting to pick up the load of eggs and rush them home to real sale to local chain stores go and stop. Charges are pending and it might take up too several days to determine who was on this scam. 

Ok raza have a great day.

barrio literacy and writer prize award winner for 2017.

barrio literacy and writer prize award winner for 2017 the creator daniel lopez.

02162018.

CHICANO CABLE HOT WIRED NEWS NETWORK WINS AGAIN 2012.

BARRIO LITERACY AND WRITER PRIZE AWARD WINNER FOR 2012, the creator Daniel Lopez.

 Kingsville,tx. Hello again mi raza I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news. We are waiting for our creator to make his acceptations speech for this year’s “2017 BARRIO LITERACY AND WRITER PRIZE AWARD WINNER”. Now here is Gloria Guerra:

Hello raza I am Gloria Guerra here at the mall y Si bill we are so excited que our creator is the recipient of this year’s barrio literacy and writer prize award winner for 2017 AGAIN, and again and again.                                                                                 

Now let’s go and review  Daniel  acceptations speech:

Thank you mi raza, tejanos, TEXmex, chicano, latinos y bill collectors, First of all I would like to accept this non monetary prize in behave of all my staff and myself for the long selfish hours we spend working on trying to uncover some deeper truths about life and about ourselves .

 In our studies we try to study life stories of our la raza as well as our experience as la raza and what we go through life. Did you know que we have realized que there are more interesting truths to be revealed than to be found in el barrio in it as in ourselves.

We here at Chicano Cable hot wired News Network believe in the deconstructionism of our English language, as long as you clean up after you’re done. And we do not believe that masterpieces do exist, nor do we want them to. We prefer the glory of brilliant mistakes, Because without mistakes one will never really learn the englisss language. And thanks to the internet we have been able to accomplish this.

 I am chicano and I can speak and spell englisss any way I want to, mi entiendes  mendez, Thank you and god be with you .

hejola report for 02152018

Hejola report for 02152018.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello raza and how was your day to fall in love? Anyhow I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

La commadre arrested for striping. 

 la commadre finds a stranger in her bed. 

It seems que the valentine’s day dance held last night was too much for el compadre Martin Chapa. El senor chapa was arrested after he tried to fled the scene where he found himself sleeping con la comadre from across the street. Somehow or someway he managed to cuddled up to la comadre in her bed. And when la commadre woke up and startled el compadre he tried to make a run for it. El constable cadena told this reporter que it is not possibility that this incident could be related to others , whereas in the last two years such incidents have been occurring that included sexual assaults. El compadre will be charged. 

Vato in the hood arrested three times in one week.

El senor Panchito Blanco was arrested three times in one day last we heard. He first was charged for a motor vehicle violation, which was his car didn’t have a front windshield and than he was charged with driving without a driver license and furthermore, he had attached two different driver plates one in front of his car was from Texas and than one in the back was from California. And the one that broke the camel’s back, was he had forgery of registry documents and driving an unregistered and uninsured vehicle. He was toll away to the county jail.

La commadre arrested for striping. 

It seems that a 52 year old barrio woman who stripped in front of her chidren in a drunk attempt to avoid a shoplifting arrest is going to jail says el constable cadena. Si, Maria Gacia will be locked up for a few days based on her plea agreement. She will also be expected to do at least 100 hours of community work. Ms. Garcia was charged with stealing some candy and a pack of gum from the store. It seems the store owner called el constable and told them what Maria had done, so they went over to her home where she began screaming at the constable. During all this, she then stripped to her underwear and told el constable que she dare him to arrest her because she was naked. Oh well.

Well folks there you have it I am bill diaz

hejola report for 02122018

Hejola report for 02122018.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. Hello again I am alcardio samudio, bill is on vacation. Wow the first of the month is not even  here and we are already broke. Will we ever have enough money to pay monthly bills? Now for our barrio headline news:

Barrio man arrested after making car payment.

Two more arrested for holding up barrio ice cream man.

And finally barrio man tries to kill himself.

El constable was summon to the resident of Palito Gomez, age 58, when he told his family que he didn’t have enough money to pay this month bills. So Palito did the only thing he could come with and that was tried to kill himself by hanging himself in the back room. The only problem was the water hoes he used was made out of plastic and since he weighed about 300 lbs, it stretched so much that he was standing up within seconds. At that moment his family discovered him past out on the floor con major plastic neck rope burns, that required 918 services. He was taken to the lalala farm across the tracks for observations.

If things could not be worse for la familia Cantu, when for the fifth time this month their barrio ice cream truck was held up by two unknown vatos. The driver tells us que the guys that held him up again were wearing wrestlers masks. El constable is looking any information pertaining to this incident. A large snow cone is being offered for any information.

And finally, El senor Martin Charles was arrested yesterday on charges of arm robbery and left the scene of a robbery. El senor Charles thought he was pretty cute when he made his payment on his car and came right back wearing a wrestlers mask pero con the same clothes. It didn’t take the constable long to find him down the street. Charges will be filed.

hejola report for 02082018

Hejiloa report for 02082018.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio 55 Chevy headed to the moon;

17 barrio members’ sign up con barrio airways to take a ride on the new projected 55 Chevy headed to the moon. It was announced last night that these persons will be trained and retrained to be able to make it to the moon while the can hold their breath and more. Did you how much it cost to take them there and back... a bunch says one of the persons that is organizing the trip? We will keep you updated on the progress.

Barrio airline questioned about space trip;

Yesterday afternoon a few real cops came by at the corner of third and wells and spoke with the person in charge of the  temporary booth placed there recruiting persons to the moon. The cops were worried that this could have been some scam due the fact that those interested were required to make a payment of $17,000 up front in order to process their application. More details later.

And finally moon walk stolen:

Sometime during the night someone or somebody went an stolen a bunch of moon walks equipment from a rental store across the tracks. Al Peoples Pal owner of the place told us que he was more than sure que it could have been those persons in charge of the moon trip. Look I overhead them talking the other day outside the store on how to steal one of this so they could practice their moon walk, once they get there. The constable is checking it out.

Ok raza have a great day.

hejola report for 02022018

Hejola report for 02022018.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx hello raza como estan, I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio home interior busted.

How to keep your mother in law in check author arrested.

And finally some good news.

Ten little monkeys were rescued yesterday from 32 dogs and 15 cats that were chasing them in the hood. El constable and about 20 brave volunteers were able to catch the majority of them monkeys and were able to fight off some of the homeless dogs. The city  and barrio leaders will discuss this matter at the next city meeting schedule for March 2033.

La commadre Nancy Alaniz was arrested yesterday afternoon when she was displaying her brand new book named “ How to keep your mother in law in check”. One of the ways as explained in her book was to slap the chit of your mother in law next time she got out of hand. Well that didn’t go very well with certain mother in laws that confronted Nancy at the mall. In one case Nancy actually slapped a so call mother in law to demonstrate que it don’t take long for your in- law to snap and keep her in check. Charges will be filed against her.

 And finally,Yesterday el senor Henry Gomez was arrested as he acted out his own home interior program and had nothing to do with the real so call company. Gomez had been giving his barrio home interior displays in home that folks believe que he was on the up and up. But reality skunk in real quick when those families that had hosted his program were robbed when he went to their family bathroom. He managed to roam around folk home taking whatever he could hind in his pants. Charges will be filed against esta vato.

Ok raza be cool and stay warm.

westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 02012018

westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 02012018.

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 02012018.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, TX. Hello again I am Gloria Guerra mall manager con this week’s mall news. This year we are glad to report que we did not get one shop lifter here at the mall, reducing to almost nothing this pasted year, now con that report here is our general Fideo Vermicelli.
Si Gloria we are glad to report que we did not get one shoplifter arrested nor caught this past year and we are very proud. But on the bad note, some of the stuff that was taken was really not worth the time to be chasing folks for. Now back to Gloria.
Gee general do we know how to fight crime or what? Now with some other mall news, now for some unusually news and display, let’s go con Veronica la lesbian.
Si Gloria this weekend we have a giant treat for all men and women. We will have on display the world second largest condom here. Si it will be on display on the second floor of our mall and only adults will be able to see what a real man is all about and what women die for. Ok now back to Gloria.
Ok, a giant condom,huh. Anyhow folks and finally, let’s go con maria la vandia con here report of the week.
Si Gloria this weekend we have twenty couples plan on getting married here at the mall , so if you are into cake and free cookies come on down around 600pm Saturday for the wedding and the reception we will hold for them . ok now back to Gloria.

Ok folks there we have it for today’s mall news letter.