hejola report for 07292019

Hejola report for 07292019.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Teas. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Mora’s funeral home garage sale;

Yesterday afternoon a small large crowd attended the first even held Funeral home rally garage sale, the program was put together my Mora’s funeral home invited all ten area funeral home to sell items that are hard to find. There was a large collection of near never used and used coffins. You do know that not everyone is buried when they move on but many are placed inside rental coffins for a few hours or days. That was one of several used items that were are sale this pasted weekend. Also a large number of used clothing were all for sale.

Barrio chicken farm under investigation;

Yesterday a team of investigators raided “Juan’s Chicken Shack” where it had several reports that some raw chicken pieces had been either haunted or came back to life while they were been cooked in front of its customers! El constable told us that these chickens being used must be from out of the area chicken farms due to the fact barrio chickens never survived such a beating.

 And finally a family of 20 charged it to god!

You and I both know that there are lots of weird folks out there and our barrio is no exceptions to that. It seem that more than 20 members of La Fuentes family thought it was a good idea to stop and eat at the barrio Whatanaga Burger and order dinner for all 20 some members. At the end of their fest they were asked to pay for their meals, but the leader of the pack, Al Fuentes a barrio minister told the owner que god was going to pay for it, in other words “ Dios te lo pagar’a”! They were all arrested and taken to the holly mole land better known as Jail house!

Ok holly mole have a great barrio day and remember be all have to pay at the end of the road!

hejola report for 07242019

Hejola report for 07162009./2019
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again como estan todos, I am bill diaz. Just to let you know that we will be on vacation next ten days so be careful and if we pass on, well it was nice knowing you all. This past weekend was sand bag weekend. It hasn’t rain in sometime and we just have that gut feeling que its going to rain cats and dogs soon. So what the hood did was gather all the barrio members and we starting filling sand bags for all the lower barrio homes, just in case. Hejola it pays to be ready.
Now for the headline barrio news;

Barrio prepare for big rain,

Two arrested for stealing,

And la commadre boxing migh be cancelled.


Yesterday afternoon el barrio boxing commissioner mr. choy told us que la commadre boxing might not happen till a few weeks from this coming weekend. The reasons are several but were not discussed in public. We feel que the mall is checking con su insurance to make sure que if someone gets hurt que they wont be sued later.

In other news two vatos were arrested early Sunday morning the future site of el barrio conjunto enchanted land. The two were trying to steal some used wood and nails ,that were being used in building the enchanted land. The constable who arrested estos tell us que charges will be filed against this two dudes.

And finally the whole barrio is bracing its self for the rain to come. It was announced yesterday by our own barrio weatherman St. Juan norterno gave us the weather forecast for the next two months, and do we have rain coming. With this in mind the whole hood has being doing its sand bag thing. 

Ok raza there you have it for today. I am bill diaz and have a great tejano day.

hejola report for 07112012

Hejola report for 07112012. 
Cchwnn. 
Kingsville,tx. Hello again bill diaz and sure glad to be back from vacation, but for now here is our award winning barrio headline news: 
Barrio income on the raise; 2033. 
More arrests pending. 
Happy ending to a sad story. 
A few weeks ago we had reported que a stray dog had taken over the corner of third and wells street. This little guy was so brave que his tail was always between his legs, but yet was very brave little guy. Well that ended this past weekend when someone somehow ran him over. 

Yesterday the task force along con el constable cadena did a sweep of the hood and arrested at least ten men, two women, and around twenty seven cats and dogs. The charges were from stealing, to stealing and stealing, but were not sure what the cats and dogs were arrested for. 

A study done by a barrio education person told us que he was preparing a barrio income report to demonstrate que barrio members were on the move to a better life. This new study shows que even in the hood, Barrio members’ income was getting a lot better than before. He added que by the year 2033, we all should be above the poverty level. 
Ok raza have a great Tejano day.

hejola report for 07102019

Informe de Hejola para 07102019. Cchwnn. Kingsville, Texas. Hola de nuevo, soy el galardonado boletín de noticias de hoy diaz con: El líder del barrio niega todo y cualquier cosa; En la conferencia de prensa del barrio, Tomás Trumpas se mantuvo firme en su posición de que no había hecho nada malo cuando hizo campaña en la casa de varios ancianos del barrio. Él y otra vatos están acusados ​​de tener fiestas sexuales con mujeres mayores de 80 años. Nos contó cómo en el mundo me excitaría con las ancianas que no llevan casi nada, ¡venga! Barrio evaluará a las personas que solicitan cupones de alimentos en función del número de tatuajes: Era solo una cuestión de tiempo que el capó sabría a la gente que pedía asistencia pública. ¡Parece que los líderes del barrio se aseguran de que todos los trabajadores de casos que emiten cupones de alimentos deben hacerse fotos de tatuajes y evaluar el costo real de los mismos y reducir la cantidad de cupones de alimentos! Los líderes de los barrios nos han dicho que si la gente necesita asistencia pública, deberían haber usado el dinero que gastan en tatuajes para la comida. Si pueden pagarlos, entonces usted no necesita cupones de alimentos. Programa de protesta masiva para este fin de semana: El grupo "Ya no tenemos más fichas" tendrá el rally más grande este próximo fin de semana de protesta. Las personas que caminan, montan y cargan mascotas tendrán que pagar un impuesto por cualquier ficha que la nueva patrulla de ciudad encontrará si usted está cerca. El líder del grupo de El Popa espera que al menos 10 caballos, 22 gatos, 18 patos, 22 perros y varias cabras y ovejas estén presentes en el mitin. El único grupo que quedará exento de esta multa serán los servicios de taxis de elefantes. Otro líder de este grupo nos dijo que no iban a tomar nada de este pollo. Ok, los chicharrones de pollo tienen un gran día y asegurémonos de mantenerlos juntos.

hejola report for 07042019

Hejola report for 07102013. 07042019.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx. Como estan again I am bill diaz and we are back from that short long  vacation que we spend too little too much. But we are back in full swing and now let’s get to that award winning headline news:

Barrio man fakes heart attack and arrested.

Several arrested after barrio Ex, deliver drugs.

And finally, barrio elder gets stuck under her wheelchair.

La senora maria ruiz somehow fell down and brought her wheelchair down with her, when she reached over to get her pill bottle, managed to tip over her wheel chair and fell on top of her. After several days of not answering her phone, her relatives came over to see if she was alright and found her pinned down. El constable tells us que she will be alright. No charges will be filed against the wheel chair.

First of all, seemed que two vatos didn’t realize que you could get into lots of trouble by shipping drugs via barrioEX delivery service. Well known for its great barrio services, it seemed que barrio EX made a small mistake and delivered the 100 pounds of weed to the wrong address. Once el constable was called in, he and his barrio forces 666 posed as barrioEX employess intended to deliver the stuff, they arrested two vatos who’s names are being withheld..

And finally, It seems que el compadre Nector manula Hantu just don’t know when to stop his bull shit. It seems que el compadre was arrested at the Westinghouse barrio mall for faking his 33nd heart attack in ten days. In doing this he has avoid paying a shit load off restaurant bills  and taxi fares. El constable cadena was going to let him go at his last attack but it seemed que los vatos loco volunteer firefighters recognized him from his last faked heart attack. El compadre is facing some serious charges.

Well raza its good to be back, and rolling again. And have a great 4 of July.

hejola report for 07012019