Thursday, February 25, 2010

westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 02242010

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 10102007.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, TX. Hello again I am Gloria Guerra con this week’s mall newsletter. Well if the shit wasn’t enough where the city, county, and state people took it on their own to start knocking the hood down, well con todo esto the mall was also effected, now with that report here is alcardio samudio.
Si Gloria drug and law enforcement officers along con el constable cadena raided several stores here at the mall. El senior MI casa Es su casa restaurant owner got busted for selling weed here in the mall. My god what the hell is wrong con el compadre casas. Chinga if la raza didn’t have it so bad already and now give our mall a bad name.
In addition to all this Gloria, Martha Gomez owner of Martha’s nail and curls were also raided for selling hot stuff. Chinga what else could have happen. Furthermore, j.j. Sanchez owner of JJ videos and cd also were raided for selling hot stuff and pirate tapes. All and all Gloria ten people were arrested con esta raid at the mall.
Si thank al. the law dogs didn’t even warn us here que the raid was coming. So that made everyone here at the mall very nervous and a bit worried. Anyhow we will see how many of the charges will hold, BUT besides that lets go to our man in the mall our mall mascot mr. turkey:

Mr turkey here gobble gobble there and sometime or here and let lets say que gobble here and gobble there ok Gloria.
Ok mr. turkey by the way we will be having our first mascot day coming in a few weeks so be looking for that.
I am Gloria Guerra here at the Westinghouse barrio mall .

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

hejola report for 02232010

Hejola report for 02232010.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s barrio award winning headline news:
La comadre plea guilty,
Several comadres leave town to go shopping,
And finally I am too good for the hood.

Those were the last words we heard from la commadre Rosieta Bueno after she promise never to shop in the barrio again. It seems que the hood is so behind in fashion que I have to go dallas o Houston or even three rivers to do my shopping. One shop owner whose name we will not mention, said que if la comadre wasn’t so fat she could find what she wanted here.

In other fashion news, it’s a fact que the word is out que not to shop in el Westinghouse mall porque they are out of style and chingos de commadres are preparing to take a long trip to dallas, houston and even three rivers or somewhere like Waco or something to find a better style of clothing. The only bad part of this whole matter is que las commadre wear blue jeans and have to go to the men’s section to find the right fit. Pesse hejola.
And finally la commadre Luz Diaz was found guilty for stealing, cheating, lying, and just plan being ugly to all her friends who donated chingos de clothing, money and lots of goods when her supposedly burned down. It was discovered que she had made all this up. She will be in court this coming Monday.
Well there you have it raza and for those who think que the fashion in south texas is behind the times. Yu are right. How far does a person have to go to buy men’s blue jeans.. I am bill diaz.

Monday, February 22, 2010

hejola report for 02222010

Hejolia report for 02222010.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello once again como estan, I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Drunk vato at education rally,
La commadre accepts admissions to college at age of 73.
And finally, ten county inmates escape work crew.
It was a bad idea for the get go, says el constable Cadena when ten county inmates from across the tracks were assigned to hard labor work on our side of track escaped. El constable is seeking el barrio and Westside resident for their assistances in capturing three black men, five Anglos men and who knows what they were. If you know anything about them or seem then there is a small reward for any information leading to their arrest.
La commadre Jane J. Jimenez, age 75, was the most happiest person en el barrio when she was presented her acceptance letter to the barrios higher education center. El senor Manuel Martinez, the director of the center tells us que Jane was the oldest person that they had every accepted to continue her education after high school. We had to wavier her application just for mere fact, que she wanted to continue her education. You see it took Jane more than five decades to get that GED. And now she is really proud of this achievement. The only problem we can see says Mr. Martinez, let see how long it will take for her to get her college degree.
And finally, el amigo Pancho trinity Munoz was arrested this weekend at the Westinghouse barrio mall when he entered the educational mobile home wanting to give blood. It seems that Mr. Munoz thought that the educational mobile was the blood mobile and he was determining to give blood. The educational mobile staff asked Mr. Munoz that he had to leave since he was not there seeking information on higher education. El constable cadena was called to the scene where he found Munoz drunker than a skunk and smelled like pee, sitting outside in line with a few beers in his coat pocket. He was arrested for public borracho and smelling like shit.

Well there you have it raza, time to go and take a bath, and please have a great day.

Friday, February 19, 2010

barrio stock market report for 02192010

Barrio stock market report for 02192010.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello como estan I am Francisco pancho lopez sittng in for urbano yosabatodo con today’s barrio stock market. Well well I see lots of income tax refunds coming in. what does this all mean? It really means que we got money to spend on shit we don’t need.
Now let’s get to that report.
Las empanadas remain stable at $.89 cent each this week.
Los taquitos up a another notch $1.30 each, coffee is extra.
Las tortillas for this week: corn up a bit $1.35 a dozen. Flour up a whole lot $1.65 a pack.
Los tamales end the week at the near to the lowest this year $6.00 a dozen.
Cheap beer ain’t too cheap but went down a bit, ended the week at $5.00 a six pack.
Barbacoba de cabeca $6.50 a lb. Llama $2.50 a lb. remain stable.

Barrio want ads:
#56287: used computers for sale, don’t really know what’s wrong with them, make offer for 10 of them.
#4578: giant mirrors and a few small ones for sale. Came from a stripe bar, also ten foot pole. Make an offer for mirrors. The pole is extra and you have to remove it for the ceiling that came with it.
# 5684: still looking for move in maiden, will provide French outfit that comes con the deal. Must be willing to stay overnight.
#9890: twenty pounds of feathers for sale. Once belonged to famous tejana singer. Make offer for all the feathers.
#7865: eight chickens, ten ducks, two hens, three small pet rats, nine Easter rabbits, and a few little animals that we really don’t know what they are for sale. All in good health for exception of the the few. Make offer, will deliver within two blocks.

Barrio realtors report:
The corner of wells and third has moved to the corner once known as eigth and Kleberg street. Anyone living along those street must contact your barrio representatives for more information on how to get your mail.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

hejola report for 02182010

hejola report for week 02182010.
CCHWNN.
Kingsville, tx. Hello once again raza como estan, I am bill diaz. Well we are almost at the end of this month. A few announcements we have to share with you, we are still waiting for some great interviews to come back to us. So be looking for that. Now for the barrio headline news:
Final comments on ‘hey cowboy ‘ a gay cowboy movie. By veronica Lebanese’s,
This year’s recycle cans are lower than last years at this time , need your help!
And new barrio leaders call for unity from all the hoods in the hood.
‘Hey cowboy: Special investigation con Veronica Lebanese’s,
Si Como estan todos, oh my, oh my girl, are we ready for some darn good investigating reporting on my part. First of all, my report is a spin off from that cowboy movie; yea that’s one about the queer or gay vato's dressed like cowboys. Now before you delete me from anywhere, lets really talk about it like real adults, yes, men and men, women y women and so on. I am sure que what I will report is nothing new news but old news to many of us that love to heard all sorts of news. Come on.
Our main concern is what is this movie going to do to los compadres who love to look like cowboys and and what is it going to do for the western wear economy? Well I ask what do you think?
Can you real take a real cowboy to this movie with you? Come on, can you? If you are old school it’s the modern day-midnight cowboy into the future. Pero con real cowboys. Hejola.
So vato the next time que you go to that tejano bar y dress in that little cowboy outfit que you like, be very careful, somebody is watching you, now back to Bill.
Wow what a great story veronica, now in other news,
Los vato locos volunteer fire fighters announced today que they were several pounds short of meeting this year’s recycle cans goals. As you might already know this will be our ninth year barrio Easter recycle can hunt. This is where we go out and hind cans so children can learn about recycling. Organizers tell us que in order to make it happen we need your cans. If you are interested in donating cans, You can leave your Cans or you can be dropped off at our community center where it says drop cans here if you can reach the drop door.
And finally, a new barrio leaders call for unity from all the hoods in the hood. It seems que estos new elected barrio representatives are for real and going to do something for our hood. Great job raza. Since election time is just around the corner make sure an vote. I am bill diaz for cchwnn.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

e

exclusive interview con David Lee Garza


Cchwnn; exclusive interview con David Lee Garza.
Somewhere in Poteet, Tx.
Hello again I am Blanca Blanch Blanco with one of the most important interview, I have ever been assigned to do, and believe me I have been assigned to do many. But today is a very special interview con the man himself, the man of the hour Mr. David Lee Garza.
BBB; gee Mr. Garza we want to thank you for allowing us to do this interview?

DLG: Not a problem

BBB: You know David if you don’t mind me calling you David?

DLG: Thats cool
BBB: well Mr. Garza after listening to your music for several years now it’s safe to say that you have almost seen everything that could happen to a band, can you share some moments that you might recall that makes you stay in this business this long?

DLG: What i like about what we do is that every now and then a fan will come up to me and say that because of our music or a song they got married.

BBB: your music career has really open the door to a whole lot of male vocals that have gone on their own, does that bother you in which having to keep on looking for lead vocals for your band?

DLG: It was kinda hard at first but after 2 or 3 vocalist came and went we learned real quick that it was a tuff business, but at the same time bringing a new voice into the band was a shot in the arm and the fans were looking forward to it as well.

BBB: besides your great music career, you have done lots of community work in your home town, what are your expectations for future in that area? (outside the music career)

DLG: Being a small town not to many things change around here just faces so its really hard to say what the future brings.

BBB: we know that you do have children, what are their musical plans and future if any in the music business?

DLG: Our kids are very talented but seem to want to do something else for a living and we respect that.

BBB: during your music career we read that one of your best year, I am sure there has been many, but in 1998 you had a crossover blend of music sound de tejano and norteno style. Have this two combinations of style re- directed your concept of what tejano music today?

DLG: No not really Tejano to us is just feel. We tried different sounds and its funny but you seem to allways go back to something you have allready done but to our fans its a fresh sound.

BBB: after reading about you’re successful musical career, what have been some of the difficulties in establish a base for your style of music, such as producing and arranging your style?
DLG: I have to admitt that we are older and the thinking cap isnt what it use to be so we ask our producer/engineer to help us on the arranging even though some of us still have some pretty good ideas.

BBB: David we have seen lots of your postings on a web sites, just to name one, Tejano journal , with this in mind there has been lots of discussions concerning the status of tejano music and its industry, and that we are not progressing, what is your stand on this matter?

DLG: Times change and to the young generation what we call Tejano music is old school, but the young generation is gonna get old some day and they will fall right back to our Tejano music. So are we progressing i say yes thats all we can do is progress.

BBB: after a few employees here at our command post sir are wondering when in the world are you coming to perform in Kingsville,tx?

DLG: Whenever we can get a date we will do our best to go cause we know we have lots of fans that follow us to other citys and towns.

BBB: David if you were giving the opportunity to speak to a thousand high school students what would you tell ?

DGL: ITS DLG: Study hard and be somebody. Make a difference in our world.

BBB: again MR. Garza it has been an honor to have walked all the way here to poteet and have this opportunity to have conducted this interview , we want to thank you for taking time from your real busy schedule to me with me?

DGL: Its DLG: No thank you from taking the walk and if you want i can give you a ride back home.

BBB: well raza there you have it a living legend in his own time, and a man that has influenced thousands of young men and women en la onda tejano and darn proud to have done this interview , and I want to thank our creator for setting this up, I am Blanca Blanch Blanco and keep it tejano.

Monday, February 15, 2010

hejola report for 02162010

Hejolia report for 02162010.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,t x. Now that man que the IRS is looking for and has a way not to pay child support, here is our own vato of the year David duran.
Heaveno raza, well I am back from a small vacation we took south of the local checkpoint. And is there traffic or what and gas is some expensive que we almost didn’t make it back con $5.00 of gas. Thank god que we got the gas mixed up con diesel que the storeowner blame it on his poor staff attendent. Yea right. Anyhow we made it home and now con the today’s award winning headline news:
Dos commaders say que a car almost hit them while they walked.
A homeless gringo picked up for asking for donations at the Westinghouse barrio mall.
And finally a child exchange went badly.
Yesterday afternoon a child exchange went badly at the constables office lobby when la commadre Christina Nunez berated the dad, Alfonso Della Cruz Martinez, about non-payment of child support payments. While the constable tried to tell her that conversation was over con su ex-husband, but she continued with the "harsh and argumentative" line of inquiry. Both el senior Della Cruz and child waited elsewhere at the constable’s office for her to clear the lobby before they left. Christina was escorted to the other side of the tracks by the constable.
A few moments later, the constable got a call from la commadre Sonya who said that as she and a friend Norma Garza were walking down wells street, que a car swerved at them, trying to run the two down. Both woman la commadre Sonya y su friend Norma Garza were able to identified the driver who met the description of Christina Nunez, yes the same woman who had been escorted to the other side of the tracks by el constable cadena. An arrest warrant has been issued for this woman. El barrio is again asked for their help in finding this disarrayed woman. If you know the where about of this woman, Please call el constable cadenas officer or just dial 811.
And finally A gringo man huddled in front of the Westinghouse barrio mall, asking that "donations" be placed in a cup. Was arrested for falsely asking for donation. The cup said for his education. It seemed que the man, James Wilcox or Dr. Wilcox was released after he had been arrested for asking for donation to pay for his education. Since he already had a dr. degree and had suffered a nervous breakdown a few years later, and lately has the habit of repeating mathematical formulas out loud and and sharing them con the general public. He was taken back to the other side of the track and was admitted to lalala home for lalala people.

Well folks thank god que I already live in alalalala land. I am David duran for our 1978 ford whatever and remember
“ Your business is our business and my business is none of your business”.