ejola birthday report for 09292011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, tx. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news. But for right now, our creator Daniel Lopez has just stepped into the golden years as one young woman at the age of 64 calls it. I am not sure our creator is ready to set into this illusion, but it has a certain sensation that is a bit artificial and could play trick with his poor little mind that is always living in a state of figment of his imagination. But for now let’s get to that darn report:
Six things that could happen on your birthday.
60 year old Birthday party gone wrong.
And finally, 60 year old arrested in his birthday suit.
Jimmy Gonzales Munoz was arrested late last night at the corner bar for walking around naked. It seems que ole Jimmy boy got so drunk at the bar que he thought he was home and started to take his clothes off as he walked towards the bar bathroom. By the time he came of the public bar he hadn’t realize que he had removed all his clothing. That’s when a bunch of customers inside the bar threw his hairy naked ass out the door and into the city where a group of Jehovah’s witness were waiting for the city bus. They notice the naked man, and then call the cops on him. While they were waiting for the law dogs, the Jehovahs’ covered him with some of their hand outs enough to cover his private parts. Munoz was arrested and taken to jail.
Yesterday las commadres y some compadres pitched in to hire a stripper or someone for el compadres 60’s year birthday party. Now please understand el compadres is a modest man, hard worker and has been faithful for as long as we known him to be. So la commadre Ester Hummer Suckyourtoes agreed to do this charming thing, where she would pop out of a giant box designed to look like a cake. Well when all the party goers got there and were all under the family car port, they tried to wheel in the giant cake, when all of sudden the dam thing tipped over and fell on top of the table were all the goodies were causing a chain reaction of destruction. The bottom line is the birthday cake flew in the air and landed on top of el compadre’s head, cause a small fire on top of his head from the 60 candles that were lid up. La commadre Suckyourtoes suffered a major head injury, requiring emergency care. It took them about one hour to pull her out of that giant box she was in. charges are pending. Oh by the way the party ended right after that without opening his only present, which was the giant box designed as a cake. Chinga
And finally, a local author, Ted Nopal told us que he had come up con six things that could happen on your birthday:
1. You get home from work and find a booger on your shirt that must have been there all day.
2. You spot a dead thing on the middle the road and you run over it again, resulting in a flat tire.
3. You are forced to use Microsoft Windows version 2001.
4. You pick up your laundry find out you pick up the wrong dyer.
5. You get a giant zit on your face after you swallowed some chewing tobacco.
6. You pay for sex with a check and then she asks you if you can cash it.
Ok raza have a great day.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Hejola birthday report for 09292011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, tx. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news. But for right now, our creator Daniel Lopez has just stepped into the golden years as one young woman at the age of 64 calls it. I am not sure our creator is ready to set into this illusion, but it has a certain sensation that is a bit artificial and could play trick with his poor little mind that is always living in a state of figment of his imagination. But for now let’s get to that darn report:
Six things that could happen on your birthday?
Three birthday things you really want for your birthday.
60 year old Birthday party gone wrong.
And finally, 60 year old arrested in his birthday suit.
Jimmy Gonzales Munoz was arrested late last night at the corner bar for walking around naked. It seems que ole Jimmy boy got so drunk at the bar que he thought he was home and started to take his clothes off as he walked towards the bar bathroom. By the time he came of the public bar he hadn’t realize que he had removed all his clothing. That’s when a bunch of customers inside the bar threw his hairy naked ass out the door and into the city where a group of Jehovah’s witness were waiting for the city bus. They notice the naked man, and then call the cops on him. While they were waiting for the law dogs, the Jehovahs’ covered him with some of their hand outs enough to cover his private parts. Munoz was arrested and taken to jail.
Yesterday las commadres y some compadres pitched in to hire a stripper or someone for el compadres 60’s year birthday party. Now please understand el compadres is a modest man, hard worker and has been faithful for as long as we known him to be. So la commadre Ester Hummer Suckyourtoes agreed to do this charming thing, where she would pop out of a giant box designed to look like a cake. Well when all the party goers got there and were all under the family car port, they tried to wheel in the giant cake, when all of sudden the dam thing tipped over and fell on top of the table were all the goodies were causing a chain reaction of destruction. The bottom line is the birthday cake flew in the air and landed on top of el compadre’s head, cause a small fire on top of his head from the 60 candles that were lid up. La commadre Suckyourtoes suffered a major head injury, requiring emergency care. It took them about one hour to pull her out of that giant box she was in. charges are pending. Oh by the way the party ended right after that without opening his only present, which was the giant box designed as a cake. Chinga
And finally, a local author, Ted Nopal told us que he had come up con six things that could happen on your birthday:
1. You get home from work and find a booger on your shirt that must have been there all day.
2. You spot a dead thing on the middle the road and you run over it again, resulting in a flat tire.
3. You are forced to use Microsoft Windows version 2001.
4. You pick up your laundry find out you pick up the wrong dyer.
5. You get a giant zit on your face after you swallowed some chewing tobacco.
6. You pay for sex with a check and then she asks you if you can cash it.
Ok raza have a great day.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, tx. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news. But for right now, our creator Daniel Lopez has just stepped into the golden years as one young woman at the age of 64 calls it. I am not sure our creator is ready to set into this illusion, but it has a certain sensation that is a bit artificial and could play trick with his poor little mind that is always living in a state of figment of his imagination. But for now let’s get to that darn report:
Six things that could happen on your birthday?
Three birthday things you really want for your birthday.
60 year old Birthday party gone wrong.
And finally, 60 year old arrested in his birthday suit.
Jimmy Gonzales Munoz was arrested late last night at the corner bar for walking around naked. It seems que ole Jimmy boy got so drunk at the bar que he thought he was home and started to take his clothes off as he walked towards the bar bathroom. By the time he came of the public bar he hadn’t realize que he had removed all his clothing. That’s when a bunch of customers inside the bar threw his hairy naked ass out the door and into the city where a group of Jehovah’s witness were waiting for the city bus. They notice the naked man, and then call the cops on him. While they were waiting for the law dogs, the Jehovahs’ covered him with some of their hand outs enough to cover his private parts. Munoz was arrested and taken to jail.
Yesterday las commadres y some compadres pitched in to hire a stripper or someone for el compadres 60’s year birthday party. Now please understand el compadres is a modest man, hard worker and has been faithful for as long as we known him to be. So la commadre Ester Hummer Suckyourtoes agreed to do this charming thing, where she would pop out of a giant box designed to look like a cake. Well when all the party goers got there and were all under the family car port, they tried to wheel in the giant cake, when all of sudden the dam thing tipped over and fell on top of the table were all the goodies were causing a chain reaction of destruction. The bottom line is the birthday cake flew in the air and landed on top of el compadre’s head, cause a small fire on top of his head from the 60 candles that were lid up. La commadre Suckyourtoes suffered a major head injury, requiring emergency care. It took them about one hour to pull her out of that giant box she was in. charges are pending. Oh by the way the party ended right after that without opening his only present, which was the giant box designed as a cake. Chinga
And finally, a local author, Ted Nopal told us que he had come up con six things that could happen on your birthday:
1. You get home from work and find a booger on your shirt that must have been there all day.
2. You spot a dead thing on the middle the road and you run over it again, resulting in a flat tire.
3. You are forced to use Microsoft Windows version 2001.
4. You pick up your laundry find out you pick up the wrong dyer.
5. You get a giant zit on your face after you swallowed some chewing tobacco.
6. You pay for sex with a check and then she asks you if you can cash it.
Ok raza have a great day.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
hejola report for 09282011
Hejola report for 09282011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, TX. Hello again sport fans, I am Frankie tuxedo Zuniga con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Pedro Gomez indicted.
Barrio task force 666 officer fired.
And finally barrio resident arrested and fined.
Lisa Vela was arrested after she had passed out inside the Westinghouse barrio mall when she was discovered stealing women’s underwear. When confronted by mall security guards, she boo-boo-poo-poo in her pants and passed out. Charges will be filed. Oh by the way she will be required to come and clean up the chit she left behind.
In other news, Yesterday el constable told a group of concern citizens’ que Juanita Luna, better known as Deputy barrio Dog Luna, was fired for quietly after he adding barrio residents to a barrio hot check list. El constable told us que esta vato was pissed off at all his present and past girlfriends que he took it on his own to list them on a barrio wachata list for hot checks. All 18 women were present at this public hearing. No charges will be filed but he is on the list for hot checks. Pesse hejola.
Yesterday afternoon was a very sad day for a barrio man, Pedro Gomez, age 75, indicted for robbery a barrio liquor store located at the corner of third and wells. His indictment was not so much for the robbery of the barrio liquor store but for the chase he put on afterward. When he was caught he was covered in blue and white dye from where the owners of the liquor store threw Easter egg dye at him as he fled the store. The constable told us que he was giving Gomez some style points for the run, where he managed to hold on to his beer in his hand during the entire chase.
Ok raza got to go and do some action Jackson..
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, TX. Hello again sport fans, I am Frankie tuxedo Zuniga con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Pedro Gomez indicted.
Barrio task force 666 officer fired.
And finally barrio resident arrested and fined.
Lisa Vela was arrested after she had passed out inside the Westinghouse barrio mall when she was discovered stealing women’s underwear. When confronted by mall security guards, she boo-boo-poo-poo in her pants and passed out. Charges will be filed. Oh by the way she will be required to come and clean up the chit she left behind.
In other news, Yesterday el constable told a group of concern citizens’ que Juanita Luna, better known as Deputy barrio Dog Luna, was fired for quietly after he adding barrio residents to a barrio hot check list. El constable told us que esta vato was pissed off at all his present and past girlfriends que he took it on his own to list them on a barrio wachata list for hot checks. All 18 women were present at this public hearing. No charges will be filed but he is on the list for hot checks. Pesse hejola.
Yesterday afternoon was a very sad day for a barrio man, Pedro Gomez, age 75, indicted for robbery a barrio liquor store located at the corner of third and wells. His indictment was not so much for the robbery of the barrio liquor store but for the chase he put on afterward. When he was caught he was covered in blue and white dye from where the owners of the liquor store threw Easter egg dye at him as he fled the store. The constable told us que he was giving Gomez some style points for the run, where he managed to hold on to his beer in his hand during the entire chase.
Ok raza got to go and do some action Jackson..
dancing con el barrio competicion 2011
update con dancing con el barrio competiciion 2011 better known here in the hood dancing con la comadre first round results..
the first group to go is:
2. Lil red conjunto artist dancing con Johnnie el quemon barrio economics. were voted out... \
more to come. keep it tejano raza.
Verocina la lesbian “dancing con el barrio competición 2011”.
08312011.
Cchwnn.
Westinghouse barrio mall center stage: hello my name is Gloria Guerra with our new barrio reality series “dancing con el barrio competicion”, hosted by our very own Verocina la lesbian.
Thank you Gloria I am your women’s nightmare Verocina la Lesbian con our barrio reality series dancing con el barrio competicion 2011. The main issue was selecting the barrio members to participant con this event. So the creator gave it lots of thinking and decided to asking barrio leaders, conjunto artist, business persons, and a whole lot of others will to dance. So here is our lineup for this seasons’ dancing con el barrio competicion 2011:
Five couples will be competing this season, and the couples names are:
1. El constable cadena dancing con Gloria Guerra mall manager.
2. Lil red conjunto artist dancing con Johnnie el quemon barrio economics.
3. Alcardio Samudio cchwnn correspondent dancing con Maria la bandia alley
reporter and director of barrio news network.
4. Santa Cecilia on the road reporter dancing con El mojado Moreno martinez, del groupo los chellos del norte.
5. El ojo barrio private dancing con Alma Rein del conjunto las tres feyas del valle.
Please stay tune for the first round and all the updates dealing with this years dancing con el barrio competicion 2011.
the first group to go is:
2. Lil red conjunto artist dancing con Johnnie el quemon barrio economics. were voted out... \
more to come. keep it tejano raza.
Verocina la lesbian “dancing con el barrio competición 2011”.
08312011.
Cchwnn.
Westinghouse barrio mall center stage: hello my name is Gloria Guerra with our new barrio reality series “dancing con el barrio competicion”, hosted by our very own Verocina la lesbian.
Thank you Gloria I am your women’s nightmare Verocina la Lesbian con our barrio reality series dancing con el barrio competicion 2011. The main issue was selecting the barrio members to participant con this event. So the creator gave it lots of thinking and decided to asking barrio leaders, conjunto artist, business persons, and a whole lot of others will to dance. So here is our lineup for this seasons’ dancing con el barrio competicion 2011:
Five couples will be competing this season, and the couples names are:
1. El constable cadena dancing con Gloria Guerra mall manager.
2. Lil red conjunto artist dancing con Johnnie el quemon barrio economics.
3. Alcardio Samudio cchwnn correspondent dancing con Maria la bandia alley
reporter and director of barrio news network.
4. Santa Cecilia on the road reporter dancing con El mojado Moreno martinez, del groupo los chellos del norte.
5. El ojo barrio private dancing con Alma Rein del conjunto las tres feyas del valle.
Please stay tune for the first round and all the updates dealing with this years dancing con el barrio competicion 2011.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
hejola report for 09272011
Hejola report for 09272011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, TX. Hello again, I am Maria la Vandia con today’s award winning barrio headline news. Today we found it very interesting on how children’s nursery rhymes found their way into our award winning barrio headline news.
Little jack Horner busted.
Snow white and her seven sons arrested.
And Jack be limbo breaks both legs.
Little Jack Horner Morales got busted somewhere along third street, when el constable pulled him over for overloading his small automobile con 250 chickens . When they asked him where he got all those chickens, he reply que he was just sitting in a corner, eating his morning taquito, when low and behold all them chickens walk right by him. He said, “ que he was only able to catch 250 of them and had nowhere else to put them but inside his small compact car”. Some kind of charges will be filed, but the constable hasn’t determined what they are, or who the chickens belong too.
Nieve Blanca, better known in the hood as snow white, was arrested yesterday at her home along con su seven children who intervene when el constable was trying to serve a warrant for her arrest. It seems que Nieve never shown up for court , after she had been accused of providing her seven sons with some stolen x rated movies and kinky clothing. The oldest of her sons, Shorty, age 37, couldn’t see why they wouldn’t have ask her to come along instead of dragging her out of the house and shooting her twice con a stun gun. All seven sons were arrested while trying to free their mother from this brutal attack on her. Charges will be filed against Shorty, age 37, Marty, age 35, Skinny, age 33, Chump, age 29, Humpy, age 27, hazily, age 23, and Little Willie, age 5 and of course Snow white.
And finally, Jack Luna, better known as Jack be limbo, a name given to him when he was a kid, broke both of his legs, late last night when he rode his bicycle along third street to see what all the commotions was about at the Blanca home. While looking to see what was going on he drove his bicycle right into el constable parked car and broke both legs, crushing them on the back side of the car. Charges will be filed against him says el constable, “That’s what he gets for getting involve in chit that don’t matter to him”.
Ok raza keep up the good work and remember que keep it tejano.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, TX. Hello again, I am Maria la Vandia con today’s award winning barrio headline news. Today we found it very interesting on how children’s nursery rhymes found their way into our award winning barrio headline news.
Little jack Horner busted.
Snow white and her seven sons arrested.
And Jack be limbo breaks both legs.
Little Jack Horner Morales got busted somewhere along third street, when el constable pulled him over for overloading his small automobile con 250 chickens . When they asked him where he got all those chickens, he reply que he was just sitting in a corner, eating his morning taquito, when low and behold all them chickens walk right by him. He said, “ que he was only able to catch 250 of them and had nowhere else to put them but inside his small compact car”. Some kind of charges will be filed, but the constable hasn’t determined what they are, or who the chickens belong too.
Nieve Blanca, better known in the hood as snow white, was arrested yesterday at her home along con su seven children who intervene when el constable was trying to serve a warrant for her arrest. It seems que Nieve never shown up for court , after she had been accused of providing her seven sons with some stolen x rated movies and kinky clothing. The oldest of her sons, Shorty, age 37, couldn’t see why they wouldn’t have ask her to come along instead of dragging her out of the house and shooting her twice con a stun gun. All seven sons were arrested while trying to free their mother from this brutal attack on her. Charges will be filed against Shorty, age 37, Marty, age 35, Skinny, age 33, Chump, age 29, Humpy, age 27, hazily, age 23, and Little Willie, age 5 and of course Snow white.
And finally, Jack Luna, better known as Jack be limbo, a name given to him when he was a kid, broke both of his legs, late last night when he rode his bicycle along third street to see what all the commotions was about at the Blanca home. While looking to see what was going on he drove his bicycle right into el constable parked car and broke both legs, crushing them on the back side of the car. Charges will be filed against him says el constable, “That’s what he gets for getting involve in chit that don’t matter to him”.
Ok raza keep up the good work and remember que keep it tejano.
Monday, September 26, 2011
hejola report for 09262011
Hejola report for 09262011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again, I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Vato goes crazy, and beats up his mother’s mother.
Robbing a 7 year old girl turn bad.
And finally barrio man confronted after burglary
The three men from our side of the tracks, must have not been thinking, when the confronted a 7 year old girl, and asked her for all her money. Them didn’t know that Lil Robin Hernandez, barrio karate and judo champ, defended herself when she tried to hand them over the money she was able to pull off some self defense moves, injuring all three men. Charges will not be filed against her but the three men will have to go to court.
Bob Mora, who is not well, was sentenced to 45 days jail time for beating up his mother’s, mother. The argument started when she asked him for a favor, but instead he yanked out her dentures, and took off on his tricycle and while trying to put them on, they fell out of his mouth and he ran them over his tricycle. Oh by the way the family, Mora is asking for your help in locating some of the missing teeth.
David Nelson Diaz, was arrested and charged with burglary this past weekend when he broke into a home somewhere around third and wells, and took a bath. Daiz did not realize que the owners of the home, la familia Bonito, was in another part of their home and came with is two killer dogs and a gun, when he confronted Diaz through the closed bathroom door, Diaz called 918, fearing for his life, urged the constable to come over as fast as he could and arrest him. Charges will be filed.
Ok raza got to go and do some work.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again, I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Vato goes crazy, and beats up his mother’s mother.
Robbing a 7 year old girl turn bad.
And finally barrio man confronted after burglary
The three men from our side of the tracks, must have not been thinking, when the confronted a 7 year old girl, and asked her for all her money. Them didn’t know that Lil Robin Hernandez, barrio karate and judo champ, defended herself when she tried to hand them over the money she was able to pull off some self defense moves, injuring all three men. Charges will not be filed against her but the three men will have to go to court.
Bob Mora, who is not well, was sentenced to 45 days jail time for beating up his mother’s, mother. The argument started when she asked him for a favor, but instead he yanked out her dentures, and took off on his tricycle and while trying to put them on, they fell out of his mouth and he ran them over his tricycle. Oh by the way the family, Mora is asking for your help in locating some of the missing teeth.
David Nelson Diaz, was arrested and charged with burglary this past weekend when he broke into a home somewhere around third and wells, and took a bath. Daiz did not realize que the owners of the home, la familia Bonito, was in another part of their home and came with is two killer dogs and a gun, when he confronted Diaz through the closed bathroom door, Diaz called 918, fearing for his life, urged the constable to come over as fast as he could and arrest him. Charges will be filed.
Ok raza got to go and do some work.
hejola report for 09262011
Hejola report for 09262011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again, I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Vato goes crazy, and beats up his mother’s mother.
Robbing a 7 year old girl turn bad.
And finally barrio man confronted after burglary
The three men from our side of the tracks, must have not been thinking, when the confronted a 7 year old girl, and asked her for all her money. Them didn’t know that Lil Robin Hernandez, barrio karate and judo champ, defended herself when she tried to hand them over the money she was able to pull off some self defense moves, injuring all three men. Charges will not be filed against her but the three men will have to go to court.
Bob Mora, who is not well, was sentenced to 45 days jail time for beating up his mother’s, mother. The argument started when she asked him for a favor, but instead he yanked out her dentures, and took off on his tricycle and while trying to put them on, they fell out of his mouth and he ran them over his tricycle. Oh by the way the family, Mora is asking for your help in locating some of the missing teeth.
David Nelson Diaz, was arrested and charged with burglary this past weekend when he broke into a home somewhere around third and wells, and took a bath. Daiz did not realize que the owners of the home, la familia Bonito, was in another part of their home and came with is two killer dogs and a gun, when he confronted Diaz through the closed bathroom door, Diaz called 918, fearing for his life, urged the constable to come over as fast as he could and arrest him. Charges will be filed.
Ok raza got to go and do some work.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again, I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Vato goes crazy, and beats up his mother’s mother.
Robbing a 7 year old girl turn bad.
And finally barrio man confronted after burglary
The three men from our side of the tracks, must have not been thinking, when the confronted a 7 year old girl, and asked her for all her money. Them didn’t know that Lil Robin Hernandez, barrio karate and judo champ, defended herself when she tried to hand them over the money she was able to pull off some self defense moves, injuring all three men. Charges will not be filed against her but the three men will have to go to court.
Bob Mora, who is not well, was sentenced to 45 days jail time for beating up his mother’s, mother. The argument started when she asked him for a favor, but instead he yanked out her dentures, and took off on his tricycle and while trying to put them on, they fell out of his mouth and he ran them over his tricycle. Oh by the way the family, Mora is asking for your help in locating some of the missing teeth.
David Nelson Diaz, was arrested and charged with burglary this past weekend when he broke into a home somewhere around third and wells, and took a bath. Daiz did not realize que the owners of the home, la familia Bonito, was in another part of their home and came with is two killer dogs and a gun, when he confronted Diaz through the closed bathroom door, Diaz called 918, fearing for his life, urged the constable to come over as fast as he could and arrest him. Charges will be filed.
Ok raza got to go and do some work.
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