Hejola report for 05212013.

Cchwnn:

 

Hello once again mi raza como estant todos. We have lots to cover this morning, so lets get to our barrio headline news:

 

Barrio education suffers serious wounds,

Pincha vato tries to rob barrio cellular phone shop.

And finally la commadre Susie arrested for hiring a hit man.

 

Yesterday we found out que el constable cadena y some real cops from across the tracks have come over to the Westside to arrest maria perez and charged her con hiring a hit man to help her try and kill six person, so she could steal a brick of cocaine. But in turn it turned out to be “barrios mama luz queso fresco cheese” .

According to el constable, ms. Perez had peeped inside this folks window and saw this large block of crubly, white, barrio-cuisine cheese on their kitchen table and thought it was a big pile of cocaine. The report says que she had plotted to return that evening and kill anyone in the home old enough to testify against her. pesse hejola.

 

In other news, Jimmy smithwick, a barrio educator, having return from the war with a paperweight he found there. Mr smithwick was hospitalized at the st. paul’s medical center here at the Westinghouse barrio mall with severe burns and shrapnel wounds, and lost part of his left hand, when he try to smash a cockroach with a his newly found paperweight on his desk. The some called paperweight was a 40 mm artillery shell, unknown to mr smithwick, was still alive. Mr smithwick was also charged with the endangerment of his students. Oh by the way mr smithwick was rushed to a real hospital after the folks at the st pauls medical center couldn’t do not for him here.

 

And finally, el constable again is asking barrio members for its help in finding el vato who tried to burglarize the only barrio cellular phone shop sometime last night. The store owner Max soso Chonz, told us que the dude que whoa trya roba oura storea trieda toa shoota opena thea doorsa locka , buta ita seema que thea bulleta ricocheteda anda hita thea mana ina thea chesta, knockinga hima downa. Mr. chonz also told us que he was sure que the bullet likely did not break the skin but said que probablya startlinga anda painfula, alsoa quea thisa mana vomiteda ata thea scenea beforea hea fleda.  So the constable is asking anyone in the hood for information leading to who did this crime. There is a small reward being offered.

 

Well raza there you have it for today.