Hejola report for 02092012.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hi bill diaz here con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
The world is ending arrested.
The same old song at the same old place.
And finally, barrio tejanos protest our report.
Yesterday a ton of folks, 3 big women, 2 large men, 7 cats, 34 dogs, and a few roaches were protesting our barrio command post on how awful our posting have been about tejano movement and its leaders. Our leader told the ton of folks que we can only write what we see and we couldn’t make chit up if we wanted to. Look tejano’s are doing a dam good job all by themselves on explaining the present problem con la onda and not being recognized but major outlets. Once our creator spoke and gave out some refreshments the protestors left the area in disarray.  
Yesterday another handful of tejano’s told another group of tejanos that we were at a standstill con the movement of tejano industry and its future. A few persons present at the meeting were more concern con the refreshments and the free entertainment being offered. Once the music died down and drank all the diet drinks many of the tejano’s left the meeting. The organizers told us que they were happy with the turn out and more impress on how all the refreshments were gone before the meeting ended. We have lots of big ideas that we want to share with no one, says one of the tejano’s present at the meeting. We asked that tejano how are we suppose to know the ideas you have if you don’t share them? They responded by saying that’s their problem. Ok.
Yesterday a handful of want to be tejano fans were arrested after they printed out more than three leaflets telling tejano fans que the world was coming to an end. After el constable along con some medical staff from lalaland arrested that handful of tejano’s with false accusation and were shipped off to the lalala home across the tracks. The constable tells us que a the only world that is going to end is your world when you die.
Ok raza, tejano’s , gringitos, amigos, vatos, esa have a great tejano day if you can. Hug a tejano fan.

वेस्तिन्घोउसे बर्रियो माल नेव्स्लेत्टर फॉर 02082012

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 02082012.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, tx. Gloria Guerra here with our mall newsletter. There is some good news and a lot of bad news. So which one would you want to hear first?
Let’s go with the good news, its always good to start the day with good news. And for that good news here is our good news person Maria la Vandia.
Si Maria con some good news. It rain more than three inches of rain here the last three days, making all the barrio gardeners very happy. This year’s barrio corps could mean a better year for all those taco stands that purchase there vegetables from them. That’s the good news.
Ok maria thanks again for that good news, now let’s go to Johnnie el quemon con the bad news.
Si Gloria there is always bad news in the hood regardless how much good news we got. You know many can turn things around if they are going the wrong way and that could be the case con the increase on the price on everything. You name it, it has gone up. Ok , name some else, well that’s gone up too. So as you notice that everything that could be good for us has gone up and for sure will never come down. The only thing I know that goes up and down, besides my wife, is the price of gasoline, that’s always going up and down. I am johnnie el quemon.

Alright thanks for all that good and bad news. But the real good news it that this coming weekend we will be having our BARRIO MUSIC AWARDS FOR 2012, so if you are in the area, make sure a drop by the mall and get to visit with this years winners.

Ok raza got to go and rock it up… Gloria Guerra, have a great tejano day.

hejola report for 02072012

Hejolia report for 02072012.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello raza I am bill diaz and glad to be back. An now our award winning barrio headline news:

Campaign funds come to sag for barrio candidate.
Drug round up comes up short.
And finally, tejano dance ends with big fight.
Right before the third intermission some of the tejano fans at the only tejano gay bar, two tons of fun, were upset with the house band for taking some many breaks. Dang man, says John Deleon Gomez, how many breaks them dudes going to take. A fight broke out when one of the customers threw a plastic blue bottle at one of the band members that caused the whole place to explode into a big fight. Tables and chairs and bottles and boots and shoes, and some lemons were thrown among the folks. A shit load of folks were arrested along con ten band members.

El constable along con some cops from across the tracks tried to round up as many drug dealer, users, thinkers, athletic supporters, womanizers, taco eaters, beer drinkers, chickens, dogs, cats, and anything that looked illegal. Heck says one barrio resident that they even tried to take my house for sale sign. All and all at least twenty persons and things were taken in for questioning. El constable told us que them dudes will be back.

Yesterday Esta Vato loco campaign drives came to sag when it was found out that some of the funds he had received were donations from recycle cans that were stolen a few years back. The barrio election commission told this reported that the funds were sold as stolen items. Most of the money has been returned for expect $25.00 dollars still not accounted for. ESTA VATO LOCO told a crowd of his supporters que onda con la lana, hey raza don’t make me look bad, I don’t need any help .
Ok tejanos time to go and make some honey babe..

super bowl conspiracy 2012

Super bowl conspiracy 2012.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello Frankie tuxedo Zuniga, super bowl conspiracy, 2012.
Don’t you think que a professional quarterback who knows better who have taken a dive with the first play of the game in this past 2012 super bowl. Many here in the hood lost chingos de money on that one freaky play. Yea that’s right on that one freaking play you know how many lost and how many more won money on that play. We are going to investigate this matter by sending our own private el ojo barrio private to do the number count and check to see if that quarterback did take a dive. Huh. It makes you wonder, how that could be done on such an important game and time? We want to know.

hejola report for 02062012

Hejola report for 02062012.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, tx. Hello Frankie tuxedo Zuniga con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Chingo de chingaso after super bowl party.
La commadre wins barrio super bowl football pot.
And finally, just say no.

Yesterday at the corner of third and wells a group of men and women and some dogs and cats, gather to protest this year’s super bowl advertising spots. They claim que they showed too much skin, abused dogs, and did lots of drinking from some blue bottle. The group leader, told us que this type of advertising just spoils the children and men and women relationships. Look how many men and women do we know that look like them folks on the tv advertising? Maybe just one, the dog. No charges will be filed for blocking the traffic for about two hours. Oh by the way about three cars were effect by this standoff.
All right, la commadre Nancy Garza was this year’s barrio super bowl football pot winner when she predicted, the right finally score for yesterdays super bowl game. This annual event always seems to cause trouble for el constable since he is the one selling the pot numbers. This year he will not arrest anyone of the winners like years before. Esta vato, the constable, has arrested the last three years winner for gambling and not required to pay off the football pot. But this year he promised the majority of the pot goers that he was not going to arrest anyone this year. Chinga.

Yesterday at least twenty-five cowboy fans attended a super bowl party thinking the cowboys were playing in this year’s super bowl. Once they arrived at their normal hangout, they found at least thirty giant and the other team fans had taken there spot. Well before you know it chingo de chingaso were delivered and when the dust settled them boyz were haul off to jail. Charges will be filed against five cowboy fans, three giants fans, and one laker fan .
Ok raza got to go .

barrio stock market report for 11182011

barrio stock market report for Nov. 182011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Urbano here,As we approach the end of the year its only fair to say que its been a fairly good fiscal year. I know que many of us didn’t get that raise this year but we did manage to make it. Sometime I am sure que we all wonder how long does it take to be successful, but chit I don’t know and if I did, I would have written about it a long time ago.
Las empanadas believe it or not took a dip this week. From .89 cent each it dropped to .69 cent each. We believe its just a matter of time they will go back or even higher.

Los tamales have beenp retty stable this past month maintain a price of $5.50 a dozen, but hold on too your pants, we foresee them going to $6.00 at the end of the month.
Los taquitos, well here they have been pretty stable and will stay that way till the end of the year. Barrio restaurants taquitos are at $1.25 each, coffee is extra and watch out for refills.
cheap beer is still at $2.99 a six pack. Please note que we never have and never will, unless someone pays us but we don’t mention beer’s names. If you work for a beer company and want our opinion, hey just mail us a check and will be glad to.

And finally have a great weekend, “ if you cant eat it don’t buy it”.

hejola report for 11142011

Hejola report for 11142011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Veronica la lesbian con today’s award winning barrio headline news.
Tejano gay bar under heat.
Ten cowboy fans arrested.
And finally, tejano gay and regular cowboy fans complaint to local barrio cable services.
In an unusual rally was held by a mixture of cowboy fans, both gay and not, marched to the local barrio cable services to complaint about not showing the last quarter of the cowboys football game. Many were asking why and why not finish the game, since them boys having been winning to many games this year. No cable representatives were present to answer their demands.
This past weekend the only tejano gay bar in the hood was shut down for a few hours after several bomb threats were received by phone, and via email. El constable was not taking any changes so he demanded the bar to be shut down for awhile. Lots of its customers were really pissed off, that’s cool if they want to run us off, but at least do it when the cowboys game was over (Oh by the way the local programs did not show the last quarter of the cowboy game) says one of the customers.
After the only tejano gay was shut down yesterday afternoon, the crowd inside decided to take matters on their own by rioting outside the bar. They did this by standing at the corner and in the middle of third and Wells Street. At least ten cowboy fans were arrested, so of them were dress in drag and actual cowboy out fits. All will be charged for disturbing the peace.
Ok raza have a gay tejano day.
Editors note: The term Gay was originally used to refer to feelings of being "carefree", "happy", or "bright and showy"; it had also come to acquire some connotations of "immorality" as early as 1637.