hejola report for 10162013

Hejola report for 10162013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Now that man from snowy mountain David duran. Hello raza do we have a lot to talk about. Now for our award winning barrio headline news:

The saga continues at the corner of third and wells.

Barrio members not happy on how the constable is handling the standoff.

And finally some good news.

The constable in charge of this drama being held at this moment told us que he was very glad to see that the three hostage were doing great and seem to be in good health. He also stated that la commadre had bar b q some food for the three men and bought some beer also. All and all the situation seems to be reaching an end soon, and hoping que la commadre T will release the workers with no one getting hurt  soon.

 

This morning 5 barrio animal control unit workers went over to la commadre Tina V. Gonzales again with a new plan. This time la commadre T was not very happy with the idea that they capture some 50 of her cats outside her perimeter, had her own plan. The report says when the barrio animal control unit arrived this morning around 5 a.m. and noticed at least 50 more of them cats outsider the demilitarized zone that la commadre had marked in her back yard. Well at least three of the animal control unit workers tried to chase down some of them cats found them self well within the DMZ zone. Where all of a sudden la commadre appeared from a hidden bunker she had build for such an occasion behind the three animal control workers, managed to capture all the workers by knocking them down with a 10 foot 2x4 and taking them into her second fenced area next to her home. The other two workers made a run for it in an effort not to get caught but managed to contact the constable Cadena. No word on the status of this sage and stand off.

Today at least 35 people have gather at the corner of third and wells protesting the way the barrio animal control unit has handled the cat situation here. It seems that many of the protestors are telling us que there is really no need to be bringing in the local law dogs from across the streets and their swat team to end this terrible siege, in which the constable is considering if la commadre Tina doesn’t release the three hostage she captured a few hours ago.

 

Ok raza keep up the good work and proud to see that Tejano is not dying but getting better all the time.

hejola report for 10152013

Hejola report for 10152013.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Bill Diaz, con today’s award winning barrio headline news;
Fifty cats arrested outside compound.
Barrio skydiver dies after jumping off water tower.
And finally some good news:

The barrio community center has announced that it will hold is annual Halloween party at the Westinghouse barrio mall this year compared to last year’s location. The center’s director told us que the mall areas was much larger than the center and would easy hold the 10 senior citizens estimated to attend this year’s Halloween fest. Oh by the way the Halloween fest is for ages between 78 and 98 years old.
Yesterday Juan e. Gomez, a barrio well known skydiver had as many as 10 jumps died yesterday when his home made parachute didn’t open in time and as a result he impacted the ground prematurely. He was already warned that he could not climb and never the less jump off the only barrio water tower. But since we all knew him as a hard headed person, climb the tower without permission. He later died at the saint pauls medical center. The constable will investigate this case.
As you might remember that we reported que la commadre had over 250 cats in her backyard and fought off all five animal control workers, well this morning they came back with a new strategy. They decided since they couldn’t roundup la commadre’s cat in her back yard, they decided to wait outside her yard and waited for them cats to wonder off her property. At this time the city has reported que over 50 cats have already been arrested and waiting for more arrests. We will keep you informed on this matter.
Ok raza have a great day and don’t forget to vote.

hejola report for 10142013

Hejola report for 10142013.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, texas. Hello again I am David Duran with today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Barrio use cars not giving test drives.
Barrio cat lady fined for having too many cats.
And finally some good news.
The barrio and city and county workers spend all weekend putting up all the old 1968 Christmas decorations up again. The barrio leaders were a bit disa...ppointed que the workers didn’t bring the 1958 decorations they had requested instead of the 1968 ones. But the leader of this year’s barrio Christmas spirit told us que she was still going to push for the older ones come next year. The difference is that the older ones were so much prettier. Just for the record, the decorations have been a good deal for the hood; every time they put up those lights it seems that there is less crime in the hood. Many say it’s because they love the holidays and are in good spirit all year round.
This morning the barrio animal control unit went over to la commadre Tina V. Gonzales and arrested her and then released her, when she went on a rampage on all of the animal control unit workers, who were trying to round up all 250 cats, she had in her back yard. After wrestling all 5 workers to the ground she was told to let them men go and they would drop the charges and leave her stinky ass alone. Before the animal control folks left they dropped a ticket in her mail box and made and made a run for it. Oh, by the way la commadre is 6’3” and weights 350 lbs. and is an ex professional barrio wrestler. One of the animal control workers told us que she caught all five workers off guard.
Yesterday it was announced that the five star car lots, which is 5 used car lots dealers found at the Westinghouse barrio area, will stop giving car test drives. Yes in the past we would allow a new customer to drive our new used cars for a test drive. Well it seems that all five used car lots have agreed that unless the customer is real serious about buy the car they will have to purchase $5 dollars of gas for that test drive.
Ok I am David Duran sitting here in my back yard property looking over the beautiful lake, gee have a great Tejano day.

barrio stock market report for 10112013

 

 

Barrio stock market report for 10112013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. Como estan I am urbano yosabatodo con this week’s barrio stock market report. A barrio consumer and a big spender, it’s only fair to mention that spending that money that should have paid that bill is not good karma. But if you insist of being that way well go ahead. Now for that award winning barrio stock market report.

Los tamales:

El tamale market has come under lots of pressure due to the fact que the city is trying to cut on folks selling tamales on the street.  Our tamale guy has not come that much due to the fact que he might get busted. .  We thinking of hiring a tamale consultant to deal with this market. Los tamale ended the week at the years lowest, $5.50 a dozen. Hey raza buy buy buy.

Los taquitos:

It seems que it will never end. The competition among taco stands took a big fall this month. The evidences still lead us to believe que things are not going well in the hood.  Jobs are down but have shown some increase con todo that is going on at the Westinghouse barrio mall. Los taquitos ended the week at $1.25 each. A small increase from last month but coffee is extra.

Las empanadas:

 The local community gardens are also hosting a convention in the hopes que muchos de las empanadas maker will use local produce. In addition las empanada makers from all over south Texas will be attending and las empanada ended the week at $.89 cent each

 

Las tortillas: We keep on mention that La tortillas will be at $2.00 a dozen in the real never future due to the fact que the price of corn and flour. Las tortillas ended the week at $1.35 a pack of who knows how many.

 

La barbecue de cabeza:

This past few weeks the producers of chicken, beef, and pork have seen their sales and profits hit hard by an overabundance of llama farms stem up in the hood.  The meat marketplace has had its fears that llama meat will be the new market making beef Baracoa in less demand. La Baracoa de cabeza ended the week at $6.25 a lb. oh llama steaks are going for 2.50 a lb. gee what a meal.

 

Alcohol consummation report:

Here is a new twist in drinking or consuming alcohol in el barrio. Personal responsibility: It is up to each individual barrio member, not our local or state or even federal government, to make responsible decisions about your drunken ass life. Personal responsibility razes iis the key to a more decent and just barrio and a just society. State, federal, and local employees, too, must be accountable for their actions, just like barrio members that don’t have jobs. And that also includes bar and tavern owners. Cheap beer ended the week at $3.67 a six pack. Be looking for that barrio beer brew. We repeat this because it’s important.

 

Barrio want ads:

 

X54682. Used shoes and go go boots, sizes 5 to 15 women shoes only. Make offer.

X25683. Ten pairs of used panty hose make offer.

X58422. All kind of tires for sales, many sizes.

X98542. Womens underwear for sale, one size, 18.

X90345. Ten chickens and ten ducks still available from this passed Easter. Some in good shape, make offer.

X58963. Old records for sale.

 

Barrio realtors report;

Yesterday we found out that some gold was discovered at the morales ranch, ten miles southeast of palito blanco tex. Some part of this land is for sale so you can come and discover it for yourself. No guarantee that you will find any gold but there is no harm in looking. Just call 3615582263 an ask for gold digger.

 

Well there you have it for today, put things on layaway, now…

hejola report for 10072013

Hejola report for 10072013.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, texas. Hello again I am bill diaz con today’s hejolia award winning barrio headline news, this beautiful October day. For some reason or another and increase of marijuana arrests this past few weeks has the whole hood nervous. Many are wondering if this new wave of arrested are based on that “let me put the finger on you committee” vows to get rid of marijuana out of our hood. Oh well we will see.

Now for our awarding winning barrio headline news:

Barrio volunteers firefighters arrested con marijuana after turning fire out.

el compadre soliz storeage busted con weed.

and finally el chuco garza arrested after he flagged constable down for ride.

At noon yesterday el chuco Garza a well know bum in the hood, was arrested by el constable cadena. It seems que garza was standing in the middle of the road and waving and flagged down cars, but did manage to stop el constable and asked for a ride to the house on the hill. El constable cadenas report indicated que appeared unsteady on his feet and a bit nervous. El constable ask mr garza if he was on medication. But mr garza answer no I just smoked pot. It seems que el constable searched mr garza an found a few ounces of marijuana in his coat pockets and a roll of twenty dollar bills totally up to $400. dollars. Mr garza was arrested and if convicted, he could face lots of time in jail.

And finally, Yesterday afternoon los vatos locos volunteers firefighters were the first to arrive at a burning home on third and wells here on our side of the tracks. Once the real fire fighters from across the tracks got there they suspected that something was up because los vatos locos volunteer fire fighters were acting kinda nervous and were seen ferrying buckets of water to the fire themselves. Los locos were hoping que los neighbors wouldn’t call the real firefighters. Once el constable cadena got there and the fire was turned off he found several marijuana plants growing in the basement of the home and inside los vatos 1978 red ford whatever trunk. No one from the home was arrested but three vatos locos were and taken in for questioning.
ok raza there you have it for todays hejola report I am bill diaz.

hejola report for 10082013

Hejola report for 10082013.

Cchwnn.

New York, new York.  Hello once again raza I am bill diaz con my twin brother Jonathon Barrios. As we prepare for that long trip back to Kingsville, We are excited about that. Anyhow le’s go con mi brother and see what is the headline news for today:

Thanks pal, I am Jonathon barrio con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Cat’s  show in the park brings law dogs out,

Increase of illegal aliens,

And hug somebody today .

Yesterday at our office here in NYC we have hug a person day. We went into the city and ask person if they didn’t mind if we gave them a big hug. Out of the ten folks we asked if we could give them a hug, none agreed to it. As a matter of fact five of the ten called the cops on us. Once the police arrived, we asked them if we could hug them and they told us que we must be from texas. We said we were.

In other news, nyc  barrio report was submitted yesterday recording que a 100 % increase on illegal aliens have increased in the past few years. A group called somebody is watching you, told us que they didn’t want us to mention his name ( henry more), and he told us que an increase of aliens had jump real high this past few months. Si, los Marions was the most increased group so far. When asked where and how they were getting here he didn’t want to talk about it.

And finally the first annual cat show we tried to put together in the park turned out to be a mad idea. We didn’t know que the local police were going to bring their police dogs, which made lots of the cats kind of nervous. It took at least three hours for cat owners to round up their  pets and by that time our park permit had expired. Oh well maybe next year.

Ok raza got to go for now, and one last word, I love this city .

hejola report for 10012013

cchwnn@netscape.net:
Hejola report for 10012013.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, TX. Hello again I am bill Diaz back from an assignment. Well we have some good news, so let’s get to it now. Now for our barrio award winning headline news:
BARRIO INGENUITY UNION offers to buy cchwnn.
Two vatos try to steal barrio atm machine.
And finally barrio brown brews on sale.

Well it’s finally here, our barrio friend Jose Perez owner and creator of BARRIO BROWN BREW BEER is finally here and for sale. Mr. Perez was able to create a machine that allowed him to recycle beer left in either bottles or cans. Mr. Perez has signed a contact con several beer joints that have agreed to store this left behind beer an Perez and his crew pick it up on a daily bases and brews it at his brewery. This is great beer said one drunk who was given a gallon to take home for a trail taste. We haven’t seen him in a few days, but we do know one thing que it’s in your local beer joint or coming soon, BARIIO BROWN BREW BEER, FOR THOSE WHO THINK YOUNG.

In other news two vatos were arrested late Saturday night. This two must have been raised somewhere else instead of the hood. It seems que estos ways were trying to steal an atm machine from the cona Lozano cash and carry sports complex. The only problem is que this machine was welded and tried and screw so tight que not even a truck could have removed it. Anyhow besides all that the machine had not been working for at least three years. Charges are pending .

And finally our creator Daniel wrote a memo to all his staff que the BARRIO INGENUITY UNION (BIU) has agreed in principal to purchase all the rights to Chicano cable hot wired news network. A settlement is still on the table but has agreed in theory. As we all know that BIU is the newest thing that hit the hood and wants to buy everyone out. We are hoping to have a discussion come this Wednesday. What does this mean for the present staff, well the founder Daniel lopez had no comments on this merger. We here and you there are hoping que our creator Daniel doesn’t give in to BIU owner and their management Daniel. Pesse hejola, you figure it out.

Well raza there you have it. Have a great day I am bill diaz.