barrio stock maket report for 09112015.

Barrio stock market report for 09112015.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, tx. Hello again I am urbano yosabatodo con this week’s barrio stock market report. Things cost so much que we don’t even watch t.v. anymore. Now let’s get to that award winning stock market report.
>Los taquitos up from last week, ended the week at $1.45 each coffee is extra.
>Los tamales are on a steady increase, which we noticed a few weeks ago, but took a dive up on that steady pass this week, ended the week at $6.00 a dozen.
>Las tortillas, remain pretty stable for now but predicted to go up on price, tortillas $1.50 a pack of twelve. Think corn tortillas?
< la barbacoa de caberas remained stable, ended the week at bit lower, $6.00 a lb. llama barbeque at $2.50 lbs. it’s the solution.
Las empanadas are on a roll now and their prices are sky high, las empanadas took an increase ending the week at $.89 each. Pesse hejola.
And that cheap beer, as a matter of fact went down a bit to a low time low last week but took that hike this week up to of $4.95 a six pack.
Barrio want ads:
#893543: old electric chair, SOLD.
#89767: children toys and some clothing for sale by the pound. SOLD.
#98076: adult toys and a bunch big girl’s kinky clothing, sold by the pound.
#23546: bicycles for sale. Some are missing parts other you decide.
#98763; still looking for move in maid, will provide French outfit and has to some work around the house wearing it. PLEASE make appointment.
#7658: old tejano records, some 45,78, and a bunch 331/3 lp. Make offer.
Barrio realtors:
That lot on the corner of 8th and wells street is still for sale but has changed address to the corner of 3th and wells street, just get on wells and keep driving on it till it ends there take a left and go three block and turn left, until you hit wells again and then turn right and keep going about 7 blocks and the turn left and you might see it from there, if not turn around and go back 6 blocks and turn right and head west but if you don’t know which way is west, than head south.
Ok raza there you have it for today, and keep it Tejano.

hejola report for 09102015

 

Hejola report for09102015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,Texas. Hello raza I am David Polar Bear Duran con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio vato locos volunteers make a small big effort.

Hand full of barrio folks arrested and then released and then arrested again.

La commadre drug and alloying relatives.

And now some darn good news.

Well raza its official, that there are chingos de raza in the hood que believe in all the chit that they hear on tv is true and have decided to just on the crown wagon and go along to come along. I guess muchos de raza believe in that, so for all you raza clowns, one last thing. I told you so.

Five folks were released after this weekend’s sting on crack houses in the hood. The five folks names were not released but the official word was que they were having a pray session at this trail house. Knowing that a mistake had happened they released all the persons at the trailer house but then arrested again for not having a religious permit to gather in the name of the lord. A law suit could results from this embarking event and we bless the lord.

Yesterday after noon some of  los vatos loco volunteer firefighters were called to assist at a backyard apartment fire at the corner of third and wells. It seems que the only small fire which los vatos locos were able to maintain until the real fire guys showed up from across the tracks was the backyard dog house. No one was injured, but a few of the volunteers lost their way to the fire.

And finally, It seems que el constable cadena has been real busy this past few days con tantos drunks in the hood. This one call he got was from “La Commadre Luce taco stand” were la comandre Carmen Gonzales, unknown age (56) was arrested for allegedly being intoxicated and annoying customers as they came by the drive inn window to pick up orders to go. So once el constable got there he decided not to arrest her but decided to give her a ride home. But when she got home el compadre and his seven children insisted that she was drunk and should ashame of herself. So she decided to drive herself and eight or more relatives to the el constable office and demanded que el constable give her a breathalyzer test as all eight relatives stood there and watch. Well of course we all know that she did not pass the test and el constable was forced to arrest her.

Ok raza again be cool and think before you act..

hejolia report for 09092015

Hejolia report for 09092015.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello raza como estan, I el general fideo vermicelli, Bill is on assignment, but are you ready for our award winning barrio headline news:
Ten chickens and five turkeys terrorize birthday party.

Three women arrested at labor day barrio party for throwing a box of tampons at security guard.

And finally la comadre me puso el dedo, says Frankie Luz.

It seems que one of el compadres comadres called the cops on him, thinking she hear someone breaking into his home, who lives next door to her. Once el ojo barrio security force 666 answer the call, they promptly went over to el compadres home and found the back door open. Once inside the security force found chingos de marijuana growing in backyard and inside of his home. No charges have been filed yet but depending on how good the weed is, or worth, or something.

El barrio security force 666, arrested three barrio women at this past weekend labor day fest held at el chicano park. It seems que Nora, Norma, y Noelia Martinez got a bit too wasted and we asked to leave the park, as they were leaving the park one of the drunk women threw an unopened box of tampons at one of the barrio security force 666 members, as they drove out of the park. All three women were arrested for P.I., DWI, FEAS, and TRYING TO HARM A PEACE OFFICERS. CHARGES WILL BE FILED.

And finally, Having live chickens and turkeys at an adult birthday party wasn’t a good idea after all. La familia Gomez felt que having this extra activity for adults and children to chase around would look like lots of fun, until the chickens and the turkeys held their ground and started chasing the party goers around the back and front yard. Since the constable was not working this week, the party goers had to shoot all ten chickens and all five turkeys. The good thing was that they were able to cook most of them that afternoon. No injuries to the real folks.
There you have it and have a great tejano day.

hejola report for 09082015

Hejola report for 09082015.

.Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Now from our command post here is David Duran, como estan mi amigo, I am David Duran. Now con our award winning headline news:

Internet becoming addicted for barrio members,

Gay cowboy fans upset.

and barrio farm animal still causing problems,

Constable cadena responded to a barrio resident motorist's call and to assist them with a chicken that had flown into a car and become tangled in its windshield wipers. And constable cadena was again was called to the home of los martinez in which they wanted to report que 50 pigeons had been stolen or flown away. It seems que at least 7 of the pigeons had been killed by passing cars. It is very important que all the folks in the hood need to move their farm animal out of the city limits.

After the only tejano gay was shut down yesterday afternoon, the crowd inside decided to take matters on their own by rioting outside the bar. They did this by standing at the cornerof third and Wells Street. At least ten cowboy fans were arrested, so of them were dress in drag and actual cowboy out fits. All will be charged for disturbing the peace.

And finally many barrio men and barrio women from the hood have recently have become "addicted" to the Internet and longed for their computers. Said the official, Benny Goodman martinez, "For people who play (Internet) games all night and don't have any friends, don't have any hobbies, and some don’t even come to work anymore, and when they do it’s a very big shock, having to work con other people.

There you have it folks. Have a good day, I am David Duran con el cchwnn barrio news.

hejola report for 09042015

 

 

Hejola report for 09042015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas, hello raza I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

El compadre Godiva arrested.

La Tortilla Company closing their doors.

La commadre y el compadre arrested for dwi, pi, and child abuse and who knows what else.

And now some what good news.

Los gringitos wanting to be part of the ongoing hate for its own kind have been advised regardless who they support or vote for, you better stand in line con the rest of your brown and black friends. Coming soon, knocking at our doors, and it’s not the pizza delivery man. Hey pale face have we forgotten where we came from.

It seems que el compadre Morales felt que he needed to take his horse, silver, for a late nigh ride. The only problem was that he was intoxicated and was naked. As he rode his horse around the hood, some barrio residents felt que he wasn’t a lady Godiva on that horse so many took it on their own to call the constable.  As the constable toured the hood looking for that male version of lady Godiva, he came across him at the corner of third and Wells Street. After several hours of being chase through the hood, he finally gave himself up and asked permission to go to the bathroom. The constable arrested him and his horse. Charges are pending. 

 

La Tortilla Company at the edge of third and wells will close its doors this weekend. La familia Torres told us que it was about time to retire because he and his wife were just too old to run the business. Since we don’t have any children we figure que it was just too much for us and will close its doors this coming 2033.

Yesterday was a prime example of why parents around the age of 28 to 43 should not drink and drive. El constable Cadena arrested la commadre Maria Garcia, y su new husband, el compadre Martin Gomez, were arrested for driving intoxicated and just plan drunk. In addition to all this, los dos parents seemed not to have mined strapping their 3 children ages 7,10, and 12 years old to the hood of their car. The children were not hurt but we can see what alcohol does to parents. Charges will be filed. The children told us que they were having lots of fun. 

Ok raza have a great Tejano day and don’t fall for everything you see.

hejola report for 09032015

Hejola report for 09032015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,texas.  Hello raza how are we doing, I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Healing licking cow found inside city limits.

Ice cream truck driver arrested in the hood.

barrio basketball ref wanted and on the run.

And now some darn good news.

It seems that barrio bill collectors are real unset with our creator for abandoning his responsivities for making monthly payments of over $5000 dollars. It seems that our creator has gone underground to avoid any more collectors knocking on our door. So if we owe you money sorry.

A large number of persons have been pilgrimage this day, to the home and farm inside the city limits of the family Trevino. It seems que a mystical cow that was born in a sacred commune, according to a folk-healer report.
Word got out after the wife of the cow's owner said she was cured of a chronic illness, and other success stories followed by cow’s licking its face, and now the owner is charging 50 cents per lick. But, warned the owner, "the cow won't lick people who won't pay first”. City officials have moved in and shut the Trevino operation down earlier today. Say que they didn’t have a permit for lick cow inside the city limits. It is also apparent que this folks had not hear about the city law prohibiting farm animal inside the city limits. Folks were given one year to clean their act.

Yesterday afternoon it was reported que several shoots had been fired. By the time we here and you there got there, constable cadena had arrested the Ice cream truck driver Juantio Leal, 35. His was arrested came after he ended an altercation with a 22-year-old woman customer who wanted a refund on a nutty bubby. Leal told the customer que no refunds once you open the pack. The customer started call Mr. Leal lots of ugly named say a kid waiting in line and saw Mr. Leal allegedly pulling out his handgun and firing two shots at the woman's feet (one shot of which ricocheted and hit her collarbone). He will be charged and no refund was given to the customer.

All this week the police from across the tracks have been hunting for basketball referee after the man ended a confrontation with a coach, after the referee had called a foul on one of this players. The referee, who has pulling out a gun and shoots the coach in the stomach. The conditions of the coach were unknown, nor the where about of the referee. Constable cadena is asking for our assistance and want you to call us if you have seen a man wearing a white shirt con black stripe and wearing black pants, and black shoes and goes by the name of “hey ref”….

Ok Raza high alert and make sure you tune in to watch your favorite videos on Tejano Videos.. good day.

hejola report for 09012015

Hejolia report for 09012015.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Now from our command post, Veronica la Lesbian.
Hi, raza como estan, now con the most trusted news service, today's award winning barrio head line news:

La comadre Thelma released after running over her three year old son.
Justice of the peace Judge Eloy Falcon still in trouble.
Penis charm Lawsuit dropped.

La family of the late Juan Pistolas filed a wrongful-death lawsuit last year against “The Other Side nightclub” which is located on this side of the tracks, charging que el senior Pistolas had choked to death on a miniature plastic penis that allegedly had been placed into his drink glass as a prank by an employee. The club owner of the other side nightclub said Mr. Pistolas merely suffered a seizure and that the penis charm was found on the floor beside Mr. Pistolas body, based on the constable cadena report and pictures taken of the body.

Through the years, justice of the peace Judge Eloy Falcon, who was removed from the bench last week, seems to be in more trouble. It appears that Judge Falcon is certainly one of the least friendly judges for small time criminals. It has been note for example, in 2003, he convicted two jay walker, Maria Gonzales 64 and Maria Gomez 65, were re-sentenced by a jury of their peers, the judge recommend after an appeals court said their original sentences totaling 6,475 years were based on faulty jury instructions and needed to be evaluated and sentence should be based on the crime.Armed with the proper instructions, the jury again took the judges recommendation and tacked an additional 260 centuries onto the sentences: a total of 21,250 years for Gonzales and 11,250 for Gomez. The whole case has been dropped and the two elderly women paid a small fine.
And finally, La commadre Thelma Munoz, a 31-year-old woman who lives at the corner of third and wells street was arrested and released after she ran over her 3 year old son. Ms Munoz said que she felt a mysterious bump as she was pulling out of her driveway, and to help determine what it was, she said, she drove over it again, and then a third time. It was her 3-year-old son, who suffered a broken leg. There will be no need to report to any authorizes says constable cadena, it was just a freak accident.

Ok raza there we have and we will see you real soon and remember keep it tejano.