westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 03212017

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 3212017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,Texas.  Hello I am Gloria Guerra con our newsletter that we are force to share space with you know who. But putting that all aside let’s get to our mall correspondent General Fideo vermicelli.

Well Gloria things are not going to smooth, it seems que a last year, during the annual clown fest, and a mall customer was hit in the head by a flying sex object and causing extensive head and shoulder injuries. It seems Baudelia Hawkins, tells this report que the mall should have had better security knowing que those clowns are out of control, and she is seeking more than $40,000 in medical bills, and barrio emotional stress and punitive damages. And by the way she gets real upset when she sees a clown. Gloria we will be going to court in the real near future.

(Ok thanks General. Now let’s go to our gal Blanca Blanch Blanco).

Si Gloria, we don’t think that this law suit will hold any ground. But talking about our mall, a group of locos better known as the only barrio poltergeist group “poltergeist de la Tierra de aztlan” will gather this weekend for their first group meeting. The mall has allowed them to stay overnight when the mall is close to see if the mall is haunted or any weird poltergeist activities going on while the mall is close. Back to you Gloria boohoos.

(Ok raza there you have it now back to the command post).

 

Now let’s go to our “ocean front properties mall”, just west from the corner of third and wells.

Hi there I am mall manager Hilma Dalia Hawkins, from Hawkins’s barrio properties. We are very pleased to provide you, el barrio shopper with the best darn customer services to make your spending money much easier and enjoyable. We consider ourselves the best mall in the hood or better known this side of tracks, just west from the corner of third and wells attracting customers from all over the county. And we do promise to be friendly, convenient, and promise to maintain our properties both inside and outside and keep the mall area clean and inviting. We have hired real security personnel and do promise to maintain a safe and secure environment. Have a great day and don’t forget if you can’t eat it don’t buy it.

Ok Raza so now we have a barrio mall and a west-side mall just west from the corner of third and wells, again Raza come on down and don’t forget we don’t accept major credit cards nor real cash, monopoly, and always remember “ your business is our business and my business is none of your business”.

hejola report for 03152017

Hejola report for03152017.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Barrio man texting notes to woman with same name but wrong person gets his butt kicked.
Tomas Trumpas taxes show he is broker than broke....
And finally spring break party busted with old folks naked.
Ok let’s see if we can get this right. A spring break party was being held at a private nursery home where all the residents had agreed to walk around in there most outrages swim wear with no questions asked? Well it wasn’t what they were wearing that got them busted but what they were not wearing was the cause of the complaint. How can you have folks from the ages of 67 to 98 years old walk around wearing nothing? Come on man? One was arrested but at least 10 of them fell down as they made a run to their private room and couldn’t move anywhere when el constable got there. You says el constable the most discouraging thing about all this is watching elder folks lay out in the hall way naked. Dang!

How can you vote for a man that said he was the smartest man in the hood and had made thousands of dollars by doing what he does best, nothing! That is right says a barrio resident that found Trumpas taxes in trash can close to his home. The taxes show that Trumpas hasn’t worked in years and has had no income either. So what does that mean for all of us? That trumpas is a bad example of a tax payer that doesn’t pay taxes as he says he does. Pincha liar pants on fire!
It’s not every day that Juan Juan Juarez gets to talk with women he don’t know but in this case he though he knew la commadre Nancy Gracie while he text a lot of stuff that he wouldn’t want anyone to know about. Well it seemed that there are several Nancy Gracie’s in the hood that got Juan butt kicked when he realized que he was texting the wrong woman. The husband of this Nancy found out by reading some of the stuff he text her made him so mad que he found out who he was and went over and kicked his butt and torn his apartment apart looking for the items he mention in his text to his Nancy. Once he found the things he had read he took them an kicked his butt with every single sex toy he had to teach this bum a lesson. No charges will be filed but the constable took the sex toys with him as evidences.
Ok raza have a great day and keep your clothing on there are women and children watching you!

hejola report for 03142017 pt 2

Hejola report for 03142017.

 Cchwnn.

 Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con todays award winning barrio headline news;

 Old news isn’t new news for some Latinos or whatever.

 Fight breaks out between two anti barrio groups.

 And finally some good news.

 Yesterday a group of good tejanos donated 2 tons of recycle cans for this year’s easter recycle can hunt. The barrio members in charge told ...us que it was a blessing in the sky. And they wanted to thank all the beer drinkers that attended last weekend beer fest for its donation. Que viva la raza y la tortilla de mesa.

 Yesterday two of the best anti latino, anti migrant, anti seasonal farmworkers, anti hotel workers, anti yard workers, and some anti restaurant workers and anti conjuntos, got into a hug fight over how many tamales can a family make at home now that easter is just around the corner. Let me put the finger on you and barrio Americans for better tamales members were arrested and many weren’t, that because they take cheap shots at those that have no beef with them. One barrio member told us que many already forgot our roots and forgot where our forefathers came from. Oh well. Pincha tamale eater!

At the last city hall meeting members of so call group of Latinos mad at other Latinos agreed to protest an upcoming festival that will not feature their favor musical groups. One of the Latinos leaders said que they were tired of all the illegal and their music, cultural, languages, and food they brought with them. Furthermore he believed que we should not even have that festival and they also agreed to who ask them brought you here? The city leaders decided not to talk about this matter till 2033.

 

 Ok raza have a great day and you too all the haters in la onda

hejola report for 03142017

Hejola report for 03142017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again mi Raza I am Maria la Bandia con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Trumpas liar liar pants on fire.

Barrio recycles vato buying used Micro waves to install instant cameras for your family pictures.

And finally barrio being asked to be more American.

Yesterday several odd members of the hood were very mad at the whole world, especially due to the fact que they weren’t being real Americans. You see says Henry Pott a gringo resident of the hood said that he was so disappointed with his barrio que they weren’t been as American as they can be! Look to be a real American you folks need to eat more Spam and bread! And stay away from them tortilla and beans. It’s make you folks fat and ugly. He said you can always tell who’s on food stamps around here (oh by the way Henry weight 450).

Wow you want to buy a great bargain will lets come on over to Beto’s used stuff and let him fix your micro wave and turn it into an instant camera for your enjoyment. Yes Raza,the new trend in the hood and promises you the best pictures ever taken by pressing the button that says smile! It’s a very simple process you either buy one of his micro waves or chit bring your own and will be converted into that wonderful camera you wanted all your freaking life at a very small cost of $350. Oh by the way no monopoly money is being accepted!

Well he did it again mi Raza Trumpas promised que he would donated his cheque to the poor and not so poor told this report que to hell con the poor and not so poor and was going to keep his payroll check and not donated like he promised. Look he said them folks and my check won’t do anyone any good anyhow. The annual salary the barrio leader earns is less than $20.oo a month. Sorry suckers...

Ok raza like the old man in shoe once said you aren’t chit if you ain’t got chit.

la china cano barril family advisor,03132017.

la china cano barrio family advisor 03132017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. hello I am china cano de china nuevo leon que onda raza, Chinga its been along ass time since you have heard from me. Anyhow lets share some email I got on our topic for this issue:

Dear china.

I am a young college girl and very smart and sometime feel stupid. I really don’t know how to control my feelings. Could it be that I am getting old? a coed needs guidance.

La china cano de china Nuevo leon:

Look girl life is a trip. Yea trip, stop and think of the cost you are sacrificing. Be real and keep focus on your dream and goal. Si my daughters there will be bumps in the road to come. Keep strong and wish.

 

Ok here is another one I have to answer:

Dearest china,

I know you know me china. I know that you sometimes don’t make sense. But yet what is sense, china? I really need your help. Look what is a woman need while in college, for sure love and all the attention I can without having to go bar hoping, believe it’s cool, but lets it takes lots of money.

Here is the question mi china, should I invest my time in a young guy whose mind is between his legs. Or a middle age student rebounding from some relationship or just a man that set on his ways, being creative and funny, makes me laugh. And has money? Please china tell me what to do…? In love..

Dear love ,

Hejola I just want you to understand that those are the questions that many go through life. The word man only represents all man regardless of what gender. I think one that might have her mind set on the American dream of home, children and a career are good goals but are they real?

Ask yourself why do I sit here late at night wondering what life is all about, it’s very very simple. Don’t stand along, be strong inside and go by what your heart tells you. A young love sometimes can be great but not share much in logic, remember seeking an education is knowledge. Now I will leave it up to you, think age don’t make a differences let me get that degree.. first and love later..

I am la china cano de china nuveo leon an hear womens problems, I have over 30 years of knowledge of being in love and dealing con esto.

I am la china an buck stops here.

hejola report for 03102017

Hejola report for 03102017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. Hello again I am bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Seven arrested at Tejano anti gay rally.

Fight breaks out at the young baseball.

Rain dancer goes naked!

And finally so darn good news.

Well when the rain came we all went away when the rain came.

It finally rained this week and made a few residents go a bit crazy by going and standing on their front yard half naked and chatting some weird words. But the time el constable showed up them folks were drenched and almost naked. The constable was force to come out of his 1979 ford whatever cop car to ask them what was going on. Before the constable could finish his statement, he was knocked down and rolling in the mud with this bunch of locos. Charges are pending once el constable is released from the medical center and all the mud is removed from inside his head.. hejola.

Why do parents believe that their child is the only child that can’t hit a rubber ball from a tee? That was the case this past weekend when la family Garcia youngest child 3 years old threw the bat after he swung at a plastic ball sitting on a tee at least 25 times. The umpire in charge, sergeant B, a well known umpire who is known for giving children a few swings at the tee was attacked by coaches, a manger, three women, and one grandmother on his way out of the field. He was taken to st. Paul’s medical center for treatment and to see if he could get that darn tee out of his a …… charges are pending.

Yesterday el constable had no choice but to arrest several Tejano that didn’t believe there were any gay conjuntos or gay conjunto bars in the hood (please note there are). The group decided to picket the oldest Tejano gay bar in the hood “two tons of fun”. At the owners requested he demanded that all those haters needed to get off his property, but when they refused el constable came around and sprayed all the protesters con cold water and some didn’t still wanted to leave. So the constable was force to arrest at least 7 haters, three ducks, two chickens, and a handful of dogs and cats. Charges are pending to determine who the animals belonged to.

 

 

Ok raza have a great Tejano day.

hejola report for 03102017

Hejola report for 03102017

 

 

Cchwnn.

 

 

Kingsville,tx. Hello raza how are we doing, I am Veronica la Lesbian con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

 

 

Barrio prepare for taqucaha day.

 

 

Ten tejanos gays arrested at bar.

 

 

And now some good news.

 

 

Today a handful of tejanos went out and gather around 2 tons of recycle cans for this year’s barrio recycle can hunt which replaced easter bunny eggs. Do you have few cans you want to donate?

 

 

Late last night ten Tejano gays persons were arrested for not using the right bathroom. It seems que el barrio had already gotten a letter from the city que the only Tejano gay bar needed to have at least three bathrooms: men, women and whatever. The owners of the Tejano gay bar said que he didn’t know about this matter and said que he had plans on fixing it. Two tons of fun bar was shut down after this incident. But plans to reopen sooner than later.

 

 

Yesterday the organizers of the third annual Taqucha day is schedule for this weekend. Here all the owners of taquchas will be given an opportunity to give ideas on how to preserve taquchas. It’s time that we took a stand con los taquchas and the way they have been treated. The leader of so call taquchas told us que he wasn’t real sure of what direction they were headed. But once we get enough taqucaha owners we will go from there.

 

 

And by the way see you all at fanfare.