westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 04282017

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter 04282017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Once again I am Gloria Guerra con Today’s mall newsletter. Well the owners and myself,

Having been thinking about re-opening our conjunto enchanted  Dance land this coming July 4 of this year, more on that con our own politico General Fideo vermicelli.

Bueno Gloria the idea is back, having had the first conjunto enchanted dance land was an experience before and re-opening the dance land and camping grounds could bring people back to the mall. As a matter of fact Gloria, re-opening the camping ground here at the mall is a great idea. Now not only can shopper spend all day at the mall, they can now camp out at the mall, fabulous idea.

Ok general we will stay in touch, now let’s go con our man in the street Frankie tuxedo zuniga con his report.

Well Gloria we had planned for the biggest fun run in el barrio for Cinco de Mayo. The fun run was for a 10 k run in the hood, and the route was to cover major barrio areas and sites. It’s a great and safe route, but that was the cause of its cancelations, it wasn’t as safe as they pointed out so it was canceled. Look el constable told us how in the world are you going to run a race in the hood when there are a bunch of wild dogs, chicken,turkey,duck and a few farm animals on the loose. It aint going to happen.

Ok Frankie great job, and Frankie be careful. Well and finally let’s go con our own maria la vandia con a few words about this coming Cinco de Mayo!

We all know that this not a national holiday so raza don’t take time to take leave  for  this day, save it for fathers day ,,Look ladies it’s not every day  you love your man like you use too. Why not go and put that little outfit he gave you some time ago and slip right into and make his day. I know it fits a bit tight but who cares. I know que el compadre will really appreciate it. And girls don’t argue this weekend con el compadre, just make his day, if possible.

Ok thanks maria for those loving words, well folks there you go. have a great day.

hejola report for 04272017

Hejola report for 04272017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville. Tx. Hello amigos como estan, I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Home owners refuse to move. then tricked to leave the place.

Barrio resident eats wife for dinner.

And finally, increase of layaways.

Some barrio store owners told us que they were very excited que this year they saw a 100 percent increase on layaways for this Christmas. Si says Manuel Rios a owner of one the largest stores at the Westinghouse barrio mall. Oh yea, it’s going to be a great Christmas.

It had been several days before anyone had seen la commadre mary Janie Martinez. El compadre told el constable who was investigating a missing persons report, que la commadre got drunk several nights ago and when for a walk never came back. At the same time el constable asked el compadre what he was cooking for dinner and he said some beef head. Once el compadre gave el constable permission to go inside the home, el constable went over and took a look at that real good smelling beef head, which turned out to be la commadres head. Charges will be filed. Oh by the way, the head was taken in as evidences.

Yesterday a team of demolishing team arrived somewhere near the corner of third and wells were stop shortly after a family refusing to move from their home that was sold without their permission. La family Katie Lozano y su ten sons, known as the sons of Katie lozaon,were surrounded yesterday by all types of law enforcement when they refused to move from their home that was schedule to be leveled. But the family tells us que they didn’t sign any paperwork or agreement to sell their property. The family was asked to live the place so they could go find an attorney, which the all agreed to go. Once they all left the property, the crew continued to demolish the place. When the family came back con their lawyer, the question is what happen to the house?

Ok raza got to go and see you all later gator.

hejola report for 04262017

Hejola report for 04262017

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again, Bill Diaz con our award winning barrio headline news:

 

Three arrested con evil weed.

Barrio big plans for 4 of July on Cinco de Mayo turn out small.

And finally spring break  for monkies.

Yesterday the only school in the nation for pet monkies informed us que school was out for spring break. So if you had or have a monkey registered at that school you need to go by and pick it up or else. That was what the school administrator told us yesterday during a very exclusive interview. Yea..

Let me put the finger on you committee has layout this year’s barrio 4 of July fest will be held this cinco de mayo. The theme that was selected is “ keep it American”, has changed to ‘Let keep Mexican Americans in check”.The whole committees were excited and are going to paint the whole hood red, white, Green and blue with tax payer’s monies. The group hopes to convince the city to dish out 20 thousand gallons of paint for the hood... wow.

Yesterday evening el constable did his job by arrested three vato’s standing at the corner of third and wells for selling evil weed. This weed or evil weed was just plain lawn grass with a little mint in it and dried out a bit. The constable took a hit from one of the cigarettes they were selling and didn’t get a buzz. He told them three boys que if you going to be selling chit, might as well sell the real thing. Charges will be filed. Oh by the way el constable will keep the 3 thousand cigarettes he took from them three as evidence.

Ok raza keep it Tejano

westinghouse barrio mall newsletter 04252017

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter 04252017. Cchwnn. Kingsville, tx.... Once again I am Gloria Guerra the mall manager of this fine mall, besides all you read all about us is not true, especially on that hejola barrio headline news. Now the clown fest, has been reschedule for this weekend. It turned out that none of the clowns that got busted here at the mall were not real clowns, just plan clowns. But we are going to hire extra security just to make sure. In the past we have had a bunch of bad clowns come here and kind of damages some parts of the mall, but some serious talks have been held con the two clown union here in the hood que they will try an act their age. But besides all this bull, let’s go to maria la vandia con here report at the mall stage. Si Gloria, I am maria y chingos de pe-do has been going on here at the mall this past few days. It looks like a war zone con chingos de cops y narcoses. Pero we do have our act together for this weekend. It seems that the clown fest always brings out lots of children y family. So make it a day of fun and joy. Ok thanks maria, now let’s go con our sports guy Frankie tuxedo zuniga. Oh yea raza como estan, I am Frankie con a very privileged to announce que we will be having all kind of competition during this clown fest. Some of the events are the following: Throwing pie contest. Eating beans and rice contest. Watermelon spitting seed contest. Three legged clown race. Balloon blowing contest. Beer drinking contest. La commadre wrestling matches. Pin the tail on la commadre and compadre. Now they have warned the clowns that if they start any shit they are going to jail. So as you can see Gloria we have chingos de things to do this coming weekend at our annual clown fest 2017. Ok Frankie an keep itup boy, now let’s make sure we got this right, the clown fest 2017 is back on schedule and we have lots of thing for the whole family, and lots of security has been hired just in case que los clown lose la onda. I am Gloria Guerra mall manager, and have a great Tejano day . and to all the $100 dollars ladies oh yea.

hejola report for 04242017

Hejola report for 04242017
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again mi raza como estan, well there has been chingos de action this past few days so lets get to our award winning barrio headline news.
barrio robber busted at st. paul’ medical center.
Barrio doctors tell us que increase of tapeworms.
And finally family feud kills several family members.
According to constable cadena report, he tells us que two barrio families that have been feuding for at ten years created a big ass ruckus late last night. It seems que la family Martinez killed la family Munoz’s cat, so when el senor found out he went over and shot la family Martinez prize winning pit bull. So when mr. Martinez found out he went over and shot mr. munoz and his oldest daughter. By the time el constable got there, several shots were fired at his barrio security force 666 and wounding at four of el constable staff. Furthermore before he could shoot el constable cadena, he manager to shoot el senor Martinez in the head several times, fatally wounding mr. Martinez. Charges are still pending due to the fact que no witness were alive to point out who fired the first shot.
In other odd news, Yesterday afternoon el doctor DR. CHON CHINGO CHON, medical leader for St. paul’s medical center gave Westside residents some real bad news at el barrio cruz rojo community center. He told the crowd of about 3 people que eating taco and other great Mexican dishes was a very serious matter for all off those that lived on our side of the tracks (Westside). He pointed out que some of those tapeworms grow inside many of us and can get up about 100 feet in length. He recommends que in order to prevent the little worms, he recommend eating more Chinese food, who by the way owns one right here at the Westinghouse barrio mall. At the same time he gave out discount cards to all the crowd. He plans on publishing his report in a view months con el Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter.
And finally, It seems que chuy Ruelas, age unknown (32), visited the st. paul’s medical center late last night as he fled from El Barrio taco stand #7 that he had robber. It seems que chuy was running through la comadre backyards and didn’t see la commadre Maria Munoz cloth line which knocked him down and fell into a dig right next to her back yard, causing him to tumble down the dig and into a big hole. In doing this he lost control of his gun and his stash, during his fall. When he reported to the medical center he had a broken left leg, right arm and a real serious burn around his neck. The staff at the medical center were very suspicious when they asked him on how he was going to pay, and he pulled out the deposit bag from el barrio taco stand #7. Staff then called 918 and contacted el constable cadena. Chuy was arrested at the medical center.
Ok raza, just to make an odd point, keep your cats and dogs locked up.

barrio baile study for 2017, part2.

barrio baile study for 2017, part 2.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello I am la china cano de china Nuevo leon con this very important barrio study for 2017, part 2. This pasted year I spend chingos de time at las cantinas, dance halls, and chingos de club, And came up with these conclusion.

Looking for love.

 Looking for a lost love.

 and looking for trouble.

Let’s deal con looking for love. When one is young and full of life it’s so easy to go out all night long and looking for that one nite stand. Always looking for that special person and looking. An as one might say go out and find someone, in this case bar hopping. Sometime the majority of the ones that you are looking at,  could have found that one special person they were looking for also. So it’s a looking here and looking there. But do we find what we are looking for all night long? Nay..

Now let’s deal con looking for a lost love. Here are the ones we had and just couldn’t keep and now they are still looking again, yet you are still willing to look at them again. It’s a lost cause my friend. We believe that once they leave, there ain’t no coming back. But many of us love that kind of love, que we are determined to make that lost love ours again. But by now that lost love is still looking and I am sure they are looking at you.

And finally, looking for trouble? Ok by now you realize que we found love, lost that love and now looking for trouble. Did you know, I am sure you do, que there has been an increase of bar fights this pasted year, up at least 22 percent from last year at this time. And the majority of bar fights that we monitor were started by women. And in some cases, fighting over lost love, or looking at a new love that has its own love already, or just plain misunderstanding. In most cases misunderstanding.

Starting fights at bars is not really a good thing. There could be some many things go wrong que you might just get your ass whipped, and some time not even by the person or persons you started a fight with. Our study shows one case of a friend that got his tooth knock out by trying to separate a friend from a fight. Pesse hejola, he didn’t even see the punch.

 

So there you have it, our conclusion is stay home if you can’t act your age, and if you can act your age act your age.

I am la china cano.

hejola report for 04202017

 

Hejola report for 04202017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio dog trainer busted for stealing dogs.

Increase of stray animals in the increases.

And finally real love turns out to be your pet.

Before his arrest this past few days,“here Boy” Munoz, the only barrio dog trainer, had  his new book on training barrio dogs on display at the mall. The name of the book is “Helping Dogs help themselves”, was to be released in a few days. But for now the book signing date is pending on his release from jail.

El constable cadena will be the main speaker at tonight community program where he will address the large number of dogs, cats and some farm animals that have strayed into the hood lately. Cadena tells us que tonight meeting will be very important, because he plans on submitting his proposal to decrease the number of stray’s in the hood. He was not ready to announce his plan till after the meeting and may be in the year 2022, when his plan will be finalized.

Yesterday evening el constable stopped a 1978, 2 door ford whatever and found at least 27 dogs inside the vehicle. The owner and driver of the car was the only barrio dog trainer “here boy” Munoz, and was arrested for driving with too many dogs. El constable told us que they weren’t sure how he was able to driving when he barely fit in the car. But after further investigation and questioning some of the dogs, it turned out that half of the dogs had been reported missing. One of the dogs told this reporter “ bark bark barkkekssl”. All the dogs were arrested and some were later released to their proper owners, the other were let loose and allowed to wonder into the darken streets. “Here Boy” was fined and was taken to the local lalal land clinic for observation that evening.

Ok raza there you have it have a great day