hejola report for 01302018.

Hejola report for 01302018.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am General Fideo Vermicelli con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Crack makes a big come back:

It seems that regardless of what sex you are and how small your clothing fits you there will always be a crack showing. Barrio educated person told us today que more and more cracks are been seen by all ages and it’s disgusting that many of our children have to see grown men and women cracks in public!

 

Fight between men and women increase for the month of December 2017;

Barrio study showed that an 85 % increase occurred during December where family members fight the most. The study showed it wasn’t sure what it could have been the reason but every indication show money problem was the major factor and alcohol was the second reason. But we all know that!

And finally barrio prepare for 2018:

Yesterday the barrio welcome wagon approved its budget for 2018, by increasing it by $12 more than last year. We are very excited about this huge increase in our fiscal budget. The budget for this year totals $12 plus $12 more is a sign that Trumps tax cuts are helping the hood. Yea, right!

Ok Raza don’t spend that stimulus check in one place!

barrio stimulus check for 2018.

Barrio Stimulus Check for 2018
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am General Fideo Vermicelli with some dam good news for the hood. We just got word from our barrio founding fathers and a few mothers that the barrio lotto 2018 will be giving out 2018 Barrio Stimulus Checks for those families that might be eligible. The only major problem is how much money is there to give away?
Now with that information is Johnnie el quemo!
Si thank you Fideo, well the major problem is that el barrio lotto was able to generate about $2000, this past year and the barrio lotto folks decided to give the left over funds, of course after administrative cost. So here is the breakdown on how much will be available for those that might be eligible?
Total funds : $2000.00.
Administrative cost 20%= $400.
Cost to print forms =$100.
Cost for el primo to deliver forms=$200.
Cost to let people know = $300.
Total cost for stimulus check program=$1000.

In addition there will be a tax charge of 38% from the $1000. That will be available to give away. That equals to $380. Now ,leaving a grant total of $620.00, to be awarded.
Then of course, there the issue of local tax and state tax, and federal tax, and barrio tax, which come to a total of $358. Leaving available $ 272 for our barrio stimulus check for the year. After that a small lotto fee of $200 will also be add on. Alright that leaves you a grand total of $72.
So as you can see Fideo, its lots of money for a few folks. So don’t lose hope and be sure and be looking for that check.

hejola report for 01232018

Hejola report for 01232018.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Help again I am Maria La Bandia con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio over react on barrio shut down;

A group of barrio members were able to remove barricades that were placed at the end of third and Wells thinking that the city was going to shut down more streets on our side of the tracks. It always seems that the city instead of repairing streets they just shut them down, well not this time said Oscar Westworth Saenz. We will sit here as long as it takes to make sure no more streets will be closed instead of being repaired!

 

Ten protestors arrested at barrio city hall;

Another false alarm happened this weekend that caused a handful of barrio resident to be arrested after they were told que the Christmas lights will not be turned off this year. At least ten persons were arrested after they took it on their own to start removing them lights from several building in the hood. You see the barrio resident have a good reason to remove them due to the fact that they will be billed to keep them on for the rest of the year. We don’t need any more bills …

And finally barrio members waiting for refunds;

Yesterday a barrio leader said that there will be very little refunds send back this year for those persons that claimed senior citizens not related to them. You just can’t go and claim folks on your taxes if they ain’t part of your family. And if you do than you just might have to redo them taxes to get it right.. so if you already have plans to cash that check you better think about it…

Ok raza and for those haters, we don’t forgive or forget.

hejola repot for 01102018.

Hejola report for 01102018.

Ccwhnn.

Kingsville,tx. Como estan I am bill diaz con todays barrio award winning barrio headline news. But before we get to it le’ts make sure we know that the i.r.s. is always watching you. Now for that dang report.

Barrio cash cab get rob.

City and county leaders lay out goals for our side of the hood for 2018.

And finally illegal gambling up for 2010.

This pasted weekend was the most the constable and barrio task force 666 had arrested in illegal gambling. From illegal Mexican bingo to regular bingos, card games , dice games, fighting cock games, dog fighting, arm wrestling, leg wrestling and big boo contest were all shut down this week on a giant effort to lower the crime in our hood. The constable tells us que almost 25 person we taken in and later released on bond. Many of the folks were elder men and women, especially the big boos. You wouldn’t believe who was involved. The constable tells us que many of the folks that were arrested were winter Texans looking of some excitement. The trial for all this gamblers we will be held in a few weeks.

Yesterday afternoon city and county leaders presented their goals for our side of the town for 2018. One of the biggest items was to reduce the number of outside bathrooms, better known as odd house. The city and county have determined que 35 percent of the hood still didn’t have inside bathrooms. Our goals says henry smith, one of our city leaders, is to encourage our good friend to bring their shit inside their homes. In doing this, the city is thinking of offering some low interest loans to those folks that might qualified in order to improve their homes. If you are interested and still have your shitter outside please contact our barrio community center for more details.

And finally Juan Salinas reported that the only tricycle cab on our side of the tracks got rob. He told the constable que three men on three bicycle managed to pull him over and took all his money and the back tires of his three tire tricycle. Mr. Salinas also stated que he will be out of business for a few days until he manages to up con two more tires. If anyone has any information pertaining to this matter please call the constable.

Ok raza have an awful day,, lol just joking………

Well there you have it, have a great tejano day.

hejola report for 01092018

Hejolia report for 01092018.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Bears and packers fans strap it on con Dallas cowboy fans at football cook out.

Shooting at the corner of third and wells leave several die.

And finally law suit file against el constable cadena.

Yesterday afternoon, la families Gamez filed a law suit against our own constable for chopping the 35th oldest tree in the hood, that was located on wells street. The law suit states that the constable trespassed into the Gamez back yard without permission and chopped their tree down in order to get to them boys shooting chickens. The law suit did not include the two boys because they had permission from the yard owners allowing them to climb that tree. If the constable is to be found guilty he could pay up several hundred dollars in fines and some time doing some community work.

It seems que someone always has to spoil things for others. That was the case Saturday night when a large number of chickens were shot dead and a few got away. The shooting was set off by several young Hispanic trying to see if they could hit a chicken coop that was located about three houses doing wells. This young men climded a tree and just starting shooting. The constable was able to get those boys down from the tree by chopping it down. Charges are pending.

 And finally, Yesterday afternoon for some odd reason a few dozen Dallas cowboys fans attacked a football cookout con chingos de Bears and packers fans. After the constable and his barrio task force 666 broke it up a half dozen of cowboys were arrested and some were taken to ST. Paul’s medical center for observation. The bottom line was que the Bears and Pack outnumber them cowboys. How about them boyz.

There we have raza, stay home and stay warm.

Hejola report for 10252017

Hejola report for 10252017.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again mi raza como estan, well there has been chingos de action this past few days so let’s get to our award winning barrio headline news:

barrio robber busted at st. paul’ medical center.

It seems que Chuy Ruelas, age unknown (32), visited the st. paul’s medical center late last night as he fled from El Barrio taco stand #7 that he had robber. It seems que chuy was running through la comadre backyards and didn’t see la commadre Maria Munoz cloth line which knocked him down and fell into a hole right next to her back yard, causing him to tumble down that deep hole and into a bigger hole. In doing this he lost control of his gun and some of the stash, during his fall. When he reported to the medical center he had a broken left leg, right arm and a real serious burn around his neck. The staff at the medical center were very suspicious when they asked him on how he was going to pay, and he pulled out the deposit bag from el barrio taco stand #7. Staff then called 918 and contacted el constable Cadena. Chuy was arrested at the medical center.

Barrio doctors tell us que increase of tapeworms.

Yesterday afternoon el doctor DR. CHON CHINGO CHON, medical leader for St. paul’s medical center gave Westside residents some real bad news at el barrio cruz rojo community center. He told the crowd of about 3 people que eating taco and other great Mexican dishes was a very serious matter for all off those that lived on our side of the tracks (Westside). He pointed out que some of those tapeworms grow inside many of us and can get up about 100 feet in length. He recommends que in order to prevent the little worms, he recommend eating more Chinese food, who by the way owns one right here at the Westinghouse barrio mall. At the same time he gave out discount cards to all the crowd. He plans on publishing his report in a view months con el Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter.

And finally family feud kills several family members.

According to constable cadena report, he tells us que two barrio families that have been feuding for ten years created a big ass ruckus late last night. It seems que la family Martinez killed la family Munoz’s cat, so when el senor found out he went over and shot la family Martinez prize winning pit bull. So when Mr.. Martinez found out he went over and shot Mr. munoz and his oldest daughter. By the time el constable got there, several shots were fired at his barrio security force 666 and wounding four of el constable staff. Furthermore before he could shoot el constable cadena, he manager to shoot el senor Martinez in the head several times, fatally wounding mr. Martinez. Charges are still pending due to the fact que no witness were alive to point out who fired the first shot.


Ok raza, just to make an odd point, keep your cats and dogs locked up.

hejola report for 10122017.

Hejola report for 10122017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, texas. Hello again I am David Duran with today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio use cars not giving test drives.

Barrio cat lady fined for having too many cats.

And finally some good news.

The barrio and city and county workers spend all weekend putting up all the old 1968 Christmas decorations up again. The barrio leaders were a bit disa...ppointed que the workers didn’t bring the 1958 decorations they had requested instead of the 1968 ones. But the leader of this year’s barrio Christmas spirit told us que she was still going to push for the older ones come next year. The difference is that the older ones were so much prettier. Just for the record, the decorations have been a good deal for the hood; every time they put up those lights it seems that there is less crime in the hood. Many say it’s because they love the holidays and are in good spirit all year round.

This morning the barrio animal control unit went over to la commadre Tina V. Gonzales and arrested her and then released her, when she went on a rampage on all of the animal control unit workers, who were trying to round up all 250 cats, she had in her back yard. After wrestling all 5 workers to the ground she was told to let them men go and they would drop the charges and leave her stinky ass alone. Before the animal control folks left they dropped a ticket in her mail box and made and made a run for it. Oh, by the way la commadre is 6’3” and weights 350 lbs. and is an ex professional barrio wrestler. One of the animal control workers told us que she caught all five workers off guard.

Yesterday it was announced that the five star car lots, which is 5 used car lots dealers found at the Westinghouse barrio area, will stop giving car test drives. Yes in the past we would allow a new customer to drive our new used cars for a test drive. Well it seems that all five used car lots have agreed that unless the customer is real serious about buy the car they will have to purchase $5 dollars of gas for that test drive.

 
Ok I am David Duran sitting here in my back yard property looking over the beautiful lake, gee have a great Tejano day.