hejola report for 09172019

Hejola report for 09172019.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again  I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

How old is too old:

Carlos Domingo, 87, and his girlfriend Brianna Sanchez, 86, are too old to have sex ("adults," according barrio state law) but apparently too young to exchange nude photos. Carlos, was charged with five counts of "sexual exploitation" -- for receiving "sexts" from Brianna and having nude photos of himself on his phone (i.e., "exploiting" himself). Brianna accepted a lesser sentence and is serving a tedious, restrictive probation; she had also been charged with self-exploiting. After much criticism for threatening felony charges and sex-offender registration, prosecutors offered Carlos a similar tedious, restrictive probation sometime this September. Both are residents of el barrio casa for the old prevents.

What’s the matter with you?

Martin Solis, 42, on the lam since last week, while wanted for armed robbery at the other side of the tracks, was arrested in this pasted when the constable spotted a man matching his description -- notably, his one-of-a-kind tattoo of a machete just below his left eye.

Even in the hood, the barrio courthouse forces visitors to walk through a metal detector after leaving pocket contents (wallets, keys, etc.) in bins. Esta Way, 34, faced several charges from a courthouse visit last week because, among the items he had to remove from his pocket were a drug scale and a razor blade. After a short chase of ten blocks (and a Tasering), he was arrested.

El compadre is not well;

According to a divorce petition filed by Carman Munoz, her estranged husband Johnny B. Good Moreno drove her to post-traumatic stress disorder with his "lifestyle." According to the petition, Moreno sometimes wore a chastity belt to work and, during sex, wore diapers and "a horse tail" (with an anal plug) and "gallop(ed)" around their home, used a litter box, had his wife "walk" him on a leash, dressed like a "sissy maid" named "Mary," and wanted to be fed and diapered like a baby. Said Munoz's lawyer, it was "a bedroom nightmare."

Volunteers needed:

Yesterday barrio district attorney Maria La Bandia, announced that she was seeking volunteers for a forensic test to help his case against Don Lunas, 42, who is scheduled to stand trial for the death of his wife. The volunteers must be female, about 5 feet 5inches tall and 240 pounds, and will have to stick their heads into a toilet bowl and flush. Lunas, is charged with drowning his wife in a commode, but his version (which the prosecutor believes improbable) is that his wife committed suicide by flushing herself. But by the end of this trail we ultimately sure he will pleaded guilty to reckless homicide, say the DA.

Ok raza have a great day.