hejola report for 04122016

 

 

Hejola report for 04122016.

Cchwnn

Kingsville, TX. Hello again Raza I am Bill Diaz con our award winning barrio headline news:

Vato’s loco volunteer firefighter fund raiser.

Bad debt brings good news.

And finally some real good news.

It was a matter of time that those two groups in the hood that hate everything had its members arrested after they tried to stop the re-opening of a new Tejano gay bar. We just can’t allow that kind of people to enjoy our rich and culture traditional music, they are going to ruin the whole onda things. How in the world can two men or two women dance Tejano? The bar is still schedule to open this weekend, oh by the way the new bar has no name yet.

Yesterday la familia Munoz were trying to see if they could get some kind of educational loan for their youngest son Juan Munoz, age 58, it seems that all this family have bad credit and didn’t realize que college loans don’t do a credit check which was the good news.  Now the father Munoz senior, age 78 can now depend on that student loan que his youngest son is going to get to be able to purchase that giant 48 inch t.v. good luck in school Juan.

This coming weekend, our local locos volunteer fire fighters will be standing at the corner of third and wells collecting donation in order to purchase fire alarms for every barrio home. The idea behind this says the main loco que we are asking for donation to purchase instant popcorn pans to serve as barrio home fire alarms. The way it works he says is if the house get hot enough and is on fire there are two things that are going to happen, one is if you smell the popcorn you then know that your home is on fire, and now if you here the popping they you know que the house is on fire. The locos hope to get enough donations to purchase at least 250 packages.

 

 

Well Raza have a great Tejano day.

hejola report for 04112016

 

 

Hejola report for 04112016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. Once again I am bill Diaz. Y Como estan todos. When will we stop you say? Never never ever will we stop covering barrio events never never. Ok I feel better, now for today’s headline news:

Barrio experiment project center truck rolls over in hood.

Pancito el chiquito passed to the fourth grade at the age of 19th.

Barrio private eye student missing on assignment.

And some darn good news:

How long has it been you say? Awhile!

Pancitio el chiquito parents, pancho el chingo, and que told us today his son was passed to the fourth grade at our barrio school. Pancitio is the oldest of 23 children. He has promised to be a better kid this year so they can pass him to 12th grade, where he really belongs. Pancitio is 19 years old.

Yesterday after noon the whole Westside of our hood was on a stay inside your homes till we tell you so, says one of los vato locos volunteer firefighters. It seems que a truck for our local experiment project center where they do special things to ducks and geese rolled over. Anyhow, somehow the driver was driving around that hood and somehow turned the truck over and a shit load of them ducks and geese got away. So the city didn’t want anyone get exposed to them farm animals. So they tried to ask everybody to stay indoors and if you see one doesn’t think it’s a miracle because it’s not.

But several crack heads were seen trying to catch one of them farm animals, but the law officers weren’t too concerns about them. The whole Westside is being asked to stay indoors till dust. That is when the geese and ducks hit the trees. An investigation will be conducted by the center and our local constable Cadena.

And finally one of el ojo barrio private eye students has been missing now and has not come back and nor seen for two weeks...! El ojo is el barrio private eye did not tell us the name of their missing student but did say que he was on assignment and had disappear for a while claiming he was investigating some illegal aliens.... huh sounds kind of fishy, We will keep you informed on this missing person case.

Ok Raza got to go, have a great Tejano day

hejola report for 04082016

 

Hejola report for 04082016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,texas. hello raza I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Vato arrested for misuse of his rectum.

Andrew Dominquez Cantu arrested for his skills.

Hood member also hit by falling bomb.

And now for some good news.

Well when you try to avoid getting arrested and avoid paying tow fees, why not just drive home and get arrested there.

Yesterday afternoon el constable cadena and his staff went to the site where Eliseo Everett claimed que as the naval air station pilots were practicing a bomb fell out of the sky and nearly hit him. Everett 53 became a local news celebrity. Mr. Everett, who owes his ex-wife more than $10,000 in overdue child support, had not heard or knew of his whereabouts until his face popped up on almost every TV Station and newspaper. He was arrested this morning at his home.

Now before you blow this out of hand or tell me what the hell is wrong con my world, el primo Rolando gomez, was arrested and face charges of trafficking in stolen property, but it seems que esta vato must have been in jail before. But when he searched at the local jail, the jailer noticed que esta vato wanted to go to the bathroom. Once there he was restrain by several officers that noticed que he was walking kinda weird. Once he was restrain, the officers called the 811 barrio vato locos  volunteer firefighters were able to pull the following items from his rectum: syringes, matches, 2 lighters, a $20. Of heroin, several grams of marijuana, assortment of pills,  his lone star card, a mobile phone, and its charger, and a pager. Additional charges will be filed, his rectum was release on its own merits.  Give your ass a break man.

And finally, Yesterday afternoon mall manager and owner Gloria Guerra called in the constable to come and arrest or remove esta way Andrew from the front door of the mall. Esta way Dominquez has a weird act, which is he hammers nails into his foot, which he does to collect tips from customers. The reason why Gloria called the cops was due too the bleeding results from this little act.   El constable said that they could ask him to leave the grounds but couldn’t arrest him for this very painful act.

Ok raza have a great day.

hejola report for 04072016

 

 

Hejola report for 04072016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,texas. Hello again I am bill Diaz con today’s barrio award winning headline news:

Senior citizen basketball final score was close.

More riots are expected this weekend.

And finally so darn good news.

Since gas prices are lower and our great president really has not do with we encourage all of you don’t drink and drive because johnnie law will lock your silly butt up.  And for those that can’t afford a turkey, a chicken will do just burned it a bit to give it that dark look. Have a great one and peace and love my friend.

As we all know que some weekend will bring in lots of relatives que we either don’t like or really care for pero como they are relatives, I think we can survive. That’s the warning que el constable cadena has given everyone in the hood “look don’t be starting chit con los primos ok no butts or ifs, if we find out that someone is starting chit you all going to jail”!

Yesterday a very low profile championship to end the winter league basketball game was held at the only barrio senior citizens center. The game was between Los Viejitos de la calle vs. Los vatos mas Viejitos del barrio. Please note that the age group for this game was 80 years and over. The final score after one hour, well let’s say walking back and forth was Los Viejitos del barrio  scored 7 points vs. the actually winner Los vatos mas Viejitos scored 9 points. The team Capitan Angel Flores age 91 say “chinga it was hell of a game”.  The loser Capitan Luis Gaytan age 87 say it was kind of an unfair game for us, due to the fact que they had more 90 year olds than we did. You know he said que experiences count while you on that court. But he did say we can beat them at softball this coming season.

Ok raza don’t forget we love, we care, and send money.

hejola report for 04052016

Hejola report for 04052016.

Cchwnn

Kingsville, TX. Hello again I am David Duran con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Two old man get fired.

Tejano get together launch public service announcement.

And finally some good news.

As you might already know that “the rain in Spain doesn’t really stay in the plains”, a one act play written and produced by our own barrio author, Julio Moreno Gonzales Garza Garica, a recent barrio community college graduate.  Ben, is his nickname told us que he is very excited about this one act play que he was able to write and produce in 5 minutes. I love this idea and really hope que many of the barrio  resident come and watch the grand opening, the date has not been posted yet due to a few problems with finding a location to show it, he says.

Let me put the finger on you committee a well known Tejano group were very proud of the new public announcement that their group will help people do their income tax this year. Even if the dateline has pasted says the leader, Russell Rufus Redneck, we still have lots of seniors in the hood that can be added to your barrio income tax. If interested please read the fine print on the announcement.

Yesterday several old guys were fired from the Westinghouse barrio mall for going overboard with their welcome wagon service. You see the mall hires senior to help around the mall and well know just having old people around was a cool idea until yesterday when a few old guys took their job a bit too serious. The problem was when they tried to help a few young women in selecting a bathing suit for this coming summer. The odd part was when both men showed the women the g-stings they were both wearing. These caused a big uproar, and were reported to the mall management and we forced to leave the mall area. No word if they will be rehired.  

Ok raza have a great Tejano day.

hejola report for 04042016

Hejolia report for 04042016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again raza I am bill diaz con todays award winning barrio headline news:

Three comadres arrested for fighting at barrio Easter Sunday wedding.

Two compadres arrested for breaking cascarones and damages.

This year recycle can event was successful.

And now some darn good news.

Went the wind blows it blows all my thoughts away.

This year’s los barrio youth were able to collect chingo de recycle cans for its annual recycle can hunt. Mary Morgan Gonzales, ex wife to Manny Morgan, now married to La prima cousin, Henry Gonzales, this year’s recycle can chairperson, told us que it was a very successful one, and not only that the whole barrio was able to throw cans almost everywhere and anyplace. It was a blast and we are looking forward to next year.

When things seem to be going smooth all hell broke loose, that was the case of la familia martinez this passed easter. los dos compadres had warned everybody there que el first one que breaks un cascaron en their heads were going to hear about. well no shit , el compadre pedro didnt take the treat serious, so he took it on his own to take the challegence del otro primo, y ponle con los chingagos. Both men were arrested and released late last night.

 

And finally it seemed que las tres comadres, which all have been married at least several times got into a fight for the bouquet when the newly bride did its traditional toss. Once the fight stopped all three women were arrested and charged con damaged done to the hall, wedding cake, some table decorations, several bride maids outfits were torn and other stuff that has not been accounted for.

 

Well there you have it

barrio stock market 04012016

Barrio stock market report for 04012016.

cchwnn.

Kingsville,Tx. Hello once again como estan I am urbano yosabatodo con this week’s barrio stock market report.

First of all on the serious note, barrio stock market report is on its tenth year providing raza consumers con the best darn investment information available on the barrio net for barrio folks.

For real folks, we assure you que your investments is our barrio concern, but always remember, our slogan “if you can’t eat it don’t buy it….”.Now for that barrio stock market report:

Los tamales: First and foremost, los tamales market is a completely independent market that is monitor by the two ways, a person who can buy or make them yourself or a home or buys them at a major chain store. Los tamales, "Business in most hoods or barrios continued to express concern over the rising costs of masa and other stuff you use to make them," the report said, although tamale brokers say que manufacturers and business service providers were able to pass along "part -- if not all -- of these cost increases along to their customers, si that’s you and me. And since a lot of holidays are just around the corner we do encourage folks to buy them now at a reasonable price and not wait for the projected increase coming in a few weeks. Tamales remain stable at $6.50 a dozen. Nobody cares more about your wealth and the future of your interest in buying and eating tamales then we do here and you there. .

Los taquitos: Los taquitos , The high price of taquitos we noticed this week is due to the fact que el barrio inflation has increased by at least 20 percent for the end of this quarter compared to last year. The report published by los dos brother Lopez associates a few weeks ago, suggested que an increases in wages for some and very few for others, that more and more barrio folks will be eating at home for sure, and we will see a decrease on retail prices "generally speaking they will subdued," the Lopez report said. At this time taquitos remain $1.35  each , cup of coffee is extra. By the way how many refills can a person get anyhow?

Las empanadas: currently, las empanada makers are going to be required only to product-limited amounts due the high prices of pumpkins, sweet potatoes and pineapples. In addition our empanada war of 2006 has made some major chances con esto companies here in the hood. Last fall, Consumers were very patient along con some advocacy groups increased pressure on trying to bring empanades down to four for a dollar, and more filling in them. Which both you and I know they won’t happen. The price of empanadas is $.59 cents each, and will remain stable for the rest of this quarter.

Cheap beer: cheap beer went down a bit this past week. We found singles at the lowest yet this year, $1.99 cent each. Six-packs remain stable at $4.95 a six pack. Real beer just above, $6.50 a six pack.

La barbacoa de cavesa: La barbacoa de cavesa has done real good here in the last few weeks. It seems que it has not taken the challenge serious this year from those darn llama breeders. Now for la raza that own livestock, they won’t worry too much, since the production on llamas meat will not affect them any time soon. One vato says que it will take several years before, if not longer que la llama meat has an impact in the hood. La barbacoa de cavesa ended the week at all time high $7.50 lb.

Barrio want ads:

M/0303d45 lost two tires from small car when it was parked. Small reward for returns or better offer.

M/0306e46 small birds and small squires for sale. Come by and horn one long honk. Real cheap, you name price. Don’t tell anybody if you came by, ok, and make sure it’s one long honk, two honks if for something else.

M/0306t34 ten pairs of barely used jogging shoes for sale or trade. Found shoes on the street and no one claimed them. Some look good and others smell bad, buy separate or the whole lot.

M/0306t38 nice set of used furniture, several chairs and large sofas. Have been sitting out side less than a year. Still look good if not frames can be reused. Will take best offer or trade for goats or sheep and a few chickens. No llamas.

M/0303d45: two tires for sale from a small car, not sure what size, make offer.

M/0306t36 : used men clothing and suits. Size 45 to 65. make offer for the whole lot.

M/0306t38: Will take best offer or trade for goats or sheep and a few chickens for several bikes I have . some need minor repairs and could be used for parts. No llamas please.

Realtors report:

Well folks it’s time to get those garage sales signs up and we are encouraging those that stopped selling stuff to bring them out and let’s get to it.

Thanks raza, if you drink do drive and if you don’t drink maybe you should.