barrio stock market report for 05312019

Barrio stock market report for 05312019.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Urban yosabatodo con today’ stock market report, but before we go there, our barrio moron Tomas Trumpas as put a tax on anything and everything coming into the hood for eastside, northside, and southside. Since we live on the west side , this pendejo has a lot of explain to do con su pincha ideas. Oh well I feel better and now for our report:

Las empanadas believe it or not took a dip this week. From .89 cent each it dropped to .69 cent each. We believe its just a matter of time they will go back or even higher.

Los tamales have beenp retty stable this past month maintain a price of $7.50 a dozen, but hold on too your pants, we foresee them going to $10.00 at the end of the month.

Los taquitos, well here they have been pretty stable and will stay that way till the end of the year. Barrio restaurants taquitos are at $1.65 each, coffee is extra and watch out for refills.

cheap beer was at $6.99 a six pack. Please note que we never have and never will, unless someone pays us but we don’t mention beer’s names. If you work for a beer company and want our opinion, hey just mail us a check and will be glad to.

And finally have a great weekend, “ if you cant eat it don’t buy it”.

hejola report for 05302019

Hejola report for 05252011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again raza I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Vato loco found in sewer hole.
New female police officer on makes first arrest.
And finally vato flies off his car while hold his mattress.
Yesterday afternoon el constable noticed que Benn Perez was riding on top of his car holding on to two mattress, when the constable tried to stop the moving vehicle, the driver took the turn to fast and Benn fell off the top of the car breaking both his legs, two arms, his back, a few ribs and a burse on his head, besides that he will be alright. No charges will be filed. 
Maria shine made history yesterday when she finally had a chance to ticket and arrest the same person in less than ten minutes. It seems que she observed a driver swerving in and out of traffic along el barrio main street. When the man was stopped he allegedly compound the first problem by offering the officer five dollars to get rid of the ticket and then said how about I give you a kiss? He was charged with reckless driving and charged with a felony bribery charges. Oh by the way his moped was toll away. 
You could hear someone yelling for help, but couldn’t really tell where it was coming from says Maria Garza as she explained to this reporter when she discovered a naked man had fallen down a 50 foot sewer hole. When the vato loco’s volunteer fire fighters arrived at the scene of the crime they helped esta loco named Danny Saenz who was naked and seem to be high on some kind of drug. After being care for the volunteer’s determined que he had been smoking PCP, and smoking marijuana and seemed que he had consumed hallucinogenic mushrooms. The volunteers confiscated the drugs found and was taken to St. Paul’s medical center in critical conditions. Charges are pending. Esta vato.
Have a great day.

hejolia report for 05232019

Hejola report for 05312012. 
Cchwnn. 
Kingsville,tx. Hello again, Bill Diaz con our award winning barrio headline news: 

Three arrested con evil weed. 
Barrio big plans for 4 of July turn out small. 
And finally school is out for monkies. 

Yesterday the only school in the nation for pet monkies informed us que school was out for the summer. So if you had or have a monkey registered at that school you need to go by and pick it up or else. That was what the school administrator told us yesterday during a very exclusive interview. Yea. 

Let me put the finger on you committee has layout this year’s barrio 4 of July theme. The theme that was selected is “ keep it American”. The whole committees were excited and are going to paint the whole hood red white and blue with tax payer’s monies. The group hopes to convince the city to dish out 20 thousand gallons of paint for the hood... wow. 

Yesterday evening el constable did his job by arrested three vato’s standing at the corner of third and wells for selling evil weed. This weed or evil weed was just plain lawn grass with a little mint in it and dried out a bit. The constable took a hit from one of the cigarettes they were selling and didn’t get a buzz. He told them three boys que if you going to be selling chit, might as well sell the real thing. Charges will be filed. Oh by the way el constable will keep the 3 thousand cigarettes he took from them three as evidence. 
Ok raza keep it Tejano.

hejola report for 05 17 2019

Hejola report for 06022011.
Cchwnn
Kingsville,tex. Hello again I am Bill Diaz with our award winning barrio headline news:
Joe aka Jose arrested for using his wrong name.
Ten new barrio members move out of the hood.
And finally English is our language.
Yesterday afternoon Mr. Pete Bob and history teacher was fired due to the fact que he made the children in his class speak English only, after the school district had agreed that bilingual students could speak their language, a policy that Bob never agreed too. The school district comments on the firing of Bob was that Bob told his students if you wanted to speak your language, go back from where you came from. Daniel Lopez one of the students that filed the complaint told us que he told Bob que he came from across the street. 
Yesterday a weird thing happen, about ten new barrio members moved from the hood after being relocated only two months ago across the tracks. When asked why they were moving out of the hood, the reasons were all the same, it looked to hispanic. They wanted a better life and a better neighborhood.
Yesterday afternoon, Joe was arrested for matching another person with the same name. After the constable review his id. He determined que his name was Jose and was released due to wrong name. when asked why was he using the name Joe, he answer that was the name the school assigned because the teacher wanted to make more American.
Ok raza have a great American day and remember we love this country.

hejola report for 05162019

Hejola report for 05162019.

Barrio farmers going broke:

Well actually there isn’t real barrio farmers, but maybe barrio gardeners have gone on strike due to the fact que all them farmer aids that are going on seem not be taking barrio gardeners! Look says barrio farmer leader Juanita Cabbage head Nino we just don’t understand why them folks can get aid and we don’t see a single penny off it, not fair!

Evidently, Cabbage head don’t realize que the bail out is for folks having more than ten acres not a barrio lot... pess hejola.

Parton me my friend;

Yesterday el barrio leader Thomas Trumpas pardoned a hand full of friends that included 10 birds, 10 parrots, 2 donkeys, 4 mules, 6 cats, 43 dogs and a few others from crimes done in the past. He told reporters and the hand full of 2 athletic supporters que all the above were victims of fake reports and fake crimes; look shitting at the mall parking lot and other public places, or at a parade, and even at your home or that barn or pet shop isn’t a crime, I do take a chit here and there sometimes and you don’t see anyone wanting to arrest me!

And finally having sex will be illegal sooner than later;

Barrio leader tomas trumpas has proposed that all folks that are thinking in indulging in any type of sex either doing it, thinking about it or even watching it might be a major crime (moral crime) and will be fined a lot of money (food stamps payment plan), his plan will monitor all the places that sell, stimulate sex or any such things as selling rubbers, videos, dirty and nasty butt pictures will be picked up and send to his office to determine the crime. His plan also includes those candy machines found in both men’s and women’s public bathrooms. He was saying you do the crime you do the time!

Keep your legs closed and your mouth shut, have a great barrio day.

hejola report for 05152019

Barrio hejola report for 05152019.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas, hello again I am General Fidel Vermicelli con today’s award winning barrio headline news;

Barrio leader has barrio melt down:

On his usually morning walk barrio leader didn’t realize que he had forgot to put his pants on about 2 miles into his walk. So barrio members called 918 a reported a clown walking around half naked. Once the constable saw who it was, he told the caller you were right it’s a clown alright. El constable picked up the barrio clown oop I mean barrio leader a took him home. But el constable did report him to a 988 number to report unusually activities by an elder member of the hood.

Two barrio gang members were shoot;

Shooting at folks isn’t a funny matter but in this case two vato’s member of “la Veinte gang” told us que those bato’s from the gang across the street “tu abuela”  were the ones that shot at them with paint ball guns and ruined their paint job on their low rider car, but a member of “tu abuela” told us que it couldn’t have been them due to the fact “tu abuela” members don’t own any paint guns but did say que it could have been the gang member from across the other side of the street “hijos de hejosue”. El constable tried to contact that gang but no one answer on the phone.

And finally barrio funeral home has a sell:

Yesterday La movida Funeral home announced que it was forced to have a sell on collection of false teeth it had collected throughout the years from dead people. The owner told us que they had no choice but to sell them due to the fact que many of the die relatives had died or move away or who’s that or talking me. But he also thought that the reason no one answered was because they might have thought that they were bill collectors still trying to collect for the services they provide in the last 20 years that some folk forgot to pay. Public notice; the funeral home has stopped the practice of digging up dead relatives and dropping their dead corpse on your front lawn due to lack of no payment or late payments not made.

Ok raza just pay your bills man.

hejola report for 05132019

Hejola report for 05132019.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, texas, now with our economics Johhnie el quemon, hello high spender are we ready for our award winning barrio news:

Barrio tariff is on; east side vs Westside;

Yesterday both sides of the tracks were very very very surprise to see newly placed barrio toll booths on our west side wide roads coming from the east of the tracks. This something that was drawn up late last week on a ten day drunk run by our barrio leader the barrio Moron, Thomas Turmpas, says that he thinks it’s the best idea since the inventor of a vacuum cleaner which he had something to do with (yea right). Trumps said that he had a vision one night on how to increase the income the wide side can make and by placing them toll booths it promises an annual gain of about $150. A day (based on the number of cars that go and come back from the east side).

Barrio block roads in protest of Toll fees;

After the toll booths were placed a hand full of 5 persons decided to take the law under their own hands by blocking all the exists going to Eastside. Look says the new no toll road groups we all work over there and have to come back to the hood, so the fees would only really hurt the folks on this side that go to that side. The question came up is why anyone would want to come over here! If you didn’t already live here.

And finally new ideas just plain old ideas;

When you think you have a new idea but realized it’s just an old idea was what was happening here on Westside, you see there hasn’t been a new idea since 1956 and that same idea is still an idea and has not been worked out yet. This new idea was an old idea that many talked about around the time the first idea came up with. So many figured que since it was just an idea than it might just work now as a new idea. the final result was that no one really had a new idea but a bunch of ideas.

Ok raza whatever you do don’t get an ideas;

hejola report for 05082019

Hejola report for 05082019.

Cchwnn,

Kingsville, Texas, hello I am bill Diaz con today’s barrio headline news;

Barrio schools closed down due non-payment of bills;

It seems that someone at the barrio admiration forgot to pay bills this month so the school had to be shut down for a few hours until all the utilizes were back on. El barrio leader tomas trumpas told us que that is when you don’t have the right people at the right place to run things like I do….

Drama concerning food stamps hits a new level;

Barrio leader tomas trumpas was asked about this idea of buying food stamps and he still stands firm on the fact that he didn’t buy any stamps and not at 2 for1, again today he respond by saying there is no way in jelly beans that I would do that, and not for 2 for 1.

And today barrio teacher walked out;

It seems that somehow some kids found out the teachers income was not enough for them to live on so they, the teacher new leader,  send out a letter asking for small amounts of money from student parents to make ends meet. After the few schools on this side of the tracks found out que they were going to be cut of any donations made to their “let me help my teacher out fund” walked out from classes.

Ok raza appreciate life and a job you got.

hejola report for 05012019

Hejola report for 05012019.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio talking parrot brought in again for Questioning:

It seems that constable and his staff might have arrested the wrong parrot who alarmed his owners about a drug raid. Now it seem that the real bird that finger its owner was not the parrot they brought in by the investigators. Instead the original parrot 1 told them that Higo parrot 2, the second parrot, was the one that spilled the beans on their own, and alerted that the cops were coming, and he had nothing to do with this crime, but just so happened he was in the wrong cage at the wrong time (sure). The parrot 1 told them that the only thing he knows about this whole thing is “Peter wants a cracker” no but a short shave! Ok veto……

Two vatos arrested for !!!!

Yesterday at the corner of third and wells two vatos were arrested for !!!!!, the police report didn’t really tell us what!!!! Was, but it made a point that it was a crime to !!!! The police report further states that there has been increase of!!! And were planning a barrio cracked on such activities. What the!!!!

And finally barrio laundry mat burned to the ground:

Yesterday around 5 am in the morning the barrio vato’s locos volunteer fire fighters didn’t respond to a 1  ½ Alarm fire around the corner of third and wells, where someone set on fire the only hand wasted laundry mat, it seems que someone started the fire where all the wooden laundry hand wash boards were set on fire. The vatos didn’t respond to the fire due the protest they are having against el barrio leader Tomas Trumpas, who  made fun of them when he said que their union was a bunch of drug addicts and smoke weed and a lot of other stuff. The barrio vato’s loco leaders told us que he was right about all the above for expectation of doing a lot of other stuff!

Charges will be filed against someone says el constable who by the way was at the firehouse at the time of the 918 call.