hejola report for 05162019

Hejola report for 05162019.

Barrio farmers going broke:

Well actually there isn’t real barrio farmers, but maybe barrio gardeners have gone on strike due to the fact que all them farmer aids that are going on seem not be taking barrio gardeners! Look says barrio farmer leader Juanita Cabbage head Nino we just don’t understand why them folks can get aid and we don’t see a single penny off it, not fair!

Evidently, Cabbage head don’t realize que the bail out is for folks having more than ten acres not a barrio lot... pess hejola.

Parton me my friend;

Yesterday el barrio leader Thomas Trumpas pardoned a hand full of friends that included 10 birds, 10 parrots, 2 donkeys, 4 mules, 6 cats, 43 dogs and a few others from crimes done in the past. He told reporters and the hand full of 2 athletic supporters que all the above were victims of fake reports and fake crimes; look shitting at the mall parking lot and other public places, or at a parade, and even at your home or that barn or pet shop isn’t a crime, I do take a chit here and there sometimes and you don’t see anyone wanting to arrest me!

And finally having sex will be illegal sooner than later;

Barrio leader tomas trumpas has proposed that all folks that are thinking in indulging in any type of sex either doing it, thinking about it or even watching it might be a major crime (moral crime) and will be fined a lot of money (food stamps payment plan), his plan will monitor all the places that sell, stimulate sex or any such things as selling rubbers, videos, dirty and nasty butt pictures will be picked up and send to his office to determine the crime. His plan also includes those candy machines found in both men’s and women’s public bathrooms. He was saying you do the crime you do the time!

Keep your legs closed and your mouth shut, have a great barrio day.