barrio headline news for 03192020

Barrio headline news for 03192020.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello raza how is that Corona Hangover going? Now for our award winning head line news:

Injuries during a toilet paper riot;

La Commadre Nelda Rivas is suing one of el barrio’s super market for the injuries suffered last week we she was overcome by customers trying to get that last roll of toilet paper.

Her law suit claimed injuries to nearly every single part of her body. According to her petition: "All the bones, organs, muscles, tendons, tissues, nerves, veins, arteries, ligaments ... discs, cartilages, and the joints of her body were fractured, broken, ruptured, punctured, compressed, dislocated, separated, bruised, contused, narrowed, lacerated, burned, cut, torn, wrenched, swollen, strained, sprained, inflamed and infected."Dang, sounds to me a like pretty severe calcium and iron deficiency.

Barrio voters want to leave politics to the real prostitutes;

The result from the two weeks ago election are in and our favor candidate Juana La Cuban a known sexual service-provider ran for barrio leadership was not elected. Juana a well-known prostitute with a police rap a mile long lost her race against a real prostitute Tomas Trumpas, barrio leader. We asked her what will she do now and she said I am going to open and operate Slave Cave for 80 and over, and a phone-home cleaning service until next years’ election.

Barrio getting crazier;

Acting on the complaint of an 89-year-old female motorist in the hood, the constable stopped a driver whom she said had pulled alongside her at the corner of third and wells, flashed him by pressing a nude photograph of herself against his window. Charges are pending!

How desperate can you get?

 Henry Susana Al-Pino, a room cleaner at the Barrio Alley-Way Express was arrested at the only local Wire Union and charged with forgery after improperly trying to cash a check made out to his employer. The man produced a photo ID that gave his name as Mr. "Barrio Alley-Way." After questioning him, the Wire Union manager said, "OK, Mr. Express, I'll be right back (with the money)" and then called the constable.

 And finally what went wrong;

Barrio school Principal Pablo Cortez, pleaded guilty to smashing glass doors and windows of buildings along corner of third and Wells Street with a slingshot. El constable suspected him breaking hundreds of other windows in hood, since he is also co-owner of barrio Glass Company, trying to increase his elicit business.

Keep it up and you can go a long long way.