hejola report for 12142015

Hejola report for 12142015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello once again I am bill diaz con double your barrio news for today y tomorrow. The reason for this is que our creator is going to an office party and might not be able to make any more sense. So let’s get right to the award winning barrio headline news:

>Barrio man found asleep on railroad tracks.

>Barrio couple sleeps inside el cona Lozano cash and carry sports complex.

>New way to pay at the store by using your finger print.

>Older barrio couple caught burgler and force him to clean their home.

Barrio dr. arrested for writing on bathroom walls.

And finally, el barrio research has published their findings of what goes on in the hood and what is important to you con maria la vandia.

It seems que maria la vandia never lets us down con su chingadies, she has just finished a research paper on what goes on in the hood and what is important to us. Here is a small example of what the research has found:

1.She found out que a barrio man many have as up 72 birthdays in his life time, at the age of 63.

2.She also discovered que many barrio members didn’t know que some months had 31 days and others have up to 28 days in a month.

3.she also found out que its illegal in the hood for a vato to marry his widon’s sister in law. So as you can see this research has lots of new discoveries that we didn’t know que you didn’t know, but since we all know now, there will be no further need to learn anymore.

Yesterday afternoon el senor want to be dr. philp garica was arrested at the barrio mall restroom while he was writing on the bathroom wall his ten ways to get laid in the hood. Gloria Guerra mall manager tells us que charges will be filed against esta way, Gloria told us que she was sick and tired of having to paint the john ever other week. Its seemed que esta dr garica had been writing his theories inside bathrooms all over the hood, for several months, charges will be filed.

La familia ben y beth luna were surprise the other morning when burglar woke them up asking where they had the money. Well while beth tried to get her purse, ben slapped the shit of the burglar and making him drop his gun. At the point ben got his gun and both beth and him held the burglar hostage and watched him clean their home while the held him at gun point. When the constable made it to the lunas home, the burglar was having a snack , while waiting to be picked up. Charges will be filed for both parties, one for burglary and the lunas for hold a person at gunpoint.

Los dos cholos super market both are college engineers have designed a new to let children buy beer for their folks. They have designed a new way to charge you at the store by storing your grown finger print at the stores computer and this would allow your children under the age of 21 to buy beer for you. We still don’t know what’s the big deal con this new fade.

It seems que el barrio loco was admitted to el barrio st. pauls medical center with a condom glued to his thing. It seems que esta loco just found out what sex was about an thought that if he were to glue a condom to his thing he could save money. He will release from the center sometime next week. By the way esta loco had it glued for two months now.

When el constable cadena got to the sports complex several complex employees had la comadre y el compadre ben Gomez surrounded after they were found both of them asleep inside one of the bathrooms. Once the constable questioned the couple, it seems que they got so drunk que the both fell asleep in the john. No charges will be filed but will be charged for staying overnight.

El barrio rail way reported yesterday que they drove over a vato asleep on the tracks. It seemed que panchito Gomez was so drunk que he fell asleep in between the rail road tracks. The el barrio 501 rails told us que he saw esta guy asleep and when he stopped the train to check on him he was still asleep. I quess now you can say que not even a train can wake him up. Oh by the way he lost his left arm and his right leg.

Well there you have it folks hope to see you all sooner .