hejola report for 02282017

Hejola report for 02282017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,Texas. hello again raza I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio leader Tomas Trumpas set new rules for youth baseball programs start this week.

Barrio announces compadres awarded for feyos winners.

And finally barrio fun run re-schedule and re-named for this weekend.

Our park and recreation officers informed us que this week was the opening of youth baseball season for 2011. He wanted to inform all the parents que they need to act like their age out in the park. The park staff will not tolerate any misconducts by players, parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, friends, coaches, managers, bill collectors, drunks, gays, single persons, and who ever goes by the games. So if you cannot act your age, don’t go to the games.

Barrio leader Tomas Thumpas announced that the fourth of July fun run was going to be move to april 5, and the April fool’s day fun run would be moved to the fourth of July. There was really no reasons given just that the “here boy fun run” was still going to be held through the hood and all the barrio folks have been asked to let their dogs loose so this year’s finishing times would be a bit faster than last year. So if you are not ready for the run you still have several months to get ready for that April fool’s day run in July. Pesse hejola.

In other news, the annual feyo contest was held in a secret bar and announced the winners of this year’s Feyo contest, who were Johnnie be Good Morales, and Juan Pena, both men were awarded a free trip to the pluga across the tracks and a few meal at the local net and boat. Congratulations feyos.

Have a great Tejano day.

hejola report for 02272017

 

Hejola report for 02272017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. hello raza I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Talking Parrot returned to pet shop, talks a lot chit.

Barrio tamale brokers arrested at tomas trumpas press hearing.

And Trumpas supporters; Barrio women rally for equal bar time, just want to have fun!

Yesterday afternoon several tamale brokers were arrested as they made their way up to the front of the room where a press conference held by barrio new leader Tomas Trumpas to discussing the new tamale organization was going on. In their efforts to disrupt the conferences they threw tamales, tortillas, and few American sandals at the Trumpas sitting on the stage. El constable had to arrest Manuel Gonzales, Juan Gonzales, Pedro Gonzales, Johnnie Gonzales and Lulu Gonzales all brokers for the Gonzales Tamales and Tortillas franchise. Charge will be filed.

El constable cadena and some of his staff were called to “el barrio pet shop” where it seemed que a fight broke out among the owner of the shop and a customer. It seems that the customer had bought a talking parrot and he seemed to be a well matter bird there at the shop, but when the parrot got to his new home, that was a whole different bird. The customer told this reporter que this parrot talked a lot chit and said just too many bad words. Once the customer took the parrot back for a refund the owner showed the customer a sign that said “no refunds on sales, especially the talking parrot”. That’s went the customer slapped the shop owner. The constable took the parrot in for questioning. It seems like the parrot was the only witness. No arrest so far.

And finally, yesterday the gang called “la girls Del hood”, an organization made up of divorces women and Tomas Trumpas supporters rally for more equal time at bars. The groups wanted to let people know que even though we don’t have a job, and are not looking for one, we do have time to go bar hoping. Please note that in order to be a member a woman can’t have children or have children under the age of 32. You see, says one of the girls, that’s what this club is all about, we want women to have a good time without having to leave a bar too early because they have children at home. Another member told us que this thing about job hunting is not going to happen,we expect them jobs come looking for us. (Good luck).

Ok raza have you hug a tejano today

hejola report for 02222017

Hejola report for 02222017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. Hello raza I am Gloria Guerra con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio tensions high about tamales.

Several barrio members win awards.

And some good news about this pasted Valentine’s Day.

I am sure you didn’t know que the most people get divorces during this period. And did you know que men get beat up more than women during this time. And did you que a man would almost do anything to keep their partner happy, and did you know que some partners will spend money they don’t have just to make you happy. And did you know que the light bill wasn’t paid because I bought you that kinky valentine’s outfit que you wanted and I ended up wear it. Now wasn’t that fun.

Ten barrio men and two barrio women were winners of this year’s recycle contest. The idea was to see which barrio member could donate more recycle cans for this year’s barrio recycle Easter hunt. This is where barrio youths learn about recycling and keeping the hood clean. The barrio leaders decided some time ago to ban stuff Easter eggs shells con confetti and instead decided to hind recycle cans. “It’s the mess that darn confetti leaves”, says one winner. That is why we helped this good cause. Now that our new leader Tomas Trumpas ( who hasn’t been run off yet) wants to keep the hood beautiful again and again.

Yesterday was another day off unrest when several barrio members tried to crash the new tamale organization office under the new barrio leader Tomas Trumps. Three to four persons were arrested along con ten cats, twenty dogs, and few other pets we couldn’t describe. The constable says que it’s a matter of principal and la raza have a right to decide about the future of tamales in the hood and around the  county and across the street.

Ok love birds have a great day.

hejola report for 02222017

Hejolia report for 02222017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello once again como estan, I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Drunk vato at education rally,

La commadre accepts admissions to college at age of 73.

And finally, Trumpas new work program, didn’t work out well.

It was a bad idea for the get go, says el constable Cadena when ten county inmates from across the tracks were assigned to hard labor work on our side of track escaped with the approval from our new barrio leader Tomas Trumpas. El constable to us que he told Trumpas que we should not allow any of them bad hombres over here and now the constable is asking barrio members in assistances in capturing three black men, five Anglos men and who knows what they the other were. If you know anything about them or seem then there is a small reward for any information leading to their arrest. Oh by the way all of the escapees are wearing pink shirts.

La commadre Jane J. Jimenez, age 75, was the most happiest person en el barrio when she was presented her acceptance letter to the barrios higher education center. El senor Manuel Martinez, the director of the center tells us que Jane was the oldest person that they had every accepted to continue her education after high school. We had to wavier her application just for mere fact, que she wanted to continue her education. You see it took Jane more than five decades to get that GED. And now she is really proud of this achievement. The only problem we can see says Mr. Martinez, let see how long it will take for her to get her college degree.  Oh by the way she was asked if she wanted to borrow money to go to college, she said she didn’t want to pay them back all her life at the age of 73.

And finally, el amigo Pancho trinity Munoz was arrested this weekend at the Westinghouse barrio mall when he entered the educational mobile home wanting to give blood. It seems that Mr. Munoz thought that the educational mobile was the blood mobile and he was determining to give blood. The educational mobile staff asked Mr. Munoz that he had to leave since he was not there seeking information on higher education. El constable cadena was called to the scene where he found Munoz drunker than a skunk and smelled like pee, sitting outside in line with a few beers in his coat pocket. He was arrested for public borracho and smelling like shit.

 

Well there you have it raza, time to go and take a bath, and please have a great day

hejola report for 02222017

 

Hejola report for 02222017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am David Duran con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio worried about increase of elder’s having sex.

Naked man report seen in barrio alley, during the mid-night hours.

And finally some good news.

We always like to report the good news about the hood, today we  would like to announce the engagement of the daughter de la familia Garica, Mary Lou Garcia, age 66 is going to marry el senor Walter M. Mendoza, age 32, a barrio insurance agent. The family Garcia are so glad que Mary lou finally found someone that is willing to share her life with, Or the rest of her life with, the marriage is schedule to take place sometime in 2033.

El constable is asking for your help, in busting or finding out who is that naked man that has been seen running around in barrio alleys. We heard and we have seen pictures but have been unable to catch this dude. If you have any information or news about this person, please contact our office, oh a small reward is been offered.

And finally, Yesterday a barrio study done by who knows who, reported que barrio seniors, age averaging from 65 to 89 years of age are on an increase of having sex in public. El constable told us que 2017 has started out with a big bang compared to 2016. Last year we only had about 10 such cases now we have around 325 cases and we are not even in the first quarter of the year. El constable will meet with local senior citizen organizations to discuss this matter.

Ok raza have a great Tejano day.

hejola report for 02202017

 

Hejola report for 02202017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am bill Diaz back from a non-pay vacation with our award winning barrio headline news;

Barrio Tomas Trumpas cardboard image posters appear.

Trumpas accused of smoking lettuce!

And all I want is your tortillas!

I guess the old saying that says one does not fall into excellences one must strive for it don’t apply over here!

Yesterday at a rare press conference esta bato Trumpas say that he wanted to go across the tracks that he has condemned and steal all the material that in is needed in making tortillas. He said why all those fools over there and not the fools over have to buy expensive stuff to make our own tortillas when we can go over and just take their tortillas and the stuff needed to make them here. Many of the people present at the press conference were not sure what hell he was talking about!

Many in the hood are wondering how long will it take to remove Trumpas from office. One comment circulating in the hood is that he smokes Lettuce! You see base on what I know about herbs and I have a herbal booklet that you can buy  says commader Nancy Lopez, it is possible to get high on lettuces that and make you do stupid things and say stupid thing. Ms. Lopez is a leader in the hood due to the fact que she owns the only herbal shop and knows about the different kind of weeds that are in the hood!

 

Yesterday el constable Cadena had to decide rather to remove a cardboard image of barrio new leader (who by the way hasn’t been run off) Trumpas that was placed at the corner of third and Wells Street. He told us que it could be a joke or a joke on us. He decided to leave it on the corner for a few more days so pets can relief themselves.

Ok raza lock your doors and window the bull chit is getting deep!

hejola special report Trumpas

Hejola special report Trumpas place ban on going out!

02172017.

Ccwhnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello Raza I am General Fideo Vermicelli con this new exclusive order just released by the new barrio leader Tomas Trumpas, who by the way hasn’t been run out of town YET!

The new ban would ban married women from going having their night by them self’s. You see somewhere down the line says el Trumpas que this married women wanted a night with their friend and do whatever they wanted without what’s his name.

The ban would require married women to go out with their spouses more often and have good time and a wonderful time together; there isn’t a better time to build a family relationship but to make it a family fun night. Now the ban would also require more law enforcement agents to monitor places to make sure you aren’t skipping out on your old man.

Of course many are going to complaint and write fake news about this ban and it’s all true but regardless what those liberal women that don’t wear bra’s anymore say tuff luck, you got married and now you are stuck in that situation. A fine will be issued to any women not with their spouses at a public function where beer is being sold.

More details are forth coming.

hejola report for 02172017

Hejola report for 02172017

Cchwnn.

NEWS BREAK: TRUMPAS ASKING FOR PAY RAISE!

Kingsville, tx hello raza como estan, I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio home interior busted.

How to keep your mother in law in check author arrested.

And finally some good news.

Ten little monkeys were rescued yesterday from 32 dogs and 15 cats that were chasing them in the hood. El constable and about 20 brave volunteers were able to catch the majority of them monkeys and were able to fight off some of the homeless dogs. The city  and barrio leaders will discuss this matter at the next city meeting schedule for March 2033.

La commadre Nancy Alaniz was arrested yesterday afternoon when she was displaying her brand new book named “ How to keep your mother in law in check”. One of the ways as explained in her book was to slap the chit of your mother in lawn next time she got out of hand. Well that didn’t go very well with certain mother in laws that confronted Nancy at the mall. In one case Nancy actually slapped a so call mother in law to demonstrate que it don’t take long for your in law to snap and keep her in check. Charges will be filed against her.

And finally,Yesterday el senor Henry Gomez was arrested as he acted out his own home interior program and had nothing to do with the real so call company. Gomez had been giving his barrio home interior displays in home that folks believe que he was on the up and up. But reality skunk in real quick when those families that had hosted his program were robbed when he went to their family bathroom. He managed to roam around folk home taking whatever he could hind in his pants. Charges will be filed against esta vato.

 

 

Ok raza be cool and stay warm.

special hejola report for 02162017

Hejola special report for 02162017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello I am AL cardo Samudio con a very special report about our man, not my man, your man Tomas Trumpas.

We were just informed que esta Trumpas has been crossing over to the other side of the tracks late at night, after he issued a warning not to cross over there. Our sources say que Trumpas has a bad habit of eating cold corn on the cob and the only place they sell them is over there because over here we eat them hot.

An investigation is going to start says one of the barrio leaders that esta vato que trying to tell us something and does the things that he doesn’t want us to do. How can anyone believe esta vato!

Furthermore he also has been using his time to promote his underwear company but demanding all staff “to feel the breeze”, which by the way is his slogan for his barrio “Feel the Breeze underwear”. We feel that if he wants us to feel the breeze we should all go outside and feel the breeze! Which by the way is made on the other side of the tracks?

Now we also found out that he has increased his security staff by a large number gringos of 5 persons compared to the 2 persons gringos previously on board. How can a person ask us to stop hiring when he is the one that has hired more staff?

Furthermore he told a couple of bad hombres over here that he was going to bring down the 1958 Christmas decorations that are being kept on to keep the hood in a happy mode, but not willing to replace them or not willing to fix the streetlights all over the hood. In other words keep us in the dark!

Now the other thing that trumpas here doesn’t understand que immigrants come from all over, especially here in the hood. Remember our children and you, many come back with husbands, wives and many children that they might have inherited with their new marriages. So in trying to outcast a certain populations isn’t really realistic.

And finally he is proposing a day without gringos to be in effect sometime next week. He said that now que many of them whites and some Raza can’t come back to the hood, we need to demonstrate que we don’t need them over here.

So will keep you informed on the results of all this charges and results of them.

Remember Raza our safety comes first, oh by the way many in the hood think he should keep his freaking mouth shut

hejola report for 02162017

Hejola cold weather report for 02162017..

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. Hello I am the barrio weather guy San Juan Nortenio, con the barrio award winning headline news reports:

Homie el taqucha didn’t see his or her shadow.

List of barrio things you shouldn’t do in cold weather.

And finally, barrio shelters are full.

Barrio residents have been told not to come by our barrio community center due to the fact que it’s already full. We recommend que you stay home or walk around the mall for a few hours and then go home. But whatever you do don’t bother us here. We just don’t have room for anymore persons, said the center director.

There are lots of pendejos (of course in a modest way) in the hood that think they know what to do in cold weather. Regardless if you do or don’t here is our list of somethings you shouldn’t do:

1. Avoid drinking caffeine or alcohol if you think you might have hypothermia or frostbite.

2. be careful with candles. Do not use candles for lighting if the power goes out. Use flashlights only

3. Inspect fireplaces and wood stoves yearly. Use a sturdy fire screen with lit fires. Burn only wood. Never burn paper or pine boughs or old bills, or that sears catalog you still have around.

4. Only use food from the freezer. A full freezer will keep the temperature for about 48 hours (24 hours if it is half full) if the door remains closed. Use your non-perishable foods and staples after using food from the refrigerator and freezer. Here is a good chance to use those food stamps.

5. Check smoke alarms. Make sure alarms are working properly and replace batteries as necessary. And for sure don’t be smoking weed under the smoke alarm, the cops might just come by and see what’s going on.

6. Remove wet clothes immediately and help warm your core body temperature by wrapping yourself in a blanket con la commadre or drinking warm fluids like hot cider or soup.

Again Raza, as temperatures drop, los vato’s locos volunteer firefighter’s urges residents to take steps to guard against hypothermia and other emergencies common during severely cold weather. This cold front will brings quiet dangers such as brutally cold temperatures, said el mero loca volunteer and everyone, especially senior citizens and children, should take precautions to guard against hypothermia and especially now with the heavy winds and extreme cold,

And finally, Bad news hit the hood today at the barrio traditional Taqucha fest, where Homie el taqucha, the Westinghouse barrio mall pet was supposed to come and look for its shadow, pero Como it was so cold que esta taqucha didn’t even come out of its hole to see if there was any sun at all. El barrio forecast till Easter keep warn and keep cool. Chinga.

Ok Raza I am San Juan nortenio a have a warm Tejano day

barrio music award winners for 2016.

please note this bands are make belief and for some freaking reason your name came up, sorry.

 

2016 barrio music awards winners.

Cchwnn.

 Kingsville, TX. Hello once again my name is Santa Cecilia director of on the road again, this year’s coordinator , 2016 barrio make believe conjunto music award winners  but first I want to thank the tons of 5 persons that responded thank you again an now the wieners;

Categories for 2019 annual music awards winners:

1.       most ugliest band members 2016:  Juan Reyes de la barrio banda band 2033.

 

 

2.       most ugliest male singer 2016:  Pino Huerta del los tres feyos conjunto.

 

3.    most ugliest female singer 2016: Suelma Garza del group Suelma.

 

4.        most worries live performance band 2016 : Chuy Bueno y su conjunto de palito blanco.

 

5.        most worries cd cover 2016:  “Una Noche con esta feyo”, Pino Huerta del los tres feyos conjunto.

 

6.    most over rated band for 2016: Alex Colin group Rapido.

 

7.    song of the year for 2016:  Qué triste dejaste mi parroit y yo! By David Little y los little guys.

 

8.   The worries no show band for 2011: Suelma Garza del group Suelma.

 

Again thanks to everyone for submitting this groups,

Thank you and have a great tejano day.

hejola report for 02152017

NEWS BREAK: Tomas Trumpas arrested, details later.

Hejola report for 02152017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s barrio award winning headline news:

La comadre plea’s guilty,

Several comadres leave town to go shopping,

And finally I am too good for the hood.

 

Those were the last words we heard from la commadre Rosieta Bueno after she promise never to shop in the barrio again. It seems que the hood is so behind in fashion que I have to go dallas o Houston or even three rivers to do my shopping. One shop owner whose name we will not mention, said que if la comadre wasn’t so fat she could find what she wanted here.

In other fashion news, it’s a fact que the word is out que not to shop in el Westinghouse mall porque they are out of style and chingos de commadres are preparing to take a long trip to dallas, houston and even three rivers or somewhere like Waco or something to find a better style of clothing. The only bad part of this whole matter is que las commadre wear blue jeans and have to go to the men’s section to find the right fit. Pesse hejola.

And finally la commadre Luz Diaz was found guilty for stealing, cheating, lying, and just plan being ugly to all her friends who donated chingos de clothing, money and lots of goods when upposedly her home  burned down. It was discovered que she had made all this up. She will be in court this coming Monday.

Well there you have it raza and for those who think que the fashion in south texas is behind the times. Yu are right. How far does a person have to go to buy men’s blue jeans.. I am bill diaz.

hejola report for 02142017

Hejolia report for 02142017.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Gloria Guerra con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Barrio ministry increases in the hood.
Laundromat’s clerk disarms thief....
Dang what’s next?
And now some darn good news.
Does a man really have to tell a woman he loves her if he just met her? And does a man really have to tell a woman he wants the helper but with very little money? Oh by the way today is the most violent day of the year, Now our news;
It seems that what goes around comes around, that was the case in two separate accidents. First of all Luis Moreno was driving a stolen barrio pizza deliver car who was trying to flee el constable Cadena near the corner of third and wells, but accidentally crashed head-on into another stolen vehicle driven by Maria Gaza. Seconds later, both Luis and Maria were both fatally hit by another car driven by Henry Lomas as the both made a run to escape the crash scene. Now here is where the story gets kind of odd, the man driving the car that hit both Luis and Maria was a 76 year old man, Henry Lomas that was so mad that he had to stop and see who he ran over suddenly hit one of the wrecked cars. His anger made him grab a knife and stabbed a tire on one of the wrecked cars with such forces that he wound up slashing the main artery in his leg. He was taken to St. Paul’s medical center for treatment. Charges are pending.

My god how many ministries are needed in the hood? As many as we can say el vato now a minister for one of many ministries ‘La Vida Loca con Dios” has decided to come to our side of the tracks to heal all the bad hombres over here, and buy doing this the first action will be to run off all the druggies and dealers. That is where the problems start said Vato, I know I was one of them but god has changed my life and I want to do the same to many of my bro’s and sister’s.
Late Sunday night Mingo Luna tried to rob a 24 hour laundromat somewhere down wells and Third Street. But didn’t realize que the laundromat’s overnight clerk, Nieoma from Wyoming was a two degree black belt, simply took Mingo’s gun away in a flash and shot him three times. No charges will be filed but Mingo was hospitalized in serious condition.
Ok raza be careful and drive safe.

hejola report for 02132017

Hejola report for 02132017.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, Texas. Hello I am Johnnie el Quemon con todays award winning barrio headline news;
Mac the rooster found dead.
Mall mail man shot....
Damaging insects invade the hood.
And finally some darn good news.
Well as you might already know that as baseball and softball seasons has started we would like to remind parents, relatives, and coaches that our children learn from our actions either on the field or outside the park, that we should always tell ourselves it just for kids to have fun and get to meet new friends an learn. And not a place to go an make an ass-h… out of yourself.
El barrio constable Cadena told us que since it hasn’t rain in a few months the increase of dangerous insects have been bought into the hood from across the tracks from dry wood used for heating over here. He told us que now that Tomas Trumpas has imposed a rule about thing coming from over there to over here, hasn’t help in the spreading of the insects but we are hoping que in the long run this banning will help all of us.
Henry Garcia had been delivering mail at the mall now for about 10 years and nothing serious had ever happen to him, now there were cases where he might had gotten the wrong address, lost a few packages, and almost run over but this Saturday was a bit different. He got shot by a 6 years old using a water gun right at his good left eye. He managed to escape the slaughter by using his carrier bag to protest himself from the onslaught, and made a run for it. At one point Henry couldn’t find a place to hide from this kid, so he decided to take matters into his own, by tricking the kid by acting like he was dead! Once the kid approached he managed to tackle the 6 year old until Constable came and arrested the kid. Charges will be filed for sure.
The last few weeks “Mac” el barrio famous rooster was found shot in the head late Saturday night. The constable tells us que they still don’t have a clue of who did it or why, well we have an idea of why, You see this rooster has or had a bad habit of crowing around 5 am for the last 5 years, and lots of residents had complain about but there wasn’t anything barrio animal control could do about it.
Ok raza have a great day

hejola report for 02102017

Hejola report for 02102017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,Tx. Now our educational specialist Maria La Bandia, si my friend we are on the right direction in educational our poor little kids. And in doing so our new barrio what’s him name Tomas Trumpas made  breaking moves never seen or will be seen again. But for now here is our award winning barrio headline news:

Oh! Susanna appointed to barrio school board director.

Home school application increase after the Oh! Susanna appointment.

Ten new Private and charter schools plan on opening real soon.

Barrio School prepares to raid home grown schools.

El constable cadena was just issued an order from our new leader ( please note it was an order of fries to go) barrio leader Tomas that if he heard or saw kids not going to school all the parents relatives will be arrested include them cats. There is no reason why our children can’t go to school regardless If you agree with them a—hoes over there.

 Ten new private and charter schools have announced that they plan on opening a heck of a lot of them school here in the hood. Senior Watts told us today; it seems that no one wants to see a person that has no experiences leading a group that has less experience run our educational system and that is why we here and you there will do that services and better!

Never before had barrio member thought about keeping them kids at home or even teaching what they need to know about the future! One barrio member who submitted an application said we now have a perfect valid educational option. Great! And not an Oh! Susanna!

How bad can it get when a woman who has no education, not even a ged, or esl or whatever appointed and in charge of barrio education system, what was he thinking ask  a barrio member who’s name we won’t mention (Ben) told this reporter at the press hearing this morning after hearing Trumpas new appointee. Those were the comments made after we found out that Oh! Susanna would be in charge now. Dang we are in big trouble in little barrio..

Ok raza get those playing cards ready Freddie!

hejola report for 02092017

Hejola report for 02092017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx. Hello again mi raza como estan, I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio members insist on leaving Christmas lights on.

Ten arrested in drug round up.

And finally, negative comments made about our hejola report.

In the last few days we have received so much hate mail que we are wondering if it’s the same person that wanted us off the internet. Huh. Like we said before we are not going to stop writing regardless of our childish writing skill but plan to increase our reporting in the Kingsville area. Thanks .

El constable has not released the names of the ten barrio residents’ names that got busted this pasted weekend. Our sources say it could be a bunch of persons that have really nothing to do. The list will be posted on our website says el constable.

Yesterday a rally of about ten persons demonstrated in front of our barrio community center showing support for keeping the 1957 Christmas light decorations up for the rest of the year and not a few weeks as proposed by our new barrio leader Tomas Trumpas. The barrio commission was deciding whether to take them down before or after Easter. This sends a message to the barrio leaders’ que we want those lights up all year round regardless who is going to pay for the light bill. This issue will be discussed at the next city commission next month and not on 2033 as Trumpas was recommending

Well there you have it for today, haters have a great day.

And special shout out to a V. Ruiz.

hejola report for 02082017

 

Hejola report for 02082017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Veronica la lesbian

Trumpas plan to pay for barrio wall by selling used panties!

Barrio leader aid says tamale war never happen?

And la commadre Porn channels gets cancelled.

For an odd reason the most popular porn channel “ la commadre” was shut down for no real reason, and we tried to contact la commadre but no one answer the phone. The most popular show in the hood featured many of the well- known commadres that love to take their cloth off in public and do nasty things will no longer be on line due the new measures barrio new leader Tomas Trumpas! He told us during his campaign that if elected the first thing to go what “las Commadres”. Well he did!

Yesterday Debbie Guzman, the newly ex stripper spoke person for el Tomas Trumpas told us que we shouldn’t start believe everything you read, especially that cow chit story  about the Tamale War of 1998, it never happen and it impossible that no major network talked about, never the less the result of that story! (Editor’s note it did happen and we are proud covering that story back than). The story was about a barrio gringo member Ruffs Russel Redneck wanted to ban folks from making tamales at home for the reason he got food poisoning from tamales that were label wrong; beef were label chicken and chicken label beans and beans were label beef and masa was label pork and pork was label corn. Since Ruff can’t eat pork due to his health controls eat a dozen and nearly died from them.  Of course we all know that measure was never passed.

It was noted to today at our daily barrio briefing by our new barrio leader Tomas Trumpas introduced his new idea on how to make money in order to pay for that wall to keep cats out of the hood by installing Vending machines in every street corner along Third and Wells Street. The machines would be selling used panties donated by his family members, “what else could I and my family do to suppose our cause”. The vending machine idea won’t be looked at till the next barrio leaders meeting schedule for some time in 2033.

Ok raza there you have it.

hejola report for 02072017

Hejola report for 02072017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again back from a few days’ vacation, now for our award winning;

Barrio new leader wants to build a wall.

Trumpas drives himself into the poor house.

Large protest prepared for 2033.

A group of very unhappy residents have agreed to protest some of the ideas and things that Trumpas has done within a few weeks but have schedule a protest sometime in 2033. They are hoping que by that time Trumpas has either died or not re-elected by them.

Trumpas told a small group of reporters that he should have never run for office that doesn’t allow him to work on his business. He told them that this was the biggest mistake he has made in several years by running and winning. It’s driving me crazy and I am losing money as we speak. His recycle companies have made him a very happy camper. I think someone famous once said” americans are the only folks that drive themselves into the poor house!

Just a few hours ago Tomas Trumpas announced that he will continue to look for funds to build that wall along Westside rail tracks that divide the town. We need that wall to make sure that we don’t get any more stray cats on our side. My god how many cats does a person have to own before it’s just to many!  Plus the damage they do to our back yards, alleys and that awful cat chit smell! Trumpas plan to pay for that wall with funds he hopes to generate from selling recycle cans, bottles and anything and everything that is resalable.

Lock your door they are coming to take us away!

hejola report for 02022017

Hejola report for 02022017.

 Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. Hi, Bill Diaz here con our award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio main drag shut down after awards were announced riots.

Hot shorts on a comeback.

And finally income reminder.

Yesterday the senior citizen center reminded barrio members that are still filing their income tax for 2016 that the center still have several seniors not claimed this year were waiting just for you. Come on by and pick a senior and file.

Yesterday at the 17th annual barrio model show the return of hot shorts for big women made a big splash this year. It seems they thought of putting a swimming pool in the middle of the walkway would look cool. Well it did look cool that’s if you looked hot!! And that is what happen con la commadre Maria Zamora, was modeling a pair of hot pink shorts, with tall blue and white go go boots, with a large black belt with a giant buckle, tripped on the rug and fell into the small pool. It took los vato loco volunteer firefighters several minutes to get la commadre out of the small pool. La commadre was not injuried but those hot shorts got wet and started to reduce in size. A large curtain was torn down to cover la commadre who looked as she was wearing a barrio tong. No charges will be filed.

Yesterday evening a small riot was started after several gay tejanos made up of aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, primos, primas, and a few characters were asked to leave the TWO TONS OF FUN TAVERN, a barrio gay bar after their singer didn’t win the main award. Some started throwing bottles and cupcakes at the giant 12 inch TV at the bar. That is when Big Joe mama, bar owner, asked them to leave the place. So the furious crowd packed their things and took their complaint outside the bar and blocked the main drag for several hours until the program had ended. No arrested were made but something or someone dress like a movie start was hauled off.

Ok got to go raza.