hejola report for11162015

Hejola report for 11162015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. Hello again I am bill Diaz back from assignment but here today for our barrio headline award winning news. But first of all things have claimed down a bit over here at the hood, con tanto pedo this few passed days, and hoping que we can all get along. Now for that headline news:

Two commadres arrested for fighting,

Someone stole life-size cardboard cutout of constable cadena.

And finally a crack head busted con su pet pig.

It just seemed odd que esta loco was riding his bike without any tires late last night says el constable cadena ,pero what was more odd es que he had his pet pig riding in back of the bike sitting inside a kids bike carrier. Once the constable tried to stop esta loco to ask him how much for the pig ,the loco took off on his bike, of course not being able to out run the the constable squad car, esta loco finally fell down and gave up two blocks down the street. Once the constable came up to him, the crack head told the constable que he threw his shit away. The constable went back and picked up the stuff and arrested the crack head, oh by the way how much for the pig, the constable asked.

It seems que Juan Martinez had read somewhere que if you were to put a cut out of a policeman inside the store it could deter shoplifters at his stop and shop. Well its seem que el constable cadena life size cut out was stolen yesterday afternoon when Mr. Martinez placed el constable cut out, outside the store for a second, and when he returned someone had stolen it. Dam said Mr. Martinez and it was doing such a good job. Mr. Martinez is thinking of doing one of Britney spears to bring in new customer. Please note that in bishop texas the city police use to have a cop car parked at this corner with a stuff rabbit in the driver seat.

In other news it seems queue la commadre tancha y la commadre Nancy Garcia were both arrested at the corner of wells and Third Street yesterday afternoon when one of las commadre claimed que la commadre loved to gossip and people believe her. I don’t mind says one of las commadre que la commadre likes to gossip pero not about me and I confronted her about it. La commadre slapped la commadre a few times until la commadre got out of the car and started to fight la commadre. It took several folks to separate them two, and they held both women until el constable cadena came an arrested both of them for believing what they hear through the grapevine even if they have evidence to the contrary. El constable tells us que gossip most of the time is more powerful than truth.

 

Well there you have it raza, and for all those that keep on winning the same awards over and over congratulations. I am sure that award looks great next to the one you won last year, I am bill diaz and I don’t need no stinking award.