sancho clause a barrio xmas story 2013

Sancho clause a barrio xmas story 2013.

Ccwhnn.

Kingsville,tx. It was the night before xmas, y sancho clause was drunk like usually. As he tried to round up los little deer, well, tried to start  his john deer riding mow. It was his annual thing, where all the children, well all the adult women he dates in the hood waited for this cold night, well it really was a humid one, but as he managed to climb on his riding mow he moved as fast as he could go, well let’s say he moved as fast as the mower could go.

As he rode down that county road as fast as he could go, el constable cadena was on the lookout for him. There were several reasons why, it seems que at this time ever year, esta pincha sancho clause had the bad habit of drinking and driving.

 

 And then making sure que he went an visited todas las movides que he has or let’s had him and some he done before. Many times before many of los husbands de estas women or las movides would complaint que he was making too much noise and que the songs he was singing weren’t even xmas songs,.

Well this xmas was going to be a little different, you see el sancho clause this year set up a booth at the corner of third and wells and was charging to taking sancho clause pictures with him. Business was real good until xmas eve. It seems que sancho forgot to put on his sancho clause outfit pants on, and instead was not wearing anything but his chonas better known in the hood as his speedos . Several good families and their children stopped to take a holiday picture con esta clause. Pero realized que esta vato was drunk and wearing only his underwear or his famous speedos.

 Several families did call el constable cadena, to come and check esta way out. Sancho clause was arrested and will not be home for xmas again this year.

The moral of this story is que when you are having a good time con either your wife or girlfriend or even la commadre and in some cases el compadre, stay home, and if you drink don’t drive and if you drive don’t drink. Have a safe Christmas. This announcement was paid for by the committee on let me put the finger on you committee.

hejola report for 12162013

Hejolia report for 12162013

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx. Hello again I am bill diaz con today’s award winning headline news. Gee counting down towards xmas. Gee all I want is a go go girl. But for now let’s get to our award winning headline news:

Oldest member in the hood gets visit from former first grade teacher.

Constable cadena bust barrio only prostitution ring, dang it.

And reward for stolen “my kid”.

Our creator Daniel, had a cat named my kid, well this weekend my kid was stolen from my home and we are offering a large sum of hugs and lots of you know what for his return. Ever single crack head in the hood has signed up looking for my kid. We just can’t wait to see who took my kid says Daniel the creator. He is very heart broken says a person who didn’t want to give us their name (Bill) “it was a friendly cat that made Daniel’s day, almost every day”. If anyone has seen my kid please contact us here.

In other news, Yesterday afternoon el constable cadena y su barrio task force 666 shut down a prostitution ring which had been in business about two years. Several male and female customers were arrested at the home of la commadre Gloria Sevilla, owner of the home. She told this reporter que she didn’t know que the girls she had rented rooms too, had a small business going on. “gee if I would have known it would have been a different story” says ms. Sevilla. Ms. Sevilla believe the girls when asked about all the visitors they had, they told her que they were students doing either homework or research. And a second home was also busted at or near the corner of third and wells. The owner of the home was not there but el constable and some of his cops waited awhile till the owners showed up. Oh by the way no one was taken in,huh….constable cadena tell us que both of these organizers were facing charges with promoting prostitution. A fourth degree felony.

And finally ,It seems que Don Pedro Ramirez just turned 85 years old was real surprise to see his first grade teacher at the party. Maria Gonzales now 103 years old was very excited to see que Don Pedro grew up a very handsome young man and did something with his life. It’s been more than 70^th years since I had last seen him, and he sure has changed a bit. But I am so glad que he made it out of first grade, says Mrs. Gonzales.

Well there you have it for today, counting towards xmas, con sancho clause.

barrio stock market report for 12132013

Barrio stock market report for 12132013.

Cchwnn,

Kingsville,tx. Hello again and ask we approach the end of this year we seemed to be preparing ourselves for this coming general major election. But before you go and vote make sure you invest on our barrio stock market. Now for that award winning barrio stock market report:                                                       

                                                                

Los tamales > up $5.50 a dozen.

Los taquitos^ stable $1.29 cent each coffee is extra.

Las tortillas > going for the sky up $1.50 a pack. Dang.

Las empanadas> up $.85 cent each.

La barbacoa de cabeza > up $6.50 a lb. llama meat no impact yet.

Cheap beer and wine< down $4.60 a six pack.           

 

 Barrio want ads:

 

Item #. 75846:  used bicycle for sale. Has no tires but a used rim. Make offer.

Item#56841: used women underwear for sale. All size, make offer for lot. Please note super g-stings. I bet size 43, easy.

 

Item #56243; let over easter rabbits and chickens for sale. Some in good health and other you decide. Make offer soon.

Item # 54216: use tires sale, have all size but need a few to get the ones we don’t have . have look around the hood. Do have or some special rim that we found at the corner of wells and third street.

Item #. 75846:  used bicycle for sale. Has no tires but a used rim. Make offer.

Item#56841: used women underwear for sale. All size, make offer for lot. Please note super g-stings. I bet size 43, easy.

Item #56243; let over easter rabbits and chickens for sale. Some in good health and other you decide. Make offer soon.

Item # 54216: use tires sale, have all size but need a few to get the ones we don’t have . have look around the hood. Do have or some special rim that we found at the corner of wells and third street.

Item #56584: used green bay packer shirts and caps for sale. 

Ok raza there you have it for today. You better watch out and you better not cry because sancho clause is coming tonight.

 

Well folks there you have it, have a great tejano day and see you later gator. Go cowboys.

hejola report for 12122013

Hejola report for 12122013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am David Duran with today’s award winning barrio headline news:

trickle-down economics part of everyday in the hood.

Barrio man arrested for fighting con sancho clause at the mall parking lot.

And finally some darn good news.

Yesterday barrio member were informed that the barrio lotto will be running for this christmas holiday. The lotto had been suspended for awhile due to the fact that there were no funds to lotto off. So this week you will be able to purchase your lotto ticket just in time for Christmas. This years lotto winnings might just reach $10.50, good luck raza.

What is the big deal with this trickle-down economics now a days? Did you know that this has always been a part of living in the hood and we can give you several examples. Why is it that in large families all the younger members of that family wear hand me down clothing, trickle-down economics. Why is it that we never throw stuff away, because we might need to have it later, trickle-down economics. Garage sales, front yard sales, back yard sales, moving sales, yard sales, and whatever you want to call them, are considered trickle-down economics. All and all we know what trickle- down economics really means.            

Yesterday el compadre martin chapa Gomez was arrested along con Pedro Morales aka sancho clause after both men got into an intense boxing match at the mall parking lot. Lots of punches were thrown and most of them not landing. But the excitement was enough for someone to call el constable that came over and arrested both strugglers. Charges are pending, after the constable will determine what caused all this action Jackson.

Ok there you have and have a safe day and holidays.

hejola report for 12102013

Hejola report for 12102013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx.hello I am david duran con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio pollution increase con cold weather.

Two men and ten cats busted at the corner of third and wells.

And finally some dang good news.

Well the vato loco’s volunteer firefighters have agreed with the city and the county que they won’t be drinking, smoking, cussing, stealing, robbing, lying, back stabling, punching, hitting, kicking, biting, and talking chit to any body during these holidays, and also promise to keep their eyes open and ears clean just in case there is a fire and they have to call someone. Good luck loco’s.

It seems that this time of the year folks want to get rid of their unwanted pets and that seems to be in the increase these past few weeks. A few barrio members and members of the barrio welcome wagon have notice that now that this people are watching and caring for all those poor cats that Tina v. left behind. But yesterday was no different than other days due to the fact that county animal control is also camping out at that same corner trying to bust this illegal thing. And that’s what happen yesterday when two men from who know where tried to dump ten cats and drove off but were busted down the street.  The animal control caught at least ten of the hundreds of cats they brought with them. Charges will be filed against these persons.

 

Yesterday our own barrio weather man San Juan Norterno told this report que the pollution level here in the hood has gone sky high since the cold weather came in. the among of pollution is up at least 35 percent at this time compared to last month. One of the main reasons says San Juan is due to the large number of people using fire places to keep warm and burning wood outside to stay warm. Barrio Environmentalist, Juan Delgad, tell us que Burning firewood can either be damaging to the environment or it can be helpful. It all comes down to your choices as a consumer and the way you burn your wood and the source you choose to get it from. Ok raza there you have it you decided.

 

Ok raza and now for those compadres y commadres que ran off their overweight love ones, I told you so, que one day you would miss them. Chinga.

hejola report for 12092013

Hejola report for 12092013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again, I am Maria Malone Baloney, hello raza. Now for our award winning barrio headline news:

Mariachi band members shot and some will survive.

La posada parade riot over weekend.

And finally some good news.

The barrio welcome wagon has announced that it will keep on accepting pets that people don’t want any more at the corner of third and wells. The welcome wagon folks tell us que the home owned by Tina V which is by the way surrounded by at least 150 persons, 24 hours a day have agreed to care for this poor unwanted pets.

Late Saturday evening a mariachi band named Sun Shine Mariachi’s were hired to do a late night serenade to a family living in a big barrio trailer parker. You and I know that there are some dark spots in the hood if you live in a trailer park and that is the case here. El Mariachi Sun Shine band members were walking around a trailer house that had one of the darkness spots in the park looking for the address that hired them, but many across the street believe to be men walking around with assault weapons decided to take the first shots at this so call terrorist, killing two of the six band members and wounding at least three more. Once the lights of several mobile homes came on, many noticed that they had fired on this mariachi band. Several park members called 918 and a chit load of police surrounded the trailer park. More details late this week.

This past weekend was the annual La Posada parade held along the most beautiful street on our side of town turned out to be the bloodiest in history. It seems that one of the float drivers ( two tons of fun float)  fell asleep and got off the parade route and ran over at least 30 men, women, children, cats, and dogs standing along the side walk. Once the float came to a halt, family members still standing rush the float and pulled now the awaken float driver out of the float and started to beat him up. One of the parents went as far as lighting the float on fire that caused the float sponsors and their staff to run over and help the driver as he was been beaten up, and tried to turn the fire off. Once the barrio volunteer vato locos  fire fighters arrived the fire had already spread to some corner store that started a fired next to the bakery that explored and started a fire across the street. Once the smoke and the fires were turned off, at least 10 stores were either damaged or burned down, not counting the float. Charges are pending on chingos de persons and chingos de charges will be filed.

Ok raza have a great weekend and don’t go downtown in the hood, too much investigations going on. Dang don’t you just love all the excitement going on.

barrio stock market report for 12062013

Barrio stock market report for 12062013.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Como estan I am urbano yosabatodo con this week’s barrio stock market report for this Friday. Sometime in the next few days I will have my end of the year economic report for all you big time small time spenders. But for now let’s get right to that award winning report:
Las tamales, well don’t say I didn’t tell you. As indicated in o...ther barrio site the increase of making homemade tamales has increase by at least 18 percent ( based the number of people in our block vs. the number that make their own tamales)now that increase do expect the tamales to go up everywhere you go. Las tamales ended the week at a all time high of $6.50 a dozen in some case up to $7.00.
Las tortillas, well this market has its ups and downs but this week it ended pretty stable, tortillas both flour and corn. Flour small pack of 12 @1.52 and corn small pack of 12@1.35 .
Cheap beer, this market has just taken an increase, six pack ended the week @4.95 a six pack.
Las empanadas, that special holiday treat, which is an all around treat now a day’s end pretty stable at $.89 each. Or a none so fresh pack at those quick stops on the freeway for about$2.00 a pack of 4.
La barbacoa de cabeza going for about $6.50 lb. and big increase, llama not available this week.
Los taquitios ended the week at $1.59 each and coffee is extra.

Barrio want ads:

#4875639: several used bicycles, buy the whole lot or only the ones you need.
#889799: Easter chickens and ducks still available, still have some color on them, make offer for all ten chickens and 15 ducks. All still walking and look in good health.
#983455: several women clothing all sizes’ make bit for all the lot.

Barrio realtors:
Ok we got a house that is for sale but needs to be moved off the lot, from the corner of wells and third street moved to the corner of wells and fourth street.
Ok raza got to go. Have a great Tejano day.See More

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hejola report for 12052013

Hejola report for 12052013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,texas.  Hello again I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news;

Maria Malone news reporter on the hot seat.

Two brothers former altar boys arrested.

Hello  I am Maria Malone on assignment covering the altercation between two brothers, former alter boy’s, were arrested after one of them try to strangle the other brother at the books store with a tassel from there scholarship they got. The report says que the brothers got into it when they discovered que the scholarship only covered one of the them. Both were arrested and taken to jail. Please note that the brothers are Siamese twins.

 

Yesterday the creator had some choices words for our newly staff person, Maria Malone on her report about the altar boys being arrested and not pointing out at the being of her story that them boy’s were Siamese twins. No word if maria Malone will still be on the non payroll. Oh well.

And finally a cold front has come into our area and we are asking folks in the hood to make sure all them hoes are indoors and not outside looking for money or trying to make money. In addition make sure you bring in your pets, flowers, and almost anything that be harmed by the cold front.

Ok have a warm night and keep warm.

hejola report for 12042013

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 12042013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. Hello I am Gloria Guerra, now with our mall newsletter headlines:

Idea of another Tejano gay bar to open at the mall, mall official’s rebuff.

Yesterday Veronica La Lesbian report to us that the mall officials had met with Pinky Pan Gomez a he/she person owner of several bars in the area explain his/her idea of planning a far out Tejano disco bar right here at the mall. The mall officials could not confirm that the meeting was even held but indication inside a certain area of the mall was under construction. Well Gloria?

Ahh ok thanks Ronnie, now for our other headline news:

Barrio clown fest might just happen.

The three barrio clown organization announced that this year’s Christmas clown fest will be held right here at the mall but outside on the parking lot, in order to avoid any more trouble with these groups each group will be placed on different parts of the parking lot to avoid any violence like the times before. Every year for some reason these groups have had several rounds of uncalled for actions. The fest is schedule for Christmas Eve.

And finally, the mall sancho clause contest is coming to an end this weekend. Where the best looking sancho clause will be granted a two week contract to sit in the center stage welcoming children wanting to love sancho and tell him what they want for Christmas. Wow only in America.

 

Ok folks thanks I am Gloria Guerra good day.

hejola report for 12032013

Hejola report for 12032013.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,Texas. Hello again mi raza how are we doing?  I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Increase on Christmas sales on the raise.
Barrio leaders plan on moving Christmas to February.
And finally some good news.
The barrio welcome wagon is still holding the corner of third and wells hostage from the state, county and local animal control folks still trying to invade Tina V Gonzales home, who by the way was declared died by last seen alive in another county. Tina has in her back yard over 200 people on a daily bases watching over her 15 cats or more. But we want to let you know that the number of cats has increased to 252. It seems that the community has decided to keep on bring straw cats to her home for a safe haven. Dang. Pray for us on this one.
After a few hours of discuss this matter barrio leaders plan on presenting an idea to move or at least move some of the Christmas activities to February, there were some valid reasons to move it says one of the barrio leaders. Look if we move some of the Christmas activities to February there is a sure chance of increase Christmas sales there too. Another reason was that a large portion of the hood gets their IRS tax returns around that time and we should take advantage of that and the extra money people have to invest back into the hood. Hmm great idea, what do you think? Humbug!
Yesterday el barrio welcome wagon told us que this year’s sales are a bit higher than last years at the same period. It seems que barrio members have gotten a bit smarter than years before, they put stuff on lay a way when they are cheaper and get them out just in time for Christmas, good job raza.
Ok raza have a great day.