barrio stock market report for 10302015

Barrio stock market report for 10302015.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. hello raza I am urbano yosabatodo. How big is your wallet today? Or shall I say what do you have in your wallet?
Anyhow. The excitement is over and we will move on to the next phase in life and that is to live. Now for the barrio stock market report:
Los taquitos market may not end up being as happy with a Obama administration, as investors may assume," la raza united we stand group”, told clients and barrio members at this pass Wednesday at their weekly meeting. "While equity markets could bounce near-the end of the year, we doubt that such a lift for taquitos will be lasting in the face of likely further downward earnings estimates revisions and the increase of beef and pork an all those other things needed to make taquitos," Salinas said. President de la raza for better prices in the hood. Taquitos ended the week at $1.10 each.

Las tamales, It is very unlikely that next coming summer stocks or price of tamales will be at around $6.00 a dozen, but we really have fell que some gains or even a slow steady amid recession and even a slower recovery, that's not likely to continue this last quarter of the year. It seems que los tamales sales brokers tell us que "Consumer stocks tend to perform better under a Republican administration, and homemade tamales tend to perform better under Democrats," said a drunk at a local bar yesterday. As he tried to speak, he said something like "The last three years have fit the Democratic mode almost perfectly," he added. "las tamales will go up this last quarter and will out performed any tamales that you might have on stock or frozen and we are sure que you will eat all you can consume this holiday season." Los tamales will end the week at $6.50 a dozen.
Las empanadas have been predicting since the beginning of the year that consumers will tighten their purse and are preparing to face higher empanada prices for this coming year, compared to the prices during this period last year. We really don’t think que things will change with any upcoming election. But we know for sure que they will never ever go back to four for a dollar.
and finally cheap beer, if this president himself doesn't have the power to move the price of cheap beer markets back to the way it was, its going to be a long four years. Our raza love its beer, but this group in the hood, has an awful lot to do with what happens in the economy and very little con el barrio stock market. Cheap beer ended the week at $2.99 a six pack.

Ok raza got to go and spend some pennys. I am urbano yosabatoda..

hejola report for 10282015

Hejola report for 10282015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. hello how are we doing I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

 Barrio man arrested for yelling “the end is coming”.

Halloween haters plan rally on Oct. 31.

And now some darn  good news.

We just found out that the barrio leaders are willing to pay barrio folks a few bucks for information about nothing. So if you have nothing to say drop us a line and we will see if we can send you a few bucks.

The barrio leaders along con other folks have issued a March permit to a group that don’t believe in Halloween and will have that march and rally on Oct. 31 at the corner of Wells and Third Str. The group is asking that if you plan on attending this rally don’t dress up for Halloween. But the group does encourage you to wear some clothing.

Well el compadre Joe Blow Guzman was right about one thing, his world did come to an end when he was arrested yesterday at the corner of third and wells, while yelling “the end is coming”.  He was rushed to the other side of the tracks and admitted to lala land hospital for a long vacation. One thing to point out is that he had just been released from a state hospital where he played doctor for two years.  Also would like to point out is que he was out on a trial bases, dang I guess he broke the record out only 10 mins.

Ok raza I guess his 10 minutes of fame come and gone, look folks don’t do crazy stuff but don’t you think being crazy already isn’t enough already?

hejola report for 10272015

Hejola report for 10272015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,Texas. hello again raza I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Chingos de commadres participant in this year’s “La mas willa contest for Halloween 2015”.

El constable rounds up all the trouble makers from the past right before adults started trick or treat.

10 or more folks get arrested during this year’s pre Halloween dance.

And now some good news.

We already know que Halloween always comes around and after that several folks either get separated, divorces or just left behind. It never fails que some folks think que Halloween allows you do dress up some kinky! You see the problem is it would be alright but folks only do it during Halloween, how about all year round. Oh yea.

El constable has not determined how and when all the fighting began during last night street Pre-Halloween dance. But he knows for sure que at least ten persons were arrested, along con ten dogs, three cats, two pigs, five pigeons, twelve turkeys’ and two taquchas. He told this reporter que them adults boys and  grown girls and their pets are in a lot of trouble.

 

Yes el constable took it on his own to round up the regular folks that get bust every year for trying to molest grown women. He felt que if he had the majority de estos ways locked up it would make the rest of the night mucho easier. And no chit it did. Well besides the ones he couldn’t find or left town.

It seems que ever commadre in the hood wanted to win this honorable award and cash bonus of $10000 pesos.  So the directors of this year’s program “La Mas Willa Contest for Halloween 2015”,announced que over 5o commadres signed up, went great besides a few things that happen but that didn’t stop las 50 commadres living their dreams, by demonstrating homemade Halloween outfits. This year’s winner of the award and the cash price went to la commadre Mikey Wilson Gonzales. She showed up almost not wearing anything but a small bra and maybe was once a tong.. she was very excited and congratulations commadre. Oh by the way la commadre was also the heaviest contestant, weighting at 285 pounds.

Ok raza don’t bring harm to you and your family, play it safe, and stay home.

hejola afernoon report for 10262015

 

Hejola afternoon report for 10262015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, texas. hello raza I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio cemetery issues evictions notices.

Barrio man brings girlfriend over to meet mother for the first times,steals her car.

 

Barrio banks have Christmas loans now available.

Yesterday el barrio bank announced que it was going to wave bad credit ratings and was willing to bail everybody who is anybody out of debt and into new debt. Yea, says el bank president LIL Penny Morgan, we want our barrio members to have a good Christmas and we are willing to risk it and give out loans, but of course, they will have to leave something down, just in case they can’t make the payments. The bank gave us a list of things they were willing to take : homes, cars, kids, tvs, wife, husband, uncle, aunts, grandparents or food stamps. Please contact your local bank for more information on this matter.

 

 

It seems that woman meeting her boyfriend's mother for the first time likely didn't leave a good impression when she sped off in mom's 1979 ford whatever. La Comadre Monica Jones Gomez, as 68 called el constable cadena late last night to report que her car was stolen, and she knew who it was. The mother told police que her son brough over his 39 year old girlfriend over to meet her and a short time later stole her car. After a few hours the car 1979 ford whatever was found at the corner of third and wells. The girlfriend was arrested shortly after she call her boyfriend to pick her up due to the fact que the car had run out of gas. Charges will be filed.

 

 

Yesterday the Sun Set cemetery issued more than 300 eviction notices to barrio members who have not made payments for their cemetery plot or payment for a buried day relative. The warning came after the cemetery staff informed us que they were going to start pulling dead peoples casket and dropping them off at the last address given to them for failure of payment. We know it’s a hard decision to make but we need our money also. Plus the extra space can be resold.

Dang if you own it pay it if you bought on credit take it back.

barrio stock market report for 10162015

 

Barrio stock market report for 10162015.

Cchwnn.

 

Kingsville, texas. Hello big spenders como estan todos, I am urbano yosabatodo con this week’s  barrio stock market, lets’ go to our barrio  stock market report :

 

Los tamales: the tamale market has hit rock high this week. El tamale guy tells us que the price will kinda go up now que the weather is changing. Los tamales ended the week at $10.00 a dozen, hejola.

 

Los taquitos: los taquitos regardless what kind you like have remained stable enough to start buying them again. At one time or another the price was going up and up. But it seems que they have stabilize itself. Los taquitos ended the week at an all time low of$1.25 cent each. The coffee is extra.

 

Las empanadas: well as expected the barrio gardeners have all agreed to keep growing stuff during the winter months in order to keep las empanadas down in price. Las empanadas ended the week at $.89 cent each, the highest in months.

 

 

 

la barbacoa de cabeza remained stable this week after news que las llama farms were going to delay their product, ended the week at $7.50 a lb.

 

 

 

las tortillas: man o man it had been a while I had gone shopping and didn’t realize que las tortillas had gone up so high. Las tortillas de corn and flour up , $1.25 to 1.75 a dozen.

 

 

 

Cheap beer: you know it’s real sad when a person doesn’t have enough to buy a sofa drink but can afford a beer.  The point is that beer is cheaper than some sofa drinks, what is this world coming too. Cheap beer ended the week at $4.95 a six pack.

 

 

 

And now llama meat: well raza la familia rubio has announced the arrival of llama meat in the hood. It can be found at the cona Lozano cash and carry sports complex meat market. Llama meat going for $4.45 a lb.

 

 

 

Barrio want ads:

Xd45266: men’s shoes for sale, all sizes make offer.

 

Sd8756: small kid’s bike for sale, could be used for smaller folks. Make offer.

 

Yt78546: air conditions for sale, some work and some don’t, can be used for parts.

 

Ty56236: old records: 78,45,331/3 lp. All kind, some tejano and some benny goodmen era. Make offer.

 

Barrio realtors report:

 

Well as you might know by now, that our creator thinks he know everything needed to know about anything that he knows. That is why he will have a book out soon “ soy tejano y que”. Why do I post it on here, because I can. Oh by the way that ocean front property in Ben Bolt is still for sale.

 

 Well folks there you have I am urbano yosabatodo. And keep it tejano.

westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 10152015.

 

 

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 10152015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, texas. hello I am Gloria Guerra con today’s amazing Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter:

A barrio farm truck turns over and release 50 or more turkeys headed to the annual turkey shoot.
Our new office is giving free turkeys to the first 10 families,
And finally a few turkeys get run over at barrio bingo center.

Late last night several turkeys got run over by some drunk bingo players as they left the bingo center. El constable cadena was asked to investigate this matter. When the constable got there, at least ten turkeys had been run over already. The constable brought them over. That’s the ten run over turkeys to our office and see if we could save some of them but was too late. All ten of the turkeys die a few hours later.

With this in mind we are giving out ten free semi-clean but die turkeys to the first ten families willing to take them. The turkeys need to be dressed for that thanksgiving dinner you folks are planning. So if you are interested please don’t call just come by. A few did get run over pretty bad but once you wash them and remove the feathers you couldn’t tell they had gotten run over or anything like that for the exception of one that didn’t have a head. But that’s alright anyhow, its still eat able.

And finally el constable cadena is investigating the barrio farm truck that turned over and released them turkeys. The turkeys were headed to our mall for our annual turkey shoot. After several folks, especially el group “Better treatment of turkeys ‘ had been complaining about this unfair treatment of this birds several had said que them turkeys weren’t going to make it to the mall.

It is very possible que esta group “BETTER treatment of turkeys” might have sabotage the truck so it wouldn’t have made to the mall, say a member of” let me put the finger on you committee” ray ray perez. Si we have been watching the mall lately and we knew que esta group of trouble makers were going to do something like that. El constable cadena tells us que several vatos members of this trouble makers had been picked up for questioning on this matter. But have made no arrested.

In the past this group had been known for doing this sort of things. They were arrested several years ago at our pig sale when they release several pigs from the auction block.

Well raza I quess we will not be having our turkey shoot after all, but we are still looking for the rest of those turkeys. So if you see a turkey somewhere and it doesn’t have an owner it could be one of our turkeys. Just go ahead and keep it and take it as our xmas present. From our mall, I am Gloria Guerra and have a great tejano day. You too Jay Perez….

hejola report for 10152015

 

 

Hejola report for 10152015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,Texas. hello how are we doing I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news.

Vato locos volunteer fire fighters hold monthly smoke alarm drive,

Two tejano’s, file a lawsuit against the only gay Tejano bar.

And finally two tons of fun force to apply new rules.

And now some darn good news.

It was announced that the Westinghouse barrio mall will allow men and women and children and your pets to come dress in your Halloween outfits 10 days sooner and will be allowed to walk around the mall inside and outside collecting candies and tin cans. Oh yea bring it on.

Two want to be tejanos, who by the way work at a nearby office have filed a law suit against the only Tejano gay “two tons of fun” over the ability to identify who is male or female at that bar. You know you get tired of asking a woman to dance and turn out to be another man says one of the want to be Tejano over the weekend. He also said how in the world can you slow dance with that? The two want to be Tejano’s are Juan Guerra Williams and his want to be wife Maria Williams Lopez Garza Munoz. The law suit will be discussed at the next court date set for August 12, 2033.

Starting this weekend los vatos loco volunteer firefights will have their monthly fire alarm drive. Estos vatos will be standing at the corner of third and well collecting money to buy instant popcorn packets to give to hood members as fire alarms. Our goal says one of los locos is to purchase at least three boxes this month. Our motto is If the popping don’t wake you up, the popcorn smell will.

And finally, Yesterday the only Tejano gay bar in the nation “two tons of fun” announced that they will be enforcing new bathroom and makeup standards for its remodel bar. Le Plu, the new manager told us que they were going to make the bar more attractive to tejano’s and not so much for you know who? So we are going to require that all  men and women must register at the door and be given an arm bracelet to make sure we know if they are men or women. Furthermore they are asking their old customers not to wear so much makeup, in order to determine what sex they really are. Le Plu tells us that they are doing their very best to keep everyone happy and hope to beat that lawsuit coming in the future. So let’s keep it clean and Puro bajo-thumpin',  vato Stacy-stompin', barrio grito-yellin', la commadre tripa-chewin', y slow taquachito-dancin' CONJUNTO MUSIC! Oh yea..

Ok thanks to all la raza and the real tejanos don’t wear their hats inside the place.

hejola report for 10142015

 

Hejola report for 10142015.

 

Cchwnn.

 

Kingsville,tx. Hello again mi raza I am Bill Diaz con today’s awarding winning barrio headline news:

 

Barrio election party gets busted.

 

Free food and drinks at the constable re-election party.

 

And now for some darn good news.

 

Again we are reminding barrio parents that our barrio social network will not be allowing barrio families to post any pictures of their children under the age of 42. We just want to make sure that we keep our barrio safe.

 

El constable cadena was so happy that a ton of folks showed up to his re- election party and provide a safe hood for all this pasted few years and had food and drinks. Many there were so impress with his treats that all agreed they were going to vote for him.

 

Yesterday, both political parties agreed to put “bring out vote party” together for the barrio and hope to get to meet your candidate. Well we all know that it would be impossible when both parties don’t like each other. You see the few candidates that did show up were already all heated up by some of the false statements they each had be making about each other. At one point during the party el constable had already arrested more than ten people and twelve cats and dogs. The constable had to use some tear gas to break up this gathering and cut the event real short. At the very end some folks complaint that the constable had no rights in taking most of the food and drinks and use them as evidence.

 

Ok regardless how dumb or smart one is let’s not vote for the same persons that having done a darn thing different since they won the last time.

hejola report for 10132015

Hejola afternoon report for 10132015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. hello again I am Gloria Guerra con today’s award winning afternoon report:

Barrio “name that tejano tune” winner announced.

Barrio football fans find it hard to win.

And finally some darn good Halloween news.

It seems that the barrio leaders along con the leaders from across the tracks have agreed that this year’s average for those wanting to go trick or treat will be 39 years or younger. You it’s your time to shine esa…

You see we all love football from youth football to high school football, too professional football and even back yard football con a bunch of old drunks striving for an old injuries. Well that was the case, you see a few beers and couple of hits of your favorite smoke can make you feel like a famous football star of some sort, and before you know it its game time. The sad part is that the game might only last a few seconds base on how old are the players. Well how long a game go can with the youngest guy on each team are around 67, dang not long.

This past weekend at the Westinghouse barrio mall a barrio game show “ name that Tejano tune” where Tejano’s were asked to see if they could name that tune, so the final 25 participants were given one last chance to take the winning prize. It seems que la prima Olga Ruiz Steward Morales was able to name the final song in 25 notes and was declared the winner. Oh yea you go prima. The prize was not announced till the next week.

Ok raza have a great afternoon and trick or treat esa…

hejola report for 10092015

Hejola report for 10092015.
cchwnn.
Kingsville, tx. From our command post I am David Duran con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Barrio vatos loco volunteer firefighters have recycle can drive all this week.
El constable cadena called into hood pick up drunk chick.                                 And now some darn sad news.

We just got word that el ojo junior private eye had been shoot several times. We have not gotten enough information to share with you but we will keep you informed.         

How many times have we tried not to pick up any chicks at bars especially after the 1:30 a.m. well this is the case con Mike Chavarava. It seems que esta vato took la senorita Julia Childes Moreno home with him after he met her at the bar this past Saturday nite at around 1:30 a.m. He didn’t realize que Julia is one of those drunks que likes to talk about the past regardless if you were involved or not when she gets pretty wasted. Well this was the case que esta chick drank a few more beers at mikes home and felt que she was being taken advantage back in September of 2004. By her recalling that awful night lead her to fighting and screaming at esta poor vato mike. Well when the cops showed up con el constable cadena, they realized que it was Julia causing some chit over here at mikes home. No charges were filed against anyone but did ask Julia if she wanted a ride home.

this coming weekend if you are driving around our hood and see our local barrio volunteer vato loco firefighters, please donated those empty recycle cans. It’s the thirteen annual Easter recycle hunt planned for this coming Easter. The volunteers or vato locos volunteers firefights are short about 600lbs cans. So make this Easter a happy one, please save a can and save a child. All cans can be donated to them where they standing at the corner of third and wells or dropped off at  623 west elle suite #1.

I am david duran, how about them cowboys.

hejola report for 10082015

 

 

Hejola report for 10082015.

 

Cchwnn.

 

Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am David Duran with today’s award winning barrio headline news:

 

Still no word on Tina V.

 

Barrio welcome wagon hire big guns.

 

And finally some real good news for cat lovers.

 

The word is out that Tina V. now a wanted person was actually a very very good person base on a report that we got yesterday. Did you know that Tina’s cats that she cared for were either given to her by private owners or was a temporary shelter for cats that the only cat adopt association had made a deal with her. Plus we also found out that Tina had submitted a proposal to the Barrio Leadership Agency to get monies to help her run this cat protections home. One very important thing here was that all the cat’s under her supervision were given health cards of approval. Huh?

 

We were informed that el barrio welcome wagon has gone and hired one of the world’s best private eye, “ El Ojo Barrio private” to help them find Tina V. and are going to hire his barrio private protection unit  to help protect the 200 or more cats that the Welcome Wagon is trying to protect from being killed. In addition el ojo will conduct their own investigation from the get go on how could this have happen to a very nice lonely woman. Please note que el ojo barrio private eye Junior will be leading this special investigation.

 

It has almost been a week that la commadre Tina V. Gonzales was arrested and treated and escaped from police custody and yet no word of her where about. Barrios own constable Cadena has gone full forces in trying to find Tina.

Ok raza heads up and god bless everyone , even Tina V.

hejola report for 10072015

Hejola report for 10072015.

 

Cchwnn.

 

Kingsville,Tx. Hello again I am Fideo Vermicelli with today’s award winning barrio headline news:

 

Tina v. Gonzales reported seen with traveling gypsies.

 

Two arrested among those who helped Tina V.

 

And finally some real good news.

 

A private investigator hired by the barrio welcome wagon has reported that the two hundred or so persons protecting Tina V. 200 cats, told us that all 50 of the cats that were murdered by the state this past weekend were all register cats, and all were spay and neuter by the same animal control workers who tried to round them up that one afternoon. And that their investigation will determine that the law enforces agencies were way out of line and someone is going to pay for it. They also wish that Tina V. stay out of sight until this matter is looked into a bit furthermore. If you want to stop this unlawful practice of killing little pets contact your local barrio animal control folks.

 

Yesterday barrio and city and county and state law enforcement officers arrested two men and accused them with the aiding of a barrio wanted prisoner Tina V. and question about another 22 women about the same matter. Tito Gomez, age 78 and Gomer Gomez, age 56 were arrested and taken to jail across the tracks. Charges will be filed against the two, unless they can help located Tina v.

 

In other news, along highway 182 traveling west, a school bus of children returning from a school outing spotted a woman riding a wagon along the road as possible Tina V. Gonzales who when missing from the st. paul’s  medical center. The Barrio Gypsies are a private group of men, women, and children and their pets that travel around the county on their wagons. The constable has been informed and will see if he can find the group somewhere in the county and will have a search warrant to see if Tina is with this group of gypsies.

 

Ok raza kept your cats healthy and wish.

hejola report for 100162015

 

Hejola report for 10062015.

 

Cchwnn.

 

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am bill Diaz con today’s awfully award winning barrio headline news:

 

State euthanizes 50 arrested cats over the weekend.

Tina V still missing?

And barrio leaders have bad news for the county, city, and state.

Well we usually start off with some good news but we hate to say this but it’s not good. The barrio leaders are going to do their own investigation on the euthanizing of Tina’s cats and who gave them the right to do so and we also want to know what are the charges against her and her cat’s we want answers? And by the way there is still about 200 people camping out on her front lawn protesting the 200 and so cats that the state has promise to capture sooner or later.

 

The state officials overseeing the seize at the corner of third and wells by la commadre Tina V. Gonzales last week, authorized the euthanizing of her 50 cats that had been arrested by barrio animal control agents. The killing of these poor cats was done over the weekend without informing anyone. Cruz Tee’s told us this morning at their news conferences.

 

Furthermore, he told the crowd that a state wide search was on the way for Tina V. Gonzales, as you might recall attacked several animal control workers, than held the hostage, and finally was over taken by some swat teams. And then was hauled off by some 20 or more of her supporters from the mall health center. A reward is being offered for any information leading to her arrested.

 

We are very saddened by the events that have happen this weekend. We will try to keep you all informed about this matter and the sage continues!