Hejolia report for 04302009.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Bill daiz con today’s award winning barrio headline news.
El piggy flu hits the hood.
Three drunks arrested with drunk pig.
And finally, the story of the that got away.
I am sure you know by now que el pig played a very important role in our American history. Throughout the years the pig has been a great provider of food, especially those that love tamales. And that is why la familia Gonzales had to determined whether simon, the pig, a future farmer of America project for their son was subject to be slaughtered. That is the headline news, this morning, Simon the pig, turned up missing, and there is a small reward being offer for any information pertaining to simon, please contact our office if you hear anything, I mean anything.
Late last night el constable back on duty, arrested three vato’ and a passengers that was so drunk que he looked like a pig says el constable cadena. Si this person, was so freaking drunk que he looked like a drunk pig. All three men and el passenger where being held at el barrio corral jail. Except the passenger, he was taken to jail across the tracks.
And finally, los barrio leaders are preparing for the worries. It seems que el piggy flue has hit the hood and barrio leaders are trying to cancel all programs and activities for this weekend. Three women, two kids, three men and several cats and dogs were taken to the local doctor for evaluation, and it seems que there were some traces of esta piggy flu in them. We will have an update on this matter as we gather it.
Well that is it for today, I am bill diaz, an making sure que I dot shake hands nor kiss anyone for the next few days.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
hejolia report for 04282009
HEJOLIA REPORT for 04282009.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello como estan I am bill diaz con today’s hejolia report from our command post here in Kingsville. TX our headline news:
Local camera crew catch robber on film,
Two vatos arrested for intent to robber store
Hood member also hit by falling bomb.
Yesterday afternoon el constable cadena and his staff went to the site where Eliseo Everett claimed que, as the naval air station pilots were practicing a bomb fell out of the sky and nearly hit him and his pet dog and his wife. Everett 53 became a local news celebrity after this accident. Mr. Everett, who by the way owes his ex-wife more than $10,000 in overdue child support, had not heard or knew of his whereabouts until his face popped up on almost every TV Station and newspaper. El constable cadena had to go back to mr, Everett home and arrested him yesterday morning .
It seems que late yesterday afternoon Larry Garza, 42, was arrested and charged with robbing a barrio Henry’s little convenience store. The report states que the robbery started in one of the back rooms, and the robber thus wasn't aware that a barrio college camera crew from BARRIO UNIT TV was taping a feature on crime in the hood in front of this store. The tape clearly shows esta vato stealing and running through the store and out the front door. He too was arrested later at his house, and it turned out que he lived right next to mr Everett.
And finally at a robbery scene in which two young Vato’s were wrestlers masks held up the only video store in the hood. El constable cadena questioned two young guys who were sitting at a nearby bus stop. While he was questioning them he noticed que they each had a wrestlers masks in their pockets.
Estos vatos both admitted that they had been on their way to rob the video store earlier, but said that when they arrived, two other vato’s in ski masks were already robbing it. Constable cadena concluded que this two were telling the truth, due to the fact que the real robbers were wearing ski masks. The constable arrested these two vato’s under the penalty for "conspiracy to commit robbery". El constable said que it’s almost as much as the penalty for robbery.
Well there you have it from the hood, good day. I am bill diaz.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello como estan I am bill diaz con today’s hejolia report from our command post here in Kingsville. TX our headline news:
Local camera crew catch robber on film,
Two vatos arrested for intent to robber store
Hood member also hit by falling bomb.
Yesterday afternoon el constable cadena and his staff went to the site where Eliseo Everett claimed que, as the naval air station pilots were practicing a bomb fell out of the sky and nearly hit him and his pet dog and his wife. Everett 53 became a local news celebrity after this accident. Mr. Everett, who by the way owes his ex-wife more than $10,000 in overdue child support, had not heard or knew of his whereabouts until his face popped up on almost every TV Station and newspaper. El constable cadena had to go back to mr, Everett home and arrested him yesterday morning .
It seems que late yesterday afternoon Larry Garza, 42, was arrested and charged with robbing a barrio Henry’s little convenience store. The report states que the robbery started in one of the back rooms, and the robber thus wasn't aware that a barrio college camera crew from BARRIO UNIT TV was taping a feature on crime in the hood in front of this store. The tape clearly shows esta vato stealing and running through the store and out the front door. He too was arrested later at his house, and it turned out que he lived right next to mr Everett.
And finally at a robbery scene in which two young Vato’s were wrestlers masks held up the only video store in the hood. El constable cadena questioned two young guys who were sitting at a nearby bus stop. While he was questioning them he noticed que they each had a wrestlers masks in their pockets.
Estos vatos both admitted that they had been on their way to rob the video store earlier, but said that when they arrived, two other vato’s in ski masks were already robbing it. Constable cadena concluded que this two were telling the truth, due to the fact que the real robbers were wearing ski masks. The constable arrested these two vato’s under the penalty for "conspiracy to commit robbery". El constable said que it’s almost as much as the penalty for robbery.
Well there you have it from the hood, good day. I am bill diaz.
Monday, April 27, 2009
hejolia report for 04272009
HEJOLIA REPORT for 04272009.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tex. NOW FROM BOMB BAY RESTURANT, DAVID DURAN,
I LOVE INDIA FOOD ITS SPICES AND HOT, NOW FOR THE HEADLINE NEWS:
Barrio hires educated folks to solve rat problems,
Barrio member dies on field trip to Grand Canyon,
And finally Westinghouse barrio mall opening soon
Well its final, all the dots are completed and all the contracts are signed, and the city has finally approved the malls new modifications and read to open. We will have the schedule of events sooner than later.The mall plans to open on NOV. 6, PLEASE NOTE QUE THE ACTIVITES PLANNED WILL BE ON OUR WEB SITE……….T.B.A/
EL BARRIO HAS ANNOUCNED que the hood cleanup Campaign, will be held in a few weeks, and announced it had 70 job openings for rat Catchers; it has received at least 320 applications. The funny thing was says Martin Chapa que half of the applicants were college graduates. Gee …
And finally this past week we were informed que the Grand Canyon claimed it’s seventh Death-by-fall victim of the year. It seems que faultino Guzman toppled over backward as he tried to position him selves to accommodate a group picture, Said The director of a local outdoors group, that was the case con esta vato, "A lot of tourists approach the Grand Canyon like a ride at Disneyland . . . and think it's idiot-proof. The Grand Canyon wasn't build by attorneys and engineers, but by Mother Nature. Mr. Guzman body was shipped c.o.d. on the same day. The Guzman family plans to make it home in time to accept the body.
Ok raza got to go now and will be back tomorrow. I am david duran., good day.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tex. NOW FROM BOMB BAY RESTURANT, DAVID DURAN,
I LOVE INDIA FOOD ITS SPICES AND HOT, NOW FOR THE HEADLINE NEWS:
Barrio hires educated folks to solve rat problems,
Barrio member dies on field trip to Grand Canyon,
And finally Westinghouse barrio mall opening soon
Well its final, all the dots are completed and all the contracts are signed, and the city has finally approved the malls new modifications and read to open. We will have the schedule of events sooner than later.The mall plans to open on NOV. 6, PLEASE NOTE QUE THE ACTIVITES PLANNED WILL BE ON OUR WEB SITE……….T.B.A/
EL BARRIO HAS ANNOUCNED que the hood cleanup Campaign, will be held in a few weeks, and announced it had 70 job openings for rat Catchers; it has received at least 320 applications. The funny thing was says Martin Chapa que half of the applicants were college graduates. Gee …
And finally this past week we were informed que the Grand Canyon claimed it’s seventh Death-by-fall victim of the year. It seems que faultino Guzman toppled over backward as he tried to position him selves to accommodate a group picture, Said The director of a local outdoors group, that was the case con esta vato, "A lot of tourists approach the Grand Canyon like a ride at Disneyland . . . and think it's idiot-proof. The Grand Canyon wasn't build by attorneys and engineers, but by Mother Nature. Mr. Guzman body was shipped c.o.d. on the same day. The Guzman family plans to make it home in time to accept the body.
Ok raza got to go now and will be back tomorrow. I am david duran., good day.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
barrio stock market report for 04242009
Barrio stock market for 04242009:
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Once again mi raza como estan todos. I am urbano yosabatodo con this week’s barrio stock market y realtors report from our new command post at 918 north Armstrong. The art of moving has always been interesting. I am more than sure que we do spend mucho money to money, and not all of the budgets goes towards moving. Of course there is the traditional bar b que and beer drinking involved in all this and hope que all the heavy girlfriends will find us.
You see we love those women with respect and all their teeth. Now in some cases men don’t have much room to talk neither but we leave that for la china cano de china Nuevo leon. Oh well, now for that dang report.
Los Tamales:
this last few weeks we haven’t seen el tamale man and we have not heard from our different correspondents that do our research on them tamales. But we have acquired a new person to fill us in on the prices de tamales. Los tamales ended the week at record low for this year at $4.75 a dozen. Raza buy raza buy.
Los taquitos:
wow we really blew this call. Well we were so proud que el hood was doing so good in keeping small taco stands open longer than predicted. It’s sad que we now have a new trend going on here. It seems que at least three small taco stands and restaurants have shut down the last 45 days. It don’t look good for us here in the hood that love to go out and eat. Los taquitos took a small hike back to $1.50 each and coffee is extra.
Las empanadas:
less filling is our beef what’s yours? Was the subject several years ago. The empanada war of 2006 was about the filling. We are asking those empanada makers to put more filling inside that dang things. Las empanadas have gone sky high compared to last year at this time. Las empanada ended the week at a moderate price of $.89 cents each.
Cheap beer:
chinga even los borrachos are complaint about having to walk further now to buy beer. Si muchos de los small stores have shut down also in the hood. It’s funny que we won’t walk to far for almost anything but we will walk a mile or two for some beer. Cheap beer ended the week at $3.65 a six pack.
Las tortillas:
here is a good one for you raza, if you remember our tamale war of 1997 when that former city redneck commissioner Russell rusty ruffneck tells us que he has started a new gringo thing in our side of the hood. This new group which does not have a name yet tells us que real soon they are going to have a one day protects, and not eat Mexican food or even tortillas. He tells this reporter que we will si quein es mas chingo…. The gringo protest is being plan as we speak. That should be very interesting. “A day without a gringo customer”. Las tortillas took a big hick. Wow we hadn’t realize que them things are so high now. Las tortillas ended the week at $1.25 to $1.75 a dozen. There is gold in them tortillas….
And finally la barbacoa de cabeza:
well it’s been long expected and it’s just around the corner based on what el senor Alfonso Rubio, the owner of our llama ranch right at the edge of our hood. Mr rubio wanted to let everybody in the hood que them llamas are growing real quick and are getting real big, and we will be seeing lots of llama meat in the hood real soon. This of course has all the beef owners a bit worried and are planning a seminar on the future of beaf barbacoa. La barbacoa de cabeza took a drive after what they heard from el senor rubio, down a from last week $4.75 a pound.
BARRIO REALTORS REPORT;
Now if you did file your taxes we heard que they might just start picking people up, especially if you haven’t file in five years. So if you do have money in the bank and do own some kind of property make sure que you change the title to of them and for sure buy a barrio deposit box, only going for $19.95.
Ok raza there you have it. Our want ads will be back next week. I am urbano yosabatodo con this weeks barrio stock market report. Have a great tejano day and keep it tejano jv.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Once again mi raza como estan todos. I am urbano yosabatodo con this week’s barrio stock market y realtors report from our new command post at 918 north Armstrong. The art of moving has always been interesting. I am more than sure que we do spend mucho money to money, and not all of the budgets goes towards moving. Of course there is the traditional bar b que and beer drinking involved in all this and hope que all the heavy girlfriends will find us.
You see we love those women with respect and all their teeth. Now in some cases men don’t have much room to talk neither but we leave that for la china cano de china Nuevo leon. Oh well, now for that dang report.
Los Tamales:
this last few weeks we haven’t seen el tamale man and we have not heard from our different correspondents that do our research on them tamales. But we have acquired a new person to fill us in on the prices de tamales. Los tamales ended the week at record low for this year at $4.75 a dozen. Raza buy raza buy.
Los taquitos:
wow we really blew this call. Well we were so proud que el hood was doing so good in keeping small taco stands open longer than predicted. It’s sad que we now have a new trend going on here. It seems que at least three small taco stands and restaurants have shut down the last 45 days. It don’t look good for us here in the hood that love to go out and eat. Los taquitos took a small hike back to $1.50 each and coffee is extra.
Las empanadas:
less filling is our beef what’s yours? Was the subject several years ago. The empanada war of 2006 was about the filling. We are asking those empanada makers to put more filling inside that dang things. Las empanadas have gone sky high compared to last year at this time. Las empanada ended the week at a moderate price of $.89 cents each.
Cheap beer:
chinga even los borrachos are complaint about having to walk further now to buy beer. Si muchos de los small stores have shut down also in the hood. It’s funny que we won’t walk to far for almost anything but we will walk a mile or two for some beer. Cheap beer ended the week at $3.65 a six pack.
Las tortillas:
here is a good one for you raza, if you remember our tamale war of 1997 when that former city redneck commissioner Russell rusty ruffneck tells us que he has started a new gringo thing in our side of the hood. This new group which does not have a name yet tells us que real soon they are going to have a one day protects, and not eat Mexican food or even tortillas. He tells this reporter que we will si quein es mas chingo…. The gringo protest is being plan as we speak. That should be very interesting. “A day without a gringo customer”. Las tortillas took a big hick. Wow we hadn’t realize que them things are so high now. Las tortillas ended the week at $1.25 to $1.75 a dozen. There is gold in them tortillas….
And finally la barbacoa de cabeza:
well it’s been long expected and it’s just around the corner based on what el senor Alfonso Rubio, the owner of our llama ranch right at the edge of our hood. Mr rubio wanted to let everybody in the hood que them llamas are growing real quick and are getting real big, and we will be seeing lots of llama meat in the hood real soon. This of course has all the beef owners a bit worried and are planning a seminar on the future of beaf barbacoa. La barbacoa de cabeza took a drive after what they heard from el senor rubio, down a from last week $4.75 a pound.
BARRIO REALTORS REPORT;
Now if you did file your taxes we heard que they might just start picking people up, especially if you haven’t file in five years. So if you do have money in the bank and do own some kind of property make sure que you change the title to of them and for sure buy a barrio deposit box, only going for $19.95.
Ok raza there you have it. Our want ads will be back next week. I am urbano yosabatodo con this weeks barrio stock market report. Have a great tejano day and keep it tejano jv.
hejolia report for 04232009
Hejolia report for 04232009
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, TX. Hello I am bill Diaz con some sad news. It seems que both of the mall managers were arrested for setting up human competitions without any city, county, or state, and federal approval. But that will be covered later, but for now let’s go to our barrio award winning headline news;
Several parents get busted at youth baseball games.
Everything goes up but nothing coming down.
And finally have you hugged your kids today.
Today marks have you hugged your kids day. That means regardless of how old your child is, don’t you think he or she is due for a big hug. Today and today only at the corner of third and wells, los vato loco’s volunteer firefighters will be giving out free hugs. So make sure you come on bye for that one big freaking hug you have been wanting.
Everything went sky high yesterday afternoon, when el compadre martin Chapa was the first vato too try and fly his home made airplane made out of used cardboard boxes. “El Barrio One” the name of this barrio invention, was launched from top of this three story building located just around the corner from wells and third street. I almost made says el compadre until he rammed his cardboard plane right into the ground flying about two feet and three inches. It’s a barrio first.
And finally, ten parents were asked to leave the ball park and two were arrested after several of them got into it with an umpire, and the board member on duty. It seems que parents and many more relatives had a better view of a judge meant call than the umpire who was standing on top of the call. All the yelling and screaming could have been heard all over the park. Finally the cops showed up and were able to maintain order. Of by the way the final score was 15 to 0, guess who was complaining.
Well that is it for today, counting down towards tejano roots , it could be our year.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, TX. Hello I am bill Diaz con some sad news. It seems que both of the mall managers were arrested for setting up human competitions without any city, county, or state, and federal approval. But that will be covered later, but for now let’s go to our barrio award winning headline news;
Several parents get busted at youth baseball games.
Everything goes up but nothing coming down.
And finally have you hugged your kids today.
Today marks have you hugged your kids day. That means regardless of how old your child is, don’t you think he or she is due for a big hug. Today and today only at the corner of third and wells, los vato loco’s volunteer firefighters will be giving out free hugs. So make sure you come on bye for that one big freaking hug you have been wanting.
Everything went sky high yesterday afternoon, when el compadre martin Chapa was the first vato too try and fly his home made airplane made out of used cardboard boxes. “El Barrio One” the name of this barrio invention, was launched from top of this three story building located just around the corner from wells and third street. I almost made says el compadre until he rammed his cardboard plane right into the ground flying about two feet and three inches. It’s a barrio first.
And finally, ten parents were asked to leave the ball park and two were arrested after several of them got into it with an umpire, and the board member on duty. It seems que parents and many more relatives had a better view of a judge meant call than the umpire who was standing on top of the call. All the yelling and screaming could have been heard all over the park. Finally the cops showed up and were able to maintain order. Of by the way the final score was 15 to 0, guess who was complaining.
Well that is it for today, counting down towards tejano roots , it could be our year.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
hejolia report for 04222009
Hejolia report for 04222009.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, tx. Hello once again raza como estan I am Bill Diaz, and now let’s go to Johnnie el quemon en Monterey, Mexico con today’ s Monterey’s daily news:
Si billy como estas y yo soy Johnnie el quemon en my office here in monterey’s office con today’s news:
Barrio Pen pal service being investigated,
Barrio 8-ball lotto on for this weekend,
And finally 12 of the 18 busted this weekend are held without bond.
Law enforcement officers from across the tracks, let the hood know, que 12 of the 18 barrio members that got busted this weekend at the super taqucha party, will not going to be release anytime soon says Edward May, chief investigator for the east side task force on lets bust those vatos across the tracks.
It seems that at least 12 of this persons were arrested during the new years eve party and were released and never showed up for trial. He says that he won’t make the same mistake this time. Bond will not be set until later this month. A list of names has been posted at the Westside post office just in case you have a missing relative this past few days. Oh by the way, Mr. May wants to thank the “let me put the finger on you committee “ for putting the finger on that new years eve and super bowl parties.
Barrio 8-ball officals in the hood announced that the grand prize this weekend will be for $55.00 and some chances. Lotto numbers can be bought anywhere in the hood, or can come by our office at the Westinghouse barrio mall.
And finally many city, county and state officals are checking into our new barrio pen pal services that recently opened. It seems que this guys think, it’s an unauthorized dating services and might up to do almost anything for money. The owners of this company were not available to answer any question on the phone.
Now let’s go back to our command post in Kingsville con Bill Diaz,
Si thank you johnnie in Monterey mexico. Now raza that you heard the news let’s make sure we go a buy those lotto numbers for this weekend.
We here in the hood are real proud of all our staff and in saying that we have just assigned the following staff to serve as the secruty forces for our staff in paris france.
Eaton weeks will be their head security for our paris office along con Camelio Hawkeye Moreno, licensed private eye will assist con el security. So Francisco in paris , france your request for staff is on their way. Should arrive in paris within a few days. Ok raza got to go.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, tx. Hello once again raza como estan I am Bill Diaz, and now let’s go to Johnnie el quemon en Monterey, Mexico con today’ s Monterey’s daily news:
Si billy como estas y yo soy Johnnie el quemon en my office here in monterey’s office con today’s news:
Barrio Pen pal service being investigated,
Barrio 8-ball lotto on for this weekend,
And finally 12 of the 18 busted this weekend are held without bond.
Law enforcement officers from across the tracks, let the hood know, que 12 of the 18 barrio members that got busted this weekend at the super taqucha party, will not going to be release anytime soon says Edward May, chief investigator for the east side task force on lets bust those vatos across the tracks.
It seems that at least 12 of this persons were arrested during the new years eve party and were released and never showed up for trial. He says that he won’t make the same mistake this time. Bond will not be set until later this month. A list of names has been posted at the Westside post office just in case you have a missing relative this past few days. Oh by the way, Mr. May wants to thank the “let me put the finger on you committee “ for putting the finger on that new years eve and super bowl parties.
Barrio 8-ball officals in the hood announced that the grand prize this weekend will be for $55.00 and some chances. Lotto numbers can be bought anywhere in the hood, or can come by our office at the Westinghouse barrio mall.
And finally many city, county and state officals are checking into our new barrio pen pal services that recently opened. It seems que this guys think, it’s an unauthorized dating services and might up to do almost anything for money. The owners of this company were not available to answer any question on the phone.
Now let’s go back to our command post in Kingsville con Bill Diaz,
Si thank you johnnie in Monterey mexico. Now raza that you heard the news let’s make sure we go a buy those lotto numbers for this weekend.
We here in the hood are real proud of all our staff and in saying that we have just assigned the following staff to serve as the secruty forces for our staff in paris france.
Eaton weeks will be their head security for our paris office along con Camelio Hawkeye Moreno, licensed private eye will assist con el security. So Francisco in paris , france your request for staff is on their way. Should arrive in paris within a few days. Ok raza got to go.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
hejolia report for p[aris del helles04212009
hejolia report / paris del helles for 04212009.
Cchwnn: Heaveno once again raza. Let’s hope que many of you all had a great time at this years fan fare. Today is a very special day for us. Starting today we will include PARIS DEL HELLES DAILY from our news correspondent Francisco Delgado De Gaulle.
Well its that time again, now for the headline news for today:
Vato staggering along west Richard, local residents call constables office.
Homeless family asked to more, no camping allowed inside the city barrio limits.
La commadre de la commadre hit by truck.
And finally from our French correspondent Francisco Delgado del Gaulle, with the story que a man alleged that a storeowner threatened him with a weapon.
Last night los vatos locos volunteer firefighters were called on an 811 call. Its seems que la commadre Susana, call 811 after her commadre GIGI got hit by a passing truck while she stood in the middle of the street. Before the vatos could get there it seems que la commadre managed to get up and she got her self-checked into the hospital. But before constable cadena could get there, it seems que la commadre had already checked herself out of the hospital. The constable report stated que the truck was not damage.
Earlier this morning a barrio resident living at the 300 west Richard st. call the constable cadena office wanting to report que a vato had just passed her home and he seemed to be staggering. Once the constable got there it seems que he had already spoken to this dude twice this evening. Constable cadena stated que he had already determined que esta vato was not intoxicated.
And a police unit from across the tracks, stopped an inspected a car that was parked in a no parking zone. It seems que this people were napping in their car on third and wells street. Well somehow this car somehow qualified as a campers the police report indicated. And since this side of town had already passed a new municipal code, outlawing no camping in the hood. The people were asked to move on or be hauled and tow to jail.
Now from Paris France here is Francisco Delgado del Gaulle, (for translation visit altavista fish)
Bonjour le raza de mille, hier à notre magasin faisant le coin, police de Paris se sont appelés pour interroger le propriétaire du magasin qui a allégué tiré un pistolet sur un client. Le que par propriétaire du magasin que le client n’a pas voulu laisser un client féminin seul. Après lui avoir demandé plusieurs fois, j’ai dû tirer le pistolet hors de ai dit le propriétaire du magasin, et dis ce client de partir. La police ne classera pas des frais contre le propriétaire du magasin, mais a été donnée une amende pour ne pas avoir une tenir compte d’elle. De nouveau à vous Alcardio.
Thank you Francisco. Well there you have it for today, I am bill diaz, and have a great day.
Cchwnn: Heaveno once again raza. Let’s hope que many of you all had a great time at this years fan fare. Today is a very special day for us. Starting today we will include PARIS DEL HELLES DAILY from our news correspondent Francisco Delgado De Gaulle.
Well its that time again, now for the headline news for today:
Vato staggering along west Richard, local residents call constables office.
Homeless family asked to more, no camping allowed inside the city barrio limits.
La commadre de la commadre hit by truck.
And finally from our French correspondent Francisco Delgado del Gaulle, with the story que a man alleged that a storeowner threatened him with a weapon.
Last night los vatos locos volunteer firefighters were called on an 811 call. Its seems que la commadre Susana, call 811 after her commadre GIGI got hit by a passing truck while she stood in the middle of the street. Before the vatos could get there it seems que la commadre managed to get up and she got her self-checked into the hospital. But before constable cadena could get there, it seems que la commadre had already checked herself out of the hospital. The constable report stated que the truck was not damage.
Earlier this morning a barrio resident living at the 300 west Richard st. call the constable cadena office wanting to report que a vato had just passed her home and he seemed to be staggering. Once the constable got there it seems que he had already spoken to this dude twice this evening. Constable cadena stated que he had already determined que esta vato was not intoxicated.
And a police unit from across the tracks, stopped an inspected a car that was parked in a no parking zone. It seems que this people were napping in their car on third and wells street. Well somehow this car somehow qualified as a campers the police report indicated. And since this side of town had already passed a new municipal code, outlawing no camping in the hood. The people were asked to move on or be hauled and tow to jail.
Now from Paris France here is Francisco Delgado del Gaulle, (for translation visit altavista fish)
Bonjour le raza de mille, hier à notre magasin faisant le coin, police de Paris se sont appelés pour interroger le propriétaire du magasin qui a allégué tiré un pistolet sur un client. Le que par propriétaire du magasin que le client n’a pas voulu laisser un client féminin seul. Après lui avoir demandé plusieurs fois, j’ai dû tirer le pistolet hors de ai dit le propriétaire du magasin, et dis ce client de partir. La police ne classera pas des frais contre le propriétaire du magasin, mais a été donnée une amende pour ne pas avoir une tenir compte d’elle. De nouveau à vous Alcardio.
Thank you Francisco. Well there you have it for today, I am bill diaz, and have a great day.
Monday, April 20, 2009
hejolia report for 04202009
Cchwnn: hejola report for 04202009
Once again I am bill Diaz con this weeks barrio winning headline news, What the heck, now for our barrio headline news:
Barrio leaders crack down on child support for your real child.
One vato gets arrested on a scavenger hunt.
And finally a barrio parrot causes la commadre to file a divorce.
>Yesterday afternoon we learned que el parrot de Benito y Sara Gonzales has caused Sara to file for a divorce since she learned que her husband’s infidity when her parrot, peppito, imitating Benitos voice, continually cried out for some woman named “maria”. Pessa hejola. The family will go to court to see who will get to keep peppito.
>Yesterday afternoon a barrio justice of the peaces, passed a local rule que would not require hard-luck vatos who, believing they were biological fathers, and had agreed to child support, only to learn via a dna.cia.fbi. Test that they are not, but still were required to pay that support.
Well it wont happen anymore here in the hood says Christina Ochoa Morgan our newly elected justice of the peace on a ruling she made yesterday afternoon getting Juanito Paulito Politio off the hood from paying child support to his ex wife Juanita. Its seem que esta Juanito had originally agreed to support his new wife’s daughter, but the he and his wife divorced and the courts had ruled he must continue to support the girl even thought the wife has now married the vato who is the girls biological father. The court agreed to get him off the hood from paying child support but instead has demanded que Juanita pays her ex husband child support for the last six months. The family will appeal this ruling to an upper court.
Ok raza there you have it I am bill diaz from our command post here in Kingsville texas.
Once again I am bill Diaz con this weeks barrio winning headline news, What the heck, now for our barrio headline news:
Barrio leaders crack down on child support for your real child.
One vato gets arrested on a scavenger hunt.
And finally a barrio parrot causes la commadre to file a divorce.
>Yesterday afternoon we learned que el parrot de Benito y Sara Gonzales has caused Sara to file for a divorce since she learned que her husband’s infidity when her parrot, peppito, imitating Benitos voice, continually cried out for some woman named “maria”. Pessa hejola. The family will go to court to see who will get to keep peppito.
>Yesterday afternoon a barrio justice of the peaces, passed a local rule que would not require hard-luck vatos who, believing they were biological fathers, and had agreed to child support, only to learn via a dna.cia.fbi. Test that they are not, but still were required to pay that support.
Well it wont happen anymore here in the hood says Christina Ochoa Morgan our newly elected justice of the peace on a ruling she made yesterday afternoon getting Juanito Paulito Politio off the hood from paying child support to his ex wife Juanita. Its seem que esta Juanito had originally agreed to support his new wife’s daughter, but the he and his wife divorced and the courts had ruled he must continue to support the girl even thought the wife has now married the vato who is the girls biological father. The court agreed to get him off the hood from paying child support but instead has demanded que Juanita pays her ex husband child support for the last six months. The family will appeal this ruling to an upper court.
Ok raza there you have it I am bill diaz from our command post here in Kingsville texas.
Friday, April 17, 2009
barrio stock market report for 04182009
barrio stock market 04182009.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello once again I am urbano yosabatoda, con today’s barrio stock market for week of 04182009. Well it’s another Friday and the end of this month is almost here. How about that, another month and we still have money in the bank alright. Now for our brief barrio stock market report for this week:
LOS TAMALES, now on price from last week, $4.50 a dozen.
LOS TAQUITOS: stood pretty stable all week but with a slight increase right at the end. $1.45 a taco.
LAS EMPANADAS: up on price from last week, $.79 cents each.
LA BARBACOA DE CABERZA: stable all week. $5.50 a lb.
CHEAP BEER: held its ground with a slight increase of a $.05 end the week at $3.75 a six pack.
BARRIO WANT ADS:
XDE 5487: old three piece suits for sale. Husband passed away need to get rid of them, size ,44xl 32lent. Make offer.
DER 4584: collection of dimes and penny’s from 2005 for sale. Make offer or trade for dimes and penny’s from 2006.
CED 78923: old furniture for sale. Have lots of love seats that can still give love, sofas open into a large bed, could be used to make love. Make offer.
WED 5284: Looking for woman willing to live in farm and care of farm during the day . must be willing to make tortillas by hand. Leave message.
WER34569: Left over live chickens for sale for next easter.
Ok raza there you have it for today. I am urbano yosabatodo.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello once again I am urbano yosabatoda, con today’s barrio stock market for week of 04182009. Well it’s another Friday and the end of this month is almost here. How about that, another month and we still have money in the bank alright. Now for our brief barrio stock market report for this week:
LOS TAMALES, now on price from last week, $4.50 a dozen.
LOS TAQUITOS: stood pretty stable all week but with a slight increase right at the end. $1.45 a taco.
LAS EMPANADAS: up on price from last week, $.79 cents each.
LA BARBACOA DE CABERZA: stable all week. $5.50 a lb.
CHEAP BEER: held its ground with a slight increase of a $.05 end the week at $3.75 a six pack.
BARRIO WANT ADS:
XDE 5487: old three piece suits for sale. Husband passed away need to get rid of them, size ,44xl 32lent. Make offer.
DER 4584: collection of dimes and penny’s from 2005 for sale. Make offer or trade for dimes and penny’s from 2006.
CED 78923: old furniture for sale. Have lots of love seats that can still give love, sofas open into a large bed, could be used to make love. Make offer.
WED 5284: Looking for woman willing to live in farm and care of farm during the day . must be willing to make tortillas by hand. Leave message.
WER34569: Left over live chickens for sale for next easter.
Ok raza there you have it for today. I am urbano yosabatodo.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
hejolia report for 04162009
Hejola report for 04162009.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, tx. Hello I am bill diaz con today’ s hejola report, But before we get to this, can we talk. Several things we need to get settled. One, now we know that a middle age white man cannot buy A rap c.d. and repeat some of the lyrics on live radio. Hey you can get your ass fired. Second, its IRS time and its that tyme of year where you wish you would have save all your recites, and now for that headline news:
Two local carpenters held hostage by la commadre,
Barrio security guard gets arrested for stealing,
And finally barrio community garden.
This week the volunteers at the barrio community garden are asking for your help in preventing folks from using the garden as a public bathroom. In the last two weeks the volunteers have found lots of toilet paper along the fence and inside the garden area. If you or you know who these person are, please take your movement somewhere else.
In other news, Pancho Martinez, a security guard at the Westinghouse barrio mall was arrested yesterday afternoon by el ojo junior barrio security force 666 at his home. One of the arresting officers tell us que esta panchito had broken into several of the stores at the mall and stole many items of expensive jewelry, plus 750 pair of women’s underpants. Oh by the way esta pancho is not a graduate of el ojo junior barrio private eye school.
And finally, la commadre Pricilla Munoz, 65, was arrested yesterday afternoon by el constable cadena on a complaint filed by el senor Juan Valdez owner of a el barrio let me fix your freaky home. He claims que la commadre held him and one of his helpers imprison for two days a week ago. Mr. Valdez told us que la commadre Munoz held them in her home for two days until we finish remodeling her kitchen for Easter. Mrs. Commadre Munoz will go to court in a few weeks. Oh by the way she was taken to a lala land hospital across the tracks for observation.
Well there you have it. Be safe and watch out for those darn kids. Have a great tejano day.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, tx. Hello I am bill diaz con today’ s hejola report, But before we get to this, can we talk. Several things we need to get settled. One, now we know that a middle age white man cannot buy A rap c.d. and repeat some of the lyrics on live radio. Hey you can get your ass fired. Second, its IRS time and its that tyme of year where you wish you would have save all your recites, and now for that headline news:
Two local carpenters held hostage by la commadre,
Barrio security guard gets arrested for stealing,
And finally barrio community garden.
This week the volunteers at the barrio community garden are asking for your help in preventing folks from using the garden as a public bathroom. In the last two weeks the volunteers have found lots of toilet paper along the fence and inside the garden area. If you or you know who these person are, please take your movement somewhere else.
In other news, Pancho Martinez, a security guard at the Westinghouse barrio mall was arrested yesterday afternoon by el ojo junior barrio security force 666 at his home. One of the arresting officers tell us que esta panchito had broken into several of the stores at the mall and stole many items of expensive jewelry, plus 750 pair of women’s underpants. Oh by the way esta pancho is not a graduate of el ojo junior barrio private eye school.
And finally, la commadre Pricilla Munoz, 65, was arrested yesterday afternoon by el constable cadena on a complaint filed by el senor Juan Valdez owner of a el barrio let me fix your freaky home. He claims que la commadre held him and one of his helpers imprison for two days a week ago. Mr. Valdez told us que la commadre Munoz held them in her home for two days until we finish remodeling her kitchen for Easter. Mrs. Commadre Munoz will go to court in a few weeks. Oh by the way she was taken to a lala land hospital across the tracks for observation.
Well there you have it. Be safe and watch out for those darn kids. Have a great tejano day.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
barrio mall newsletter and blog for 04152009
Barrio mall newsletter and news blogs for 04152009.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Maria la vandia con this week’s barrio mall newsletter and news blogs.
Wow do we have something special for you. This coming weekend both malls’, Ocean front properties mall, and the Westinghouse barrio mall have agreed to put on play day at the malls. Both malls will be having a series of human events and barrio scavenger hunts for all barrio residents and there will also be prizes and cash bailouts. So come on down. But for now lets check to see what events will be held at both malls:
1. Clown unions will be at both malls registering barrio folks for beer drinking contest.
2. Conjunto fest, some of the barrio award winners from the past will be performing tba.
3. Chingos de human contest, como but not limited to:
Watermelon eating contest, jalapenos eating contest, tortilla making contest, menudo eating and cooking contest, barbque contest, horse shoes contest, watcher throwing contest, tamale eating contest, kissing contest, dancing contest, and so much more.
Anyhow how raza come on down and have a great time here at our malls.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Maria la vandia con this week’s barrio mall newsletter and news blogs.
Wow do we have something special for you. This coming weekend both malls’, Ocean front properties mall, and the Westinghouse barrio mall have agreed to put on play day at the malls. Both malls will be having a series of human events and barrio scavenger hunts for all barrio residents and there will also be prizes and cash bailouts. So come on down. But for now lets check to see what events will be held at both malls:
1. Clown unions will be at both malls registering barrio folks for beer drinking contest.
2. Conjunto fest, some of the barrio award winners from the past will be performing tba.
3. Chingos de human contest, como but not limited to:
Watermelon eating contest, jalapenos eating contest, tortilla making contest, menudo eating and cooking contest, barbque contest, horse shoes contest, watcher throwing contest, tamale eating contest, kissing contest, dancing contest, and so much more.
Anyhow how raza come on down and have a great time here at our malls.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
hejolia report for 04142009
Hejolia report for 04142009.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again raza I am bill diaz con todays award winning barrio headline news:
Three comadres arrested for fighting at barrio Easter Sunday wedding.
Two compadres arrested for breaking cascarones and damages.
and finally this year recycle can event was successful.
This year’s los barrio youth were able to collect chingo de recycle cans for its annual recycle can hunt. Mary Morgan Gonzales, ex wife to Manny Morgan, now married to La prima cousin, Henry Gonzales, this year’s recycle can chairperson, told us que it was a very successful one, and not only that the whole barrio was able to throw cans almost everywhere and anyplace. It was a blast and we are looking forward to next year.
When things seem to be going smooth all hell broke loose, that was the case of la familia martinez this passed easter. los dos compadres had warned everybody there que el first one que breaks un cascaron en their heads were going to hear about. well no shit , el compadre pedro didnt take the treat serious, so he took it on his own to take the challegence del otro primo, y ponle con los chingagos. Both men were arrested and released late last night.
And finally it seemed que las tres comadres, which all have been married at least several times got into a fight for the bouquet when the newly bride did its traditional toss. Once the fight stopped all three women were arrested and charged con damaged done to the hall, wedding cake, some table decorations, several bride maids outfits were torn and other stuff that has not been accounted for.
Well there you have it.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again raza I am bill diaz con todays award winning barrio headline news:
Three comadres arrested for fighting at barrio Easter Sunday wedding.
Two compadres arrested for breaking cascarones and damages.
and finally this year recycle can event was successful.
This year’s los barrio youth were able to collect chingo de recycle cans for its annual recycle can hunt. Mary Morgan Gonzales, ex wife to Manny Morgan, now married to La prima cousin, Henry Gonzales, this year’s recycle can chairperson, told us que it was a very successful one, and not only that the whole barrio was able to throw cans almost everywhere and anyplace. It was a blast and we are looking forward to next year.
When things seem to be going smooth all hell broke loose, that was the case of la familia martinez this passed easter. los dos compadres had warned everybody there que el first one que breaks un cascaron en their heads were going to hear about. well no shit , el compadre pedro didnt take the treat serious, so he took it on his own to take the challegence del otro primo, y ponle con los chingagos. Both men were arrested and released late last night.
And finally it seemed que las tres comadres, which all have been married at least several times got into a fight for the bouquet when the newly bride did its traditional toss. Once the fight stopped all three women were arrested and charged con damaged done to the hall, wedding cake, some table decorations, several bride maids outfits were torn and other stuff that has not been accounted for.
Well there you have it.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
hejolia report for 04012009
Hejola report for 04022009.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. NOW OUR MAN FROM WISCONSIN DELLS, DAVID DURAN.
Once again from our command post here in Kingsville. TX and I am david duran con this weeks barrio headline news:
Local camera crew catch robber on film,
Two vatos arrested for intent to robber store.
Hood member also hit by falling bomb.
Yesterday afternoon el constable cadena and his staff went to the site where Eliseo Everett claimed que as the naval air station pilots were practicing a bomb fell out of the sky and nearly hit him. Everett 53 became a local news celebrity. Mr. Everett, who owes his ex-wife more than $10,000 in overdue child support, had not heard or knew of his whereabouts until his face popped up on almost ever TV Station and newspaper. He was arrested this morning at his home.
Yesterday afternoon Larry Garza, 42, was arrested and charged with robbing a barrio Henry’s little convenience store. The report states que the robbery started in one of the back rooms, and the robber thus wasn't aware that a barrio college camera crew from BARRIO UNIT TV was taping a feature on crime in the hood in front of this store. The tape clearly shows esta vato stealing and running through the store and out the front door. He too was catch later at his home.
And finally at a robbery scene in which two young Vatos in wrestlers masks had held up the only video store in the hood, constable cadena questioned two young guys who were sitting at a nearby bus stop and who by the way had wrestlers masks in their pockets. Estos vats both admitted that they had been on their way to rob the video store but said that when they arrived, two other vatos in ski masks were Already robbing it. Constable cadena concluded they were telling the truth because their wrestlers masks were different than the actual robbers' ski masks. The constable said these two vatos might not have known that the penalty for "conspiracy to commit robbery" is almost as much as the penalty for robbery.
Well there you have it from the hood, good day. I am David duran.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. NOW OUR MAN FROM WISCONSIN DELLS, DAVID DURAN.
Once again from our command post here in Kingsville. TX and I am david duran con this weeks barrio headline news:
Local camera crew catch robber on film,
Two vatos arrested for intent to robber store.
Hood member also hit by falling bomb.
Yesterday afternoon el constable cadena and his staff went to the site where Eliseo Everett claimed que as the naval air station pilots were practicing a bomb fell out of the sky and nearly hit him. Everett 53 became a local news celebrity. Mr. Everett, who owes his ex-wife more than $10,000 in overdue child support, had not heard or knew of his whereabouts until his face popped up on almost ever TV Station and newspaper. He was arrested this morning at his home.
Yesterday afternoon Larry Garza, 42, was arrested and charged with robbing a barrio Henry’s little convenience store. The report states que the robbery started in one of the back rooms, and the robber thus wasn't aware that a barrio college camera crew from BARRIO UNIT TV was taping a feature on crime in the hood in front of this store. The tape clearly shows esta vato stealing and running through the store and out the front door. He too was catch later at his home.
And finally at a robbery scene in which two young Vatos in wrestlers masks had held up the only video store in the hood, constable cadena questioned two young guys who were sitting at a nearby bus stop and who by the way had wrestlers masks in their pockets. Estos vats both admitted that they had been on their way to rob the video store but said that when they arrived, two other vatos in ski masks were Already robbing it. Constable cadena concluded they were telling the truth because their wrestlers masks were different than the actual robbers' ski masks. The constable said these two vatos might not have known that the penalty for "conspiracy to commit robbery" is almost as much as the penalty for robbery.
Well there you have it from the hood, good day. I am David duran.
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