barrio headline news for 03242020

Barrio headline news for 03242020.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am bill diaz con todays award winning barrio headline news;

Barrio leaders decide to talk to barrio residents at a third grade vocabulary;

You see a third graders vocabulary is a known fact that you can better understand what you read and hear. So if you hear these words well enough you might want to use them yourself, if you are not a third grader. But remember be precise on what words you are hearing and not understanding can be harm to your life.

So just for the sake of it here are some of those words;

additional	event	region
agreeable	examine	repair
argue	example	ridiculous
arrange	experience	scar
assist	fatal	scatter
attract	flexible	shiver
careless	furious	signal
cause	gathered	similar
climate	gist	slumber
coast	infer	solution
compare	intelligent	starve
construct	invitation	stumble
continent	irritate	tackle
contrast	marine	tentacle
credit	mend	typical
culture	multiply	unite
dangle	nervous	unusual
defend	occur	valuable
describe	opposite	vehicle
details	passage	volunteer
develop	patient	diagram
peer	disappointed	persuade
division	pleasant	effect
prank	elect	predict
purpose	endangered	recognize

Barrio handouts on corona hangovers;

Well its coming by stagecoach, the new idea on issuing a check to everyone accept the hood. You see you got to be in darn good standing with the government; no child support late payments, student loan default, over payment on welfare checks, ss., and unemployment and so on. So if you have a list of things you plan on buying you might as well send it to Sancho Clause...

Westside leaders are determine to convince old barrio resident to die and help our future;

If you have never heard of bull shit well folks you can find it right in the State Of Texas. So go ahead and make plans on dying and not to worry about the future, if you are at the age of 91, you won’t be around that long, says some a-hole elected person. Imagine all your stuff is going to help bring back America first campaign. Rummage sales, garage sales, front yard sales, backyard sales, front room sales, sidewalk sales. All these deals will boom our economy. Good ahead and good luck with all that...

Trumpas family moving into Fama Building for their protection, not;

It sees that there was a lack of communication on who, when, and how a building build by our tax monies by some private school. This private schools are claiming all the fama buildings built are under their control and will only allow the Trumpas access to them... so we can sleep at ease tonight knowing the royal barrio leaders will not be expose to the corona hangover virus.. Dang/

Just to make a point, when I was in first grade they asked me to write my name on the board, I told them if I knew how to write my name I would be in second grade. Have a great day.

barrio headline news for 03192020

Barrio headline news for 03192020.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello raza how is that Corona Hangover going? Now for our award winning head line news:

Injuries during a toilet paper riot;

La Commadre Nelda Rivas is suing one of el barrio’s super market for the injuries suffered last week we she was overcome by customers trying to get that last roll of toilet paper.

Her law suit claimed injuries to nearly every single part of her body. According to her petition: "All the bones, organs, muscles, tendons, tissues, nerves, veins, arteries, ligaments ... discs, cartilages, and the joints of her body were fractured, broken, ruptured, punctured, compressed, dislocated, separated, bruised, contused, narrowed, lacerated, burned, cut, torn, wrenched, swollen, strained, sprained, inflamed and infected."Dang, sounds to me a like pretty severe calcium and iron deficiency.

Barrio voters want to leave politics to the real prostitutes;

The result from the two weeks ago election are in and our favor candidate Juana La Cuban a known sexual service-provider ran for barrio leadership was not elected. Juana a well-known prostitute with a police rap a mile long lost her race against a real prostitute Tomas Trumpas, barrio leader. We asked her what will she do now and she said I am going to open and operate Slave Cave for 80 and over, and a phone-home cleaning service until next years’ election.

Barrio getting crazier;

Acting on the complaint of an 89-year-old female motorist in the hood, the constable stopped a driver whom she said had pulled alongside her at the corner of third and wells, flashed him by pressing a nude photograph of herself against his window. Charges are pending!

How desperate can you get?

 Henry Susana Al-Pino, a room cleaner at the Barrio Alley-Way Express was arrested at the only local Wire Union and charged with forgery after improperly trying to cash a check made out to his employer. The man produced a photo ID that gave his name as Mr. "Barrio Alley-Way." After questioning him, the Wire Union manager said, "OK, Mr. Express, I'll be right back (with the money)" and then called the constable.

 And finally what went wrong;

Barrio school Principal Pablo Cortez, pleaded guilty to smashing glass doors and windows of buildings along corner of third and Wells Street with a slingshot. El constable suspected him breaking hundreds of other windows in hood, since he is also co-owner of barrio Glass Company, trying to increase his elicit business.

Keep it up and you can go a long long way.

barrio headline news 03182020

Barrio mall newsletter and news blogs for 03182009/2020.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Maria la vandia con this weeks barrio mall newsletter and news blogs. First let’s get to our Ocean front properties mall manager and her report, Hilma Dalia Hawkins.

Si maria y como estan. We are very pleased to announce que our own barrio graduate, Eddie Little T Trevino has received his degree in dermatology and has open his office here at ocean front. He will be providing medical services to patients con acne, or cancer problems and will also served those patients con beauty-treatments, such as plastic surgery, and botox for barrio patients. He will have very luxurious waiting rooms and promises to be more personalized than those doctors across the tracks do. Payment plans are available and ways to pay your own way with minimal paperwork. Remember our motto “ if I do you, then you owe me”.

In addition maria, we have added a new dimension to our customers service here at ocean front. We will be having live performances artists doing their thing inside both men and women restrooms. In addition our performing artist will provide soap and towels for our customers using our bathrooms. It’s a great idea and a better way to get to know your tejano artist. Back to you Maria.

Ok hilma from ocean front properties mall. Now lets go con Gloria Guerra mall manager from Westinghouse barrio mall.

Well maria, it’s this way, our barrio zoo on the third floor of our mall will be shut down for a few days and months based on the broken down poor management and failure to pass international inspections and animal sickness and attrition and a deteriorating cages and among the other problems our mall has encounter. Regardless what they say, I still believe in our mall and we will make sure that you can come an feed the animal here without having to bribe anyone. We plan on temporary moving the barrio zoo to our mall parking lot, but all visitors are being warned not to feed the crack heads that hang around the mall.
And in addition maria, we have opened a new nudist restaurant on the second floor. All employees including the bus boys and the kitchen cooks will all be in the nude. The owner of this restaurant, “Una onda sin calzones café” wants to appeal to those persons that hate to eat and wear clothing. We are hoping que this café will attract 25 diners per day. You can eat and drink naked, we also plan on having a barrio naked showcase where crazy chon y su adult toy store will display some of the toys it has for your enjoyment, once a month.

So as you can see we are very excited about this new addition and hope que you can come over and take your clothes off and have a drink on the house.

Ok raza there you have it from our command post I am maria la vandia counting dow

barrio headline news for 03192020

Barrio headline news for 03172020.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, texas. Hello I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio leader blames women for barrio corona hangovers;

Yesterday our barrio leader told a hand full of chickens and dogs and cats at a press conference only for domestic pets that he was sick and tired of all the complaints that women have again this hangovers. Look if you stopped going to bar’s and sit there real pretty and hoping some man or person will buy you a corona, there no else to blame but yourself, he also pointed out that if you are looking for love you must be at all the wrong places.

Women and men raid barrio leader corona bar;

Yesterday afternoon a ton of men and women raided Barrio leader’s Corona bar just opened a few days ago. The reason was that someone painted or spray painted on his front wall of his corona bar that they were serving free corona’s to the first ton of men and  women that showed up. It was reported that at least 7 persons were served.

Two men arrested;

Late last night a few vato’s were arrested after they stole several bails of recycle newspapers during the day. Juanito y Juanota Munoz were arrested at their home backyard where they were trying to sells this recycle paper as toilet paper in the hood. El constable said that they were trying to profit from the recent crisis; the shortage of toilet paper in the hood. El constable said he will hold on to theses bails until they go to court sometime 2025.

One finally point on the corona hangover virus; don’t leave home without it!

barrio headline news for 03112020

Barrio headline news for 03112020.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,Texas. Hello again I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news;

La corona virus on the edge;

Barrio health officials has issued La Corona hangover virus warning for all folks under the age of 100 years old. This warning is really not a warning but a warning that might come out sooner or later to warn us about this Virus. So be prepared to move into those concentration cities, coming soon.

Barrio street fest cancelled;

Yesterday barrio leaders announced que they were going to cancel this year’s garage sales fest schedule for the next 2 weeks starting this coming weekend. Barrio leader Tomas Trumpas told us que it wasn’t his idea to cancel but he wanted to go along to come along.

Tomas Trumpas runs for re-election;

Barrio leader Tomas Trumpas announced que he was running for re-election as barrio leader this coming year. He told us que things have never been so good to all of us since he became barrio leader (yea right) and he feels que he is the only one in the whole wide world that he can bull-shit his way to another 4 more years.

Ok raza go a vote…

barrio headline news for 03092020

Barrio headline news for 03092020.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news;

Commadre smarty pants;

Victoria Luna, 51, in custody at the barrio hold cell for a barroom shooting, apparently smuggled her gun into the jail at the time of her arrest by putting it inside her vagina. A shot was fired in a holding cell, and according to a fellow prisoner, the gun had gone off when Luna sat down on a bench in the cell. No one was hurt but la commadre going have a hard time explaining that extra hole!

Who needs an education:

This pasted February, a sixth-grader at barrio Middle School was suspended and charged with a felony based on constable Cadena police report, when he brought powdered sugar to class for a science project and jokingly told another student that it was cocaine. A custodian overheard the conversation and reported him.

 Late last week we found out that half/dozens of blind students enrolled at our barrio school required to take driver education classes. One sightless but otherwise optimistic student told us she resented the requirement because it made her uncharacteristically dwell on something that she cannot do.

And finally some dare good news; the constable tells us que the found the missing tooth that was reported missing.

Ok smile now cry later.

barrio headline news for 03022020

Barrio award winning headline news for 03022020.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con our award winning barrio headline news;

Barrio prepared for coronavirus;

Yesterday the only barrio medical person told us que as long as you are eating refried beans and tortillas and a little rice you will not get that virus. Dr. Want to be Maria Jessika Pena gave her advice at the corner of third and wells.

Blues grass vs. home grown grass make big hit in the hood;

So folks have called el constable Cadena about some blues grass going around the hood that are making lots of folks sicker than a dog. He not sure where that blue grass is coming from but he sure it’s not from around here.

Country pancho and county Leroy busted;

The only two hillbillies living in the hood were arrested for selling their blue grass weed that is making lots of people stone deaf. Country Pancho and County Leroy as you might remember this two boy’s were a product of a chicana mother and some hillbilly father that claim that they are not the wants selling this blues grass in the hood. The only blue grass we know is the music we play. Charges are pending.

Ok raza get your dancing shoes on and do it..