hejola report for 07312013

Hejola report for 07312013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello once again I am bill diaz, Now for our award winning barrio headline news:

Two get arrested outside dance hall,

 Five honor over saving several chickens,

 And finally the barrio vato goes to college.

 Just yesterday morning a few vato’s who managed to get their g.e.d. during the summer were accepted at our local community college as freshmen. But the sad part of this whole trip was how expensive it is to go to college now a days. Since both vato’s live below the poverty level they were able to get some free aid but were concern con tantos loans they have to borrow in order to pay for this ordeal. We will keep track on this vatos and their adventure in college.

 Now for other news, five men and women were honor late last night at our barrio community cruz rojo center on their brave efforts on saving a bunch of chickens on the express way from getting run over. Si, says el constable cadena que estos folks were on the express trying to round up estos pollos and nearly got run over. At that time they were arrested for being on the express way but charges were later dropped. Good job raza.

 And finally, it started as a contest for the best polka dancing couple and ended up as a free for all outside the dance hall when a few contestants bumped into each other during the contestants. El constable is not sure how or why but it seems que looked like when one many a dance turn con su partner que it knocked down several of the other dancers. Chinga and than chit hit the fan. The arrested dancers and a few on lookers were arrested.

Ok raza there you have it for today, counting down towards the end of the year. oh yea.

hejola report for 07302013

Hjeola report for 07302013.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, texas. Hello raza how are we doing I am Veronica la Lesbian con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
New gay conjunto “Night Spot Light” (Luz de Noche) tours the hood.
Barrio resident pissed at off at barrio leaders.
And finally some good news.
We heard that our new pope, has said that he is no one to judge gays, we here and you there wrote a story back in 1997, that told about la raza families and how every raza has a gay relative, but we don’t talk about , it’s true. So whats the big issue? Heck my uncle, she don’t like anymore, played a big role in many of our lifes.
Yesterday the same old people with the same old group “let me put the finger on you committee” attended to disrupt repairs to the corner of third and wells. It seemed that this group wanted a sign put that stated no standing on the corner after midnight, but instead the barrio leader put a sign that read “no law against standing in the corner”. Three members of this barrio redneck group were arrested and hauled off to jail across the tracks, when they tried to remove the sign. The leader of this group russel ruff redneck told us que they were tired of watch good men and women spend their valuable time standing on this corner.  El constable told us que he will have several of his barrio 666 task forces watch over this new sign. Editor note:
Yesterday at the Westinghouse barrio mall the new gay conjunto “night spot light”, “ Luz de Noche” have announced their three day tour of Tejano bars in the hood. This conjunto made up of four men and two women will be tour the following bars:
August 3, “ two tons of fun” conjunto gay bar.
August 4, Dos Brothers bar.
August 5, Westinghouse barrio mall piano bar.
Gay or not come on by and listen to your favor Tejano hits sung and performed by “Luz de Noche conjunto”.
Ok raza have a great happy day.

hejola report for 07292013

Hejola report for 07292013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx. Hello again my name is Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

 

La charanga makes a big come back.

Ten men arrested after Tejano bashing.

And finally some real good news.

It has been determine que this year’s Sept 16 festival will feature world classcharanga dances, and will be performing at our barrio westhinhouse barrio mall, our barrio this year will be well represented by our very own charanga dance Dona Makememadorelse. We wish her the very best of luck and make sure you wear your winning prize.

Yesterday ten chicanos were arrested after they chased down a poor barrio resident dressed as a Tejano. After the bashing of this poor vato, asked the constable, que what happen to his Tejano sombre? Charges will be filed.

Yesterday afternoon, the only Tejano gay bar had its first annual “lets do la Charanga” dance contest. The winner of this year’s contest was la commadre Dona Makememadorelse, was declared the winner of this year’s dance contest, when she out charanga ten men and women. This year’s award was a beautiful traditional Mexican outfit, made for both her and he and he and her. Con graduations Makememadeorelse.

Ok raza have a great Tejano day, charanga!!!

Barrio stock market report for 07262013.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. My name is urbano Yosabatodo con today’s award winning barrio stock market report:

First of all mi raza when barrio companies report their profits and losses every quarter, some are making it and others are not. No I am not trying to say que todos las barrio stocks aren't making monies by being part of this market, but what I am saying es que some are making money, and are just making enough to stay above water. But is that not what business is all about, staying above water?

Now for that award winning barrio stock market report:
Los taquitos: one of the major problems con los taquitos this quarter is que local taco stands are doing a poor job of producing good tacos. Many of the emails we get on this topic, tell us que los tacos aren't what they use to be. Los taquitos ended the week at $1.25each.

Las empanadas:
Las empanadas seemed to have had a great turn around these last few months. We are told que sales are high and raza are investing mucho mas on las empanadas,like never before. It seems que barrio empanada makers and its shareholders are really putting its profits back into its business. Las empanadas ended the week at $.89 cents each.

Las tortillas:
Many tortillas companies have reported how much of their earnings have kept them reinvesting and retained earnings. But they say que part of it is que small barrio companies don't disclosing what they would have paid in salaries and other French benefits to their now low paid workers. Las tortillas ended the week at $1.45 a pack.

Los tamales:
It really hasn't been a surprise recently in noticing el tamale market is on a bounce for this quarter. What real has helped this market is the well
coordinated and well organized barrio companies are getting. Now
que our tamale guy has not been seen for at least three months and our new
tamale expert has had a heart attack. We were forced to work a bit harder in
gathering this information for you all. One major investor told us yesterday que they were planning to expand its market way beyond the county lines. Los tamales ended the week at an all time high at $6.00 a dozen .

La barbacoa de cabesa:
Now this is very interesting. It seems que el constable cadena was able to have arrested three folks involved on that llama thing we mention last week. Well its all solved now and the llama meat is back on schedule, we should see some llama meat at our barrio meat markets real soon. La barabacoa ended the week at $6.50 a lb.

Alcohol consummation report:
Here is a new twist in drinking or consumming alcohol in el barrio. Personal
responsibility: It is up to each individual barrio member, not our local or
state or even federal government, to make responsible decisions about your
drunk ass life. Personal responsibility raza is the key to a more decent and
just barrio and a just society. State, federal, and local employees, too, must be accountable for their actions, just like barrio members that don't have jobs. And that also includes bar and tavern owners.

 Cheap beer ended the week at $2.99 a six pack.

 

 

Barrio want ads:

 

#237485 used tongs for sale so pretty used and some pretty big , which every one you want we have.

 

#986335 used tires for cars, trucks and bicycles only flat in the bottom.

 

#458399 home made under wear for small medium and large persons. Send naked picture to determine what size. Yea right.

 

#764667 used bongs and used wongs for sale.

#2389232 women’s bras for sale.

 

#98836 look for play mate to spend some playtime and adult role play. Send pictures.

 

BARRIO REALTORS REPORT: Well we all knew it was going to happen and it did.

 

 

 

Ok raza there you have it, for today and hope que you keep your money in your
pocket. It's a long time till Christmas. Get those layaway going.

hejola report for 07232013

Hejola report for 07232013.

Cchwnn:

Kignsville, texas. Once again from our command post I am alcardio samudio, bill diaz has the rest of the week off. Before we read our barrio headline news, let’s talk a bit about facts. Did you know it’s a fact que many barrio members are gearing up for xmas? Did you know que not too many stores left here in the hood don’t have lay a way plans? Oh well, I feel better, now for that award winning barrio headline news:

 

Maria la vandia release early from county jail.

New shopping center plans to open soon.

And two vatos get arrested for stealing watermelons.

 

Yesterday afternoon el constable cadena reported to us que while on patrol he noticed a truck full of watermelons was parked at a local corner taco stand. While the owner of the truck was eating inside the small taco stand, he noticed que several barrio hood members were stealing a few of his prize watermelons without paying for them. When the constable circled back to confront this two vato’s, they hauled ass con chingos de watermelons.. The constable once a high school miler took off on foot to capture them boys. After a few miles of jogging around the hood, el constable was able to run them down y con las watermelons. El constable will keep all five watermelons for evidence; a court date has been set for august 18.

 

In other news, we were informed que maria la vandia will be released this coming Friday from the county jail for good behavior. We will have a very special report on her release and future plans as a barrio investigator report. Welcome back maria.  Oh by the way our creator Daniel will have a meeting con cchwnn staff to see her future here con our news network. Off the record maria told us que there are several news networking asking her to see if she would want to go and work for them. Huh.

 

And finally we were informed que since the Westinghouse barrio mall might not meet its deadline on bringing the mall up to standards, several barrio big shots met con some other big shots and have decided to invest in opening a small shopping center. Something like a trade center. Its plans were finalized and plan on opening its doors on Sept. 16, 203, we here and you there will keep our eyes and ears open for any information we can get on this new venture por estos big shots.

 

Well there you have and we want to thank members of the “Tejano journal”who  are official declared vatos website of the month. Great job. Now for those other tejano website you too will honored or have been honored.  We are just plan honored.  Now for our command post I ma alcardio samuido and have a great tejano day.

hejola report for 07222013

hejola report for 0722201

by cchwnn » Mon Jul 22, 2013 2:46 pm

hejola report for 07222013.
Kingsville,tx. Now from our command post here the man of the hour for the hour on the hour David Duran.
Viva la raza como estan todos?Si raza we are all gearing up for our 11th reunion and conference to be held on Wednesday at our make believe Westinghouse barrio mall con this year’s host will be La China Cano de China Nueva Leon.
Si raza estomos very excited about all this. We will have workshops con our staff and of course after hour party and hoping que by Friday we will have a summary of the future of this news cast. So for now we will bring you some old news. Again thank you and see you all soon.
CHICANO CABLE HOT WIRED NEWS NETWORK: con bill diaz,
hello como estan todos today? And now con our news:
Now in responding to the person who posted in helping others,,, how many times do we really want to get involved? And How many times we just dont care or dont help OTHERS? And how many times is it just a sign from God that he tests us?
I know as a fact in small town it could be different, but is it? Since we know everybody, you would think que you would want to help someone.
I know as a fact our creator has tested me in at least try 3 in saving a person or shall i say, I was in the right place at the right time. Now for case study number one, a student falls bust his head on the floor, ten person walk right by him? What does anyone help no, but I do , and even took the chances of getting blood on our hands. What was the results, all most got fired for not being more carefully.
Now for case study 2. at his bar and friend doesn’t feel well, falls back and needs assistance, again our creator was there, jumped on that fat man and started to provide the little assistance need to help this person. It’s a miracle.
And finally last week our creator was driving to pick up his grand kids and man on a 11 foot latter falls on the side walk and bounces back onto the road. And in god we trust our creator Daniel was just in the neck of time to assist this person and get him out of the street and called 811.
I know it might sound like a lot of bull, but I guess he would have done this in a big tow? We are not sure, but we all knows que his heart is in right place and to that man who wanted to help that old lady, I would be worried, sometime our god just wants to check his faith in man kind.

Have a nice day, we are moving our offices sites to our new location.. we will also have a new web site really really soon, and we are all excited here,, raza have a nice day and remember puro party con el shorty......

barrio stock market report for 07192013

Informe de mercado de valores de barrio para 07192013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx. Como estan todos, soy yosabatodo urbano, y como estan todos, para informe de mercado de valores de barrio galardonado:

> Los taquitos, terminó la semana en $1,35 cada una, hasta de la semana pasada, el café es extra.

> Los tamales tomaron una inmersión en ese paso firme esta semana,

Pero terminó la semana en $6,00 una docena.

> Las tortillas, está subiendo el precio. Las tortillas $1,45 un paquete.

¿Creo que el maíz tortillas? Sí.

La barbacoa de caberas terminó la semana estable que la semana pasada,

$7,00 lb llama barbacoa en $3,50 libras es la solución.

< Las empanadas son nubes, terminando la semana en $.69.

Pesse hejola.

< cerveza barata es más barata, no arriba de la semana pasada en $3,25, mira hacia fuera el gas.

< una bolsa de bolsa de cinco libras de arroz va $ 9.50.

< una bolsa de bolsa de 5 libras de frijoles pintos va por $2,35.

BARRIO ANUNCIOS:

#87979: Chingos de ropa mojadas para la venta, hacer oferta.

#76544: varias motosierras para alquiler y venta.

#56778: yarda de trabajo y dispuestos a vivir contigo por un tiempo.

#6785: así tocones de árbol para la venta, que ofrecen y recoger.

Bueno raza tiene un gran fin de semana, si no puedes comer eso no comprarlo.

hejola report for 07182013

Hejola report for 07182013.
Cchwnn
Once again mi raza como estan todos, I am bill Diaz con today’s hejola report. Well as we all expected it, el taconaso dance hall went off in a real big bang. It was a sellout crowd and eager for that cyber tejano music. All the groups showed up and did a great job, making us aware of why they are barrio music award winners. And now back to the today’s hejola report:
El compadre watches over his seven daughters,
La commadre scalps el primo in trying to style his hair,
And finally juanito Johnson gets 30 days in jail for his action inside the courtroom.
El primito juanito Johnson got 30 extra days added to his nine-month community control sentences at a hearing Monday morning. It seems que juanito apparently didn’t like that so many of his lawyers motions were being denied by the justice of the peace, suddenly reached over and slapped and began strangling his lawyer, until court officers pulled him off.
In other news la commadre was also giving some type of community services sentence for partially scalping el primo. It seems que el primo was convinced by la commadre to try and style his hair con un pincha power drill, a technique he saw on TV. La commadre was sentenced due to the fact que she knew que it was a bad idea because she had previously screwed up her own hair trying it out. Pesse hejola.
And finally it was good to see el senior don goyetio Moreno y su seven daughters at our dance last night. Don goyetio is known for watching over his seven beautiful daughters at ever function the family attends. Don goyetio is kind of old fashion where any man wanting to dance con su daughters must ask him for permission there at the dance hall. Our records show que don goyetio has been doing this for over twenty-five years. His oldest daughter is 396 years of age and his youngest daughter is 27 years of age. There is really no plans in the future for anyone of this girls getting married. Ole well.
Ok raza there you have it for today, I am bill diaz and have a great tejano day.

westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 07072013

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 07172013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello I am Gloria Guerra con todays mall newsletter. Well since public and higher education schools are getting ready to start within a few weeks, don’t you think its time to put stuff on lay a way? Now for that great lay a way plan here is our own lay a way a guy Alcardio Samudio, con that report.

 

Si Gloria a lay a way plan has always been a good deal for many in the hood. Did you know que at one time a lay a way plan was the only way we could afford to buy stuff for Christmas and of course birthdays and of course the first class days. I remember when we were children we just couldn’t want to get all that new clothes for school that were lay a way for several months. Shut up, Christmas was more exciting. So the moral of the question is are you ready to lay a way all those special things our children and in some case you will need?

 

Ok thanks Al, I will make a note of that for our Christmas lay a way plan. Now let’s go to our consumer person el general Fideo Vermicelli, si raza Fideo here con how to save on that lay a way plan. Look why would you spend chingos de money on a pair of new jeans that look like the ones I wore in 1960? Just wash them and put them in a used major department store box and acting like you bought them there. No one will notice, believe they won’t, you know why? Because its very rare that you buy anything for anyone. Now back to Gloria.

And now about that Tejano gay bar that they plan on opening here at the mall> thanks for that report.

Gee thanks for that weak advise, hejola, I am Gloria Guerra have a great Tejano day.

hejola report for 06162013

Hejola report for 07162013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx. Hello I am David Duran con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Gay tejanos rally goes wrong.

Barrio prepare for a new communications systems plan for the hood.

And finally some good news.

Well the good news is that the city will allow, again that the 1959 xmas decorations will be left up till the end of the year, due to the fact que all this xmas lights have decrease the  crime rate in the hood. We see qreat thing happening with this xmas lights have done for our hood. And not only that but has made the hood more of a jolly place to live.

After the long three block march, held yesterday, 20 or so gay tejanos were rushed to st.paul’s medical center located at the Westinghouse barrio mall after they were over heated by being out in the sun that long. One of the workers at the medical center told us que eso ways need to get in better shape if they plan on marching up and down certain streets for certain causes, during the summer time. He also suggested que they shouldn’t be wearing all that Tejano stuff on especial in the middle of the day, it’s just darn to hot.

Yesterday barrio leaders and city leaders are looking into allowing “half smoke will travel” a permit to operate its new communication system in the hood starting 2030. This new way to communicate would allow people to send smoke signals all over the hood without having those high price rates that other communicates systems charge. The owner, Long Winded Gomez tells us que it’s been used for years and it doesn’t have to have any back up data, just light it up and away you go sending signals. Both groups will determine if such a communicates is really needed.

Ok jolly wally, have a great day, I am  David Duran from Fond Du Lac.

hejola report for 07152013

Hejola report for 07152013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx. Hello again I am bill diaz con todays award winning barrio hejola report. Now for that report:

 

Barrio home care company busted,

New drug store busted,

And finally new streets are planned.

 

Some one in the hood heard that the city founders are planning in rebuilding all the streets in el barrio. How and when it was not made clear but we do know que we heard this before. Oh who will pay for it was not discussed and when?

 

In other news Garcia’s drug store was busted shortly after it had opened its doors right across the street from the mall. El constable cadena tells us que the drug store didn’t have all the permits or the licenses that were required. After talking with the owner, mr. Garcia, he told us que all he wanted to do was help people get well. Oh well we really are not sure when the drug store will have another grant opening.

 

And finally pat’s home care company shut its doors down yesterday after noon when we found out that it was an escort services for old folks. It seen que pat the owner had hired a bunch of x stripers and hired them to care for old men and women. Well after some of the kin folks of some of the old folks realized que they were coming up short con su month money. They filed a complaint at the court house across the tracks. Charges are pending during this investigation.

 

Well folks there you have it I am bill diaz till the chit hit the fan.

hejola report for 07112013

Hejola report  for 07112013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,texas. Hello there my friends and what in world wide of sports are we doing today, I am Frankie tuxedo Zuniga con today’ award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio members prepare for a long hot summer.

Increase of ice block on the move.

And finally some good news.

Yesterday we were told that several Tejano organizations have agreed to acknowledge gay Tejano artists. This is great news for the only Tejano bar “ two tons of Fun”. Easy Bunny, the manager of this bar tells us now there they can bring in real Tejano music into their bar. Its great move we think. Now we can all  see our compadres y commadres getting down con few good polkas.. oh yea. Keep it gay vato.

 

Keep it Cool, a new barrio ice making company is hitting it big this past few weeks, with their old fashion but new trend on keep cool this summer. The deal is that this company has re-cycle old fashion water cooler and has convert them into modern day air conditions with a catch to it. You have to add a block of ice, which keeps the air it blows cool. The owners tell us that that block of ice can last up to two or three hours. Now the plus behind this is that you can also water your yard with the melted ice. “ keep it cool” tell us that blocks of ice are going fast and are still at that give away price.

 

We just informed que the complete Westside of our hood was in the edge of night? That means that if some of the barrio folks don’t make payments on their past electric bills the whole darn Westside might just get shut down, says el electric guy Ben Cases. Yes, he told us que some folks like that air conditioner but forget que some one got to pay for that luxury .

 

Ok raza have a cool day and stay cool because if you aint cool you aint shit.

hejola report for 07102013

Hejola report for 07102013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx. Como estan again I am bill diaz and we are back from that short long nass vacation que we spend too little too much. But we are back in full swing and now let’s get to that award winning headline news:

Barrio man fakes heart attack and arrested.

Several arrested after barrio Ex, deliver drugs.

And finally, barrio elder gets stuck under her wheelchair.

La senora maria ruiz somehow fell down and brought her wheelchair down with her, when she reached over to get her pill bottle, managed to tip over her wheel chair and fell on top of her. After several days of not answering her phone, her relatives came over to see if she was alright and found her pinned down. El constable tells us que she will be alright. No charges will be filed against the wheel chair.

First of all, seemed que two vatos didn’t realize que you could get into lots of trouble by shipping drugs via barrioEX delivery service. Well known for its great barrio services, it seemed que barrio EX made a small mistake and delivered the 100 pounds of weed to the wrong address. Once el constable was called in, he and his barrio forces 666 posed as barrioEX employess intended to deliver the stuff, they arrested two vatos who’s names are being withheld..

And finally, It seems que el compadre hector manula cantu just don’t know when to stop his bull shit. It seems que el compadre was arrested at the Westinghouse barrio mall for faking his 33nd heart attack in ten days. In doing this he has avoid paying a shit load off restaurant bills  and taxi fares. El constable cadena was going to let him go at his last attack but it seemed que los vatos loco volunteer firefighters recognized him from his last faked heart attack. El compadre is facing some serious charges.

Well raza its good to be back, and rolling again.

hejola report for 07052013

Hejola report for 04052013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, texas. Now here is Bill Diaz. And hello again raza como estan todo? Now for our award winning barrio headline news.

City leaders make decision on our side of the track about Christmas decorations for the summer.

Westinghouse barrio mall looking for new stores,

And finally barrio constable looking for person’s to claim arrested barrio members still locked up from new year’s party bust.

 

But first of all, The city leaders from across the tracks have decided to leave the Christmas decoration all year round at our side of the tracks. This decision came after last week’s meeting. One leader said it’s cheaper to leave them up and instead of taking them down. Another leader said, we aren’t too worried about them decoration over there anyhow.””Them decorations are from the 1978-year anyhow”.

Gloria Guerra the Westinghouse barrio mall,Managers told us que they were looking for a few new stores to open at the mall. So if you are interested in opening a store or something like that, just call 361-558-2263,and ask for Gloria. By the way make sure and read “la voz del Westinghouse barrio newsletter” every Wednesday, on all the updates on special and sales.

And finally el constable cadena tells us que he still has 28 barrio members locked: 12 Hispanics, 9 gringos, 5 African Americans, and the balance he was not really sure what they were! Or where from?  You might remember que these were the folks that we arrested at that New Years Eve party bust on new years eve. El constable tells us que only 3 persons have been claimed since Sunday.

He is real worried que if these folks don’t get claimed soon, he might have to claim them on his income tax this year 2012. He told us que he was lucky que he busted them on the 31st. of December and not on the 1st. of Jan. 2013, (just for the record neither the county nor the city reimburse el constable for providing for detainees, waiting to be released or transferred.) el constable by law is allowed to establish a providers fee per detainee and is allowed by law to set a basic fee per detainee on a daily bases while been locked up.

 

Ok raza have a great Tejano day.