westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 04282017

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter 04282017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Once again I am Gloria Guerra con Today’s mall newsletter. Well the owners and myself,

Having been thinking about re-opening our conjunto enchanted  Dance land this coming July 4 of this year, more on that con our own politico General Fideo vermicelli.

Bueno Gloria the idea is back, having had the first conjunto enchanted dance land was an experience before and re-opening the dance land and camping grounds could bring people back to the mall. As a matter of fact Gloria, re-opening the camping ground here at the mall is a great idea. Now not only can shopper spend all day at the mall, they can now camp out at the mall, fabulous idea.

Ok general we will stay in touch, now let’s go con our man in the street Frankie tuxedo zuniga con his report.

Well Gloria we had planned for the biggest fun run in el barrio for Cinco de Mayo. The fun run was for a 10 k run in the hood, and the route was to cover major barrio areas and sites. It’s a great and safe route, but that was the cause of its cancelations, it wasn’t as safe as they pointed out so it was canceled. Look el constable told us how in the world are you going to run a race in the hood when there are a bunch of wild dogs, chicken,turkey,duck and a few farm animals on the loose. It aint going to happen.

Ok Frankie great job, and Frankie be careful. Well and finally let’s go con our own maria la vandia con a few words about this coming Cinco de Mayo!

We all know that this not a national holiday so raza don’t take time to take leave  for  this day, save it for fathers day ,,Look ladies it’s not every day  you love your man like you use too. Why not go and put that little outfit he gave you some time ago and slip right into and make his day. I know it fits a bit tight but who cares. I know que el compadre will really appreciate it. And girls don’t argue this weekend con el compadre, just make his day, if possible.

Ok thanks maria for those loving words, well folks there you go. have a great day.

hejola report for 04272017

Hejola report for 04272017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville. Tx. Hello amigos como estan, I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Home owners refuse to move. then tricked to leave the place.

Barrio resident eats wife for dinner.

And finally, increase of layaways.

Some barrio store owners told us que they were very excited que this year they saw a 100 percent increase on layaways for this Christmas. Si says Manuel Rios a owner of one the largest stores at the Westinghouse barrio mall. Oh yea, it’s going to be a great Christmas.

It had been several days before anyone had seen la commadre mary Janie Martinez. El compadre told el constable who was investigating a missing persons report, que la commadre got drunk several nights ago and when for a walk never came back. At the same time el constable asked el compadre what he was cooking for dinner and he said some beef head. Once el compadre gave el constable permission to go inside the home, el constable went over and took a look at that real good smelling beef head, which turned out to be la commadres head. Charges will be filed. Oh by the way, the head was taken in as evidences.

Yesterday a team of demolishing team arrived somewhere near the corner of third and wells were stop shortly after a family refusing to move from their home that was sold without their permission. La family Katie Lozano y su ten sons, known as the sons of Katie lozaon,were surrounded yesterday by all types of law enforcement when they refused to move from their home that was schedule to be leveled. But the family tells us que they didn’t sign any paperwork or agreement to sell their property. The family was asked to live the place so they could go find an attorney, which the all agreed to go. Once they all left the property, the crew continued to demolish the place. When the family came back con their lawyer, the question is what happen to the house?

Ok raza got to go and see you all later gator.

hejola report for 04262017

Hejola report for 04262017

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again, Bill Diaz con our award winning barrio headline news:

 

Three arrested con evil weed.

Barrio big plans for 4 of July on Cinco de Mayo turn out small.

And finally spring break  for monkies.

Yesterday the only school in the nation for pet monkies informed us que school was out for spring break. So if you had or have a monkey registered at that school you need to go by and pick it up or else. That was what the school administrator told us yesterday during a very exclusive interview. Yea..

Let me put the finger on you committee has layout this year’s barrio 4 of July fest will be held this cinco de mayo. The theme that was selected is “ keep it American”, has changed to ‘Let keep Mexican Americans in check”.The whole committees were excited and are going to paint the whole hood red, white, Green and blue with tax payer’s monies. The group hopes to convince the city to dish out 20 thousand gallons of paint for the hood... wow.

Yesterday evening el constable did his job by arrested three vato’s standing at the corner of third and wells for selling evil weed. This weed or evil weed was just plain lawn grass with a little mint in it and dried out a bit. The constable took a hit from one of the cigarettes they were selling and didn’t get a buzz. He told them three boys que if you going to be selling chit, might as well sell the real thing. Charges will be filed. Oh by the way el constable will keep the 3 thousand cigarettes he took from them three as evidence.

Ok raza keep it Tejano

westinghouse barrio mall newsletter 04252017

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter 04252017. Cchwnn. Kingsville, tx.... Once again I am Gloria Guerra the mall manager of this fine mall, besides all you read all about us is not true, especially on that hejola barrio headline news. Now the clown fest, has been reschedule for this weekend. It turned out that none of the clowns that got busted here at the mall were not real clowns, just plan clowns. But we are going to hire extra security just to make sure. In the past we have had a bunch of bad clowns come here and kind of damages some parts of the mall, but some serious talks have been held con the two clown union here in the hood que they will try an act their age. But besides all this bull, let’s go to maria la vandia con here report at the mall stage. Si Gloria, I am maria y chingos de pe-do has been going on here at the mall this past few days. It looks like a war zone con chingos de cops y narcoses. Pero we do have our act together for this weekend. It seems that the clown fest always brings out lots of children y family. So make it a day of fun and joy. Ok thanks maria, now let’s go con our sports guy Frankie tuxedo zuniga. Oh yea raza como estan, I am Frankie con a very privileged to announce que we will be having all kind of competition during this clown fest. Some of the events are the following: Throwing pie contest. Eating beans and rice contest. Watermelon spitting seed contest. Three legged clown race. Balloon blowing contest. Beer drinking contest. La commadre wrestling matches. Pin the tail on la commadre and compadre. Now they have warned the clowns that if they start any shit they are going to jail. So as you can see Gloria we have chingos de things to do this coming weekend at our annual clown fest 2017. Ok Frankie an keep itup boy, now let’s make sure we got this right, the clown fest 2017 is back on schedule and we have lots of thing for the whole family, and lots of security has been hired just in case que los clown lose la onda. I am Gloria Guerra mall manager, and have a great Tejano day . and to all the $100 dollars ladies oh yea.

hejola report for 04242017

Hejola report for 04242017
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again mi raza como estan, well there has been chingos de action this past few days so lets get to our award winning barrio headline news.
barrio robber busted at st. paul’ medical center.
Barrio doctors tell us que increase of tapeworms.
And finally family feud kills several family members.
According to constable cadena report, he tells us que two barrio families that have been feuding for at ten years created a big ass ruckus late last night. It seems que la family Martinez killed la family Munoz’s cat, so when el senor found out he went over and shot la family Martinez prize winning pit bull. So when mr. Martinez found out he went over and shot mr. munoz and his oldest daughter. By the time el constable got there, several shots were fired at his barrio security force 666 and wounding at four of el constable staff. Furthermore before he could shoot el constable cadena, he manager to shoot el senor Martinez in the head several times, fatally wounding mr. Martinez. Charges are still pending due to the fact que no witness were alive to point out who fired the first shot.
In other odd news, Yesterday afternoon el doctor DR. CHON CHINGO CHON, medical leader for St. paul’s medical center gave Westside residents some real bad news at el barrio cruz rojo community center. He told the crowd of about 3 people que eating taco and other great Mexican dishes was a very serious matter for all off those that lived on our side of the tracks (Westside). He pointed out que some of those tapeworms grow inside many of us and can get up about 100 feet in length. He recommends que in order to prevent the little worms, he recommend eating more Chinese food, who by the way owns one right here at the Westinghouse barrio mall. At the same time he gave out discount cards to all the crowd. He plans on publishing his report in a view months con el Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter.
And finally, It seems que chuy Ruelas, age unknown (32), visited the st. paul’s medical center late last night as he fled from El Barrio taco stand #7 that he had robber. It seems que chuy was running through la comadre backyards and didn’t see la commadre Maria Munoz cloth line which knocked him down and fell into a dig right next to her back yard, causing him to tumble down the dig and into a big hole. In doing this he lost control of his gun and his stash, during his fall. When he reported to the medical center he had a broken left leg, right arm and a real serious burn around his neck. The staff at the medical center were very suspicious when they asked him on how he was going to pay, and he pulled out the deposit bag from el barrio taco stand #7. Staff then called 918 and contacted el constable cadena. Chuy was arrested at the medical center.
Ok raza, just to make an odd point, keep your cats and dogs locked up.

barrio baile study for 2017, part2.

barrio baile study for 2017, part 2.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello I am la china cano de china Nuevo leon con this very important barrio study for 2017, part 2. This pasted year I spend chingos de time at las cantinas, dance halls, and chingos de club, And came up with these conclusion.

Looking for love.

 Looking for a lost love.

 and looking for trouble.

Let’s deal con looking for love. When one is young and full of life it’s so easy to go out all night long and looking for that one nite stand. Always looking for that special person and looking. An as one might say go out and find someone, in this case bar hopping. Sometime the majority of the ones that you are looking at,  could have found that one special person they were looking for also. So it’s a looking here and looking there. But do we find what we are looking for all night long? Nay..

Now let’s deal con looking for a lost love. Here are the ones we had and just couldn’t keep and now they are still looking again, yet you are still willing to look at them again. It’s a lost cause my friend. We believe that once they leave, there ain’t no coming back. But many of us love that kind of love, que we are determined to make that lost love ours again. But by now that lost love is still looking and I am sure they are looking at you.

And finally, looking for trouble? Ok by now you realize que we found love, lost that love and now looking for trouble. Did you know, I am sure you do, que there has been an increase of bar fights this pasted year, up at least 22 percent from last year at this time. And the majority of bar fights that we monitor were started by women. And in some cases, fighting over lost love, or looking at a new love that has its own love already, or just plain misunderstanding. In most cases misunderstanding.

Starting fights at bars is not really a good thing. There could be some many things go wrong que you might just get your ass whipped, and some time not even by the person or persons you started a fight with. Our study shows one case of a friend that got his tooth knock out by trying to separate a friend from a fight. Pesse hejola, he didn’t even see the punch.

 

So there you have it, our conclusion is stay home if you can’t act your age, and if you can act your age act your age.

I am la china cano.

hejola report for 04202017

 

Hejola report for 04202017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio dog trainer busted for stealing dogs.

Increase of stray animals in the increases.

And finally real love turns out to be your pet.

Before his arrest this past few days,“here Boy” Munoz, the only barrio dog trainer, had  his new book on training barrio dogs on display at the mall. The name of the book is “Helping Dogs help themselves”, was to be released in a few days. But for now the book signing date is pending on his release from jail.

El constable cadena will be the main speaker at tonight community program where he will address the large number of dogs, cats and some farm animals that have strayed into the hood lately. Cadena tells us que tonight meeting will be very important, because he plans on submitting his proposal to decrease the number of stray’s in the hood. He was not ready to announce his plan till after the meeting and may be in the year 2022, when his plan will be finalized.

Yesterday evening el constable stopped a 1978, 2 door ford whatever and found at least 27 dogs inside the vehicle. The owner and driver of the car was the only barrio dog trainer “here boy” Munoz, and was arrested for driving with too many dogs. El constable told us que they weren’t sure how he was able to driving when he barely fit in the car. But after further investigation and questioning some of the dogs, it turned out that half of the dogs had been reported missing. One of the dogs told this reporter “ bark bark barkkekssl”. All the dogs were arrested and some were later released to their proper owners, the other were let loose and allowed to wonder into the darken streets. “Here Boy” was fined and was taken to the local lalal land clinic for observation that evening.

Ok raza there you have it have a great day

hejola report for 04192017

Hejolia report for 04192017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. Hi bill Diaz here, now for our award winning barrio headline news;

Roaches go to college.

Vato arrested along with his two farm animals.

And finally study tells us que Tejano gone gay.

A recent study published by our world known writer, David Duran, a known gay Tejano advocate, wrote about how some many tejanos are coming out of the  closet. In his trailer about his recent study he tells us que chingos de Tejano men and Tejano women are letting it all hang out and declaring themselves part of  a new generation of tejanos and don’t really care if people say anything about them dancing con men or women. It seems que many Tejano men have been seen  dancing with each other at several dances due to the fact que there wasn’t that many women to dance with. Chinga.   This of course isn’t a problem for women, since they have been doing all along. For more information concerning this study, please look in the mirror.

Yesterday Juan Lomas was arrested for DWI and was hauled off to jail along with his two farm animal pets. His two year old brown pig and his miniature horse were also given a ticket for being in the car with esta drunk vato. El constable went one step further and tied the farm animals to a tree near the window where Juan was locked up. He told us that the reason he did that was because he couldn’t stop them pet’s from meowing. Somehow Juan had taught his pets to sound like cats, you figure!!!

Yesterday classes were dismissed earlier than usual at our local community college due to the fact that a troupe of barrio roaches raided their campus. Campus director Al Gomez told this reported that those roaches looked like they knew where they were going. Once again el barrio roach killer was called to do his thing. The campus director also mention que if them roaches come back today we just won’t open the doors.

 

 

Ok raza got to go, have a jolly good day.

hejola report for 04182017

Hejola report for 04182017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. hello again raza I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Yesterday we found out que el constable cadena y some real cops from across the tracks have come over to the Westside to arrest maria perez and charged her con hiring a hit man to help her try and kill six person, so she could steal a brick of cocaine. But in turn it turned out to be “barrios mama luz queso fresco cheese” .According to el constable, ms. Perez had peeped inside this folks window and saw this large block of crubly, white, barrio-cuisine cheese on their kitchen table and thought it was a big pile of cocaine. The report says que she had plotted to return that evening and kill anyone in the home old enough to testify against her. pesse hejola.                                                                                                                                                  

>Barrio education suffers serious wounds,

In other news, Jimmy smithwick, a barrio educator, having return from the war with a paperweight he found there. Mr smithwick was hospitalized at the st. paul’s medical center here at the Westinghouse barrio mall with severe burns and shrapnel wounds, and lost part of his left hand, when he try to smash a cockroach with a his newly found paperweight on his desk. The some called paperweight was a 40 mm artillery shell, unknown to mr smithwick, was still alive. Mr smithwick was also charged with the endangerment of his students. Oh by the way mr smithwick was rushed to a real hospital after the folks at the st pauls medical center couldn’t do not for him here.                                                                                                       

>Pincha vato tries to rob barrio cellular phone shop.

And finally, el constable again is asking barrio members for its help in finding el vato who tried to burglarize the only barrio cellular phone shop sometime last night. The store owner Max soso Chonz, told us que the dude que whoa trya roba oura storea trieda toa shoota opena thea doorsa locka , buta ita seema que thea bulleta ricocheteda anda hita thea mana ina thea chesta, knockinga hima downa. Mr. chonz also told us que he was sure que the bullet likely did not break the skin but said que probablya startlinga anda painfula, alsoa quea thisa mana vomiteda ata thea scenea beforea hea fleda.  So the constable is asking anyone in the hood for information leading to who did this crime. There is a small reward being offered.

OK RAZA THERE YOU HAVE IT, have a great Tejano day!!!

hejola report for 04172017

HEJOLIA REPORT for 04172017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tex. NOW FROM BOMB BAY RESTURANT, DAVID DURAN,

 I LOVE INDIA FOOD ITS SPICES AND HOT, NOW FOR THE HEADLINE NEWS:

Barrio hires educated folks to solve rat problems,

Barrio member dies on field trip to Grand Canyon,

 And finally Westinghouse barrio mall opening soon

Well its final, all the dots are completed and all the contracts are signed, and the city has finally approved the malls new modifications and read to open. We will have the schedule of events sooner than late. The mall plans to open on NOV. 6, PLEASE NOTE QUE THE ACTIVITES PLANNED WILL BE ON OUR WEB SITE……….T.B.A/

EL BARRIO HAS ANNOUCNED que the hood cleanup Campaign, will be held in a few weeks, and announced it had 70 job openings for rat Catchers; it has received at least 320 applications. The funny thing was says Mark Chapa que half of the applicants were college graduates. Gee …

And finally this past week we were informed que the Grand Canyon claimed it’s another Death-by-fall victim of the year. It seems que faultino Guzman toppled over backward as he tried to position him selves to accommodate a group picture, Said The director of a local outdoors group, that was the case con esta vato, "A lot of tourists approach the Grand Canyon like a ride at Disneyland . . . and think it's idiot-proof. The Grand Canyon wasn't build by attorneys and engineers, but by Mother Nature. Mr. Guzman body was shipped c.o.d. on the same day. The Guzman family plans to make it home in time to accept the body.

Ok raza got to go now and will be back tomorrow. I am david duran., good day

hejola report for 041420017

Hejola report for 04142017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx Como estan and I am Jonathon barrio your new host, bill Diaz is on assignment. 

Now for our hejola headline news:

Westinghouse barrio mall continues its leadership in la onda tejana.

Cchwnn has been declared the new Chicano movement.

And finally a brief report from our man David Duran on his second journey.

Now a few words for our vato on his second trip around the world, here is his documented report from Rome, Italy where he has been there for at least a month. Are you there David:

David: “ciao come siamo che facciamo, sono duran di david che segnala da Roma, Italia. è così posto historial uno dovrebbe vivere qui un tempo di vita per visitare tutti i relativi luoghi e la storia che ha casted circa noi la gente è grande e saremo qui un mese per vedere quanto possiamo imparare circa questo posto bello”.

Now a few words from our friend at the Westinghouse barrio mall Gloria Guerra.

Si  thank you Jonathon barrio. This week we will have la commadre boxing matches, at our taqucha barrio sports complexes the start of our barrio taqucha conjunto soccer season start Saturday and el barrio conjunto enchanted land theme park will have its summer series of conjunto award winners concerts. All this will be announced sooner or later, la voz del Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter and now back to Jonathon.

Thanks Gloria a great job out there at the mall pushing for la onda tejana. Now a political stand from our creator Daniel here is general fideo vermicelli.

Si our leader Daniel is a very bold man. He just got barred from a so-called Chicano site. Our posting their lead us to believe que muchos Chicanos is self-destructives. Such sites censor its memberships. It’s sad que not all agree with our posting on different site. We understand that and we encourage to just skip our chit.  Now, when we get barred from a website, where we have posted for at least 60 days and not one hit. Well we know that no one is interested. The only one it seems that is reading our news is the owner of this so-called Chicano site. He and he alone disagreed with one of our news coverage. He decides to call us up on it and calls us a bunch of drunks and tired of babysitting us. When in reality we are the only ones visiting that web site AND KEEP HIS BUTT ALIVE!

We declared que la onda Chicana will live forever. We declared que we trust and have always respected the owners ship of website that make themselves public when the start a message board. We declared que we alone will determine our future. We declared que we will love all our brothers and sister that are determined to make and keep la onda alive in wherever mention we use.

From our command post here in Kingsville tex. I am Jonathon barrios.

Your business is our business and my business is none of your business.

hejola report for 04132017

Hejola report for 04132017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. hello amigos como estan, I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Easter recycle  can hunt prepare for this weekend.

La Commadre leaves her compadre for la commadre next door.

And finally an Easter feeling.

Its nice to know que we made it thur another Easter, having love ones and relatives over the weekend and spending money we don’t have. Many of the families in the hood have decided que they will start charging a fee for those non relatives that tag along. So if you plan on coming into the hood there is a new toll road that you have to pay to get into the hood to help off set muchos de los bills the hood has to pay. So be kind and bring changes.

Marriage is like riding a bike sometime you get there and sometime you don’t. Well that was not the case con la commadre Laura Gomez who for some reason fell in love con la Commadre Dora Silva. They were both happily married for many years and sooner or later Ms Gomez husband tried to make a move on la commadre next door and was caught in the middle of this odd affair con Ms. Silva., well to make a long story short both women agreed that they would run off with each other and seek gold at some other hood, leaving that two timing vato behind. At this time there is no clue of the where abouts.oh by the way the two husbands have decide to move in with each other hoping que their wives come back sooner or later.

It seems that barrio members and barrio leader Tomas Trumpas will hold its annual recycle Can hunt at the Westinghouse barrio mall area and are very excited that the group were able to reach its goal this year of collecting cans to hind. It is very exciting watching barrio members just throwing their recycle cans everywhere and anywhere so our barrio young leader the idea of recycling. This coming SunDay come on down.  This year a small fee will be charge to all the children willing to go hunting for those cans. $50 a child.

Ok raza and for all those single men and women hang in there and your Easter bunny will be home for sure.

hejola report for 04122017

Hejola report for 04122017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx, Como estan I am bill diaz, once again back from that long vacation our creator took and too dang lazy to write. But we are back and do we have things to report about. Now con today’s hejola barrio headline news:

Some Barrio family member prepare for terror this coming weekend.

Increase of concrete blocks and other barrio surveyor kits.

Westinghouse barrio mall update under reconstruction.

For some reasons or another many barrio members are either buying or trying to make their own underground bunkers. And in doing this an increase of concrete blocks and lots of garden tools have been sold all over the barrio on both sides of the tracks. City officials will beef up barrio inspections of such bunkers and to make sure they meet some code.

La familia garica is preparing for lots of terror this coming weekend. It’s their 30th family reunion and Easter,they have lots of their cousins y primos not well trained in the hood como son de rancho will be in town. La family is asking lots of the barrio members not to come over unless you have a case of beer and lots of guts. Porque estos son puuuro borricasso….. something like that. They have gone as far as hiring several barrio security666 forces to watch over the hood this weekend.

And finally el Westinghouse barrio mall is moving real slow in meeting its deadline in reopening its doors. It’s not in the near futures says a spoken person for the mall.

Well there you have it for today. I am bill diaz for our barrio war torn area.

hejola report for 04102017

Hejola report  for 04102017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx. Hey I am veronica Lebanese and have not reported for a while. You see I have been on assignment and having had the time to be here. But since I am here and you are there, here is my hejola weekend report for (04162012).

Bowling alley college student worker is being investigated.

Good news for those that don’t have water.

And finally barrio lotto winners are announced.

Yesterday was our 21th barrio lotto for 2012. As you already know que the lotto is based on how much is donated and so on. But since our office got closed down says el mero lotto guy Juan Cortez, at the mall we had not been able to collect all the cans that gather the barrio eight ball lotto. Anyhow don’t dwell in the past. This week’s winner was Maria shine, the takes the grand prize of $50.00.

In other news the barrio city fathers and mothers announced today que water rates were going up and down. And for those that had illegal hook ups the city is looking for you. The new rates will be mailed to all the barrio members in Westside.

And finally el constable cadena is investigating a case at the local college bowling alley. It seems que within the last few days several folks have gotten hurt on the lanes. It seems que Jose Martinez bowling alley student worker took it on his own and over waxed the lanes. It seems que he was sick and tired of people passing the line that divides the lane and where a person can deliver the bowling ball. Several major complaints have been filed that have gotten injured during his shift. El constable has not file charges against esta student.

 

 

Ok raza there you have it and have a great tejano day

hejola report for 04072017

hejola report for 04072017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Como estan I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Ten chickens, and several ducks to be sold at barrio auction.

Barrio leaders prepare for rain .

And finally, bingo house re-opened again.

After the state and federal officials reviewed on how the bingo house was operating they decided to allow them to continue using extra bingo numbers, just to assure que if a bingo  ping pong fell on the floor que that bingo number was still be called due to the fact que there were several inside the machine anyway.

Yesterday afternoon an emergency task force met con la senora Sanchez who tells the future, que a large amount of rain was headed this way real soon. So she informed the group que we should make plans for it. The group left this important meeting once the free donuts and coffee had finish without laying a plan for these future stormy days.

The city barrio leaders have announced that they can no longer support a barrio operated animal shelter, so they have decided to auction all the animals that have been locked up for several days and months. Please visit the barrio website to see which animals will be auction of, But for sure ten chickens and several ducks. Please note that our auction will include that donkey and the three horses that no one claimed.

Ok raza have a great day raza, remember May 13.

hejola report for 04052017

Hejolia report for 04252012. Cchwnn.
...

Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Bill daiz con today’s award winning barrio headline news.
El piggy flu hits the hood.
Three drunks arrested with drunk pig.
And finally, the story, that got away.
I am sure you know by now que el pig played a very important role in our American history. Throughout the years the pig has been a great provider of food, especially those that love tamales. And that is why la familia Gonzales had to determine whether Simon, the pig, a future farmer of America project for their son was subject to is slaughtered. That is the headline news, this morning, Simon the pig, turned up missing, and there is a small reward being offer for any information pertaining to Simon, please contact our office if you hear anything, I mean anything.
Late last night el constable back on duty arrested three vato’ and a passenger that was so drunk que he looked like a pig says el constable cadena. Si this person was so freaking drunken que he looked like a drunken pig. All three men and el passenger where being held at el barrio corral jail. Except the passenger, he was taken to jail across the tracks.
And finally, los barrio leaders are preparing for the worries. It seems que el piggy flue has hit the hood and barrio leaders are trying to cancel all programs and activities for this weekend. Three women, two kids, three men and several cats and dogs were taken to the local doctor for evaluation, and it seems que there were some traces of esta piggy flu in them. We will have an update on this matter as we gather it.
Well that is it for today, I am bill Diaz, and making sure que you don’t shake hands nor kiss anyone for the next few days.

hejola report for 04032017

Hejola report for 04032017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx. Once again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news.

Barrio vato arrested for dressing like la commadre.

Ten chickens arrested at the edge of night.

And finally some good news.

La commadre maria Gomez announced today que her little boy, Junior, age 47 had just graduated for beauty hair dressing school from the Westinghouse barrio mall. Now la commadre Maria says que her little boy can cut hair with a license and has not to worry about getting arrested again. Just for the record, her son had been arrested several times for cutting hair without any kind of licenses and had at one time cut a man’s ear off when he moved from the chair due to the fact que, he, junior,  the barber was being raided. Congratulations junior.

El constable cadena was called to the edge of the barrio city limits when several folks reported que they had seen at least ten chickens roaming around at the edge of night. When the constable got to the edge of night, some of the chickens recognized el constable patrol car and made a run for it. After the dust settled el constable was able to catch at least two chickens and a duck from nowhere. The chickens were arrested and taken in for questioning.

Yesterday el compadre Juanito de la rosa, was arrested in front of the Westinghouse barrio mall dress la the commadre next door. What got him arrested was not for what he stand for, but was arrested when his prima, la commadre, noticed que he was wearing a dress she had reported stolen a few days ago. When el constable cadena got there he did notice que he was wearing something similar to what had been reported stolen. Charges are pending to see if la commadre can still fit in the dress she claimed stolen.

 

 

Ok raza have a great day