Barrio stock market report for 05292015;

Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Once again como estan raza? Si its Friday and the end is near. Don’t you just love those fools that preach que the end is near, or this and that. Heck man has survived mucho mas que now, so let’s all tell us ourself, I just love life.

Anyway how did this discussion start I don’t know. Now let talk about the confidence we have had over the last two months. First lots of folks spend so much money here lately waiting for those darn storms that never got here. Our assessments of the current barrio conditions remain positive.
But are a bit worried que a significant amount of raza will have a real hard winter this year with the much higher home heating bills this winter. And to add to this the less number of barrio members not going out as much due to he increase of gasoline.

All this might just take some cheer out of the upcoming holiday season. We recommend to all business in the hood que to avoid a blue Christmas, they need to lure shoppers con chingos de sales and discounts, starting now. Now for our barrio report:

Las tortillas: Well la tortilla war of 2005 has not move either this way or that way and continues to see a slow start in rehiring barrio members that got layoff a few months ago. “Las tortillas in a can” own by a gringo company from across the tracks sales have increase at least 3 percent say ceo/ged/abe/esl/ Don Miller. Oh yea them folks over there are sure eating them tortillas. Las tortillas ended the week at $1.25 a dozen. Or .85 cents in a can.

Las empanadas:
Las empanada consumer has not or even made an effort to confront those claiming business that sell their empanadas at an over rated price, but state que son fresh. Those claiming que their empanadas are better than those over there, have shown an increase of 18.5 percent. What type of an attitude should barrio consumers get watching this companies increase the price of empanadas when actually are filled with less filling. Las empanadas ended the week at $.89 cents each and that cup of coffee is extra.


Los taquitos:

Los taquitos board of consumer here in our hood have demonstrated que the price of taquitos has plummeted down to as low one has seen in a long time. There are several reasons why says manuel Gonzales a barrio consumer. Si now que there are more than ten taco stands in the hood it’s better for all of now. Todos de estos want our business but realize que they have to lower the price of taquitos. Tejano tacos one new barrio taco small restaurant is leading the way in doing this by dropping the price to $.99 cents each and a free cup of coffee. This has really effected other larger taco stands and barrio restaurants, which tell us que its declined on sells has been around 10 percent up to 15 percent in some cases. Los taquitos ended the week at a very stable price of $.99 cent each.

Los tamales:

Los tamales have plummeted up to $6.00 a dozen, and Christmas not even here. Consumers are being warrant que los tamales are on the rise and if you are aware of anyone or any place selling them cheaper I would buy them now and freeze for later. Los tamales ended the week at $6.00 a dozen.

La barbacoa de cabeza:
La barbacoa de cabeza has had consumer real excited here in the hood. Since the day que we mention que llamas will be the new beef in the hood for the future the employment picture looks real good. While those that claim que there are no jobs and our hood unemployment rate is at its lowest of 22 percent     ((please note this number is based on our block alone). But we see it different now que las llamas will create plentiful of jobs here in the hood. From the farm to the slaughter horse, somewhere down that chain we need people says el senor rubio owner of our new llama rancho in the edge of the hood. La barbacoa de cabeza ended the week at $5.65 a lbs.

Cheap beer:

Cheap beer took a small jump up to $4.99 a six pack. But beer consumers really don’t mind now que many are staying home.

Well raza there you have it and now for our realtor report.

Our hood has had a large number of apartments vacates. Many of the barrio owners of this apartments or homes don’t live here in town or live across the tracks.

In most cases many owners hired or let folks that live in their apartments manage them and all the owner does is pick up the rent. Many complaints have been filed against this owner in que the folks they leave in charge don’t do the work needed to keep this apartments or homes up to standards.
From missing water heaters to stolen air conditioners have been reported and most of these items have been stolen from realities of those in charge.


Well raza there you have, and remember if you can’t eat it don’t buy it.

2015 barrio zodiac signs by Maria La Vandia..etc

2015 barrio zodiac signs by maria la vandia

2015 barrio zodiac signs by Maria la Vandia.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx.Maria la Vandia con el barrio New Zodiac signs that have been assigned to your birthday. This of course is going to cause so many problems, for raza that thought they knew their signs and dress accordingly. So birth stones and dress codes will be required to change if you still want to follow such a thing. So here are the changes:
The old, than the new, and now the new barrio sign:

1.Birthdays Dec. 22 thur Jan. 19 was Capricon, than 2011 became Sagittaris , now barrio sign Spaghetti O.
2.Birthdays Jan. 20 thur Feb. 18 was Aquarius than 2011 became Capricon, now barrio sign Car Hubcap.
3. Birthdays Feb. 19 thur March 11 was Pisces than 2011 became Aquarius, now barrio sign a bajo sexto.
4. Birthdays March 12 thur April 18 was Aries than 2011 became Pisces, now barrio sign Accordion .
5. Birthdays for April 19 thru May 21 Taurus, than 2011 became Aries, now barrio sign flat tire.
6. Birthdays from May 21 thru June 20 was Gemini, than 2011 became a Taurus, now barrio sign set of drums.
7. Birthdays from June 21 thru July 22 was Cancer , than 2011 became Gemini, now barrio sign headphones.
8. Birthdays from July 23 thru August 22 was Leo, than 2011 became cancer, now barrio sign taqucha.
9. Birthdays from August 23 thru Sept. 22 was Virgo, than 2011 became Leo, now barrio sign Keg of beer.
10. Birthdays from Sept. 23 thru Oct. 22 was a Libra, than 2011 became a Virgo, now barrio sign Screen Door.
11. Birthdays from Oct.23 thru Nov. 21 was a Scorpio, than 2011 became a Libra, now barrio sign is Cockroach.
12. Birthdays from Nov. 22 to Dec. 21 was a Sagittarius, than 2011 became a Scorpion, now barrio sign is the latter.
All this changes come because one of the smart guys here in the in the hood told us que the earth has moved from its axels, heck and we still thought that he still lived at the corner of third and wells.
Anyhow raza please mark this day as a new date. I am Maria la Vandia, good day.

hejola report for 05292015

Hejola report for 05292015.

 Cchwnn.

 Kingsville, texas. Hello again, I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

 Higher education higher issues were discussed at local barrio college.

 Increase of arrests predicted for this summer....

 And now some good news.

 Yesterday the local vocational school announced que they were going to expand their vocational courses to include such classes but not limited to the following :

 Course 254 : Half the truth is often a great lie.

 Course 351: What happened today, liar.

 Course 585: how lie to your parent with a smile.

 The barrio administrator hopes que by taking these classes will improve your situation in life.

 In other news, constable was tell us que his monthly report on crime for the month of May was higher than previous years. He also indicated que it could have been all those want be tejanos’ and some real tejanos’ cause problems at oneTejano gay bar. The constable told us que he had no major problems with that gay Tejano bar, it’s the real Tejanos guys trying to come out of the closet are the ones having all the issues and causing them problems with in the hood.

And finally, today several high income parents complaint que the cost of education was too dam high. And that their $100,000, annual income and family of 4 with one in college, was not going to cover anything due to the fact que they only got loans. But it really wasn’t that bad, on the other side of the room were the low income families with less than $30,000 annual income and family of 4 with one in college who were also offer loans and so free funds were very excited to see their children having the opportunity go to college. Don’t you just love our country!!! The barrio college administrator said que the poorer the family the more they were willing to invest in their students compared to the families with a lesser educational need and larger recourses, were not up to the fact que they were going to folk out some money to help pay for college.

 Ok raza have a great educated day and always remember it’s not how much you know , it who you know and how much it cost you to know.

hejola report for 05282015

Hejola report for 05282015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello como estan, I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Family Gomez took all the cookies, more for us?

Reunion of semi-pro baseball team.

And finally few tejanos pissed off.

 

Today was nothing different from other days, when we have single tejano’s and their supporters, not athletic supporter but individuals that drink from the cup pissed off when they were asked why  their  group was wanting to hold a secret gathering to determine the future of la onda tejana; which they felt they represented. Many in the hood told us que estos ways, hadn’t done nothing only benefit from their own ideology ideas and their needs only.  A special barrio meeting will be held to discuss this matter in 2033, make sure to attend this session, that’s if you are still alive.

This weekend will mark the 30^th anniversary that Los Amigos semi- pro baseball team last played.  This weekend these old goats will join together and will play against a team much older than they are. The team that has agreed to show up for this challenge has yet not mention, how many team members they will have to face Los Amigos. The team captain for  the challengers Ben Perez, age 82, say que he is really sure que his team will be there and has assure us que someone is going to get there butt whipped.   Good luck guys and make sure you bring your diaper and your will with you. Oh by the way the other team has to get permission to leave the home for a few hours., with some younger supervision.   

 

Yesterday la familia Gomez were arrested when they determine que they were only interested in their needs and not the rest of the hood. Its really sad, says el comparde Juan Perez, one of the families que didn’t get any cookies,  que esta familia, Gomez, took all the cookies from the cookie jar and didn’t leave any for the rest of us. This type of selfness is what cause us not have faith in bull shitter, wearing Tejano clothing.

 

Ok raza and to all los gringitos that have learn the game, have a great Tejano day way

hejola report for 05222015

Hejola report for 05222015.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, TX hello again, I am bill Diaz con today’s award winning headline news:
Young baseball ends in a good note.
Barrio bicycle permits on the rise.
El compadre busted on barrio face libro.
Juan P. Pepper was arrested yesterday afternoon by an organization in the hood named I am watching you vato, for displaying himself in a homemade tong, and placing the picture on his web site. The picture would have been no big deal, but his web site is a known site for children’s songs and poems. Lots of people were very disappointed con Mr. Double p for posting such a picture; he must have had a brain fart. Charges are pending. Oh by the way the website has been shut down.

Yesterday afternoon was el barrio bicycle day where no cars, trucks or any motor type vehicles allowed driving thru the corner of third and wells and along third and wells. El constable tells us que more and more barrio residents are pedaling themselves around more than ever before. He told this reporter que the increase of bicycle permits was up 3 new permits compared to the 2 permits they had last year at this time.

Young baseball program for 2015 finally ended this past weekend, where program organizers were very happy it did. Leo lee Chong, the director of the program told us que this year was the best they ever had and que the list of incidents wasn’t that bad compared to previous years. The best thing that happen this year was the ban on parents not allowed to chase foul balls rule really help us in cutting down on injuries during the games. Last year we reported que 4 adults were serious injured in doing so. 3 broken legs and one broken arm were report last years for chasing foul balls and wereawarded a few snow cone for bring them balls in. Thank god this season is over.
Ok raza got to go and keep it tejano.

hejola report for 05212015

 

 

Hejola report for 05212015

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello raza como estan, general fideo vermicelli con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Rain doesn’t stop street dance, but turns into a mud bath war.

Barrio tong car wash shut down.

And finally big man with a big dream dies.

As you might remember in 1998 our friend el vato Gordo, a barrio young Olympian, better known as the big man with a big dream in qualifying for the Olympics as a marathon runner. Our friend Gordo, the man with a big dream, only problem was that he was 6’3” inch tall and weigh in at around 450lbs. he had been trying to lose weight and train at the same time for that 26.2 miles. Well yesterday afternoon while training on his regular route he collapse on the side of the highway, and no one noticed him till about 3 hours later, when a barrio employee notice a mountain of trash on the side of the road, which really was el Gordo. He was pronounced die on the scene and was carrier off another three hours later when the barrio staff had to wait for a front end loader. An investigation will be done. Sorry Gordo.

 

After a few hundred complaints the constable and his barrio 666 task forces shut down the only barrio car wash. The attracting element at this establishment was the great service it provided its customers. This great service was that all female staff persons were required to wear a nice pretty little tong. Well a good thing never lasts, for the most exciting business on this side of the tracks had to close its doors. The judge that signed the order told us que it was kool for all the females to wear whatever they were required to wear but in some cases the women worn that little nice pretty tong that was a little nice pretty smaller than what they usually wore. No charges will be filed but the owner told us que he might open in a few days when he can find bikinis that won’t violate the law.

Last night the weekly barrio street dances was delayed due to lighting, but within a few hours la raza, were all getting down and dirty. The dance was going great until some smart butt threw a handful of mud at the crowd and the crowd responded with their own handful of mud. After the mud war of 2012, all remained calm and pleasant till the end of the dance. No arrests were made but a few pissed off folks did mention something about someone got their dirty muddy azz kicked.

 

Ok raza have a great Tejano day.

hejola report for 05202015

Hejola report for 05202015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx.hello again raza I am David polar Bear Duran con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

30 cats and 20 dogs arrested along with owners.

Going to college is a big deal, so what’s the deal.

And finally some darn good news.

After the big deal was made aware to all barrio members, barrio dealers were on full alert thinking que it could be a secret code by el constable Cadena wanting to take over the hood’s dealing area and the services they provide to barrio residents. One of the dealers told us it’s a big deal and we want to deal with it within dealing reasons. Huh!

A group of barrio educators, all having at least a GED decided to start a campaign in the hood to promote higher education at a cheaper rate. The idea was the brain child of Samudio Gomez, aka smart-ass told us que it was about time que barrio member were made aware que going to college was a big deal here in the hood and should be treated as a big deal regardless if you can afford it or not. So what’s the big deal?

You know drinking and driving can be very dangerous thing, but driving and hugging your pets could be worse that drinking. That was the case this morning around 4 am when el constable cadena was staking out a car driven by two persons at the same time. It seemed que Matt and Marshal both friends were making room for the 50 or so pets they had in their car as they tried to move them to their new apartment around the corner of third and wells. When el constable walked over to see what was going on he noticed that both men were sitting on each other on the driver’s side of the car.  When he asked them what’s going, one of the men responded by saying “nothing”. Both men were arrested and all 50 pets were taken in also for questioning. Oh by the way 3 pigs and 5 birds and 17 gold fish were found in the trunk of the car were also taking in for questioning,

Ok raza have a great Tejano day and what’s the big deal?

westinghousr barrio mall newsletter for 05192015

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 05192015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx. Once again I am Gloria Guerra con this week’s barrio mall newsletter, if you didn’t know by now its economic stimulus weekend brought to you by our barrio leaders . Yea, your heard us right its economic stimulus weekend where everything here at the mall is on sale. Just bring that little check that we hope you will get in a few days, over here and buy a bunch of things. But for now let’s go con Maria la vandia down at the main showcase center.

Si, si Gloria y como estan, estamos real excited con this idea que esta checque is coming soon, reminds me de vato que everybody knows, sancho clause is coming to town. I am sure que when we were kids we all wish for thing from sancho clause pero como everything else, it never came. Well, this checque could be an adult disappointment tambien. Now let’s go back to Gloria.

Ok sancho clause. Yea, thanks maria. Now let’s go con Frankie tuxedio zungia con his report on the economic stimulus fun run weekend onda.

Si Gloria we have a bunch of things going on, first of all Saturday morning it’s our “economic stimulus 5 k fun run”, which will be about 7 laps around the mall parking lot. We have also asked the local two clown unions to come out to do their thing. But besides all that we have many many barrio award winning bands for Saturday and Sunday. So come on out and don’t

Be prepared to spend all that little check right here, en your barrio mall, remember, why go to corpus and spend it there when we have all of it here. Now back to Gloria.

Oh yea Frankie, why go to corpus, that’s right why?

Well raza last but not least let’s have a rare visit to the third floor and speak con Ramon Ruiz the barrio zoo.

Thanks Gloria, I just want to remind all la raza de que here at the barrio zoo we have all kind of little critters that hang out at your home right here at one location. So come on down to our Barrio zoo economic stimulus weekend and visit them little critters you see in your home. Back to Gloria.

Ok thanks Ramon and now raza have a great day and hug a Tejano.

westside warrior news network for 05182015

Westside warrior news network for 05182015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx Hello again folks is Lewis mojo Lewis with our award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio sancho clause shot,

Barrio street light are not working,

And finally barrio lotto leaders arrested.

It seems that if things could go wrong, they will. Well that is the issue con our barrio lotto, I am sure many were hoping to get a chance on winning or getting some free bucks from our barrio lotto, well it’s not going to happen. Late last night real county cops and city police along con el constable cadena busted Manuel Vela the acting director for the barrio lotto on charges of steal barrio funds, Spending barrio funds, misleading board of directors for lotto, and losing almost all the lotto funds on gambling, and traveling charges with no proof he went anywhere, and buying personal stuff. His court hearing is pending.

In the last twelve days there has not been one single barrio street light working starting from the Westside along the north bound railroad tracks, all the way down third street up to the corner of Richard street and down towards 6 th street. City official from across the tracks have told Westside resident that local taxes and other stuff is supposed to pay for such city services but since no one on our side of the tracks have not paid their yearly taxes, the city took it on their own to shut all city street light power off until some folks down here pay up.

And finally, our man sancho clause was shot three times late last night when somebody was trying to car jack his home made look alike santa clause sled which he welded onto his 1979 ford whatever. His conditions are not known at this time but our constable cadena is asking for your help, if anyone has seen or heard anything dealing with this matter please contact us..

Ok raza there you have and have a great tejano day.

hejola report for 05152015

Hejola report for 05152015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. Hello again Como estan I am bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news;

Drunk gets arrested for sitting in the wrong car.

Barbeque missing.

And finally, la commadre finds father of her child.

In recent months la commadre has been saying que junior was not the father of tres, their brand new baby boy. Well after the blood test came back, it turned out que junior was the father de tres was his new son. Now la commadre has to decide if she wants to come home to the family and will forgive her for all the bull shit she caused. All the parties involved will be going to court on this matter, sometime this week.

Yesterday afternoon or shall we say late afternoon, la familia Gonzales got a real surprise, it seems que they were having a barbeque and all went inside to watch that vato Indiana Jones movies an kind of forgot about the meat on the pit. When they remember about the food they went outside and realized que someone had taken all the meat. By the time the constable got there, the family had already looked all over the hood for the meat and the person or persons that rip them off. No charges have been file, but constable is looking for your help in finding this person, if you have any information on this matter please contact the constable.

Yesterday morning el senor Juan Moreno was arrested for being drunk in public and not only that got into the wrong red small truck at the store. It seems que el senor Moreno was leaving the store and got into a similar red truck that looked like his. But when he realized que the key didn’t fit, he was in the wrong red small truck. Once el constable got here, they asked him what was wrong with him, he answer, who wasted my truck. Charges are pending.

Well there you have it folks, and stay dry.

hejola report for 05142015

Hejola report for 05142015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again, Bill Diaz con our award winning barrio headline news:

 

Three arrested con evil weed.

Barrio big plans for 4 of July turn out small.

And finally school is out for monkies.

 

Yesterday the only school in the nation for pet monkies informed us que school was out for the summer. So if you had or have a monkey registered at that school you need to go by and pick it up or else. That was what the school administrator told us yesterday during a very exclusive interview. Yea.

 

Let me put the finger on you committee has layout this year’s barrio 4 of July theme. The theme that was selected is “ keep it American”. The whole committees were excited and are going to paint the whole hood red white and blue with tax payer’s monies. The group hopes to convince the city to dish out 20 thousand gallons of paint for the hood... wow.

 

Yesterday evening el constable did his job by arrested three vato’s standing at the corner of third and wells for selling evil weed. This weed or evil weed was just plain lawn grass with a little mint in it and dried out a bit. The constable took a hit from one of the cigarettes they were selling and didn’t get a buzz. He told them three boys que if you going to be selling chit, might as well sell the real thing. Charges will be filed. Oh by the way el constable will keep the 3 thousand cigarettes he took from them three as evidence.

Ok raza keep it Tejano

hejola report for 05122015

Hejola report for 05122015,

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Rain bring downs the corn.

Rain causes damages to damages streets.

And finally some darn good news.

Since we are talking about pot holes, a few barrio residents have filed a law suit again a barrio leader for calling some women of the night pot hoes. The barrio leader was not named on the law suit but was described as being Hispanic, short, and fat, and love them hoes. The constable cadena has told everyone that it is not him that the law suit is address to. He told us that he was Hispanic, fat, but much taller than the average Hispanic of 5’ 2”.

Since all this rain has really been a pain for barrio leaders and barrio city workers. One leader told us que they are having a hard time catching up with damage streets that pot holes are out of control. And this last rain fall didn’t help at all. Now the barrio city workers have to go back and start again in covering the first batch of pot holes they covered three days ago and work their way back to where they left off. Now we wonder if all 5 paved streets will get better?

Last night rain was a big disappointment for local barrio community garden when some drunken dude must have missed the curve and ran right into the barrio winning garden by knocking down all ten corn plants. After the leaders of the garden determined que it must have been the rain that cause that truck to miss the curve and drove into our garden. Charges are pending. Oh by the way thank god the sun flowers weren’t damaged.

Ok raza have a great day.

hejola report for 05112015

Hejola report for 05112015.

Ccwhnn.

Kingsville, TX. Hello again I am Bill Diaz, con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio member wins barrio medical award.

Barrio Caldo reactor poses no danger.

And finally youth programs end sooner than predicted.

The summer program planned for this summer was cancelled before it even started says one of the community leaders. We just had so many complaints about this program que we figured que it would be easier to just cancel the darn program than mess with it and the parents involved. The program would have allowed your child from the ages of 3 to 45 years old to learn a trade, such as but not limited to picking up trask, recycling, painting, building small and big things and much more fun. Sorry kids.

Yesterday afternoon at our Cruz roja community center an award was given to Chon Mundado Munoz, the most predigests medical Neurology award for studying drunken men and women brains in the hood. He also added que he urges barrio folks with suspected concussions to wait a few days after they deceased before calling him up to research their brains. I just can’t go in your head with my small hammer and start hammering away, you know it could hurt and not only that, I won’t have my medical degree until 10 years from now. Congratulations vato.

Yesterday el senior Tyler Mary Moore Gomez, barrio owner of the only Caldo reactor in the county, announced that the reactor sucrose fission facility posed little risk of failure and or danger to the folks living around the corner of third and wells. He told this reporter que lots of barrio members were concern about their safety but he promise que if such danger were to be present he would give us a call. By the way el caldo maker is the largest maker of homemade caldo in a can, The world has ever seen.

Ok raza there you have it for today.

hejola report for 05112015

Hejola report for 05112015.

Ccwhnn.

Kingsville, TX. Hello again I am Bill Diaz, con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio member wins barrio medical award.

Barrio Caldo reactor poses no danger.

And finally youth programs end sooner than predicted.

The summer program planned for this summer was cancelled before it even started says one of the community leaders. We just had so many complaints about this program que we figured que it would be easier to just cancel the darn program than mess with it and the parents involved. The program would have allowed your child from the ages of 3 to 45 years old to learn a trade, such as but not limited to picking up trask, recycling, painting, building small and big things and much more fun. Sorry kids.

Yesterday afternoon at our Cruz roja community center an award was given to Chon Mundado Munoz, the most predigests medical Neurology award for studying drunken men and women brains in the hood. He also added que he urges barrio folks with suspected concussions to wait a few days after they deceased before calling him up to research their brains. I just can’t go in your head with my small hammer and start hammering away, you know it could hurt and not only that, I won’t have my medical degree until 10 years from now. Congratulations vato.

Yesterday el senior Tyler Mary Moore Gomez, barrio owner of the only Caldo reactor in the county, announced that the reactor sucrose fission facility posed little risk of failure and or danger to the folks living around the corner of third and wells. He told this reporter que lots of barrio members were concern about their safety but he promise que if such danger were to be present he would give us a call. By the way el caldo maker is the largest maker of homemade caldo in a can, The world has ever seen.

Ok raza there you have it for today.

hejola report for 05072015

hejola report for 05072015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,texas. Hello once again, We have lots to cover this morning, so le’ts get to our barrio headline news:

Barrio education suffers serious wounds,

Pincha vato tries to rob barrio cellular phone shop.

And finally la commadre Susie arrested for hiring a hit man.

Yesterday we found out que el constable cadena y some real cops from across the tracks have come over to the Westside to arrest maria perez and charged her con hiring a hit man to help her try and kill six person, so she could steal a brick of cocaine. But in turn it turned out to be “barrios mama luz queso fresco cheese” .According to el constable, ms. Perez had peeped inside this folks window and saw this large block of crubly, white, barrio-cuisine cheese on their kitchen table and thought it was a big pile of cocaine. The report says que she had plotted to return that evening and kill anyone in the home old enough to testify against her. pesse hejola.

In other news, Jimmy Smithwick, a barrio educator, having return from the war with a paperweight he found there. Mr smithwick was hospitalized at the st. paul’s medical center here at the Westinghouse barrio mall with severe burns and shrapnel wounds, and lost part of his left hand, when he try to smash a cockroach with a his newly found paperweight on his desk. The some called paperweight was a 40 mm artillery shell, unknown to mr smithwick, was still alive. Mr smithwick was also charged with the endangerment of his students. Oh by the way mr smithwick was rushed to a real hospital after the folks at the st pauls medical center couldn’t do not for him here.

And finally, el constable again is asking barrio members for its help in finding el vato who tried to burglarize the only barrio cellular phone shop sometime last night. The store owner Max soso Chonz, told us que the dude que whoa trya roba oura storea trieda toa shoota opena thea doorsa locka , buta ita seema que thea bulleta ricocheteda anda hita thea mana ina thea chesta, knockinga hima downa. Mr. chonz also told us que he was sure que the bullet likely did not break the skin but said que probablya startlinga anda painfula, alsoa quea thisa mana vomiteda ata thea scenea beforea hea fleda.  So the constable is asking anyone in the hood for information leading to who did this crime. There is a small reward being offered.

Well raza there you have it for today.

hejola report for 05062015

Hejola report for 05062015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again raza I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Vato loco found in sewer hole.

New female police officer on makes first arrest.

And finally vato flies off his car while hold his mattress.

Yesterday afternoon el constable noticed que Benn Perez was riding on top of his car holding on to two mattress, when the constable tried to stop the moving vehicle, the driver took the turn to fast and Benn fell off the top of the car breaking both his legs, two arms, his back, a few ribs and a burse on his head, besides that he will be alright. No charges will be filed.

Maria shine made history yesterday when she finally had a chance to ticket and arrest the same person in less than ten minutes. It seems que she observed a driver swerving in and out of traffic along el barrio main street. When the man was stopped he allegedly compound the first problem by offering the officer five dollars to get rid of the ticket and then said how about I give you a kiss? He was charged with reckless driving and charged with a felony bribery charges. Oh by the way his moped was toll away.

You could hear someone yelling for help, but couldn’t really tell where it was coming from says Maria Garza as she explained to this reporter when she discovered a naked man had fallen down a 50 foot sewer hole. When the vato loco’s volunteer fire fighters arrived at the scene of the crime they helped esta loco named Danny Saenz who was naked and seem to be high on some kind of drug. After being care for the volunteer’s determined que he had been smoking PCP, and smoking marijuana and seemed que he had consumed hallucinogenic mushrooms. The volunteers confiscated the drugs found and was taken to St. Paul’s medical center in critical conditions. Charges are pending. Esta vato, oh by the way el constable wants to know what happen to the evidence.

Have a great day.

hejola report for 05052015

Hejola report for 05/052015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again my name is Bill Diaz con today’s award winning headline news:

Charges filed for flipping the finger at constable.

Bird lovers charged with feeding their cats.

And finally, theory vs. reality conference held this past weekend.

The real discuss was how real can reality be when you are so broke and have no means of paying your bills vs. the fact that you had no money in the first place, then why buy stuff. That was the main topic this weekend conference on theory vs. reality. Many showed up thinking it was going to be easy to tell folks their problems and see how one could find the means to correct it. But many realized that their problems weren’t chit compared to other folk’s problems. There will be a follow up conferences in two years.

The residents at the corner of third and wells felt there was something going on when they noticed that in the last few days fewer birds had been showing up to eat at their backyard bird feeders. Once the constable got there and sat around for a few hours watching some of the birds, both the owners and the constable noticed what the problem was. It seems that the residents had place the bird feeders too close to the ground and never thought that their 20 cats would be interested in eating them birds. Charges will be filed against the residents for harming poor little birds.

Alex Colin was charged and later released because he flipped the finger at constable cadena while eating breakfast at Juan’s taco stand. I was eating my taco when this pendejo drove by real slow and yelled at me and when I turned to see who it was, bang he just flipped me the finger says el constable cadena. I then dropped the taco and chased this vato down. Once he stopped the Mr. Colin, and arrested him , I notice that Colin Had his finger broken and was casted flipping his mid finger, so l released Mr. Colin.

Ok there you have it for today

spooky's westside warrior news for 05042015

Spooky’s west side warrior news for 05042015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Now from the dark side of town here is Lewis Mojo Lewis.

Hello, how are we doing today? Now that report from our side of the street, so let’s see what the headline news is for today:

Increase on injured firefighters,

KKK signs placed in front of white folks home.

And spy equipment stolen.

It was announced yesterday that los vatos loco barrio volunteer firefighters have had more injured in their fire station accidents last year than in putting out fires in the hood. El barrio fathers and mothers will discuss this matter at our next barrio meeting, On how to cut down on the number of accidents? One step is not to allow los vatos volunteers to drink during their stay overnight at the fire house center.

In other news this past weekend constable cadena y su staff are investigating the large number of cars vandals and damaged along con writing of “KKK” and various racial epithets on the houses of three Hispanic families. It seems que los vatos that did this damaged didn’t realize que the black hood didn’t start three blocks down the street and not from here. It could have been them folks from across the tracks. They just hate non white holidays says constable cadena.

And finally the U. S. of A. Drug Enforcement Administration Barrio office from across the tracks made a public announcement yesterday at all our local churches that a valuable piece of spying technology had been stolen from the back sit of a U.S. of A Customs agency van car while at a service station. The main dude or the head of the office is asked the public’s help for its return, and offered a small reward, but refused to identify the object except to say that it was palm-sized. Said the supervisor, “For security reasons, I can’t say what it looked like”. But if you see it let us know and we will tell you if that is what we are looking for.

 

Well that is it for today, folks so be cool and hang low. I am lewis mojo lewis.