westinghouse barrio mall newsletter 06272013

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter 06272013

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Once again I am Gloria Guerra con

Today’s mall newsletter. Well the owners and myself,

Having been thinking about re-opening our conjunto enchanted

Dance land this coming sept. of 2013, more on that con our own politico General Fideo vermicelli.

Bueno Gloria the idea is back, having had the first conjunto enchanted dance land was an experience before and re-opening the dance land and camping grounds could bring people back to the mall. As a matter of fact Gloria, re-opening the camping ground here at the mall is a great idea. Now not only can shopper spend all day at the mall, they can now camp out at the mall, fabulous idea.

Ok general we will stay in touch, now let’s go con our man in the street Frankie tuxedo zuniga con his report.

Well Gloria we had planed for the biggest fun run in el barrio for father’s day this past weekend. The fun run was for a 10 k run in the hood, and the route was to  cover major barrio areas and sites. It’s a great and safe route, but that was the cause of its cancelations, it wasn’t as safe as they pointed out so it was canceled.

Ok Frankie great job.  Well and finally lets go con our own maria la vandia con a few words about this past father’s day!

Look ladies it’s not every day  you love your man like you use too. Why not go and put that little outfit he gave you some time ago and slip right into and make his day. I know it fits a bit tight but who cares. I know que el compadre will really appreciate it. And girls don’t argue this weekend con el compadre, just make his day, if possible.

Ok thanks maria for those loving words, well folks there you go. have a great day.

hejola report for 06252013

Hejola after father’s day report for 06252013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello I am bill diaz con this special after fathers hejola report, so le’ts get to our award winning barrio headline news from this past father’s day 2013.

Barrio father goes fish and busted.

Dos primos died during a father’s day roofing party.

And finally 33 year old vato find out who his real dad is?

Why would anyone want to start chit today, especially on father’s day, says adolfo buentello age 33, when his real mother and his not real dad took him aside and told him that this man was not his real father. The bad news really came in at a bad time, it seems that this family had been drinking all day long and both parents decided to break the news gently. It didn’t go down too well con adolfo who got so upset que, he left the party and was arrested a few moments later by el constable cadena for dwi. As the family walked over to the scene of the crime, adolfo was sitting in the back sit of the constable car, when his mother told him, his real fathers name. el constable cadena had no comments. Oh by the way they did let him go.

Well what else could have gone work con el compadre bill william Garza Mendez y su second cousin Bob Jones Martinez Mendez when they all agreed que this father’s day was going to be the day we finally finish la commadre’s roof that had been pending since last fathe’rs day.

We are assuimg que they must not have cable tv nor the weather channel which gave out heat warnings. Well once el primo bill got up on the roof and worked for several hours, the heat got up to about 135 degrees, especially walking on a hot tin roof, before you knew it, he suffered a heat stroke while on the roof. Once el otra primo, bob climbed on the roof and ran to help el primo bill, he collapsed. Both men were pronounced died on the scene. Just for your information the roof project was not finished but inside sources say que the family said once insurance money comes in, they are going to hire a real roofing company.

And finally It seemed like a good idea to go fish says paulito blanco, once he opened his father day’s gift, which was a sparkly brand new fishing rob and reel. Well the sad part was that he forgot to buy a fishing license and forgot that he should not be drinking and driving. Well that was the case when he decided to go fishing at his child hood favor fishing spot. After several hours at his favor fishing spot, who by the way had not been there in seventeen years and all course didn’t see the game warden parked right outside that favor spot. He was fine and arrested and charges were fishing without a license and dwi.

Well raza  I just hope that you all had a great father’s day this late in the year.  But for your information , I mean real information, my dad died on his birthday which fell on father’s day .what a way to go. have a great Tejano belated father’s day for 2013.

hejola report for 06242013

Hejola report for 06242013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. COMO ESTAN todos I am Jonathon barrio con today’s hejola report. We have had a large number of accidents occurring here in the hood lately. So let start off con our award winning barrio headline news :

 

TWO BARRIO GUYS SERIOUSLY INJUIRED.

BARRIO EDUCATOR ARRESTED FOR BRIBERY.

And FINALLY TWO VATOS GET ARRESTED FOR BREAKING INTO A STOLEN CAR.

 

 

It seems que the parents of juanito diaz, a junior at our local barrio high school noticed que he was gaining so much weight and were wondering if the high school gym class was doing him any good. Well once the parents visited the school one afternoon, they notice que juanito was not in class. It seems que he was paying

His gym teacher, coach chris garica, for not attending class. Coach garica was arrested and charged with bribery for allowing students to avoid gym classes by paying him money. El constable cadena tells us que coach will go to court next week.

 

 

 

Yesterday afternoon el constable was asked to check on two VATOS  que  were taken home by a friend so they wouldn’t be driving drunk from a local cantina. Well as you might expected, they were seriously injuried when their friend was hit by a 75 year old drunken driver on their way home. All three men were rush to hospital across the tracks. Last word we heard is que all thiee were doing fine.

 

 

AND finally esto two vatos who el constable cadena  say stole a car in from eastside of town and drove it over here to our side of town, that’s Westside, were arrested here yesterday, when one of the security guys from el ojo junior barrio private eye security 666 unit caught them trying to break into that same car because they had locked the keys inside or thought they had. El constable said que he found the keys in one of los vatos pockets .

 

Ok there you have it for todays hejola report. I am Jonathon barrio and have a great tejano day. Don’t be glad , just be gay..

barrio stock markete report for 06212013

Barrio stock market report for 06212013.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, tx. Hello folks I am Urbano Yosabatodo, con today’s award winning barrio stock market.
How much do we have now? How much will we have tomorrow? How much do I really care? How much should I care about tomorrow? These are the questions we plan on answering this weekend at the barrio stock market seminar to be held at the Westinghouse barri...o mall. But for now lets get to that report:
Los Tamales, well the taco man wife pasted away and he also plans on moving on, but we did learn que the tamales ended the week at $5.50 a dozen.
Los taquitos, well you know many small restaurants need to compete against those bigger restaurants and I quess by selling tacos at a cheaper rate might just keep them in business, taquitos ended the week at $1.25, the coffee is extra.
Las empanadas, well this items seem to be getting fatter by the day, ended the week at $.69 cents each.
La Baracoa de cabeza, well it’s getting harder to get that beef or pork head nowadays, but we can say que llama meat is on the raises. It ended the week at $ 6.50 a lb.
Las tortillas, well it seems that some companies have solved the problem with them sticking to each other, but that’s not the case anymore, ended the week at $1.20 a small pack.
And off course we found cheaper beer than the cheapest we had seen. Cheap beer ended the week at 30 small beers at $12.50 for them. Huh.

Barrio want ads:
Item 2309, used women underwear and other stuff, one size might fit everyone, make offer.
Item 3902, used shoes from size 3 to 15, some good and some worn out, you make offer.
Item 9032, bicycles for men and bigger women, several bicycles flat on the bottom, make offer.
Item 0932, still looking for young woman to move in no younger than 45 years old, weekly salary.

Barrio reality state: the corner of wells and firth street for sale.
Have a great Tejano day, and what’s up with those Tejano gays anyhow?

hejola report for 06202013

Hejolia report for 06202013.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, texas. Hello I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Vato beat up with his plastic leg.
Man and woman arrested for dressing like a man and a woman.
And finally some good news.

This year the young all stars were informed that the district had decided to use umpires for the all stars that hadn’t call all year, the district dire...ctor told the group of coaches and parents, let just have fun and to never mind the baseball rules.
Two persons were arrested at the only Tejano gay bar “two tons of fun” last night when they went in the wrong bathroom, the owners of the bar have had this problem before and thought that they had corrected this matter, but it seems that they hadn’t. Well one thing was the man was dress like a woman and the woman he was with was dressed like a man. So some how they got it mixed up and well went into the wrong rest room and got arrested. Charges will be filled.

Yesterday el constable was asked to come to the corner of third and wells where a man with only one leg had gotten beat up. When the constable got there he found Jesse Ventura knocked out and lying in the middle of the street next to his plastic leg. The constable told us que this is the same man that had lost his leg before and found it when he fell in a ditch a few months ago. Once the man came around he told the constable que it was the same three men who stole his leg before that beat him up with this darn leg. If you know anything about this butt kicking let us know.
Have a great day.

hejola report for 06192013

Hejolia report for 06192013.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello raza how are we doing, I am David Duran con today’s award winning barrio headline news;
Three dogs and two cats busted.
Eight gay tejanos arrested at normal bar.
And finally some real good news.
More than a l00 families in the hood got a real good surprise today when a load of live chickens turned over and some of the victims ( chickens) ma...de a run for it. As we all know that this has happened before in the hood, well anyhow at least 100 calls were made to the constable reporting chingos de live chicken were either seen, captured, run over, killed or even turn loose in the hood. The only thing that the constable could tell them folks was don’t say anything and do what you think is right. What would you think is the right thing?
There are a few things that a gay Tejano’s must keep in mind. That is que not all the Tejano dance halls are the same. In some case some bars and dance halls, will let women dance together when they find that there isn’t enough men to go around, but in some dance hall men are not allowed to dance together when there are more than enough women to dance with. Well that was the case at a normal Tejano bar where gays are very limited on who and what the dance with. The group of eight gay tejano’s were asked to leave the place or else. Well the gays decided to go with the ELSE, THAT’S when they were all arrested for not leaving when asked to.

Yesterday the only animal control agent was called to investigate the robbing of a local bird cage with two birds in it. Once the regulator got there, he noticed that few friends and dogs and cats were checking it out what he was doing. The regulator noticed que the three dogs and two cats were acting kinda funny, so he went over and started asking questions. At the point, he determined que the two cats and the three dogs were involved in this matter. All the pets were arrested.
Ok raza have a great day and what would you think is the right thing ?

hejola report for 06182013

Hejola report for 06182013.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, TX. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Father’s day arrested down from last year.
Two fathers and two mothers get father day’s awards.
And finally some darn good news.
Los vato loco’s volunteer fire fighters have reached their annual fund raising goals in order to buy instant popcorn. This idea of using pop cor...n is nothing new for the hood, where as the loco’s have determine que if we were to place a instant pop corn bag in between the rooms in your home could be used as fire alarm system. There will be two things, if you smell the popcorn you know there might be a fire in your home somewhere, if you hear it popping I would run for the hills.

The barrio for better home wreckers gave out its 2012 award to two fathers and two mothers this year’s father’s day home wreckers awards. These awards are usually given to those parents or adults that seem to do the least for the most in their family lives. Congratulation to those home wrecker winners for 2012. Keep up the lousy job and parent guide dance.
The constable office informed us that this year there was at least 27 less complaints on father day compared to last few years. Oh yea, says el constable cadena, it seems that is doing better than before and seems to be handling lots of its own problems without Johnnie law involvement.
Ok raza have a great day.

barrio stock market report for 06142013

 

 

Barrio stock market report for 06142013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello once again I am urbano yosabatodo, con this week’s barrio stock market y realtors reports along con barrio want ads.

What is the news thing in the hood you ask? Well it’s not new but it’s been around for a long time and that’s playing poker at home. If you noticed our constable has had a large number of arrests due to the increase of illegal poker gambling. Do you play poker? How much do you spend on a daily or weekly base? Is it a hate? Who can really answer those questions, shoot you can, can you?

 

Now for the barrio stock market report:

 

Los tamales:

 

El tamale market has come to a big haul lately. Our tamale guy has not come around now for at least two months.  We had to go hire another tamale consultant to deal with this market. Our new contact that does not want us to use his or her name tells us que los tamales will remain stable for the rest of this quarter. Los tamale ended the week at the years lowest, $6.50 a dozen. Hey raza buy buy buy.

 

Los taquitos:

 

It seems que it will never end. The competition among taco stands took a big fall this month. Within the last few weeks there has been at least three more taco stand that has shut its doors. The evidences still lead us to believe que things are not going well in the hood.  Jobs are down but have shown some increase con todo that is going on at the Westinghouse barrio mall. Los taquitos ended the week at $1.25 each. A small increase from last month.

 

 

Las empanadas:

 

“More filling” was the theme of  las empanada convention that is planned to be held at the mall come next weekend. The empanada convention will key on making sure que they are still made the traditional way and have more filling. The local community gardens are also hosting this convention in the hopes que muchos de las empanadas maker will use local produce. In addition las empanada makers from all over south texas will be attending and hope que we can we do not revise the la empanada war of 2006. Las empanada ended the week at $.69 cent each a drop from las week.

 

Las tortillas:

 

A few issues ago we wrote and told you all que lots of raza are making their home made tortillas again. One can safely get a better tortillas if you make your own, and a higher return on them. Look you only make what you need and not get stuck con all those extra tortillas que you might just not eat when you purchase that pack of 18 or more tortillas. Las tortillas ended the week at $1.35 a pack of who knows how many.

 

La barbaco de cabeza:

 

This passt few weeks the producers of chicken, beef, and pork have seen their sales and profits hit hard by an overabundance of llama farms stem up in the hood.  The meat marketplace has had its fears that llama meat will be the new market making beef barbacoa in it makes it less demanding. La barbacoa de cabeza ended the week at $4.25 a lb.

 

Alcohol consummation report:

Here is a new twist in drinking or consumming alcohol in el barrio. Personal responsibility: It is up to each individual barrio member, not our local or state or even federal  government, to make responsible decisions about your drunk ass life. Personal responsibility raza iis the key to a more decent and just barrio and a just society. State, federal, and local  employees, too, must be accountable for their actions, just like barrio members that don’t have jobs. And that also includes bar and tavern owners. Cheap beer ended the week at $3.67  a six pack.

 

BARRIO REALTORS REPORT:

The Westinghouse barrio mall y the el barrio cona Lozano cash and carry sports complex have redefine the word real estate. This folks have taken good back yards and have built the mall, sports complex, the barrio conjunto enchanted land and now the opening of a new flea market right next to the mall. Oh yes raza if you own land anywhere around this area, man sell for top dollar.

 

 BARRIO WANT AIDS:

 

Tx45242; a family has cats and dogs for sale. Not sure what kind but make nice pets.

Tx48752: three bikes for sale. Lots of extra parts for sale. Or can buy the whole lot. Make offer.

Tx49857: wanted a young woman to live con elder family and do house work daily and has weekends off. Salary.

Tx85472: used college books for sale. Not sure what subject but are big books and must be important. Make offer.

Tx87452: will to trade anything in my home for a loving wife. Please send pictures of wife’s car and home and paycheck.

Ok raza there you have it for this week’s barrio stock market. Make sure an visit our website for more details on our sports and concert series for this summer.

hejola report for 06062013

Hejola report for 06062013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello I am David Duran con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio sees increase of taquchas.

Two commadres, ten dogs and eleven cats get busted.

And finally, two tons of fun group sued.

The only barrio gay Tejano bar and gay organization are being sued due to the fact que the bar has only one bathroom. As we mention a few                                      years back this bar had been warned que the needed at least 3 bathrooms, one for males, one for females, and the other who knows.                                                     Let me put the finger on you committee are the ones que filed this law suit. Mr Russell ruff redneck told us que we warned them about that bull chit.     

El constable and his barrio 666 task force were force to arrest las two commadres along con their ten dogs and eleven cats                                                                            when they were pulled over at a barrio check point. The main reason for their arrest says el constable is que this women had them                                                                    in the front seat of their two seated car. Charges will be filed against the dogs and cats.                                                                         

The barrio dog and cat and whatever animal control folks have informed us que the number of taquchas has increased from                                                                            the same time last year. El senor Juan Munoz told us que at this time last year we had only caught 150 taquchas compared to the                                                              375 taquchas  caught already. Mr. Munoz say que its going to be a long hot summer.    

Ok raza have a great Tejano day.

tejano manifesto 2013

 Tejano manifesto, the art of trying to resuscitate Tejano.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. My name is General Fideo Vermicelli; I have been assigned to present this Manifesto on Tejano by our creator, so here it is;

Tejano manifesto 2012, the art of trying to resuscitate Tejano.  

Have you noticed lately on how the Tejano moment has expand its wings in all areas of media connections? If not that’s cool, it really doesn’t matter. If one person had decided to take it on his own to represent Tejano in their own little world, would we mine? I know I wouldn’t, but then there are some Tejano that might take omission to that believe.

Let me explain, when a handful of folk decided to try an tackle the issue of Tejano and how to improve its situation for the future, doesn’t really matter what they said, or does it? How many times have we heard the same stuff over and over by the same stale veined persons and groups that have really done nothing about la onda but profit from it?

Now I am sure that many will disagree and very few will agree that we all need new blood but does it have to be from the same old veins? It’s funny how many try to predict and dictate to other how it should be, but in return they are the ones that don’t have clue to what it will take.  It makes no differences what group one belongs too or starts to organize, it a matter of principal and how you go about it.

This all reminds me of when our creator was student body president of the university he graduate from. Of course he wasn’t the norm age of pasted elected leaders but a grown man at the age 35.

Now the problem was how university admistrators were going deal with grown up man, when in the past they have been dealing with younger students with no political experiences. From old issue of what type of ice cream should be served to how mandate the usage of student fees and so forth in the present and future?

This manifesto only represents the ignorance many have of trying to come up con solutions when they don’t even the see how our future is already headed for? But yet it’s the same old veins that will keep the blood flowing about Tejano matters, to new users and it will be same old veins that will try to bring down Tejano if you don’t see their way.  I will quote a good Tejano partner of mine that asked me where Chicano cable hot wired news network went wrong. My answer was “I was trying to be a good guy”.

When we first create our news services, own goal was to confront those same issues, and those individuals that we thought could come up with answers to many questions pertaining to Tejano. Yet, we failed and moved away from being confrontationally, instead we just went along and tired not to step on anyone toes, or make waves that might cause us some friendships, we did failed.

In trying to salvage our own soul, and reputation as a Tejano leader we abandoned our original intention, but instead lead us to believe that good guys don’t win anymore.  I am Fidel Vermicelli, keep it Tejano.

hejola report for 05052013

Hejola report for 06052013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Now from the dark side of town, here is our soul brother himself Lewis Mojo Lewis,

Hello folks, now that we have a brother in the main office we have high hopes that things will get better, but for now let’s get to our barrio headline news:

New city learders  plan on moving time two hours instead of one, protest march is planned for the fall.

Food center in need of cans for xmas baskets  for 2013.

And founding fathers from across the tracks want to shut down part of our side of third street  in the hood.

The folks at the Westside community center will move all their fall and spring programs ahead two hours. Rumor has it que our new city leaders and barrio leaders, are planning on move the time clock  up two hours. Now where in the hell that came from we are not sure , but I am sure que it had to be some republican in the hood.  Dealing with the same story, all members in the hood plan on a protest march this summer for this coming fall, if such a move is made. Why would they do that.. save energy?

This year’s can drive seems to be going kinda slow said, DAREL White, a black man in charge of the center for cans. Oh yea it seems que folks just don’t want to donate stuff anymore to us. It seems que there are several reasons why folks don’t want to donate stuff to that center. Last year there was a report que all the good cans were taken by the center operating staff and left only corn, green beans and other cans que people really already might have. A community meeting will be held to look in to this matter in 2033.

And finally, the founding fathers from across the track have closed down part of third street which is at the edge of well s street. It seems que that part of that town is right in the heart of our tavern and bar section of the Westside hood. Don’t they realize que by doing that it will force all those bars and taverns to shut down. Look we know it’s a low income district but by them shutting down three blocks down it will dynasty our business says one bar own and not only that says another bar owner, it will ruin our annual drunk bash, held every June, schedule for sometime next week.  Leaders from the hood and members from the darken side of town will meet this weekend to discuss this matter, one final point, the city didn’t even ask us , they just came down and shut the streets down. I quess , that’s one good way to save city and county money in repairing streets. chit just shut it down. Why do they always pick on us says the founding fathers from this side of the tracks, we just don’t understand.

Oh well I am lewis mojo lewis from the dark side of town.

hejola report for 06042013

Hejola report for 06042013.

Cchwnn.

 

Once again here is alcardio samudio. Como estan todos mi raza today? We are doing great here in Kingsville, Texas the Mecca de conjunto music. Now for todays headline barrio news:

 

Maria la vandia being sued by cchwnn.

Rain forces homeless to move barrio community center.

And finally new barrio mall has an announcement on grand opening.

 

Yesterday afternoon we reported que a new barrio mall was going to open on sept 16. Well its official the owners of El Centro barrio trade center will officially open as announced. The new owners are Mrs. Maria Elena Salinas, Mrs. E. Jackson, and el senior Manuel Ruelas.  This new group is called los barrio investor associates. The Centro officials are asking our cyberspace friends if anyone is interested in opening a store or shop just to let us now for more details.

 

In other news, at our barrio community center opened its doors last night to at least 12 homeless folks that were forced to leave el barrio conjunto enchanted land camping site. Barrio officials tell us que they were forced to move due to the fact que the camping site was in violation of camping ground rules. Los vato locos volunteer firefighter, we are in charge of the center tell us que they will allow this homeless folks to stay there for a week. Pero they better not make mucho pero says one of los locos.

 

And finally our creator has gone and done it. He is going to take maria la vandia a former employee and barrio report to court. It seems que maria has gone to work for a new barrio weekly news services. Our creator tells us que maria is still under contract and has not ended her term here con cchwnn.  A court date is set for august sometime 2033.  Daniel our creator is really pissed and hope que he can write himself out of this one.

 

Well there you have it raza. Stay dry Houston and we will pray for all the sick people in the world. From our command post here at 623 west elle, I am alcardio samudio.

hejola report for 06032013

Hejola report for 06032013.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello como estan, I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Family Gomez took all the cookies, more for us?

Reunion of semi-pro baseball team.

And finally few tejanos pissed off.

Today was nothing different from other days, when we have single tejano’s and their supporters, not athletic supporter but individuals that drink from the cup pissed off when they were asked why  their  group was wanting to hold a secret gathering to determine the future of la onda tejana; which they felt they represented. Many in the hood told us que estos ways, hadn’t done nothing only benefit from their own ideology ideas and their needs only.  A special barrio meeting will be held to discuss this matter in 2033, make sure to attend this session, that’s if you are still alive.

 

This weekend will mark the 30^th anniversary that Los Amigos semi- pro baseball team last played.  This weekend these old goats will join together and will play against a team much older than they are. The team that has agreed to show up for this challenge has yet not mention, how many team members they will have to face Los Amigos. The team captain for  the challengers Benny Perez, age 82, say que he is really sure que his team will be there and has assure us que someone is going to get there butt whipped.   Good luck guys and make sure you bring your diaper and your will with you.    

  Yesterday la familia Gomez were arrested when they determine que they were only interested in their needs and not the rest of the hood. Its really sad, says el comparde Juan Perez, one of the families que didn’t get any cookies,  que esta familia, Gomez, took all the cookies from the cookie jar and didn’t leave any for the rest of us. This type of selfness is what cause us not have faith in bull shitter, wearing Tejano clothing.

Ok raza and to all los gringitos that have learn the game, have a great Tejano day way…