Hejola report for 10252017

Hejola report for 10252017.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again mi raza como estan, well there has been chingos de action this past few days so let’s get to our award winning barrio headline news:

barrio robber busted at st. paul’ medical center.

It seems que Chuy Ruelas, age unknown (32), visited the st. paul’s medical center late last night as he fled from El Barrio taco stand #7 that he had robber. It seems que chuy was running through la comadre backyards and didn’t see la commadre Maria Munoz cloth line which knocked him down and fell into a hole right next to her back yard, causing him to tumble down that deep hole and into a bigger hole. In doing this he lost control of his gun and some of the stash, during his fall. When he reported to the medical center he had a broken left leg, right arm and a real serious burn around his neck. The staff at the medical center were very suspicious when they asked him on how he was going to pay, and he pulled out the deposit bag from el barrio taco stand #7. Staff then called 918 and contacted el constable Cadena. Chuy was arrested at the medical center.

Barrio doctors tell us que increase of tapeworms.

Yesterday afternoon el doctor DR. CHON CHINGO CHON, medical leader for St. paul’s medical center gave Westside residents some real bad news at el barrio cruz rojo community center. He told the crowd of about 3 people que eating taco and other great Mexican dishes was a very serious matter for all off those that lived on our side of the tracks (Westside). He pointed out que some of those tapeworms grow inside many of us and can get up about 100 feet in length. He recommends que in order to prevent the little worms, he recommend eating more Chinese food, who by the way owns one right here at the Westinghouse barrio mall. At the same time he gave out discount cards to all the crowd. He plans on publishing his report in a view months con el Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter.

And finally family feud kills several family members.

According to constable cadena report, he tells us que two barrio families that have been feuding for ten years created a big ass ruckus late last night. It seems que la family Martinez killed la family Munoz’s cat, so when el senor found out he went over and shot la family Martinez prize winning pit bull. So when Mr.. Martinez found out he went over and shot Mr. munoz and his oldest daughter. By the time el constable got there, several shots were fired at his barrio security force 666 and wounding four of el constable staff. Furthermore before he could shoot el constable cadena, he manager to shoot el senor Martinez in the head several times, fatally wounding mr. Martinez. Charges are still pending due to the fact que no witness were alive to point out who fired the first shot.


Ok raza, just to make an odd point, keep your cats and dogs locked up.

hejola report for 10122017.

Hejola report for 10122017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, texas. Hello again I am David Duran with today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio use cars not giving test drives.

Barrio cat lady fined for having too many cats.

And finally some good news.

The barrio and city and county workers spend all weekend putting up all the old 1968 Christmas decorations up again. The barrio leaders were a bit disa...ppointed que the workers didn’t bring the 1958 decorations they had requested instead of the 1968 ones. But the leader of this year’s barrio Christmas spirit told us que she was still going to push for the older ones come next year. The difference is that the older ones were so much prettier. Just for the record, the decorations have been a good deal for the hood; every time they put up those lights it seems that there is less crime in the hood. Many say it’s because they love the holidays and are in good spirit all year round.

This morning the barrio animal control unit went over to la commadre Tina V. Gonzales and arrested her and then released her, when she went on a rampage on all of the animal control unit workers, who were trying to round up all 250 cats, she had in her back yard. After wrestling all 5 workers to the ground she was told to let them men go and they would drop the charges and leave her stinky ass alone. Before the animal control folks left they dropped a ticket in her mail box and made and made a run for it. Oh, by the way la commadre is 6’3” and weights 350 lbs. and is an ex professional barrio wrestler. One of the animal control workers told us que she caught all five workers off guard.

Yesterday it was announced that the five star car lots, which is 5 used car lots dealers found at the Westinghouse barrio area, will stop giving car test drives. Yes in the past we would allow a new customer to drive our new used cars for a test drive. Well it seems that all five used car lots have agreed that unless the customer is real serious about buy the car they will have to purchase $5 dollars of gas for that test drive.

 
Ok I am David Duran sitting here in my back yard property looking over the beautiful lake, gee have a great Tejano day.

hejola report for 10112017

Hejola report for 10112017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. now the man of the hour Bill Diaz. Como estan and now for our award winning barrio headline news:
grandmother wants her stuff back,

larger number of dogs missing in the hood,

and the hood prepare for the Halloween 2017!

The police were called in today at the home of enrique lopez Garcia, it seems que mrs garcia was on her last operation and didnt plan to make it... well it seems que the dr said que she was to too weak for the operation and didnt real need it.. with that in mind mrs GARCIA, is asking all her sons, daughters and grandkids to return all the stuff she gave away right before she went into the hospital. a court hearing is schedule for two weeks.

A large number of dogs have been reported missing to our barrio command post. we are not really sure who, or what is doing this, but if you have an leads into this matter please contact us at our command post.

PUBLIC NOTICEl last week’s winner of el barrio 8 ball lotto went to felipe garcia. the winner of the grand price of $2.00 dollars.

AND finally, el Westinghouse barrio mall is planning a big Halloween fest this coming oct. 31. Lots of prizes and food, so come on down and make sure to wear that freaky mask.

from our command post. I am Bill Diaz, good day

Hejola report for 10102017

Hejola report for 10102017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. Hello again General fideo vermicelli con today’s award winning barrio headline news;

El barrio hit with a new British Colonialism.

Trickle-down economics might not be the answer, says es vato loco.

And now so good news.

We finally found out why our water bill was so freaking high. It seems que the folks living in front of our home who we share the bill with didn’t notice que their water heater had rusted the bottom out and running water ran freely for about several months. The bill this month was almost $900 dollars. The good news is que they, the city has not shut it down yet, but are willing to work with us on that bill, but won’t until we show proof que we fixed the water heater, ching.. a

Yesterday at a local tavern some persons were discussing the issue of wages and labor force in the hood. At the end of the discussion this reporter felt que a new era for the working class. The idea of a New British Colonialism has been able to make its way into the hood by seeking to produce a low wage labor force here in the barrio, by defeating some barrio unions, and for sure not providing enough healthcare­, depleting worker rights at some taco stands, rolling back regulation­, minimizing or doing away with corporate tax obligation­...in other words defeating the middle class, which we find ourselves not even part off.

And finally, last night at a political rally, es vato loco who is running for barrio represenative tried to explain to a handful of locos que we should not fall into this thing called “Trickle-down economics". He pointed out que "the trickle-down theory" is a terms used now a days, to describe the idea that tax breaks or other economic benefits provided by government to businesses and the wealthy will benefit poorer members of society by improving the economy as a whole. He also mention que a famous person Will Rogers once said trickle-down economics meant "money was all appropriated for the top in hopes that it would trickle down to the needy, was the whole idea behind that statement. In addition, esta vato loco pointed out que the only thing we have to look up too is cheaper beer and hope to make it to the next pay check.

Ok Raza have a great day