barrio headline news for 01302020

Barrio headline news for 01302020.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again Raza, I am General Fideo Vermicelli con today’s award winning barrio headline news;

Nopalitos virus on the loose;

Yesterday evening el barrio health inspector told us que the outbreak of eating Nopalitos virus is on the loose in the hood and barrio members should wash them very carefully and boiled right. So of the side effects are farting, runs, and a whole lot of other things can happen to you if you don’t cook them right.

Large number of relatives fired from the city and county jobs:

El barrio elected council members decided they had enough of el barrio leader not following the law of the land. And in doing so the following relatives to el barrio leader Tomas Trumpas were fired:

Barrio dog catcher.

3 barrio street repair workers.

2 barrio police man and 1 constable assistant.

7 barrio health center employees.

6 barrio park staff.

2 barrio horses owned by Trumpas.

3 barrio police dogs owned by trumpas.

7 barrio cats owned by trumpas daughter.

His Daughter, his brother, 2 of his sons, and 10 relatives to el barrio leader all were giving walking papers this morning.

And finally barrio opens a chit load of new jobs;

Barrio man that keeps count of jobs and other stuff like that announced this morning que they had just created a ton of new jobs for the barrio, city and county and that Trumpas had promised to low the unemployment rate this year. Well we can easily say that he has done what he promised to do in creating new jobs. Here are a list of the new jobs created by our great Barrio leader Tomas Trumpas;

Dog catcher, street repair workers, several police jobs and constable assistances, health center jobs, park jobs, and a few new positions for farm animals and pets. Contact the barrio court house for more details

Work work work…come 

barrio headline news for 01292020

Barrio headline news for 012920.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello sport fans I am Frankie tuxedo Zuniga with today’s award winning barrio headline news;

Barrio leaders break barrio rules;

Late last night several barrio leaders not related to Barrio leader Tomas Trump were arrested and detained for several hours after the barrio 666 task force were tipped off that some barrio leaders were drinking beer inside the Westside court house, housed at the corner of third and wells. Several cans and bottles of beer and wine were found. No charges will be filed.

Increase of family violence:

This pasted weekend was one of the worse weekends we have had since last year’s super bowl parties, say el constable Cadena. The most increased has been between farm animals and domestic animals living around the area of downtown or better known as third and wells. He is hope que Raza members in the hood can keep their domestic and farm animals under better control or he will be forced to arrest a whole lot more in the coming days, now that the super bowl is coming.  

And now this weekend super bowl;

You know there are a lot or should I say a shit load of football fans in the hood from the Houston Texans to the Dallas Cowboys fans. Well this weekend at the only Tejano gay bar in the world the will hold their version where the  Houston Texans vs. the Dallas cowboys super bowl game live. Now before you go crazy, we both know, you and me and me and you know dare well them two teams aren’t at the super bowl this year. But if you are a big football fan like they are at this gay bar, just go along and you can chose which team represents either Houston or Dallas. And if anyone questions you about this, just tell them que they are wearing their new team uniforms.

Have a great day Raza.

barrio headline news for 01282019

Barrio headline news for 01282020.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news;

Gambling at senior home raided and busted;

Its one thing to raid a place but it’s a different thing to bust the place. You ask what the differences is. Well this was the case late last night, when this very issue came up when the barrio 666 security forces visited the Barrio Adult day care at the corner of third and Wells Street. In the first place the raided actually was a false raid due to the fact that they were playing bingo and the winnings were homemade hand crafts. But during the raid several seniors were busted for smoking weed, crack and other stuff not prescript by their doctors. Charges will be filed against them loco adults and the center staff.

Barrio leader daughter and family members honored;

Tomas Trumps and his daughter la princess del barrio  and his three sons referred as the three stooges, beto, homer, and chuy were all honored as the most ridiculous  persons ever lived in the hood by the Stupid People Club in the Hood. The president of the club told us que there were honored que this pendejos showed up for the award. Oh by the way the award is a clown outfit, with the printed statement “ I’m stupider that chit”. Los Trumpas left the center without saying goodbye!

And finally barrio budget lower than lowest ever;

Barrio tax collector told us que since its moron Tomas Trumpas and his clan were elected the barrio budge has almost disappeared from previous years. The collector told us que they were trying to see how in the world they were going to keep the barrio budget in black and out of the red it finds its self now. Several suggestions were mention, like for example charging a tax for folks and farm animals and pets to vote and walk the streets after midnight and other activities.

Ok raza believe me stay indoors and don’t go outside, you might get charged, Good Day.

barrio headline news for 01272020.

Barrio headline news for 01272020.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news;

Trumps mad at barrio public newspaper;

El barrio leader told us here at Chicano Cable Hot Wired News Network today que we have better stop writing about him and his family or he is going to shut us down from using public funds. The only problem was we don’t get any funds from anywhere, or anyone. We felt que he was just firing a lot of how air.

Barrio arrest a lot of farm animals at this weekend farm animal rally;

An effort to increase more barrio farm animals to vote this year turned out to be a mess when barrio task force arrested several farm trucks of farm animals during this rally. There were several reason for the arrests from cleaning horse and other animal debris to animals making too much noise and not having the right permit to hold this rally. We didn’t count the number of farm animals arrested but what we do know it was a lot of them. Owners of these animals will be required to pay a fine and stall fees for holding them for a while until they were claimed.

And finally barrio hate liars;

Yesterday at a local church several barrio religious leaders gathered together to denounce our barrio leader and decided to claim that he was the biggest liar in town, county, and state. Furthermore, a letter was written to him wishing to express our extreme displeasure with is choices of words, wisdom and knowledge regarding anything and came up with the conclusion that these facts proves that he was the leading asshole in the city, county and state.

Ok Raza lol, have a great barrio day.

barrio headline news for 01212020

Barrio headline news for01222020.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Lewis Mojo Lewis with our award winning barrio headline news;

Don’t believe everything you read:

La commadre Nancy Lopez, a new member of the only barrio workout gym, went to the gym last week and finished her session with laps in the small of smaller pool around midnight. When he emerged, he realized everyone was gone and the doors were locked. He asked himself doesn’t the name suggest that they stay open 24 hours, but didn’t read the fine print “we made the decision recently to close certain part of the gym overnight hours”. He called his wife to let her know he was trapped inside the gym and didn’t want to trip the alarm system. He was able to find a comfortable place to sleep. The gym will work on a bit harder in their closing procedures.

You aren’t Santa!

La family Galvan doesn’t celebrate Christmas like most of us, for some dare reason they celebrate Christmas the second weekend of Jan. in order to buy those reduce Christmas gifts.  That evening the father Ron, was a woken by finding an intruder in his room, sucking on his toes! In the ensuing fight, Ron told the intruder had a gun and managed to force the intruder out of his home, where the thwarted toe-sucker smashed a window in the home and destroyed the windshield of Ron’s car before leaving.  The intruder was arrested shortly when a woman called the cop to let them know there was a man wanting to such her toes!

And finally Hey don’t blame me!

Little Rosanna Banana lost her cool last week at the barrio motor vehicle center, was asked to leave around 3 in the afternoon, after becoming angry over the length of the lines, the authorities said she returned later that afternoon and unleashed her wrath, smashing computers, assaulting workers and kicking the 89 year old security Guard when he attempted to arrest her.

Eventually was responsible for about $23,000 in damages, according to authorities, and after she was arrested, she was the copes found to have a PCP-laced marijuana cigarette in her possession; she was charged with criminal mischief, drug possession, aggravated assault and hindering apprehension.

Dang girl you are going to lalaland for a while, good day.

barrio headline news 01172020

Barrio neww report for 01252011. 01172020
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Bears and packers fans strap it on con Dallas cowboy fans at football cook out.

Shooting at the corner of third and wells leave several die.

And finally law suit file against el constable cadena.

Yesterday afternoon, la families Gamez filed a law suit against our own constable for chopping the 35th oldest tree in the hood, that was located on wells street. The law suit states that the constable trespassed into the Gamez back yard without permission and chopped their tree down in order to get to them boys shooting chickens. The law suit did not include the two boys because they had permission from the yard owners allowing them to climb that tree. If the constable is to be found guilty he could pay up several hundred dollars in fines and some time doing some community work.

It seems que someone always has to spoil things for others. That was the case Saturday night when a large number of chickens were shot dead and a few got away. The shooting was set off by several young Hispanic trying to see if they could hit a chicken coop that was located about three houses doing Wells street. This young men climbed a tree and just starting shooting. The constable was able to get those boys down from the tree by chopping it down. Charges are pending.

And finally, Yesterday afternoon for some odd reason a few dozen Dallas cowboys fans attacked a football cookout con chingos de Bears and packers fans. After the constable and his barrio task force 666 broke it up a half dozen of cowboys were arrested and some were taken to ST. Paul’s medical center for observation. The bottom line was que the Bears and Pack outnumber them cowboys. How about them boyz.
There we have raza, stay home and stay warm.

Posted by daniel at 2:49 PM No comments:  

barrio stock market for 01162020

Barrio stock market report for 01162020.

 Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. Como estan I am urbano yosabatodo con esta stimulus barrio stock market report. Doesn’t it seems que the new trend is just plain stimulating? Yea, that’s the ticket. Everywhere we go its stimulus this and stimulus that. Our society has taken the word stimulus and applied to almost everything possible. Shoot, even those sex enhancement pins have a little stimulus to them. But for now, let’s just try to stimulate the economic and leave our sex life out of it.

 Now for that award winning report:


In the world of buying and selling barrio stock is nothing new too many of us, switching to a new market doesn't mean that they are doing the research that we do. So we don’t expect you to change or change any of your barrio stock market habits. Just hang with us. Ok.

Los tamales, if there is any way to beat el tamale market for this coming xmas season we insist that you buy now. Most tamale brokers are selling their stock at a real low rate this month but preparing to launch an interest on price before you know it. If you can, scoop up as much as you measurably can, all this will guarantee a whole lot of tamales for this xmas season. Oh by the way the tamale guy never came back. Los tamales ended the week at $9.50 a dozen; up a bit from last week.

 Las tortillas: With the increase of wheat and gain this market has suffered a bit this month. We can blame it on ChinA BUT WE CAN blame it on our barrio the orange looking man. Since the start of this quarter las tortillas have gotten much better. In terms of not too many found stuck together like several year ago. Who says nobody reads our barrio stock market. The tortilla war of 2005 really made a differences with this market. Las tortillas ended the week at $1.99 a pack.

Los taquitos up ten cents from last week, ended the week at $1.75 each and coffee is extra.

La barbacoa de caberas remained stable, ended the week at $10.50 a lb.

 Barrio want ads:

Used items 0321545:  used women and men underwear lots of sizes from 12 to 18 in the women’s section and sizes from 36 to 48 waist  for the men section. All sales are final.

 Item 030548: used car tires for sell. All sizes only flat on the bottom.

Items 035698: Easter chickens, turkeys and rabbits for sale, different colors and size. Some chickens are chicks from last year that weren’t  sold . Now full grown but still some color in them.

Items 038574:  jose lopez t shirts “ put me in jail if I fail” call or write about price and design. please note que this not the joe lopez you think it is, its another vato con that same name, and in jail also. Pesse hejola..

 Now for the barrio realtor report:

El primo Camilo tells us que the city is getting ready to knock down a bunch of crack houses, the owners tell us que they would like to know if anyone is interested in pick up the remains of this houses for free. Let us know no charge but there is a transportation tax in our hood. The rate is $100 per ton.

Ok raza have a great weekend and make sure to go  shopping at our malls. 

barrio headline news for 01072020

Barrio headline news for 01072020.written in 2010,

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Now from our command post here is David snow bird Duran. Hello sport fans and now for the barrio headline award winning news;

Car accident in the hood,

Club leader arrested

And vato released from hospital after accident.

Yesterday afternoon it was reported que Tomas Sanchez was driving three families

Members passed out briefly behind the wheel of their car and Collided with another car, careened out of

control, and struck a Utility pole. None was seriously hurt but several of the children lost several teeth

when they hit their head on the dashboard. According to constable cadena report, the Father had become

woozy from listening to his 22-year-old son and his 18-year-old daughter ,Describe for the family the

bloody extraction of his and her wisdom teeth Earlier in the day.

Yesterday Troy Harry Tellez, 29, was released from st. Pauls medical center Three weeks after he turned

around abruptly when talking to friends and Walked into the radio antenna of his car. The antenna went

up his nose Almost four inches, pierced his sinus, and entered his brain, coming to Rest in his pituitary

gland. Mr. tellez said que he felt better now that his sinus problems and his head aches gone away.

And finally former Boy Scout leader Dan the man with the plan 41,was charged with assault in connection

with a private club he ran. His club induction ceremony seemed to be the severe paddling of new boys'

buttocks. About 10 boys and young men were members, and police seized photographs and wooden

paddles from his barrio club tree house . The police also seized all club records and copies of its by-laws.

Well there you have it for today’s barrio headline news. Good day. And be cool.