SANCHO CLAUSE BARRIO XMAS STORY (2013) 2016.

Sancho clause a barrio xmas story 2016 (2013).

Ccwhnn.

Kingsville,tx. It was the night before xmas, y sancho clause was drunk like usually. As he tried to round up los little deer, well, in other words tried to start  his john deer riding mow. It was his annual thing, where all the children, well all the adult women he dates in the hood waited for this cold night, well it really was a humid one, but as he managed to climb on his riding mow he moved as fast as he could go, well let’s say he moved as fast as the mower could go.

As he rode down that county road as fast as he could go, el constable cadena was on the lookout for him. There were several reasons why, it seems que at this time ever year, esta pincha sancho clause had the bad habit of drinking and driving.

And then making sure que he went an visited todas las movides que he has or let’s had him and some he done before. Many times before many of los husbands de estas women or las movides would complaint que he was making too much noise and que the songs he was singing weren’t even xmas songs,.

Well this xmas was going to be a little different, you see el sancho clause this year set up a booth at the corner of third and wells and was charging to taking sancho clause pictures with him. Business was real good until xmas eve. It seems que sancho forgot to put on his sancho clause outfit pants on, and instead was not wearing anything but his chonas better known in the hood as his speedos . Several good families and their children stopped to take a holiday picture con esta clause. Pero realized que esta vato was drunk and wearing only his underwear or his famous speedos. Several families did call el constable cadena, to come and check esta way out. Sancho clause was arrested and will not be home for xmas again this year.

The moral of this story is que when you are having a good time con either your wife or girlfriend or even la commadre and in some cases el compadre, stay home, and if you drink don’t drive and if you drive don’t drink. Have a safe Christmas. This announcement was paid for by the committee on let me put the finger on you committee.

hejola report for 12162016

Hejola report for 12162016.

 Cchwnn.

 

Kingville, Texas.  Como estan, I am Bill Diaz con todays award winning barrio headline news.

 Now for our award winning headline news:

Barrio justice of the peace removed from barrio park bench,

Barrio resident takes matters into his own hands for his pain,

And finally, a barrio member busted for marijuana says it was a hate crime.

Yesterday afternoon an appeals court from across the tracks temporary admonished our side of the track justice of the peace Honorary Judge Christina Ocha Morgan, age 36, for her behavior last month, when she left a jury deliberating a case for seven hours, where charges were pending on Ernesto Morales murder charges. But instead, she left the court in order to attend a bingo game at our local k.c.. hall. The complaint filed also states que she refused to leave the bingo house when notified that the jury had reached a verdict. Her actions cost the county at least a few hundred dollars when the jury was forced to return the next day.

 In other news, it was reported to us by el constable cadena que Jovel Munoz age 45, was treated at our St. Pauls Medical center last week after shooting himself in his right knee. When asked why he did it, he replied que he had to do something to end the pain on that same knee he had injured five years ago.

And finally, Brother Pete Cruz a special courier transporter was arrested and thrown in jail for the result of being caught con 250 pounds of marijuana in a regular traffic stop done by our own constable cadena. According to el constable report, cruz told el constable que he was a courier for religious monastery and was transporting religious instruments, in which uses marijuana as a sacrament. Mr. cruz is pending a court date.

 

 Well raza, have a great Tejano day.

westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 12152016

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 12152016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. Hello I am Gloria Guerra, now with our mall newsletter headlines:

Idea of another Tejano gay bar to open at the mall, mall official’s rebuff.

Barrio clown fest might just happen.

And barrio Sancho clause contest coming to a big end.

Yesterday Veronica La Lesbian report to us that the mall officials had met with Pinky Pan Gomez a he/she person owner of several bars in the area explain his/her idea of planning a far out Tejano disco bar right here at the mall. The mall officials could not confirm that the meeting was even held but indication inside a certain area of the mall was under construction. Well Gloria?

Ahh ok thanks Ronnie, now for our other headline news:

The three barrio clown organization announced that this year’s Christmas clown fest will be held right here at the mall but outside on the parking lot, in order to avoid any more trouble with these groups each group will be placed on different parts of the parking lot to avoid any violence like the times before. Every year for some reason these groups have had several rounds of uncalled for actions. The fest is schedule for Christmas Eve.

And finally, the mall sancho clause contest is coming to an end this weekend. Where the best looking sancho clause will be granted a two week contract to sit in the center stage welcoming children wanting to love sancho and tell him what they want for Christmas. Wow only in America.

Ok raza have a great holiday and keep your doors lock, trumpas is coming for you!

hejola report for 12132016

 

 

 

Hejola report for 12132016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again, I am Maria Malone Baloney, hello raza. Now for our award winning barrio headline news:

Mariachi band members shot and some will survive.

La posada parade riot over weekend.

And finally some good news.

 

The barrio welcome wagon has announced that it will keep on accepting pets that people don’t want any more at the corner of third and wells. The welcome wagon folks tell us que the home owned by Tina V which is by the way surrounded by at least 150 persons, 24 hours a day have agreed to care for this poor unwanted pets. The total amounts of cats are not counted but we figured que about 250.

Late Saturday evening a mariachi band named Sun Shine Mariachi’s were hired to do a late night serenade to a family living in a big barrio trailer parker. You and I know that there are some dark spots in the hood if you live in a trailer park and that is the case here. El Mariachi Sun Shine band members were walking around a trailer house that had one of the darkness spots in the park looking for the address that hired them, but many across the street believe to be men walking around with assault weapons decided to take the first shots at this so call terrorist, killing two of the six band members and wounding at least three more. Once the lights of several mobile homes came on, many noticed that they had fired on this mariachi band. Several park members called 918 and a chit load of police surrounded the trailer park. More details late this week. Oh by the way two weren’t killed as reported but 5 instead.

 

 

This past weekend was the annual La Posada parade held along the most beautiful street on our side of town turned out to be the bloodiest in history. It seems that one of the float drivers (two tons of fun float the only Tejano gay bar) fell asleep and got off the parade route and ran over at least 30 men, women, children, cats, and dogs standing along the side walk. Once the float came to a halt, family members still standing rush the float and pulled now the awaken float driver out of the float and started to beat him up. One of the parents went as far as lighting the float on fire that caused the float sponsors and their staff to run over and help the driver as he was been beaten up, and tried to turn the fire off. Once the barrio volunteer vato locos  fire fighters arrived the fire had already spread to some corner store that started a fired next to the bakery that explored and started a fire across the street. Once the smoke and the fires were turned off, at least 10 stores were either damaged or burned down, not counting the float. Charges are pending on chingos de persons and chingos de charges will be filed.

Ok raza have a great weekend and don’t go downtown in the hood, too much investigations going on. Dang don’t you just love all the excitement going on and by the way we are accepting xmas gifts (cash) only.

hejola report for 12122016

Hejola report for 12122016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas, hello again I am Lewis Mojo Lewis with our award winning barrio headline news:

Out of the car and hands in the air.

There is no business but show business.

And now darn good news.

Less that 13 days for Christmas and the barrio Westinghouse mall has announced que everything and anything is on sale. Regardless, if it’s still in the wrapper or just sitting there, or regardless if its news or old or even stolen come on by and spend some money here. Barrio paper food stamps are accepted. The only deals they lose are the ones they don’t know about!

The barrio community center has announced que they will do their own version of the Nut Cracker play come this December 24. It’s an old Christmas barrio story not told very far from our barrio. And it really is a heartwarming story about this man a “cracker” busted for stealing presents and giving them to those in need. BARRIO NUT CRACKER COMING SOON.

Yesterday the first barrio protest was held at the corner of Third and Wells Street. The protest really had nothing to do with the national trend going on but it did demonstrate that no barrio anywhere can be safe, neither from its own resident or our own constable Cadena. “Out of the car and hands in the air” was the slogan for yesterday’s protester where three 80 year old men were arrested and taken down for jay walking. The constable tells us que his new deputy Juan Barn Fife Hinojosa fresh from barrio police school should have known better. But instead malicious treated them and used shameful acts and statements against these men and really no call for it. Charges are pending on the three older men.

Ok Raza you better not cry, you better no smile because Sancho clause is coming sooner than later.

hejola report for 12092016

Hejola report for 12092016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,Texas. Hello again raza I am David Duran con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Constable cadena disbands k-9 unit.

Barrio new group hope to cut down on agitating birds.

And now so darn good news.

We were just in form que three Sancho clause will duke it out this evening at the corner of third and wells. No cover change. The winner will be claimed el memo mero mero Sancho for this 2016. Please not that this bout is not sanction it’s just Sancho’s strapping it on.

Juanito “Mr. know it all” told a group of bird lovers que his new group “ to save a mockingbird team” believe que if they were able to work together that they might lower the number of wild birds from eating fermenting berries. He said que these berries are making barrio bird’s crash into trees, and many making goofy-looking landings and some even have moved in to some homes. He believes que a this group can save brings from getting too drunk to fly. He thinks que a few million pounds of bird feed might just do the trick.

El constable cadena had a major decision to make last week at the barrio budget committee came under review. After the long debate on what and what not cut, the constable agreed in theory que they would reduce or cut entirely the k-9 unit. You see he said at a barrio press conference que the barrio K -9 unit was useful at one time but now que he has had chingos de dogs captured thru  out the years seem to be able to scent the smell of drugs, who by the way live right next to all the drugs he has intercepted. Hell yea, he said estos perros do a great job finding that stuff. A final decision will be made in the year 2033.

hejola report for 12082016.

Hejola report for 12082016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx.hello I am david duran con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio pollution increase con cold weather.

Two men and ten cats busted at the corner of third and wells.

El compadre runs wife off for being too fat.

And finally some dang good news and some dam bad news.

First let’s start off with the bad news; the barrio park and recreation department has told us que if they catch anymore folks chopping down park trees for wood to keep their fireplace going are going to get arrested or the park will shut down for several years until the trees come back, and now the good news:

Well the vato loco’s volunteer firefighters have agreed with the city and the county que they won’t be drinking, smoking, cussing, stealing, robbing, lying, back stabling, punching, hitting, kicking, biting, and talking chit to anybody during these holidays, and also promise to keep their eyes open and ears clean just in case there is a fire and they have to call someone. Good luck loco’s.

It seems that this time of the year folks want to get rid of their unwanted pets and that seems to be in the increase these past few weeks. A few barrio members and members of the barrio welcome wagon have notice that now that this people are watching and caring for all those poor cats that Tina v. left behind. But yesterday was no different than other days due to the fact that county animal control is also camping out at that same corner trying to bust this illegal thing. And that’s what happen yesterday when two men from who know where tried to dump ten cats and drove off but were busted down the street.  The animal control caught at least ten of the hundreds of cats they brought with them. Charges will be filed against these persons.

You know men are awful when it comes to real love excitement, well trim women and loving the ones they should love but for some darn reason they decide to leave the love one for someone else. Look vato if you wife, girlfriend or someone you care for gains what 100 pounds and all of a sudden you noticed that and you just can’t handle it and the only solution is to leave than, than go ahead. But I’m telling you think about now that the cold weather is here and that window has a draft?

Yesterday our own barrio weather man San Juan Norterno told this report que the pollution level here in the hood has gone sky high since the cold weather came in con the among of pollution is up at least 35 percent at this time compared to last month. One of the main reasons says San Juan is due to the large number of people using fire places to keep warm and burning wood outside to stay warm. Barrio Environmentalist, Juan  DAN DelgadO, tell us que Burning firewood can either be damaging to the environment or it can be helpful. It all comes down to your choices as a consumer and the way you burn your wood and the source you choose to get it from. Ok raza there you have it you decided!

Ok raza and now for those compadres y commadres que ran off their overweight love ones, I told you so, que one day you would miss them. Chinga.

hejola report for 12072016

 

 

Hejolia report for 12072016.

Cchwnn.

 

Kingsville, tx. Hello again I am bill diaz con today’s award winning headline news. Gee counting down towards xmas. Gee all I want is a go go girl. But for now let’s get to our award winning headline news:

Oldest member in the hood gets visit from former first grade teacher.

Constable cadena bust barrio only prostitution ring, dang it.

And reward for stolen “my kid”.

Our creator Daniel, had a cat named my kid, well this weekend my kid was stolen from my home and we are offering a large sum of hugs and lots of you know what for his return. Every single crack head in the hood has signed up looking for my kid. We just can’t wait to see who took my kid says Daniel the creator. He is very heart broken says a person who didn’t want to give us their name (Bill) “it was a friendly cat that made Daniel’s day, almost every day”. If anyone has seen my kid please contact us here.

In other news, Yesterday afternoon el constable cadena y su barrio task force 666 shut down a prostitution ring which had been in business about two years. Several male and female customers were arrested at the home of la commadre Gloria Sevilla, owner of the home. She told this reporter que she didn’t know que the girls she had rented rooms too, had a small business going on. “gee if I would have known it would have been a different story” says ms. Sevilla. Ms. Sevilla believe the girls when asked about all the visitors they had, they told her que they were students doing either homework or research. And a second home was also busted at or near the corner of third and wells. The owner of the home was not there but el constable and some of his cops waited awhile till the owners showed up. Oh by the way no one was taken in, huh….constable cadena tell us que both of these organizers were facing charges with promoting prostitution, A fourth degree felony.

And finally ,It seems que Don Pedro Ramirez just turned 85 years old was real surprise to see his first grade teacher at the party. Maria Gonzales now 103 years old was very excited to see que Don Pedro grew up a very handsome young man and did something with his life. It’s been more than 70th years since I had last seen him, and he sure has changed a bit. But I am so glad que he made it out of first grade, says Mrs. Gonzales.

Well there you have it for today, counting towards xmas, con sancho clause is coming to town..

hejola report for 12062016

Hejola report for 12062017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am David Duran with today’s award winning barrio headline news:

trickle-down economics part of everyday in the hood.

Barrio man arrested for fighting con sancho clause at the mall parking lot.

And finally some darn good news.

Yesterday barrio member were informed that the barrio lotto will be running for this christmas holiday. The lotto had been suspended for awhile due to the fact that there were no funds to lotto off. So this week you will be able to purchase your lotto ticket just in time for Christmas. This year’s lotto winnings might just reach $10.50, good luck raza.

What is the big deal with this trickle-down economics now a days? Did you know that this has always been a part of living in the hood and we can give you several examples. Why is it that in large families all the younger members of that family wear hand me down clothing, trickle-down economics. Why is it that we never throw stuff away, because we might need to have it later, trickle-down economics. Garage sales, front yard sales, back yard sales, moving sales, yard sales, and whatever you want to call them, are considered trickle-down economics. All and all we know what trickle- down economics really means.            

Yesterday el compadre Martin Chapa Gomez was arrested along con Pedro Morales aka sancho clause after both men got into an intense boxing match at the mall parking lot. Lots of punches were thrown and most of them not landing. But the excitement was enough for someone to call el constable that came over and arrested both strugglers. Charges are pending, after the constable will determine what caused all this action Jackson.

Ok raza have a great Tejano day,

westside warrior news network 12052016

 

Westside warrior news network 12052016.

 Cchwnn.

 Kingsville, tx. Hello again mi raza como estan , and I am Lewis mojo Lewis and let’s get it on.

 Now for that award winning headline news:

 One vato arrested for acting like sancho clause.

 Addiction hits hard in the hood.

 And finally public bathroom are need.

 It seems que when you have to go, you just have to go. Well that’s the case con Ben Alvarado who was busted taking a wiz, from inside of his car. It seems que Ben has two broken legs and can’t really get around but it didn’t stop him from relieving oneself in public. It seems que the stop light at the corner of wells and third was not working yesterday and it was on red for hours and hours, in which Ben hadn’t realized this.

You know that ever hood in any given town has its addictions, regardless who they are. Many can say, to a primo or something like that, that your relationship with drugs, with cigarettes, with food , or with alcohol sometime is more important to you than a relationship with people or god, and that is what Pedro Valdez is. It seems that his whole life evolved in the drug culture and finally took his life. Yesterday morning he was found death at the corner of third and wells sitting there. It seems based on the police report que Pedro had been sitting on that corner for more than three days and no one took notice, until yesterday morning when a drive bye noticed his shoes were missing. An investigation is being done. If you have any information concerning this crime please don’t call us or his missing shoes size 8 d let us know.

It seems that those winter Texans bring in the most of folks. Well it seems que panchito Gomez did it again. For the last few years esta winter Texans well he thinks he’s one was arrested by el constable cadena at the corner of wells and third. It seems que esta vato loves to take pictures of him and folks sitting on his lap dress like Sancho clause. El sancho clause was asked not to wear the uniform again till 2033.

 Well folks that’s it, and have a great tejano day.

hejola report for12012016

Hejola relection report day 12012016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again mi raza I am Bill Diaz con today’s awarding winning barrio headline news:

Barrio election party gets busted.

Free food and drinks at the constable re-election party.

And now for some darn good news.

Again we are reminding barrio parents that our barrio social network will not be allowing barrio families to post any pictures of their children under the age of 42. We just want to make sure that we keep our barrio safe.

El constable cadena was so happy that a ton of folks showed up to his re- election party and provide a safe hood for all this pasted few years and had food and drinks. Many there were so impress with his treats that all agreed they were going to vote for him.

Yesterday, both political parties agreed to put “bring out vote party” together for the barrio and hope to get to meet your candidate. Well we all know that it would be impossible when both parties don’t like each other. You see the few candidates that did show up were already all heated up by some of the false statements they each had be making about each other. At one point during the party el constable had already arrested more than ten people and twelve cats and dogs. The constable had to use some tear gas to break up this gathering and cut the event real short. At the very end some folks complaint that the constable had no rights in taking most of the food and drinks and use them as evidence.

Ok regardless how dumb or smart one is let’s not vote for the same persons that having done a darn thing different since they won the last time