Hejola report for 06312011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Barrio dog trainer busted for stealing dogs.
Increase of stray animals in the increases.
And finally real love turns out to be your pet.
Before his arrest this past few days,“here Boy” Munoz, the only barrio dog trainer, show casted his new book on training barrio dogs. The name of the book is “Helping Dogs help themselves”, was to be released in a few days. But for now the book signing date is pending on his release from jail.
El constable cadena will be the main speaker at tonight community program where he will address the large number of dogs, cats and some farm animals that have strayed into the hood lately. Cadena tells us que tonight meeting will be very important, because he plans on submitting his proposal to decrease the number of stray’s in the hood. He was not ready to announce his plan till after the meeting and may be in the year 2015, when his plan will be finalized.
Yesterday evening el constable stopped a 1978, 2 door ford whatever and found at least 27 dogs inside the vehicle. The owner and driver of the car was the only barrio dog trainer “here boy” Munoz, and was arrested for driving with too many dogs. El constable told us que they weren’t sure how he was able to driving when he barely fit in the car. But after further investigation and questioning some of the dogs, it turned out that half of the dogs had been reported missing. One of the dogs told this reporter “ bark bark barkkekssl”. All the dogs were arrested and some were later released to their proper owners, the other were let loose and allowed to wonder into the darken streets. “Here Boy” was fined and was taken to the local lalal land clinic for observation that evening.
Ok raza there you have it have a great day.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
hejola report for 06302011
Hejola report for 06302011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Gloria Guerra con today’s award winning barrio headline news;
First breaks out at the mall parking lot.
The Canary in the Coal Mine Moment for Tejano Music opens its doors.
Arrests still continue in burning down the tejano gay bar.
El constable was force to arrest several persons shooting off fireworks inside the mall parking lot. When the constable got there, at least 10 people were fighting and several were on the ground from injuries received during the alterations. It started off as a family fun thing but when they got to the end of the fireworks, that’s when all the trouble started. Charges will be filed against all the persons there and few fireworks were recovered.
The Canary in the Coal Mine Moment for Tejano Music opened its center doors today at the corner of third and wells. This new moment will serve as a warning to others that we have so little control over the fate of Tejano, que we believe in continuing sing anyway. Our philosophy is that we have to live this way indicating a willingness to work con la onda tejano without compromises. With this in mind we believe our strategy for future growth will only come from testing new ways to keep la onda alive. Our moment will evaluate the feasibility of ideas without risking investments. Our first meeting will be held on July 5, 2012. In addition to all this we will try and give out awards to those non members that show interests and new ways to push la onda tejana.
Late last night el constable and el barrio task force 666 conducted another raid deep inside Westside. Arrested were 3 members of that terrorist lesbians group that had set up shop inside the corner of third and wells. Many of this so call what too be men were involved in burning down the tejano gay bar. We are still investigating if there were any more of its members involve.
Have a great day and keep it tejano.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Gloria Guerra con today’s award winning barrio headline news;
First breaks out at the mall parking lot.
The Canary in the Coal Mine Moment for Tejano Music opens its doors.
Arrests still continue in burning down the tejano gay bar.
El constable was force to arrest several persons shooting off fireworks inside the mall parking lot. When the constable got there, at least 10 people were fighting and several were on the ground from injuries received during the alterations. It started off as a family fun thing but when they got to the end of the fireworks, that’s when all the trouble started. Charges will be filed against all the persons there and few fireworks were recovered.
The Canary in the Coal Mine Moment for Tejano Music opened its center doors today at the corner of third and wells. This new moment will serve as a warning to others that we have so little control over the fate of Tejano, que we believe in continuing sing anyway. Our philosophy is that we have to live this way indicating a willingness to work con la onda tejano without compromises. With this in mind we believe our strategy for future growth will only come from testing new ways to keep la onda alive. Our moment will evaluate the feasibility of ideas without risking investments. Our first meeting will be held on July 5, 2012. In addition to all this we will try and give out awards to those non members that show interests and new ways to push la onda tejana.
Late last night el constable and el barrio task force 666 conducted another raid deep inside Westside. Arrested were 3 members of that terrorist lesbians group that had set up shop inside the corner of third and wells. Many of this so call what too be men were involved in burning down the tejano gay bar. We are still investigating if there were any more of its members involve.
Have a great day and keep it tejano.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
hejola report for 06292011
Hejola report for 06292011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again raza I am Bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Barrio members prepare for NASA.
One out of ten barrio members don’t care what happens.
And finally several arrested for burning gay bar.
Yesterday el constable and his barrio 666 task forces raided what is known as Lesbian hang out, where at least seven lesbians were arrested and charged with the burning down the only tejano gay bar last week. El constable tells us que this terrorist organization has been a pain in the rear for several years, but today we are hoping to end this trauma it has over our hood. All seven lesbians were taken to the jail house across the tracks. The constable told us que it normally holds its prisoners on our side but since this group is a bit more dangerous than the drunks we usually arrest, we didn’t want to take any chances.
In another survey, it was reported que only one out of every ten barrio members really doesn’t care about all most anything that happens but in their block. It sad but so true says Ms. Helen Beatle a graduate student that conducted this survey. It was very difficult to ask such questions to a group of people who work real hard, raise a good family, live in nice homes, paid their bills, don’t go out too much, love to stay home and just be plain folks. So the results really showed they don’t really care what others say about different topics. Wow. The average size of a family that was interviewed in the hood was about 13 members per family.
And finally, NASA is looking for a few good barrio members to be part of a new movement in restoring one’s faith in la onda. NATIONAL ASSOCIATION SPANISH AMERCIANS want to make sure that we don’t let the flag down when it comes to tejano music. And in doing this NASA will conduct several training session, where the money that will raised will fall in the right pockets and not in the hands of those that want to take tejano issues and make a profit out of it and not in the pocket of its NASA MAIN objectives. The leader of the group Juan Bajo Sexto told this reported que he was sick and tired of individuals trying to create organization in thinking they are promoting tejano and are only using it to its own profit. No way will we tolerate those individuals making it look like tejano is dying and it’s not. And we are darn sure its not going to happen.
Ok raza, the bottom line is raza if the shoe fits wear it, but we are not going to let tejano die and nevertheless let a hand full of folks determined the future of tejano. It’s a group effort.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again raza I am Bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Barrio members prepare for NASA.
One out of ten barrio members don’t care what happens.
And finally several arrested for burning gay bar.
Yesterday el constable and his barrio 666 task forces raided what is known as Lesbian hang out, where at least seven lesbians were arrested and charged with the burning down the only tejano gay bar last week. El constable tells us que this terrorist organization has been a pain in the rear for several years, but today we are hoping to end this trauma it has over our hood. All seven lesbians were taken to the jail house across the tracks. The constable told us que it normally holds its prisoners on our side but since this group is a bit more dangerous than the drunks we usually arrest, we didn’t want to take any chances.
In another survey, it was reported que only one out of every ten barrio members really doesn’t care about all most anything that happens but in their block. It sad but so true says Ms. Helen Beatle a graduate student that conducted this survey. It was very difficult to ask such questions to a group of people who work real hard, raise a good family, live in nice homes, paid their bills, don’t go out too much, love to stay home and just be plain folks. So the results really showed they don’t really care what others say about different topics. Wow. The average size of a family that was interviewed in the hood was about 13 members per family.
And finally, NASA is looking for a few good barrio members to be part of a new movement in restoring one’s faith in la onda. NATIONAL ASSOCIATION SPANISH AMERCIANS want to make sure that we don’t let the flag down when it comes to tejano music. And in doing this NASA will conduct several training session, where the money that will raised will fall in the right pockets and not in the hands of those that want to take tejano issues and make a profit out of it and not in the pocket of its NASA MAIN objectives. The leader of the group Juan Bajo Sexto told this reported que he was sick and tired of individuals trying to create organization in thinking they are promoting tejano and are only using it to its own profit. No way will we tolerate those individuals making it look like tejano is dying and it’s not. And we are darn sure its not going to happen.
Ok raza, the bottom line is raza if the shoe fits wear it, but we are not going to let tejano die and nevertheless let a hand full of folks determined the future of tejano. It’s a group effort.
Monday, June 27, 2011
hejola report for 06272011
Hejola report for 06272011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, TX hello again, I am bill Diaz con today’s award winning headline news:
Young baseball ends in a good note.
Barrio bicycle permits on the rise.
El compadre busted on barrio facelibro.
Juan P. Pepper was arrested yesterday afternoon by an organization in the hood named I am watching you vato, for displaying himself in a homemade tong, and placing the picture on his web site. The picture would have been no big deal, but his web site is a well known site for children’s songs and poems. Lots of people were very disappointed con Mr. Double p for posting such a picture; he must have had a brain fart. Charges are pending. Oh by the way the website has been shut down.
Yesterday afternoon was el barrio bicycle day where no cars, trucks or any motor type vehicles allowed driving thru the corner of third and wells and along third and wells. El constable tells us que more and more barrio residents are pedaling themselves around more than ever before. He told this reporter que the increase of bicycle permits was up 3 new permits compared to the 2 permits they had last year at this time.
Young baseball program for 2011 finally ended this past weekend, where program organizers were very happy it did. Leo lee Chong, the director of the program told us que this year was the best they ever had and que the list of incidents wasn’t that bad compared to previous years. The best thing that happen this year was the ban on parents not allowed to chase foul balls rule really help us in cutting down on injuries during the games. Last year we reported que 4 adults were serious injured in doing so. 3 broken legs and one broken arm were report last years for chasing foul balls and were being awarded a few snow cone. Thank god this season is over.
Ok raza got to go and keep it tejano.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, TX hello again, I am bill Diaz con today’s award winning headline news:
Young baseball ends in a good note.
Barrio bicycle permits on the rise.
El compadre busted on barrio facelibro.
Juan P. Pepper was arrested yesterday afternoon by an organization in the hood named I am watching you vato, for displaying himself in a homemade tong, and placing the picture on his web site. The picture would have been no big deal, but his web site is a well known site for children’s songs and poems. Lots of people were very disappointed con Mr. Double p for posting such a picture; he must have had a brain fart. Charges are pending. Oh by the way the website has been shut down.
Yesterday afternoon was el barrio bicycle day where no cars, trucks or any motor type vehicles allowed driving thru the corner of third and wells and along third and wells. El constable tells us que more and more barrio residents are pedaling themselves around more than ever before. He told this reporter que the increase of bicycle permits was up 3 new permits compared to the 2 permits they had last year at this time.
Young baseball program for 2011 finally ended this past weekend, where program organizers were very happy it did. Leo lee Chong, the director of the program told us que this year was the best they ever had and que the list of incidents wasn’t that bad compared to previous years. The best thing that happen this year was the ban on parents not allowed to chase foul balls rule really help us in cutting down on injuries during the games. Last year we reported que 4 adults were serious injured in doing so. 3 broken legs and one broken arm were report last years for chasing foul balls and were being awarded a few snow cone. Thank god this season is over.
Ok raza got to go and keep it tejano.
Friday, June 24, 2011
mover over st.patrick day barrio keep it green onda campaign
Move over St. Patrick Day, Barrio Keep it Green onda Campaign 2011 taking over.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, TX. Hello I am El Hijo De Sue, after my new discovery, in keep it everything green forever, the barrio leaders have agreed to assist me in my KEEP IT GREEN ONDA CAMPAIGN across the el barrio. In achieve this I have a established campaign that will represent over 7 to 10 local and regional organizations ranging from clean water groups to sportsmen's groups to affordable housing and barrio park advocates working to secure funding to protect our barrio clean water, barrio natural areas, in some cases barrio farmland, barrio parks and some barrio historic sites for our benefit today and for the benefit of our children and grandchildren the future of the hood.
In doing so, we have assigned 17th of every month as “barrio keep it Green Onda Campaign day”. In which every 17th we will go to any of the above locations and see what can be done that day to improve our barrio and stay within our Keep it green onda. So mark your calendar and as yourself, what have I done to keep my hood green today? I am El Hijo De Sue.
Footnote on the author: a barrio scientist was named outstanding vato for 2011, for designing and developing a green teeth dye that will keep your teeth stay green color forever. El Hijo Sue, 56, a barrio GED and college graduate was honor for this great discovery. I am honor for this award and moved that my product will help those folks with yellow teeth move forward with their life’s knowing que they can make this world more greener than ever. The new dye will be available in the year 2058. Let’s hope if you are still alive, still have teeth to dye? Pesse hejolia.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, TX. Hello I am El Hijo De Sue, after my new discovery, in keep it everything green forever, the barrio leaders have agreed to assist me in my KEEP IT GREEN ONDA CAMPAIGN across the el barrio. In achieve this I have a established campaign that will represent over 7 to 10 local and regional organizations ranging from clean water groups to sportsmen's groups to affordable housing and barrio park advocates working to secure funding to protect our barrio clean water, barrio natural areas, in some cases barrio farmland, barrio parks and some barrio historic sites for our benefit today and for the benefit of our children and grandchildren the future of the hood.
In doing so, we have assigned 17th of every month as “barrio keep it Green Onda Campaign day”. In which every 17th we will go to any of the above locations and see what can be done that day to improve our barrio and stay within our Keep it green onda. So mark your calendar and as yourself, what have I done to keep my hood green today? I am El Hijo De Sue.
Footnote on the author: a barrio scientist was named outstanding vato for 2011, for designing and developing a green teeth dye that will keep your teeth stay green color forever. El Hijo Sue, 56, a barrio GED and college graduate was honor for this great discovery. I am honor for this award and moved that my product will help those folks with yellow teeth move forward with their life’s knowing que they can make this world more greener than ever. The new dye will be available in the year 2058. Let’s hope if you are still alive, still have teeth to dye? Pesse hejolia.
10 more ways to keep tejano more exciting in your life 06242011
10 more ways to keep tejano more exciting in your life, 06242011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello, Johnnie el quemon here, con today’s barrio think tank. Today’s thinking will evolve how ten more ways to keep tejano more exciting in your life:
10. let la commadre wear her Sunday clothes all week long.
9. keep searching for that radio station, it bound to play tejano sooner or later.
8. turn all the lights off in your bedroom and listen to crazy chuy radio program.
7. how long have you been married, and you still haven’t learn how to dance un jupango con your wife.
6. don’t believe everything you read especially about tejano music, its home grown.
5. drink more cheap wine, I love la commadre when she does her tejano thing in her daisy dukes.
4. drink more cheap beer vato, la commadre loves it when you wear her Sunday clothing and her daisy dukes.
3. now everybody get a partner, we have the new Gary Hobbs cd.
2. more over night parties con los primos and las primas. Be sure and bring all 25 children.
1. Jesus I have to work in the morning.
Yes it took several years to come up con this studies we have been posting. Be cool and have a great father’s day, oh my god it was last week.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello, Johnnie el quemon here, con today’s barrio think tank. Today’s thinking will evolve how ten more ways to keep tejano more exciting in your life:
10. let la commadre wear her Sunday clothes all week long.
9. keep searching for that radio station, it bound to play tejano sooner or later.
8. turn all the lights off in your bedroom and listen to crazy chuy radio program.
7. how long have you been married, and you still haven’t learn how to dance un jupango con your wife.
6. don’t believe everything you read especially about tejano music, its home grown.
5. drink more cheap wine, I love la commadre when she does her tejano thing in her daisy dukes.
4. drink more cheap beer vato, la commadre loves it when you wear her Sunday clothing and her daisy dukes.
3. now everybody get a partner, we have the new Gary Hobbs cd.
2. more over night parties con los primos and las primas. Be sure and bring all 25 children.
1. Jesus I have to work in the morning.
Yes it took several years to come up con this studies we have been posting. Be cool and have a great father’s day, oh my god it was last week.
barrio stock market report for 06242011
Barrio stock market report for 06242011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. My name is urbano Yosabatodo con today’s award winning barrio stock market report:
First of all mi raza when barrio companies report their profits and losses every quarter, some are making it and others are not. No I am not trying to say que todos las barrio stocks aren't making monies by being part of this market, but what I am saying es que some are making money,and are just making enough to stay above water. But is that not what business is all about, staying above water?
Now for that award winning barrio stock market report:
Los taquitos: one of the major problems con los taquitos this quarter is que local taco stands are doing a poor job of producing good tacos. Many of the emails we get on this topic, tell us que los tacos aren't what they use to be. Los taquitos ended the week at $1.19 each.
Las empanadas:
Las empanadas seemed to have had a great turn around these last few months. We are told que sales are high and raza are investing mucho mas on las empanadas,like never before. It seems que barrio empanada makers and its shareholders are really putting its profits back into its business. Las empanadas ended the week at $.59 cents each.
Las tortillas:
Many tortillas companies have reported how much of their earnings have kept them reinvesting and retained earnings. But they say que part of it is que small barrio companies don't disclosing what they would have paid in salaries and other French benefits to their now low paid workers. Las tortillas ended the week at $1.45 a pack.
Los tamales:
It really hasn't been a surprise recently in noticing el tamale market is on a bounce for this quarter. What real has helped this market is the well
coordinated and well organized barrio companies are getting. Now
que our tamale guy has not been seen for at least three months and our new
tamale expert has had a heart attack. We were forced to work a bit harder in
gathering this information for you all. One major investor told us yesterday que they were planning to expand its market way beyond the county lines. Los tamales ended the week at an all time high at $6.00 a dozen .
La barbacoa de cabesa:
Now this is very interesting. It seems que el constable cadena was able to have arrested three folks involved on that llama thing we mention last week. Well its all solved now and the llama meat is back on schedule, we should see some llama meat at our barrio meat markets real soon. La barabacoa ended the week at $5.50 a lb.
Alcohol consummation report:
Here is a new twist in drinking or consumming alcohol in el barrio. Personal
responsibility: It is up to each individual barrio member, not our local or
state or even federal government, to make responsible decisions about your
drunk ass life. Personal responsibility raza is the key to a more decent and
just barrio and a just society. State, federal, and local employees, too, must be accountable for their actions, just like barrio members that don't have jobs. And that also includes bar and tavern owners. Cheap beer ended the week at $4.57 a six pack.
Ok raza there you have it, for today and hope que you keep your money in your
pocket. It's a long time till Christmas. Get those layaway going.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. My name is urbano Yosabatodo con today’s award winning barrio stock market report:
First of all mi raza when barrio companies report their profits and losses every quarter, some are making it and others are not. No I am not trying to say que todos las barrio stocks aren't making monies by being part of this market, but what I am saying es que some are making money,and are just making enough to stay above water. But is that not what business is all about, staying above water?
Now for that award winning barrio stock market report:
Los taquitos: one of the major problems con los taquitos this quarter is que local taco stands are doing a poor job of producing good tacos. Many of the emails we get on this topic, tell us que los tacos aren't what they use to be. Los taquitos ended the week at $1.19 each.
Las empanadas:
Las empanadas seemed to have had a great turn around these last few months. We are told que sales are high and raza are investing mucho mas on las empanadas,like never before. It seems que barrio empanada makers and its shareholders are really putting its profits back into its business. Las empanadas ended the week at $.59 cents each.
Las tortillas:
Many tortillas companies have reported how much of their earnings have kept them reinvesting and retained earnings. But they say que part of it is que small barrio companies don't disclosing what they would have paid in salaries and other French benefits to their now low paid workers. Las tortillas ended the week at $1.45 a pack.
Los tamales:
It really hasn't been a surprise recently in noticing el tamale market is on a bounce for this quarter. What real has helped this market is the well
coordinated and well organized barrio companies are getting. Now
que our tamale guy has not been seen for at least three months and our new
tamale expert has had a heart attack. We were forced to work a bit harder in
gathering this information for you all. One major investor told us yesterday que they were planning to expand its market way beyond the county lines. Los tamales ended the week at an all time high at $6.00 a dozen .
La barbacoa de cabesa:
Now this is very interesting. It seems que el constable cadena was able to have arrested three folks involved on that llama thing we mention last week. Well its all solved now and the llama meat is back on schedule, we should see some llama meat at our barrio meat markets real soon. La barabacoa ended the week at $5.50 a lb.
Alcohol consummation report:
Here is a new twist in drinking or consumming alcohol in el barrio. Personal
responsibility: It is up to each individual barrio member, not our local or
state or even federal government, to make responsible decisions about your
drunk ass life. Personal responsibility raza is the key to a more decent and
just barrio and a just society. State, federal, and local employees, too, must be accountable for their actions, just like barrio members that don't have jobs. And that also includes bar and tavern owners. Cheap beer ended the week at $4.57 a six pack.
Ok raza there you have it, for today and hope que you keep your money in your
pocket. It's a long time till Christmas. Get those layaway going.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
2011 tejano consumer report
2011 tejano consumer report, tejano could be bad for your health in more ways than none.
Cchnn.
Kingsville, tx. Hi again, I am Gloria Guerra with an update for tejano consumers and tejano products report. We don’t hear too much on this topic but lately we have gotten some emails asking us to check on this issue.
Here is our top ten tejano consumer and products that you should be aware of 2011:
10. don’t drink beer from beer cans left outside during the evening. Case study shows that more and more tejano’s are drinking from cans from the previous night find more and more roaches in them. One consumer couldn’t wait till noon on Sunday, so he took a big drink from a beer can left outside the night before and swallowed three giant roaches.
9. don’t buy used tejano clothing. Case study show that when you are buying used tejano clothing the size indicated might not be the size you bought. This allows tejano’s to wear larger clothing and changing size smaller to make them look thinner. Or the previous person just stretched it out two sizes larger.
8. don’t dance too long on those high heels. Case study has shown que if you go to a tejano dance wearing high heels, they might have gotten a bit shorter due to the fact que you wore them out while dance ten or more songs in a role.
7. don’t buy those expensive drinks at bars. Case study have shown que if you drink enough at home and stick your head out the window while you drive at 85 mph there, scientific study have shown que you should have a good buzz way before you get there, which will reduce you from spending so much money at the bar que you wonder what happen to all your cash. Oh by the way the new hair style will be free.
6. don’t pick up any one at a tejano bar. Case study have shown que the majority of men and women that go to tejano dances are either married and there by themselves, or are there looking for their x’s to see who there are messing around with. Beware of los chingaso behind the head when not looking. Could be bad for your health.
5. don’t get there to early, you might be charged with a higher cover charge. Case studies have shown que if you get there about one hour before the bar closes, you have a better time and less expensive and still see the main attraction.
4. don’t take pictures at tejano bars. Case study showed que tejona’s that go to bar when there are not suppose too find themselves in lot of shit back how and having to explain the picture later to love ones.
3. don’t go too a tejano dance if you are not suppose too. Case studies have shown que if you go to a tejano dance it’s very possible that you might go home smelling like the bar and its harder to explain from where that smell came and not a birthday party at the office.
2. don’t dance with other persons if they didn’t go with you. Case studies have shown que if you ask a person too dance sitting there by themselves surely have a date there but went to the bathroom or buy then a drink . It dangerous too your health.
1. and finally if you are a member of the band take your wife with you. Case studies have shown que more and more band members are getting divorces or left due to all the groupies that follow them from dance to dance and didn’t take their love one with them .
Ok raza got to go , have a great tejano day.
Cchnn.
Kingsville, tx. Hi again, I am Gloria Guerra with an update for tejano consumers and tejano products report. We don’t hear too much on this topic but lately we have gotten some emails asking us to check on this issue.
Here is our top ten tejano consumer and products that you should be aware of 2011:
10. don’t drink beer from beer cans left outside during the evening. Case study shows that more and more tejano’s are drinking from cans from the previous night find more and more roaches in them. One consumer couldn’t wait till noon on Sunday, so he took a big drink from a beer can left outside the night before and swallowed three giant roaches.
9. don’t buy used tejano clothing. Case study show that when you are buying used tejano clothing the size indicated might not be the size you bought. This allows tejano’s to wear larger clothing and changing size smaller to make them look thinner. Or the previous person just stretched it out two sizes larger.
8. don’t dance too long on those high heels. Case study has shown que if you go to a tejano dance wearing high heels, they might have gotten a bit shorter due to the fact que you wore them out while dance ten or more songs in a role.
7. don’t buy those expensive drinks at bars. Case study have shown que if you drink enough at home and stick your head out the window while you drive at 85 mph there, scientific study have shown que you should have a good buzz way before you get there, which will reduce you from spending so much money at the bar que you wonder what happen to all your cash. Oh by the way the new hair style will be free.
6. don’t pick up any one at a tejano bar. Case study have shown que the majority of men and women that go to tejano dances are either married and there by themselves, or are there looking for their x’s to see who there are messing around with. Beware of los chingaso behind the head when not looking. Could be bad for your health.
5. don’t get there to early, you might be charged with a higher cover charge. Case studies have shown que if you get there about one hour before the bar closes, you have a better time and less expensive and still see the main attraction.
4. don’t take pictures at tejano bars. Case study showed que tejona’s that go to bar when there are not suppose too find themselves in lot of shit back how and having to explain the picture later to love ones.
3. don’t go too a tejano dance if you are not suppose too. Case studies have shown que if you go to a tejano dance it’s very possible that you might go home smelling like the bar and its harder to explain from where that smell came and not a birthday party at the office.
2. don’t dance with other persons if they didn’t go with you. Case studies have shown que if you ask a person too dance sitting there by themselves surely have a date there but went to the bathroom or buy then a drink . It dangerous too your health.
1. and finally if you are a member of the band take your wife with you. Case studies have shown que more and more band members are getting divorces or left due to all the groupies that follow them from dance to dance and didn’t take their love one with them .
Ok raza got to go , have a great tejano day.
hejola report for 06232011
Hejola report for 06232011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Everything green is ok, even your teeth.
New barrio web site for older citizens shut down in two minutes.
Barrio cemetery stops taking pets.
We told you it would be a matter of time when the folks realized que its not cool to be buried next to your owner if you where its best friend, a pet. The city and county commissioners voted on a joint effort to stop the practices of burying pet’s next to its owners inside the county and city limits. The order was passed yesterday and will not allow animal remains to be buried together anymore. A small group of pet owners and love ones protested such an order and might just decide to recall those elected officials that don’t have a heart for its man’s best friend.
Yesterday a new barrio internet service was going to open its site but was shut down within minutes from its grand opening. The reason could be several but the main one was que it was a service for adults over the age of 90 and must submit naked pictures in order to be able to purchase the services and be a member. The council for older vato’s president told this reporter que it’s ridiculous to have our older members of the hood exposing them in order to buy this services and who in the world would one to see our seniors naked. Charges will not be filed.
Yesterday a barrio scientist was named outstanding vato for 2011, for designing and developing a green teeth dye that will keep your teeth stay green color forever. El Hijo Sue, 56, a barrio ged and college graduate was honor for this great discovery. I am honor for this award and moved that my product will help those folks with yellow teeth move forward with their life’s knowing que they can make this world more greener than ever. The new dye will be available in the year 2058. Let’s hope if you are still alive, still have teeth to dye? Pesse hejolia.
Ok raza, just keep it tejano.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Everything green is ok, even your teeth.
New barrio web site for older citizens shut down in two minutes.
Barrio cemetery stops taking pets.
We told you it would be a matter of time when the folks realized que its not cool to be buried next to your owner if you where its best friend, a pet. The city and county commissioners voted on a joint effort to stop the practices of burying pet’s next to its owners inside the county and city limits. The order was passed yesterday and will not allow animal remains to be buried together anymore. A small group of pet owners and love ones protested such an order and might just decide to recall those elected officials that don’t have a heart for its man’s best friend.
Yesterday a new barrio internet service was going to open its site but was shut down within minutes from its grand opening. The reason could be several but the main one was que it was a service for adults over the age of 90 and must submit naked pictures in order to be able to purchase the services and be a member. The council for older vato’s president told this reporter que it’s ridiculous to have our older members of the hood exposing them in order to buy this services and who in the world would one to see our seniors naked. Charges will not be filed.
Yesterday a barrio scientist was named outstanding vato for 2011, for designing and developing a green teeth dye that will keep your teeth stay green color forever. El Hijo Sue, 56, a barrio ged and college graduate was honor for this great discovery. I am honor for this award and moved that my product will help those folks with yellow teeth move forward with their life’s knowing que they can make this world more greener than ever. The new dye will be available in the year 2058. Let’s hope if you are still alive, still have teeth to dye? Pesse hejolia.
Ok raza, just keep it tejano.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
tejano survey for 2011
Tejano survey results for June 2011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello tejano fans I am Johnnie el quemon con some very interesting results from this past weekend bar hopping. We took a survey of ten tejanos at two different tejano bars. Well one of the burned down but doesn’t change the results. And here are our findings.
The top ten answers were:
1. Why do you go out on weekdays: because we can only barbque once a week.
2. Do you dance tejano music at home? Yes we do but very limited due to the record players skips if you stomp your feet too much.
3. Do you make fun of others when you go out to tejano bars? No we don’t, might get our ass kicked for looking too long.
4. Do you use the bathroom at tejano bars? No we don’t, we go outside instead, makes me feel at home.
5. What kind of beer do you drink? The free ones mostly.
6. What should tejano bar owners do to avoid fights inside the bar? Set up a boxing ring outside the parking lot so they can strap it on before someone calls the cops.
7. Have you ever been barred from a tejano bar? Yes we have and thank the lord it burned down.
8. Have you accidently kissed another person at a tejano bar? I did and it was my uncle, I think she needed a shave.
9. How late should tejano bar’s be open? No later than ten o’clock so I can see myself in the evening news.
10. What reasons would you use not to go back to that same tejano bar? My x wife keep going there, trying to make me jealous.
ok folks there you have it and have a great day.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello tejano fans I am Johnnie el quemon con some very interesting results from this past weekend bar hopping. We took a survey of ten tejanos at two different tejano bars. Well one of the burned down but doesn’t change the results. And here are our findings.
The top ten answers were:
1. Why do you go out on weekdays: because we can only barbque once a week.
2. Do you dance tejano music at home? Yes we do but very limited due to the record players skips if you stomp your feet too much.
3. Do you make fun of others when you go out to tejano bars? No we don’t, might get our ass kicked for looking too long.
4. Do you use the bathroom at tejano bars? No we don’t, we go outside instead, makes me feel at home.
5. What kind of beer do you drink? The free ones mostly.
6. What should tejano bar owners do to avoid fights inside the bar? Set up a boxing ring outside the parking lot so they can strap it on before someone calls the cops.
7. Have you ever been barred from a tejano bar? Yes we have and thank the lord it burned down.
8. Have you accidently kissed another person at a tejano bar? I did and it was my uncle, I think she needed a shave.
9. How late should tejano bar’s be open? No later than ten o’clock so I can see myself in the evening news.
10. What reasons would you use not to go back to that same tejano bar? My x wife keep going there, trying to make me jealous.
ok folks there you have it and have a great day.
blanca blanch blanco
Up date on Blanca Blanch Blanco.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Wow it’s amazing on how thing can take a sudden turn. Hello I am Gloria Guerra, investigator reporter for cchwnn. We got word or shall we shall we got an email from our missing friend and co worker Blanca Blanch Blanco yesterday morning from an undisclosed location, tell us que we will be seeing her soon in the states. The text message was not very clear of here where about but it does mention que she will be coming home soon. We wish that we could share much more with you but that’s all we have for now.
If you remember she was kidnapped several months ago and we had given up on her due to the facts que we didn’t have the funds to continue searching for world wide. Especially those countries that don’t take food stamps. But for now we are very excited to have gotten some indication que she still is alive and well somewhere over the rainbow.
We will have more details on the Resurrection of Blanca Blanch Blanco 2011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Wow it’s amazing on how thing can take a sudden turn. Hello I am Gloria Guerra, investigator reporter for cchwnn. We got word or shall we shall we got an email from our missing friend and co worker Blanca Blanch Blanco yesterday morning from an undisclosed location, tell us que we will be seeing her soon in the states. The text message was not very clear of here where about but it does mention que she will be coming home soon. We wish that we could share much more with you but that’s all we have for now.
If you remember she was kidnapped several months ago and we had given up on her due to the facts que we didn’t have the funds to continue searching for world wide. Especially those countries that don’t take food stamps. But for now we are very excited to have gotten some indication que she still is alive and well somewhere over the rainbow.
We will have more details on the Resurrection of Blanca Blanch Blanco 2011.
hejola report for 06222011
Hejola report for 06222011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx, como estan I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Commadres parrot puts the finger on her.
Vato busted inside church,
And Dr. Isassi busted.
Juan Morena was surprised late last night when he was arrested inside our Lady of Faith church passed out, or something like that. The police report states that Morena was suddenly attacked and knotted out when he bent down to open the donation box and all of sudden a statue of Saint Mary fell on top of his head and knocked him out on the floor and was found by a church staff member lying on the floor. The good thing says the church staff member is que he didn’t steal the money and our statue didn’t break. Charges will be filed against Mr. Moreno.
Doctor Benito Isassi,57, was arrested yesterday morning at his office inside the Westinghouse barrio mall and charged with practicing medicine without a driver’s license nor medical license. He was reported by two barrio middle age commadres, that were convince to let him fondle their breasts under the guise that he was performing a breast exam, chinga. According to el constables report the incident happened at the burned down gay bar a few weeks ago. Charges will be filed against him.
Noelia Najerha,57 was charged in the death of her 78 year old mother in the hood yesterday. It seems that for some reason or another her mother’s body was found among squadid conditions at their home. Ms. Najerha denied she had been neglectful with her mother but the mother’s parrot might have disagreed according to el constable’s report, the parrot, consider a good Samartian, was found inside the mother’s bedroom, continually squawkeing and mimicking “ help me, help me” followed by the sound of laughter. If things go the way we want things to go says el constable, the parrot will be our key witness.
Ok raza there you have it and thank god it rained.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx, como estan I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Commadres parrot puts the finger on her.
Vato busted inside church,
And Dr. Isassi busted.
Juan Morena was surprised late last night when he was arrested inside our Lady of Faith church passed out, or something like that. The police report states that Morena was suddenly attacked and knotted out when he bent down to open the donation box and all of sudden a statue of Saint Mary fell on top of his head and knocked him out on the floor and was found by a church staff member lying on the floor. The good thing says the church staff member is que he didn’t steal the money and our statue didn’t break. Charges will be filed against Mr. Moreno.
Doctor Benito Isassi,57, was arrested yesterday morning at his office inside the Westinghouse barrio mall and charged with practicing medicine without a driver’s license nor medical license. He was reported by two barrio middle age commadres, that were convince to let him fondle their breasts under the guise that he was performing a breast exam, chinga. According to el constables report the incident happened at the burned down gay bar a few weeks ago. Charges will be filed against him.
Noelia Najerha,57 was charged in the death of her 78 year old mother in the hood yesterday. It seems that for some reason or another her mother’s body was found among squadid conditions at their home. Ms. Najerha denied she had been neglectful with her mother but the mother’s parrot might have disagreed according to el constable’s report, the parrot, consider a good Samartian, was found inside the mother’s bedroom, continually squawkeing and mimicking “ help me, help me” followed by the sound of laughter. If things go the way we want things to go says el constable, the parrot will be our key witness.
Ok raza there you have it and thank god it rained.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
gay tejano bar burns down.
Cchwnn: news flash< Gay tejano bar burns down.
Cchwnn.
06212011.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Alcardio Samudio con this news flash. It seems que the only gay tejano bar burned down today around 6:30am where at least 10 vato locos volunteer firefighters and ten real fire trucks tried their best to save the best tejano bar in county. It seems that we got here a bit too late says one of los loco volunteers in saving the bar. The Gold Boot had only been open a few weeks since no one mention of it had been made, that It was a gay tejano bar.
Well that’s right and that’s the fact que this bar has burned down and it seems que some one might have torch it earlier this morning. An investigation will be conducted later this week. Oh by the way they won’t be open for this 4of july gay tejano bash 2011. Gee sorry guys and girls and whatever.
Now we return to your local broadcasting.
Cchwnn.
06212011.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Alcardio Samudio con this news flash. It seems que the only gay tejano bar burned down today around 6:30am where at least 10 vato locos volunteer firefighters and ten real fire trucks tried their best to save the best tejano bar in county. It seems that we got here a bit too late says one of los loco volunteers in saving the bar. The Gold Boot had only been open a few weeks since no one mention of it had been made, that It was a gay tejano bar.
Well that’s right and that’s the fact que this bar has burned down and it seems que some one might have torch it earlier this morning. An investigation will be conducted later this week. Oh by the way they won’t be open for this 4of july gay tejano bash 2011. Gee sorry guys and girls and whatever.
Now we return to your local broadcasting.
hejola report for 06212011
Hejola report for 06212011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again my friends I am Bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Several task force members suspend.
Barrio man arrested for trying to steal money from bank.
And finally old world war II bomb found in the hood.
Yesterday afternoon el constable cadena was force to suspend two of his barrio task force 666 members after they scuffled at the Westinghouse barrio mall dinner area, reportedly over a bag of tortillas. A waiter at the dinner had to break up the fight.
Juan Cortez, 61 left the barrio saving and loan empty handed this past weekend despite having passed the teller a note demanding a “ Easter basket full of cash”. However, he forgot to bring the basket with him inside the building, and the teller said she didn’t have one either because it wasn’t in season. Mr. Cortez was arrested about 30 minutes later by el constable cadena, noticed a man walking in the alley at the counter of third and wells carrying an empty Easter basket.
And finally, el compadre Mario Munoz, the owner or shall we say the previous owner of the only army and navy supplies store that had been closed for several years, was arrested and then released when he sold what appeared to be a classic world war II-era bomb to Billy Alexheart a war veteran who collects bombs and stuff. As Billy unwisely decision to load his bomb into his vehicle, was stopped by el constable cadena while he drove by and noticed his action. Cadena reacted predictably and logically, fled the area with Billy and Mr. Munoz, and closed down the street around his building and called then nearest bomb squad which later detonated it safely. Both men were unfamiliar with the no bomb ordnance in the hood. Charges are pending.
Ok raza there you have it and have a great tejano day.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again my friends I am Bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Several task force members suspend.
Barrio man arrested for trying to steal money from bank.
And finally old world war II bomb found in the hood.
Yesterday afternoon el constable cadena was force to suspend two of his barrio task force 666 members after they scuffled at the Westinghouse barrio mall dinner area, reportedly over a bag of tortillas. A waiter at the dinner had to break up the fight.
Juan Cortez, 61 left the barrio saving and loan empty handed this past weekend despite having passed the teller a note demanding a “ Easter basket full of cash”. However, he forgot to bring the basket with him inside the building, and the teller said she didn’t have one either because it wasn’t in season. Mr. Cortez was arrested about 30 minutes later by el constable cadena, noticed a man walking in the alley at the counter of third and wells carrying an empty Easter basket.
And finally, el compadre Mario Munoz, the owner or shall we say the previous owner of the only army and navy supplies store that had been closed for several years, was arrested and then released when he sold what appeared to be a classic world war II-era bomb to Billy Alexheart a war veteran who collects bombs and stuff. As Billy unwisely decision to load his bomb into his vehicle, was stopped by el constable cadena while he drove by and noticed his action. Cadena reacted predictably and logically, fled the area with Billy and Mr. Munoz, and closed down the street around his building and called then nearest bomb squad which later detonated it safely. Both men were unfamiliar with the no bomb ordnance in the hood. Charges are pending.
Ok raza there you have it and have a great tejano day.
Monday, June 20, 2011
hejola report fo 06212018
Hejola report for 06212018
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again all you mothers and fathers. I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news, but let me inform you that our creator did not get a single call from his three daughter’s wishing him father’s day greeting. I told you so. But for now let’s over our award winning barrio headline news:
Three father day stories:
Father falls dead after a surprise given to him.
Comparde’s family brings him home for several days.
And finally, el compadre gets 150 surprises.
John Silverman Chapa got the surprise of his life when all his 29 children from his last three wives decided to pay his a visit this past father’s day. All 150 folks came over to his one upstairs bedroom apartment and expect to party all night. The 150 folks there represented his three x wives, children, grandchildren, and maybe a few close friends. Since Chapa was not made aware of this surprise party he answered his front door in his underwear and ask all 150 people to wait a few hours while he clean up the apartment and took a bath. The party ended around 7:pm due to the fact que he was real sleepy.
El compadre die suddenly Saturday morning and was taken to the Morras funeral home. One of el compadres last wishes was to have his friends and family listen to about 1500 hours of recorded music he had done for the last several years. Once his family went over his last wish, they convince the funeral home to allow them to bring the casket with el compadre body to their home so they could listen to the 1500 hours of his taped music. The reason to bring him home was it was cheaper to have the body at their home instead of spending thousands of dollars that they didn’t have, and listen to the music at the funeral home. El compadre is expected to be back at the funeral home in about 38 days.
After being released from the hospital for heart problems, he was home about ten hours, when his family decided to make his return home a great day to remember, well it was. Mr. Munoz was resting in his favor sofa when his family surprised him with a giant cake. Once Mr. Munoz made it to the back porch to take a look at the cake, the top blew open and a half naked woman jumped up and scared Mr. Munoz, who suffered a massive heart attack and was pronounced dead at his home back porch. No arrests made yet.
Oh well raza have a great tejano day.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again all you mothers and fathers. I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news, but let me inform you that our creator did not get a single call from his three daughter’s wishing him father’s day greeting. I told you so. But for now let’s over our award winning barrio headline news:
Three father day stories:
Father falls dead after a surprise given to him.
Comparde’s family brings him home for several days.
And finally, el compadre gets 150 surprises.
John Silverman Chapa got the surprise of his life when all his 29 children from his last three wives decided to pay his a visit this past father’s day. All 150 folks came over to his one upstairs bedroom apartment and expect to party all night. The 150 folks there represented his three x wives, children, grandchildren, and maybe a few close friends. Since Chapa was not made aware of this surprise party he answered his front door in his underwear and ask all 150 people to wait a few hours while he clean up the apartment and took a bath. The party ended around 7:pm due to the fact que he was real sleepy.
El compadre die suddenly Saturday morning and was taken to the Morras funeral home. One of el compadres last wishes was to have his friends and family listen to about 1500 hours of recorded music he had done for the last several years. Once his family went over his last wish, they convince the funeral home to allow them to bring the casket with el compadre body to their home so they could listen to the 1500 hours of his taped music. The reason to bring him home was it was cheaper to have the body at their home instead of spending thousands of dollars that they didn’t have, and listen to the music at the funeral home. El compadre is expected to be back at the funeral home in about 38 days.
After being released from the hospital for heart problems, he was home about ten hours, when his family decided to make his return home a great day to remember, well it was. Mr. Munoz was resting in his favor sofa when his family surprised him with a giant cake. Once Mr. Munoz made it to the back porch to take a look at the cake, the top blew open and a half naked woman jumped up and scared Mr. Munoz, who suffered a massive heart attack and was pronounced dead at his home back porch. No arrests made yet.
Oh well raza have a great tejano day.
Friday, June 17, 2011
hejola report for 06202011
Hejola report for 06202011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Veronica la lesbian, con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Tejano strap it on con normal country raza.
Ten more reasons to love tejano.
And finally a few shots taken at our office.
Just a few minutes ago, el compadre Mario Lomas took a few shots of left over alcohol from last night party in the hood. We mention to him que it was kind of early for him to be doing that. But he mentions que he was used to it. And it did really matter anyhow; he finished what was left over.
After a survey, another one, was conducted asking barrio raza in our hood ten more new reasons how and why to love tejano music. And here are the results;
1. Need more slow songs, in order to hug la commadre more often?
2. La commadre needs to wear her daisy dukes shorts she wore when she weighted 152 lbs (now weights 258lbs).
3. Conjunto need to wear more dress suits, when they perform, just in case they go to court after the gig.
4. La commadre has to buy shorter high heels due to the fact que el compadre is getting shorter.
5. Conjunto need to stop looking like the old wild west.
6. No more cover charges at dances, instead of charging money, take recycle cans, copper and metal items. It’s a better deal.
7. Stop paying beer for conjuntos members wanting free beer as they perform. They might not sound the same way three hours later.
8. Get of off jail card free for conjunto members when they leave a dance. DWI, pi , and wtf.
9. Open the doors earlier at dances and people might leave sooner than later.
10. Have your favor conjunto come over and spend the night with your family. Stay up all night and talk about the good ole days.
Well raza, as you can see it was a great turn out and thanks to all the folks in our hood for their time in doing this survey.
It was just about midnight, with a full moon; one could feel it in the air when all hell broke loose. It seems que you can’t have a party before someone says something that someone didn’t want to hear. Somewhere between country music and tejano sounds discussion, el compadre came from behind and wanted to teach is friend, a country raza, some lesson in tejano music. In doing so he grab his accordion and hit his friend over his head with it.
Now el vato, normal country raza, stood up after he hit his head on the ground and grab his violin and smacked his compadre over his faces, breaking into a thousand pieces. Both men realized how foolish they looked after wrestling for several hours in the back yard, tossing and yelling and some screaming from the children, wives, other friends watching this ultimate culture match. When the dust settled both men hugged each other and were wondering how in the world we got to this.
Ok have a great tejano day.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Veronica la lesbian, con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Tejano strap it on con normal country raza.
Ten more reasons to love tejano.
And finally a few shots taken at our office.
Just a few minutes ago, el compadre Mario Lomas took a few shots of left over alcohol from last night party in the hood. We mention to him que it was kind of early for him to be doing that. But he mentions que he was used to it. And it did really matter anyhow; he finished what was left over.
After a survey, another one, was conducted asking barrio raza in our hood ten more new reasons how and why to love tejano music. And here are the results;
1. Need more slow songs, in order to hug la commadre more often?
2. La commadre needs to wear her daisy dukes shorts she wore when she weighted 152 lbs (now weights 258lbs).
3. Conjunto need to wear more dress suits, when they perform, just in case they go to court after the gig.
4. La commadre has to buy shorter high heels due to the fact que el compadre is getting shorter.
5. Conjunto need to stop looking like the old wild west.
6. No more cover charges at dances, instead of charging money, take recycle cans, copper and metal items. It’s a better deal.
7. Stop paying beer for conjuntos members wanting free beer as they perform. They might not sound the same way three hours later.
8. Get of off jail card free for conjunto members when they leave a dance. DWI, pi , and wtf.
9. Open the doors earlier at dances and people might leave sooner than later.
10. Have your favor conjunto come over and spend the night with your family. Stay up all night and talk about the good ole days.
Well raza, as you can see it was a great turn out and thanks to all the folks in our hood for their time in doing this survey.
It was just about midnight, with a full moon; one could feel it in the air when all hell broke loose. It seems que you can’t have a party before someone says something that someone didn’t want to hear. Somewhere between country music and tejano sounds discussion, el compadre came from behind and wanted to teach is friend, a country raza, some lesson in tejano music. In doing so he grab his accordion and hit his friend over his head with it.
Now el vato, normal country raza, stood up after he hit his head on the ground and grab his violin and smacked his compadre over his faces, breaking into a thousand pieces. Both men realized how foolish they looked after wrestling for several hours in the back yard, tossing and yelling and some screaming from the children, wives, other friends watching this ultimate culture match. When the dust settled both men hugged each other and were wondering how in the world we got to this.
Ok have a great tejano day.
barrio stock market report for 06172011
Barrio stock market report for 06172011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Urbano Yosabatodo con this week’s barrio stock market report.
Las tortillas ended the week stable at $1.25 pack.
Las empanadas stable at $.59 cent each.
Los tamales, well that is another story. El tamale guy has not been around for awhile but there is a new tamale person in the hood, tamales ended the week at $5.50 a dozen.
La barbacoa de cabeza end the week at a very high rate of $6.00 a lb.
And no cheap beer ended the week at $5.50 a six pack.
Los taquitos ended the week at a very special rate $1.10 each.
Barrio want ads:
#345344 tejano clothing for sale, gone country. 14 to 25 size pants.
#444343 tejano music for sale.
#443900 old cars and new ones piled up for sale. No one has claimed them , make offered.
Ok raza got to go and chase down some raza.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Urbano Yosabatodo con this week’s barrio stock market report.
Las tortillas ended the week stable at $1.25 pack.
Las empanadas stable at $.59 cent each.
Los tamales, well that is another story. El tamale guy has not been around for awhile but there is a new tamale person in the hood, tamales ended the week at $5.50 a dozen.
La barbacoa de cabeza end the week at a very high rate of $6.00 a lb.
And no cheap beer ended the week at $5.50 a six pack.
Los taquitos ended the week at a very special rate $1.10 each.
Barrio want ads:
#345344 tejano clothing for sale, gone country. 14 to 25 size pants.
#444343 tejano music for sale.
#443900 old cars and new ones piled up for sale. No one has claimed them , make offered.
Ok raza got to go and chase down some raza.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
hejola report for 06152011
Hejola report for 06152011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again raza como estan, I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Barrio Couple get married in their pool.
Floods and other water damages add up.
And finally father day event cancelled.
The founding fathers and mothers have decided to cancel this year’s father day event due to the big problems they had last year. In the past this event has helped many families reconciled their family relationships and helping them to start over. But within the last two years this event has only brought more problems and the majority of the families that have reconciled, keep coming back to this event to start over.
Since the last time we reported que a barrio water tower had crash on Westside residents, many have clean up the mess and damages are reporter more than what was estimated earlier says a barrio leader. We don’t mind the water coming down on us but dang the cars, and the trash that was left behind is the most concern now. It seems that many junk cars that were park along the streets have all moved further down the street and no one has claimed them within two weeks. If you know of someone missing a junk car or their car please ask them to call us to see if its piled up over here at the corner of wells and third street.
Yesterday was the only wedding ever held in the middle of the street at the corner of third and wells, where John and Mary and their best friend Peter got a parade permit allowing them to close that part of the street for about two hours while the set up a plastic swimming pool so they could get married in it. Since both of them didn’t have a car and they both wanted a wedding near the ocean, the plastic pool was the closes they could get to the ocean. Congratulations.
Oh well have a great tejano day.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again raza como estan, I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Barrio Couple get married in their pool.
Floods and other water damages add up.
And finally father day event cancelled.
The founding fathers and mothers have decided to cancel this year’s father day event due to the big problems they had last year. In the past this event has helped many families reconciled their family relationships and helping them to start over. But within the last two years this event has only brought more problems and the majority of the families that have reconciled, keep coming back to this event to start over.
Since the last time we reported que a barrio water tower had crash on Westside residents, many have clean up the mess and damages are reporter more than what was estimated earlier says a barrio leader. We don’t mind the water coming down on us but dang the cars, and the trash that was left behind is the most concern now. It seems that many junk cars that were park along the streets have all moved further down the street and no one has claimed them within two weeks. If you know of someone missing a junk car or their car please ask them to call us to see if its piled up over here at the corner of wells and third street.
Yesterday was the only wedding ever held in the middle of the street at the corner of third and wells, where John and Mary and their best friend Peter got a parade permit allowing them to close that part of the street for about two hours while the set up a plastic swimming pool so they could get married in it. Since both of them didn’t have a car and they both wanted a wedding near the ocean, the plastic pool was the closes they could get to the ocean. Congratulations.
Oh well have a great tejano day.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
hejola report for 06142012
Hejola report for 06142012.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am bill diaz back for a lazy day vacation, but for now here is our award winning barrio headline news:
la commadre y el compadre Ruiz get divorce.
Mario Barrera busted again.
And finally, county and city award landscaping contract to sheep and goat owner.
Yesterday at our city and county district board meeting, decided to release 10 yard and ground workers and replace them with a plan to keep the county and city parks and lawns neatly trimmed and greener than ever. In doing this they hired 15 sheep and 10 goats for these chores. The city and county made their weird decision based on the fact that the food was already on hand and that all they had to do was supply the sheep and goats with water. The woolly animals will be provided by a company named “half sheep and goats will travel company”. The cost of using this method will be about $20,000 cheaper. Plus this animals show up to work every day, says a county commissioner.
El constable cadena told us que Mario Barrera was arrested and taken to the nearest lalala land hospital for pushing his hand push lawn mower under the influence and wear nothing but his underwear. El constable said que he got a call from the widow next door who had been married seven times before that the man across the street was mowing his lawn in his underwear and that he appeared to be intoxicated. Once el constable got to Barrera home he saw him finish a beer and threw the can into the city street almost hitting him. He arrested Mr. Barrera and charged him with a PI and also charged him with assault of peace officer with an empty can of beer.
Yesterday afternoon at a rare meeting at la gorda café, both La commadre Maria y El compadre Manuel along with their 82 year old lawyer announced que they were getting a divorce after being married more than 62 years. Asked why get divorce now after all this years, the only responds they had was they wanted to make sure que all their children were dead before getting a divorce. Oh by the way La Commadre Maria is 93 years old y el compadre is 96 years old.
Well raza there you have it. Have a great woolly day.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am bill diaz back for a lazy day vacation, but for now here is our award winning barrio headline news:
la commadre y el compadre Ruiz get divorce.
Mario Barrera busted again.
And finally, county and city award landscaping contract to sheep and goat owner.
Yesterday at our city and county district board meeting, decided to release 10 yard and ground workers and replace them with a plan to keep the county and city parks and lawns neatly trimmed and greener than ever. In doing this they hired 15 sheep and 10 goats for these chores. The city and county made their weird decision based on the fact that the food was already on hand and that all they had to do was supply the sheep and goats with water. The woolly animals will be provided by a company named “half sheep and goats will travel company”. The cost of using this method will be about $20,000 cheaper. Plus this animals show up to work every day, says a county commissioner.
El constable cadena told us que Mario Barrera was arrested and taken to the nearest lalala land hospital for pushing his hand push lawn mower under the influence and wear nothing but his underwear. El constable said que he got a call from the widow next door who had been married seven times before that the man across the street was mowing his lawn in his underwear and that he appeared to be intoxicated. Once el constable got to Barrera home he saw him finish a beer and threw the can into the city street almost hitting him. He arrested Mr. Barrera and charged him with a PI and also charged him with assault of peace officer with an empty can of beer.
Yesterday afternoon at a rare meeting at la gorda café, both La commadre Maria y El compadre Manuel along with their 82 year old lawyer announced que they were getting a divorce after being married more than 62 years. Asked why get divorce now after all this years, the only responds they had was they wanted to make sure que all their children were dead before getting a divorce. Oh by the way La Commadre Maria is 93 years old y el compadre is 96 years old.
Well raza there you have it. Have a great woolly day.
Monday, June 13, 2011
hejola report for 06132011
Hejola report for 06132011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, Tx. Once again I am bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news;
Vato with three arms gets high paying job.
No word on missing adults.
And finally, barrio braces for high water bills.
Yesterday afternoon Westside was hit hard with the largest water wave it had seen in its history when the only water tower fell from its 200 foot platform and came crashing down on them. Ruining many of west residents activities, homes, backyards, front yards, and even some garage sales. At least 300 members were rush to St. Paul’s medical center for some treatment. Barrio leaders were informed que there won’t be any water for the next ten years. Furthermore, told us that this didn’t apply unless you have about 3500 feet of water hoes'. An investigation is being done on this watery matter.
This weekend the La casa de los old people, reported a bunch of their clients had gone AWOL and had no clues where they went and how they got out. About 30 relatives visited the center press hearing and were told que they were really worried about the bunch of old folks that were reported missing yesterday morning. “We have no clues to their whereabouts of these seniors’ citizens, said Dr. Frankenstern the director of the center. El constable and his barrio task forces have closed off all the city and county roads and have placed checkpoints to see if they can find them. Several family members have put together a posse to look for them in the woods and bars. If you have seen or noticed a bunch of old folks walking, talking, hiding or hiking, or even swimming, please contact el constable caden.
It’s rare, but does happen que some people in this world might just have a third limb. That is the case con Johnnie Palo the only vato in the hood with three arm. This week end he was offered the best paying job in the hood that is making snow cones. John Elwood the owner of the “snow shop in the hood” wanted a person with experiences and talented and worked fast. Once he interviewed Palo he knew this man was the talented person he had been looking for. Mr. Elwood is thinking on opening an additional part to his store, shining shoes.
Ok raza have a great tejano day.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, Tx. Once again I am bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news;
Vato with three arms gets high paying job.
No word on missing adults.
And finally, barrio braces for high water bills.
Yesterday afternoon Westside was hit hard with the largest water wave it had seen in its history when the only water tower fell from its 200 foot platform and came crashing down on them. Ruining many of west residents activities, homes, backyards, front yards, and even some garage sales. At least 300 members were rush to St. Paul’s medical center for some treatment. Barrio leaders were informed que there won’t be any water for the next ten years. Furthermore, told us that this didn’t apply unless you have about 3500 feet of water hoes'. An investigation is being done on this watery matter.
This weekend the La casa de los old people, reported a bunch of their clients had gone AWOL and had no clues where they went and how they got out. About 30 relatives visited the center press hearing and were told que they were really worried about the bunch of old folks that were reported missing yesterday morning. “We have no clues to their whereabouts of these seniors’ citizens, said Dr. Frankenstern the director of the center. El constable and his barrio task forces have closed off all the city and county roads and have placed checkpoints to see if they can find them. Several family members have put together a posse to look for them in the woods and bars. If you have seen or noticed a bunch of old folks walking, talking, hiding or hiking, or even swimming, please contact el constable caden.
It’s rare, but does happen que some people in this world might just have a third limb. That is the case con Johnnie Palo the only vato in the hood with three arm. This week end he was offered the best paying job in the hood that is making snow cones. John Elwood the owner of the “snow shop in the hood” wanted a person with experiences and talented and worked fast. Once he interviewed Palo he knew this man was the talented person he had been looking for. Mr. Elwood is thinking on opening an additional part to his store, shining shoes.
Ok raza have a great tejano day.
Friday, June 10, 2011
barrio stock market report for 06102011
Barrio stock market for 06102011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, Tx. My name is Urbano Yosabatodo con today’s award winning barrio stock market report:
Las tortillas remain stable this week at $1.25 a package.
Las Empanadas also remain stable with no sign of them going up, ended the week at $.59 cent each.
Tamales are still at holiday prices, ended the week at $5.50 a dozen.
Beer not cheap anymore, ended the week at $4.59 a six pack.
La barbacoa de cabeza ended the week at an outrages price of $6.00 a pound.
Barrio want ads:
#52566 :two chicken, two ducks, two turkeys and two adult children for trade. We will take anything of value for all of the above. Even the two children ages of 43 and 35. House train and they don’t smoke nor drink.
#43000 :old pictures of people we don’t know. Make offer for them. If you know any of the people, than the price goes up.
#98734 : water cooler, old fashion air conditioner for sale. Both Weights about 200 pounds, must pick up.
Well that is it for today. Have a great tejano day.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, Tx. My name is Urbano Yosabatodo con today’s award winning barrio stock market report:
Las tortillas remain stable this week at $1.25 a package.
Las Empanadas also remain stable with no sign of them going up, ended the week at $.59 cent each.
Tamales are still at holiday prices, ended the week at $5.50 a dozen.
Beer not cheap anymore, ended the week at $4.59 a six pack.
La barbacoa de cabeza ended the week at an outrages price of $6.00 a pound.
Barrio want ads:
#52566 :two chicken, two ducks, two turkeys and two adult children for trade. We will take anything of value for all of the above. Even the two children ages of 43 and 35. House train and they don’t smoke nor drink.
#43000 :old pictures of people we don’t know. Make offer for them. If you know any of the people, than the price goes up.
#98734 : water cooler, old fashion air conditioner for sale. Both Weights about 200 pounds, must pick up.
Well that is it for today. Have a great tejano day.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
hejola report for 06092012
Hejola report for 06092012.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Maria la Bandia, Billy is on vacation, again. But for now here is our award winning barrio headline news:
Barrio man shots father after drinking barrio home brew.
Vato dies at St. Paul’s Medical center hall way.
And finally La senior Ben torres arrested for doing snow at his home.
Yesterday morning el senior Pablo Bernal was pronounced dead in the middle of St. Paul’s Medical center hallway, where he usually slept during the weekends. The spoke person for the medical center, said during a press hearing that Bernal was a regular at the center, especially during the weekends. Medical center Staff never really bother to check on him since he made it a tradition of lying on the floor for several hours and then he would leave. But for some reason he laid on the hall for about three days until staff determined que he was dead. Charges are pending.
Yesterday afternoon el constable was called to the corner of wells and Third Street where the body of the late compadre Ramon Garcia was found in the middle of the street. Witness say que his son Ramon Garcia known as tres was arrested on charges of killing his father after those witnesses saw him drink several gallons of their own Home Made barrio brew. The late Garcia was the owner of the only barrio beer company named Barrio Home Brew Beer. El constable claims que esta tres was temporary insane. Charges will be filed.
Ben cortez was arrested by mistake when the barrio task forces 666 raid his home when the owners of La Queen snow cone shop called the up to let them know que Ben was doing some snow in his home. When the task forces raided his home all the found was a cup off what seem like a snow cone. It seems that Ben did not pay for the snow cone and the owner of the La Queen reported Ben and told them que he was doing snow at his home. Charges were dropped and new charges will be filed against the La Queen for false information of a person and additional charges will be filed for selling snow cones without a permit. Pesse hejola.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Maria la Bandia, Billy is on vacation, again. But for now here is our award winning barrio headline news:
Barrio man shots father after drinking barrio home brew.
Vato dies at St. Paul’s Medical center hall way.
And finally La senior Ben torres arrested for doing snow at his home.
Yesterday morning el senior Pablo Bernal was pronounced dead in the middle of St. Paul’s Medical center hallway, where he usually slept during the weekends. The spoke person for the medical center, said during a press hearing that Bernal was a regular at the center, especially during the weekends. Medical center Staff never really bother to check on him since he made it a tradition of lying on the floor for several hours and then he would leave. But for some reason he laid on the hall for about three days until staff determined que he was dead. Charges are pending.
Yesterday afternoon el constable was called to the corner of wells and Third Street where the body of the late compadre Ramon Garcia was found in the middle of the street. Witness say que his son Ramon Garcia known as tres was arrested on charges of killing his father after those witnesses saw him drink several gallons of their own Home Made barrio brew. The late Garcia was the owner of the only barrio beer company named Barrio Home Brew Beer. El constable claims que esta tres was temporary insane. Charges will be filed.
Ben cortez was arrested by mistake when the barrio task forces 666 raid his home when the owners of La Queen snow cone shop called the up to let them know que Ben was doing some snow in his home. When the task forces raided his home all the found was a cup off what seem like a snow cone. It seems that Ben did not pay for the snow cone and the owner of the La Queen reported Ben and told them que he was doing snow at his home. Charges were dropped and new charges will be filed against the La Queen for false information of a person and additional charges will be filed for selling snow cones without a permit. Pesse hejola.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
hejola report for 06072012
Hejola report for 06072012.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, TX. Hello again, I am bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Summer program shut down for a few hours.
Ten more new lots added to summer pitch cotton program.
And ten new sponsors sign up.
El barrio young summer program where your kids can work during the summer pitching cotton was shut down for a few hours due to the heat index and warning. El Pancho Martinez director of half bail will travel told us que it was just too hot to have them kids in the backyard pitching cotton. No one was seriously injured during this warning time.
Ten more new lots have been added to this summer cotton program where you as a land owner can get subsidized for letting the city plant cotton in your backyard. It’s a summer activity that allows children to gain some respect towards adults and their peers, and not only has that but kept the kids busy during the summer.
And finally, ten new sponsors signed up today in helping the summer “let’s pitch cotton program” a success. It’s a program where the whole community can participant and keep our kids out of trouble. The new sponsors will provide water and free treats for the children and their sponsor
Ok raza get that cotton pitching butt up and do some good.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, TX. Hello again, I am bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Summer program shut down for a few hours.
Ten more new lots added to summer pitch cotton program.
And ten new sponsors sign up.
El barrio young summer program where your kids can work during the summer pitching cotton was shut down for a few hours due to the heat index and warning. El Pancho Martinez director of half bail will travel told us que it was just too hot to have them kids in the backyard pitching cotton. No one was seriously injured during this warning time.
Ten more new lots have been added to this summer cotton program where you as a land owner can get subsidized for letting the city plant cotton in your backyard. It’s a summer activity that allows children to gain some respect towards adults and their peers, and not only has that but kept the kids busy during the summer.
And finally, ten new sponsors signed up today in helping the summer “let’s pitch cotton program” a success. It’s a program where the whole community can participant and keep our kids out of trouble. The new sponsors will provide water and free treats for the children and their sponsor
Ok raza get that cotton pitching butt up and do some good.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
hejola reprot for 06022011
Hejola report for 06022011.
Cchwnn
Kingsville,tex. Hello again I am Bill Diaz with our award winning barrio headline news:
Joe aka Jose arrested for using his wrong name.
Ten new barrio members move out of the hood.
And finally English is our language.
Yesterday afternoon Mr. Pete Bob and history teacher was fired due to the fact que he made the children in his class speak English only, after the school district had agreed that bilingual students could speak their language, a policy that Bob never agreed too. The school district comments on the firing of Bob was that Bob told his students if you wanted to speak your language, go back from where you came from. Daniel Lopez one of the students that filed the complaint told us que he told Bob que he came from across the street.
Yesterday a weird thing happen, about ten new barrio members moved from the hood after being relocated only two months ago across the tracks. When asked why they were moving out of the hood, the reasons were all the same, it looked to hispanic. They wanted a better life and a better neighborhood.
Yesterday afternoon, Joe was arrested for matching another person with the same name. After the constable review his id. He determined que his name was Jose and was released due to wrong name. when asked why was he using the name Joe, he answer that was the name the school assigned because the teacher wanted to make more American.
Ok raza have a great American day and remember we love this country.
Cchwnn
Kingsville,tex. Hello again I am Bill Diaz with our award winning barrio headline news:
Joe aka Jose arrested for using his wrong name.
Ten new barrio members move out of the hood.
And finally English is our language.
Yesterday afternoon Mr. Pete Bob and history teacher was fired due to the fact que he made the children in his class speak English only, after the school district had agreed that bilingual students could speak their language, a policy that Bob never agreed too. The school district comments on the firing of Bob was that Bob told his students if you wanted to speak your language, go back from where you came from. Daniel Lopez one of the students that filed the complaint told us que he told Bob que he came from across the street.
Yesterday a weird thing happen, about ten new barrio members moved from the hood after being relocated only two months ago across the tracks. When asked why they were moving out of the hood, the reasons were all the same, it looked to hispanic. They wanted a better life and a better neighborhood.
Yesterday afternoon, Joe was arrested for matching another person with the same name. After the constable review his id. He determined que his name was Jose and was released due to wrong name. when asked why was he using the name Joe, he answer that was the name the school assigned because the teacher wanted to make more American.
Ok raza have a great American day and remember we love this country.
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