west side warrior news fro 04272018

 west side warrior news for 04272018.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx.  Now from the dark side of town here is Lewis Mojo Lewis.

Hello, how are we doing today?  Now that report from our side of the street, so let’s see what the headline news is for today:

Increase on injured firefighters,

KKK signs placed in front of white folks home.

And spy equipment stolen.

It was announced yesterday that los vatos loco barrio volunteer firefighters have had more injured in their fire station accidents last year than in putting out fires in the hood. El barrio fathers and mothers will discuss this matter at our next barrio meeting,  On how to cut down on the number of accidents? One step is not to allow los vatos volunteers to drink and you know what  during their stay overnight at the fire house center.

In other news this past weekend constable cadena y su staff were investigating the large number of cars vandals and damaged along con writing of “KKK” and various racial epithets on the houses of three Hispanic families, include a mix marrage. It seems que los vatos that did this damaged didn’t realize que the black hood didn’t start three blocks down the street, well at least not from here. The constable stated to us que  It had to be them folks from across the tracks. They just hate non white holidays says constable cadena.

And finally the U. S.  of A. Drug Enforcement Administration Barrio office from across the tracks made a public announcement yesterday at all our local churches that a valuable piece of spying technology had been stolen from the back sit of a U.S. of A Customs agency van car while at a service station. The main dude or the head of the office is asked the public’s help for its return, and offered a small reward, but refused to identify the object except to say that it was palm-sized. Said the supervisor, “For security reasons, I can’t say what it looked like”. But if you see it let us know and we will tell you if that is what we are looking for.

Well that is it for today, folks so be cool and hang low. I am lewis mojo lewis.

hejola report for 04262018

Hejola report for 04262018.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am bill diaz con today’s award winning  barrio headline news:

Two vato’s  arrested for stealing gas.

Two  vato’s escape while being transported.

And finally some darn good news.

Some good news hit the hood today , when the power went out. It seems that went things go wrong for some folks things go good for others, which was the case of two families. The power went off from the corner of third and wells up to the other corner of wells and third street. The power went off just as one family was getting ready to put their Christmas light on and the family from across the street were preparing to remove their Christmas lights. Both families were very disappointed que they found out que the whole west side had lost power due to the  fact que the two locations where folks paid their bills shut down and never really pay anyone’ s bills. An investigation will be conducted once the power comes back up.

Two vato’s better known as two vato’s were arrested yesterday for stealing gasoline from an abandon truck, left behind about ten years ago. While trying to steal the gas the two vato’s couldn’t even open the gas cap never the less steal any gas. Both men were arrested on the location and we transported to the other side of the tracks.

The two vato’s being transported to the jail house across the tracks ran out of gas. While the police man left the two in his squad car to see if he could find gas, the two vatos managed to escape from the car. A few hours later the two vatos were seen entering the barrio gay bar two tons of fun. No report of their whereabouts, the constable is looking for your help in finding this two men, please contact the constable If you have any information about them.

Ok raza have a great day.

hejola report for 04252018

Hejola report for 04252018.

Cchwnn:

Hello once again mi raza como estant todos, I am Bill Diaz. We have lots to cover this morning, so lets get to our barrio headline news:

Barrio education suffers serious wounds,

Pincha vato tries to rob barrio cellular phone shop.

And finally la commadre Susie arrested for hiring a hit man.

Yesterday we found out que el constable cadena y some real cops from across the tracks have come over to the Westside to arrest maria perez and charged her con hiring a hit man to help her try and kill six person, so she could steal a brick of cocaine. But in turn it turned out to be “barrios mama luz queso fresco cheese” .

According to el constable, ms. Perez had peeped inside this folks window and saw this large block of crubly, white, barrio-cuisine cheese on their kitchen table and thought it was a big pile of cocaine. The report says que she had plotted to return that evening and kill anyone in the home old enough to testify against her. pesse hejola.

In other news, Jimmy smithwick, a barrio educator, having return from the war with a paperweight he found there. Mr smithwick was hospitalized at the st. paul’s medical center here at the Westinghouse barrio mall with severe burns and shrapnel wounds, and lost part of his left hand, when he try to smash a cockroach with a his newly found paperweight on his desk. The some called paperweight was a 40 mm artillery shell, unknown to mr smithwick, was still alive. Mr smithwick was also charged with the endangerment of his students. Oh by the way mr smithwick was rushed to a real hospital after the folks at the st pauls medical center couldn’t do not for him here and didn’t have all the missing parts of his body.

And finally, el constable again is asking barrio members for its help in finding el vato who tried to burglarize the only barrio cellular phone shop sometime last night. The store owner Max soso Chonz, told us que the dude que whoa trya roba oura storea trieda toa shoota opena thea doorsa locka , buta ita seema que thea bulleta ricocheteda anda hita thea mana ina thea chesta, knockinga hima downa. Mr. chonz also told us que he was sure que the bullet likely did not break the skin but said que probablya startlinga anda painfula, alsoa quea thisa mana vomiteda ata thea scenea beforea hea fleda.  So the constable is asking anyone in the hood for information leading to who did this crime. There is a small reward being offered.

Well raza there you have it for today.

barrio stock market report for 04232018

Barrio stock market report for 04232018.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again there big spenders I am Urbano Yosabatodo. And now for our award winning stock market report:

Los tamales: the problem facing tamales is que we heard from our old tamale guy yesterday and he didn’t really look that good. He tells us que one of the major problems facing monetary barrio tamale makers is not our stock market but our stock market instability. Many of you barrio tamale makers are managing to take this task on making your own, instead of focusing on financial stability on those that depend on you buying their tamales. Tamales ended the week at $6.00 a dozen, down from last week.

Las tortillas, the declining increase of raza not making their own has increase the premium on homemade tortillas or better known as the private credit sector. Now you ask what is the difference in the two is that one is regulated by the government and the other is a credit worthy private makers, with no government intervention. The real economy damage here will happen this coming winter if we don’t regulate the homemakers and decline the number of tortillas they are making. If we do not limit the amount of tortillas we make at home, it could squeeze higher prices of tortillas for all of us non makers of tortillas. This could really damage the barrio economy. Tortillas ended the week at an all high price of $1.35 a package.

 Empanadas incorporated , held its annual convention and were able to outdo all the demonstrators que protested and caused all the riots and damage at our Westinghouse barrio mall this past weekend. Their concerns were that empanadas makers were not filling the inside of empanadas. In addition the local barrio community gardens groups will continue its efforts to provide those local empanada makers the vegetables and fruits need to make them. Las empanadas ended the week at $.89 each.

La barbacoa de cabasa, it was announced today que sometime next week the first batch of llama meat will be in our local barrio meat markets within two months. The few llama farmers in the barrio are real happy and are gearing up for this new beer market to hit the hood. Please note que llama is primarily used in the Andes and in Peru as a pack animal or for meat. The word "jerky" that we use today to refer to beef jerky, is one of the few words in our language originating from the Quechua language. "Ch'arki" is the name of the llama meat which was salted and sun-dried. The taste is somewhere between beef and lamb, though closer to beef. Many describe it as a lighter sweeter beef. La barbacoa de cavesa ended the week at $6.50 lb. a bit higher than last week.

Alcohol consummation report( better known as cheap beer report).

The change of this market has caused lots of problems for us here at our command post. It seems que los que love to drink wrote us some nasty email telling us to stop reporting the drinking problems we have in the hood. Hey you have to realize que It’s becoming common knowledge that the true addictive substance of alcohol is not alcohol itself but the acetaldehyde (AH) produced when we metabolize it. If acetaldehyde is not efficiently broken down into acetate some of the excess drifts to the brain and combines with serotonin and / or dopamine to produce the infamous Tetrahydrolsoqulnoline (THIQ). THIQ is extremely addictive and in brain biochemistry actually fits the receptor sites that our natural pain killers (beta-endorphins) and “feel good” (serotonin) neurotransmitters are supposed to occupy. This causes a chain of very undesirable events. Our brain becomes incapable of receiving serotonin because our receptors sites are telling what little is there that they are full, very full with what it thinks is serotonin and beta-endorphin. The process is referred to as down-regulation. This condition is also why it takes more and more alcohol over time to get you “feeling right” once you’ve been at it a while. Because of the flood of THIQ in our brains our receptor sites begin to say “enough” and closes down beta-endorphin receptor sites. If you can understand all this then you need a drink. Cheap beer ended the week at $3.65 a six pack.

Los taquitos: Well folks the new group in town is preparing to handle this issue. We are real concern que lots of small taco stands have shut down this year than years before on our side of the tracks. But have increased across the tracks, where a few chicanos y tejanos, y blacks live. The let me put the finger committee will be addressing this issue sometime this weekend. Los taquitios ended the week at $1.65 each.

The barrio want ads> si bro we have a chit load de cosas to sell:

Item 5842: used women underwear. Still got some elastic in them, Sizes from 15 to 23. . Make an offer.

Item 5847: almost new jogging shoes and shorts. Not sure what size, make offer.

Item 6842: ten chickens and two ducks for sale. Leftover from this year’s Easter sell. Good health, make offer. Will dress them for you at a small cost.

Item 7412: old 78 vinyl records, some in good conditions others need some freaking work. We have at least 78 records, and a old fashion record player. Make offer and will deliver within a 500 mile area. Chinga, I mean within a 5 mile area.

And finally a small report on the barrio realtor.

Ocean front property sold and move, one more time the OCEAN FRONT PROPERY MALL HAS BEE SOLD AND MOVED,,so stop calling about it. Ok thanks and have a nice barrio day.

hejola report for 04202018

hejolia report for 04202018

Cchwnn: hejola report for 04202009

Once again I am bill Diaz con this weeks barrio winning headline news, What the heck, now for our barrio headline news:

Barrio leaders crack down on child support for your real child.
One vato gets arrested on a scavenger hunt.
And finally a barrio parrot causes la commadre to file a divorce.

>Yesterday afternoon we learned que el parrot de Benito y Sara Gonzales has caused Sara to file for a divorce since she learned que her husband’s infidity when her parrot, peppito, imitating Benitos voice, continually cried out for some woman named “maria”. Pessa hejola. The family will go to court to see who will get to keep peppito.


>vato arrested:
Were involved in a barrio scavenger hunt, went over to the other side of the tracks trying to meet all the items on their list. They went over to ask if police officers would please help with the next item on their list and pose for a photograph of a cop eating a doughnut. El officers obliged but one of them recognized John boy Boyce from a recent felony warrant and was arrested on the spot.




>Yesterday afternoon a barrio justice of the peaces, passed a local rule que would not require hard-luck vatos who, believing they were biological fathers, and had agreed to child support, only to learn via a dna.cia.fbi. Test that they are not, but still were required to pay that support.
Well it wont happen anymore here in the hood says Christina Ochoa Morgan our newly elected justice of the peace on a ruling she made yesterday afternoon getting Juanito Paulito Politio off the hood from paying child support to his ex wife Juanita. Its seem que esta Juanito had originally agreed to support his new wife’s daughter, but the he and his wife divorced and the courts had ruled he must continue to support the girl even thought the wife has now married the vato who is the girls biological father. The court agreed to get him off the hook from paying child support but instead has demanded que Juanita pays her ex husband child support for the last six months. The family will appeal this ruling to an upper court.

Ok raza there you have it I am bill diaz from our command post here in Kingsville texas.

hejola report for 04192018

Hejolia report for 04192018.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx.

Hello friends how are we doing? I am Bill Diaz, But for now let’s get to our award winning headline news:

Two barro vato’s wanted to rob liquor store , but one shot himself and the other one was stabbed.

Ben torres arrested stealing and using stolen credit card.

And finally, vato arrested con Maria La Vandia doll obsession.

Since Maria la vandia released her 2008 Maria la vandia Barrio dolls, a vato named David Junior, has collected all seven models of Maria’s dolls. But this weekend David was arrested at one of the barrio malls after a mall police man spotted an array of rated x magazines, in his front seat of his car. Once the police searched the car, they found women’s underwear, and the entitle collection of naked Maria la vandia dolls all lined up on the back seat of his car. Furthermore, when they went to search his  trunk they found a bunch of Polaroid photos of all Maria la Vandia dolls naked and their heads cut off. Charges are pending.

How dumb can one person get? That is the case of Ben Torres who was arrested early Sunday morning after using a stolen barrio credit card in five different locations. First he used it at Go and stop store, he was asked to put his address , which he put his real address; than at the corner shop he adsend mindedly signed his own name on the credit ticket. And then at the westinghouse barrio mall, he used his real phone number on a credit card purchase he made at chuy’s sex toys for adults, and finally, he showed his real ID once he was asked at the Ocean front properties mall. Chingos de charges are pending.

And finally,It seems que more and more raza are trying to move on up the chart of higher income by attempting more armed robberies. That was the case con Juan y Juan Jr. attempted to rob again Billy’s boys liquor store at the end of third and wells street. When the whole thing was over it seems que juan jr. shot himself on the foot when he dropped the gun after he was surround by law dogs and Juan was stabbed in the right leg by the owner of the store. Both were men were arrested and charges are pending.

Oh well raza have a great day.

hejola report for 04172018

 Hejola report for 04172018

Cchwnn

Kingsville,tx, I am Bill Diaz con our award winning barrio headline news:

Several senior citizens were gun down con water guns.

Two arrested for making their own homemade fireworks.

And finally, la commadre has twins at the age of 67.

La commadre Maria Maria Maria, give birth to another set of twins this week. La commadre has 10 sets of twins already, along con with her 8 other children. After interviewing her she told this reporter que thank god she didn’t throw all her baby clothing away. Her husband, run down Manuel Soto told us que now he has completed his co ed softball team he always wanted.

Yesterday afternoon along con the constable and his barrio task force 666, and law dogs from across the tracks arrested los Garcia Brothers for having a large number of gun powder and so highly risky explosives. When asked what they expected to do with this dangerous stuff, they said que they were going to make their own fourth of july firework stand. Both were arrested and charged con some serious chit.

Yesterday afternoon marked one of the darkest days in the hood when 17 barrio senior citizens were gun down but a group of brown necks by water them down as the marched towards the free meal center. Yes says el constable que this old folks were all watered down and some fell on the ground and others fell onto the city streets avoiding to get hit by passing cars. Several young men and women were surrounded up for questioning but no charges have been filed.

Ok raza remember your business is my business and my business is none of your business

hejola report for 04162018

jola report for 04162018.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello once again y como estan todos? Hello I am bill Diaz and now let’s go live to our remote coverage from our primo y prima garage sale, y our correspondent veronica la Lebanon.

Si my amigos it’s been a long time since you have heard from me pero I have been undercover, you know wax on wax off!

I am not sure if our creator has mention to you que a few months ago I too graduated from el ojo barrio private school. And since the school promised that when you finish you have a job, well, there is where I have been con that job,

Anyhow let’s go our headline news from el primo y la prima garage sale located at the corner of wells and third street.:

Several new homes are being building where the old wells street was,

Several old homes are being knocked down on Wells Street, just in case,

And finally building permits are being question by real city officials.

Yesterday after noon a warrant was issued for our side of the tracks for BARRIO’S UNAUTHORIZED TAX COLLECTO (a position, please note must be willing to take a bite once in awhile, and as long he promise to do what the bite was about, really.) henry Alvarado Montana, age 56.

We are really not certain que the warrant says about mr montana, pero we heard que it might be que esta vato might have gone across the tracks to collect from some raza that moved over there, without the bit of the month. Somehow someone told them que the barrio tax, it didn’t count over here, so they called the cops.The police report says que etsa montana la puso el doddge and wang was gone in a second. So the real cops are looking for him over here to talk con el. We think it has to do con the building permits of all those new homes, which brings us to our next story,

The city has stopped all construction at south third and westside warriors street. It seems que since the city closed this street about twenty years ago; many of the old home owner’s relatives have declared the abandon city street, their front yard. The city and barrio officials are working on how they are going to convince these folks that the street is not part of their property and have to determine if they the city is going to have to remove some of the structures or just don’t do anything and leave things the way they are!

Oh but some good news, the city has just decided to get ready and knock down some old homes and make new room for those that are getting ready to be run off the city abandon street now them folks call their front yard.. pess hejola.

That’s the news and now let’s go to la prima y el primo.

El prim: buen thank you

La prim: me too,

Ok so tell us what we got going here at this week garage sale?

El prim: it’s really not a garage sale, es que we have lots of stuff que we find, and we buy and we trade and people gives us and if I see things in the street or in mid of the side walk I might just take it, basically I love dumpsters, So you can see que we have chingos de things.

La prim; we just want to let you know que we also have tamales for sale and a little deer meat y fresh llama meat, but don’t tell too many people porque I think they are looking for that poor little llama que got run over in the street que we found y…… con a bullet wound to the head, so we brought it home to see if we could bring it back to life.

Well la prima don’t worry. Anyhow thanks to both of you for sponsoring our remote broadcast the rest of the week except tomorrow, we will be live here at la prima y el primo garage during the week sales. Come one and come all, the only deals we lose dese el primo are the ones he don’t know about.. see you raza, and keep it  tejano.

hejola report for 04132018

Hejola report for 04132018.

Cchwnn

Kingsville, TX. Hello again I am David Duran con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Two old man get fired.

Tejano get together launch public service announcement.

And finally some good news.

As you might already know that “the rain in Spain doesn’t really stay in the plains”, a one act play written and produced by our own barrio author, Julio Moreno Gonzales Garza Garica, a recent barrio community college graduate.  Ben, is his nickname told us que he is very excited about this one act play que he was able to write and produce in 5 minutes. I love this idea and really hope que many of the barrio  resident come and watch the grand opening, the date has not been posted yet due to a few problems with finding a location to show it, he says.

Let me put the finger on you committee a well known Tejano group were very proud of the new public announcement that their group will help people do their income tax this year. Even if the dateline has pasted says the leader, Russell Rufus Redneck, we still have lots of seniors in the hood that can be added to your barrio income tax. If interested please read the fine print on the announcement.

Yesterday several old guys were fired from the Westinghouse barrio mall for going overboard with their welcome wagon service. You see the mall hires senior to help around the mall and well know just having old people around was a cool idea until yesterday when a few old guys took their job a bit too serious. The problem was when they tried to help a few young women in selecting a bathing suit for this coming summer. The odd part was when both men showed the women the g-stings they were both wearing. These caused a big uproar, and were reported to the mall management and we forced to leave the mall area. No word if they will be rehired.   

Ok raza have a great Tejano day.

westside warrior news network 04122018

Westside warrior news network for 004122018

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. What is happening hot lips, its lewis mojo lewis, with toda’ys barrio award winning headline news.

Soul brother I’ll be back arrested.

Leader of vato’s loco volunteer firefighter asked to move.

And finally barrio robber gets run over.

Byron Secrest Ruiz, 42, decided to run from his car, rather than be apprehended at the corner of third and wells when he ran a red blinking light. El constable, once a high school miler, 30 years ago today, chased him on foot. As the constable wandering around looking for Ruiz, Wally Ramon, a barrio milkman delivery man, walked by and got inside his delivery truck and drove off and ran over the body of Ruiz, who was level to the ground underneath the delivery truck. Mr. ruiz was rushed to the St. paul’s medical center and than across the tracks to a real hospital. Charges are pending.

It seems que el loco Arthur Flores, chief of the vato’s loco volunteer firefighters was asked to move himself and his wife and his seven dogs from the el barrio community center, where the volunteer are located or it was going to shut down the upstairs rooms where he had taken his residence. The chairman of el barrio community center told this reporter que we didn’t mind it for awhile, but it’s been years now and he said he would move out in a few days, seven years ago. There is a different between sleeping in the center and living in the center. Charges are pending.

In other news, It seems that little Joe Barrera just couldn’t take no for answer. That seemed to be the case when he tried to rob El Centro fruit stand Monday morning when the only employee, Pedro whatshisname, told little joe que they didn’t have any money till later in the day. Well no shit little Joe decided to come back around 5:p.m. when el constable was waiting for him. He was arrested for attempted robbery.

Well there you have it raza, we are on spring break at our back yard.

hejola report for 04112018

Hejola report for 04112018.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx.  Now from our command post here in Kingsville tx, our man david duran.

Now for todays headline news:

Barrio man sought on attempted robbery

Vato locos volunteer firefighters respond to 9 calls yesterday,

And a list of charges and arrest go down in the hood.

Yesterday,  a large of amount of law enforcement agencies and our own constable cadena assisted in rounding up the largest to year drug dealers and users.  The hood was shocked to see how many and who got picked up yesterday says a barrio residents. No way, shut up, there were cops all over the place and man were we scared, we closed the door and locked the window and put a sign on our front door that said “gone north to work”.

The following persons were either picked up and charged or messed up and picked up :

Rene Augustine, 22, of 781 West Pachuco lane was charged with possession of cocaine, second offense. Officers stopped the suspect for speeding and while searching the vehicle found a small baggie containing 0.2 grams of a white powder believed to be cocaine and by the way was on the list to be picked up.

Alice Martha  Gomez, 22,  430 West wells  St. was charged with possession of marijuana, second offense, at 12:30 a.m. Friday after she allegedly attempted to enter a nightclub on Westside  Street with three plastic bags containing 10 grams of a green leafy substance. Gomez was released from the other side of the tracks  Regional Detention Center on a $1,000 personal-recognizance bond Saturday. Police tell us que they had been watching her for sometime and did them a favor by getting busted.

Pablo  Delahand, 22, of 1300 nopal  St. was charged with assault and battery at 5 p.m. Friday of an police officer after they tried to serve him and his sister with  a warrant for their  arrest. But it seemed que  he and his sister got into an argument and he allegedly pushed his sister while the police were there and then punched office tellez on the mouth. Delahand  was released from the other side of the track Regional Detention Center on a $500 personal-recognizance bond Saturday, but the officers didn’t want to release him, due to the fact que his name was on the list also. His sister is being helded for questioning concerning a  robbery and being on that list.

and finally Kino jo  Morales, 22, of 1808 apartment B on wells and Lawson St. was charged with possession with intent to distribute crack cocaine, third offense, and possession with intent to distribute crack cocaine within one-half mile of a school or park, third offense, after officers spotted him and stopped him for making an improper turn onto wells  Street at 3:46 a.m. Sunday, just a half mile from his home. After failing to pull over for several blocks, the suspect ran after finally stopping the vehicle.

Constable cadena chased the suspect, who by the way was last years winner of the 3k fun run and allegedly observed him placing a plastic bottle on the ground by a flower pot. The bottle contained 3 grams of suspected crack cocaine. A search of the victim revealed 0.2 grams of suspected crack cocaine in a plastic bag in the front pocket of his pants.

Kino was arrested and booked and held for questioning .

In other news a 28 year old man living by himself on third and wells reported to constable cadena que a young woman by the name of Melissa knocked on his door around 9 p.m yesterday evening and asked him for a cigarette. When the man turned to get the cirgarette, the female suspect pushed him into the room, closed the doors, grabbed him around the neck and demanded money while reaching into the vicitm’s pockets. Melissa ran away after not finding any money.

El constable cadena is seeking your help in finding this woman by the name of Melissa. She is 5’2” and weights about 100 to 120 lbs and was wearing  false  blue eyes and false  blonde hair. And goes by the name of “MELI”.

Ok folks what ever you don’t answer the door.