exclusive interview con Jerry Lopex 2012

Exclusive interview con Jerry Lopez, 2012.

Cchwnn.

Las vegas, Nevada, hello raza, dang man it’s a heck of a long bicycle ride over here to las vegas! Have you ever since so many Elivs’s .man anyhow we are and doing an exclusive interview con Jerry Lopez. And now for that interview:

Sc: hello sir can you give me a hand off this bicycle sir?

Jl:  sure big girl.

Sc:: how long have you been in the music business?

 

Jl:: I've been singing since the age of 4, and psuing instruments since I was 6. Making records since I was 6, so I guess you'd say I've been in the biz all my life.

 

SC: how difficult is it to record a cd and the selection of song on that?

JL;  the difficulty in recording a cd depends on many factors. If I'm working with pros, it's easy and lots of fun. Even in the best situations, the process is long and tedious, but that's the behind the scenes stuff. It's what I love to do.

SC; this new release you have, seems to have worked for you, can you comment on that for us please?

Jl: The new release of Mis Raises is a labor of love. A tribute to my father who wrote the songs. He's in his mid 80's and I wanted to do this for him before he is gone. The public seems to love it and I couldn't be happier about it.

 

SC: how difficult is it for doing a life performance, does it require the same band that helped you record the studio cd ?

Jl: I just performed one of the songs at the Tejano Music Awards show in San Antonio and was backed by the band AVIZO. They sounded great and none of them were on the cd. So, no it does not require the same musicians that recorded the cd, just GOOD musicians.

 

SC; do you think que la onda Tejana is dying?

JL; I don't think la Onda is dying, but it has lost a lot of ground in the last couple do decades. I noticed at the Tejano awards show that there was very little of the music I relate with the genre. But, times change.

Sc; off all the performances you have done is there one that still stands outs?

Jl: Of all the performances I've done, the one that stands out is when I was playing guitar and singing with Ricky Martin and we played to 70,000 people in Korea. There are many others, but that one was remarkable.

 

Sc: wow, if given the chance to speak with a group of young what encouraging words would you use?

Jl: To the youngsters out there, don't give up, don't give up, don't give up! And practice and hone your skills. Learn to read music fluently, jam with older more experienced musicians, take chances, travel and meet other musicians, open your mind and ears!

 

Sc; and now Jerry what would you like to tell you fan base from all over the world?

jL;

To the fans out there, thanks so much for the support. Please continue to support live music and live musicians.

 

sc; ok sir I have to head back to tejas now can you help me on this  bicycle and point to texas?

Jl: Texas is "thataway"....... Adios

Hejolia report for 08302012.

 

Hello again como estan todos, I am bill diaz. Well it’s Thursday, and we are still kicking. This coming weekend is sand bag weekend. It hasn’t rain in sometime and we just have that gut feeling que its going to rain cats and dogs soon or cumbias and boleros . So what the hood plans on doing is gather all the barrio members and we starting filling sand bags for all the lower barrio homes, just in case. Hejola it pays to be ready.

 

Now for the headline barrio news;

 

Barrio prepare for big rain,

Two arrested for stealing,

And la commadre boxing might be cancelled.

 

 

Yesterday afternoon el barrio commissioner mr. choy told us que la commadre boxing might not happen till a few weeks from this coming weekend. The reasons are several but were not discussed in public. We feel que the mall is checking con su insurance to make sure que if someone gets hurt que they won’t be sued later.

 

In other news two vatos were arrested early Sunday morning the future site of el barrio conjunto enchanted land. The two were trying to steal some used wood and nails that were being used in building the enchanted land. The constable who arrested estos tell us que charges will be filed against this two dudes.

 

And finally the whole barrio is bracing its self for the rain to come. It was announced yesterday by our own barrio weatherman St. Juan norterno gave us the weather forecast for the next two months, and maybe sometime around 2033, and we do we have rain coming. With this in mind the whole hood has being doing its sand bag thing.

 

Ok raza ther you have it for today. I am bill diaz and have a great tejano day.

westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for 08292012

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter 08292012.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Once again I am Gloria Guerra con

Today’s mall newsletter. Well the owners and myself,

Having been thinking about re-opening our conjunto enchanted

Dance land this coming sept. more on that con our own politico

General Fideo vermicelli.

Bueno Gloria the idea is back, having had the first conjunto enchanted dance land was an experience before and re-opening the dance land and camping grounds could bring people back to the mall. As a matter of fact Gloria, re-opening the camping ground here at the mall is a great idea. Now not only can shopper spend all day at the mall, they can now camp out at the mall, fabulous idea.

Ok general we will stay in touch, now let’s go con our man in the street Frankie tuxedo zuniga con his report.

Well Gloria we are planning for the biggest fun run in el barrio this weekend. The fun run will be for a 10 k run in the hood, the route will cover major barrio areas and sites. It’s a great and safe route, so go and put your jogging shoes and dancing boots and hit the hood.

Ok Frankie great job.  Well and finally lets go con our own maria la vandia con a few words about clumbia  666666666666!

Look ladies it’s not every day  you love your man like you use too,is cumbia…. Why not go and put that little outfit he gave you some time ago and slip right into his tv reviewing area and make his day. I know it fits a bit tight but who cares. I know que el compadre will really appreciate it. And girls don’t argue this weekend con el compadre, just make his day, if possible, if not call clummbia 6666 for some bull shit.

Ok thanks maria for those loving words, well folks got to go

Cchwnn: hejola report for 08272012.

 

Hello again, y como estan todos. Well I am bill Diaz and was it a crazy weekend. You know youth baseball can be bad for our health and also very dangerous. Now let’s get down to our barrio headline news:

 

Several arrested at youth t-ball game.

Two coaches strap it on at another t-ball game,

And domestic problems hamper youth t-ball games.

 

It seems que el commpadre just can’t get over la commander dating another vato. Yesterday afternoon at our barrio youth t-ball game el compadre hector Cantu, attacked el primo George g cantu after he saw his ex wife to be con esta george. Some how and from some where el commpadre must have found a tee-ball stand and he hit el primo hector over the head with it , and with the same swing he managed to knock out la commadre also.

 

Before he, el commpadre knew it, there was at least seven parents on our commadre who suffered several blows to his head an some cuts and bruises on his legs and hits from all the folks wanting to kick his rear end. Before you know they had el commpadre pinned down on the third base line waiting to for the cops to arrived. After it was over, el commpadre was rushed to el hospital where he was being observe after the pre medics claimed que he also suffered a heart attack. El constable cadena will not file charges against el compadre claiming que he already is suffered enough. Oh by the way la commadre was taken to our st. paul’s medical center for observation.

 

At the same time at another field its seems que you cant put two coaches together and coach one team. Well that’s the case of this two vatos trying to save money on the entry fee. Joe perez y martin Cruz agreed to put both of their seasonal teams together to make one team for this special tournment. Well for some reason or another at the bottom of the third inning out of nowhere the umpire had to call time and the cops due to the fact  que mr perez y mr cruz were strapping it on inside the dug out. Before things got under control at least 15 parents had to jump in and stop the fight inside the dugout. By the time el constable cadena could answer the call,  the fight had already been broken up and some of the parents had left the field with there children. The two coaches were picked up this morning and were arrested for fighting at a public park. Oh by the way both coaches have been removed and banned for coaching again tball for at least five long years.

 

And finally, two parents were arrested after one parents was yelling at another parent from the bleachers. Befoe you knew it, the both were strapping it on underneath the bleachers. While several parents were screaming and yelling at them to stop. Before anyone knew there were people throwing  rocks and stuff at both parents. Again el constable cadena did not make it on time to stop this fight. Both parents were restrained until el constable got there and were arrested.

 

Ok raza there you have it.

Barrio hejola report for 08222012.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx. Hello again mi raza como estan, I am bill diaz con todays award winning hejola report.  But first of all whats up with all this rain, it just tell me we might just get that big one this year. And now for that award winning headline news.

 

Fire smoke alarms drive back in the hood,

Three barrio members get honored.

And another barrio study looking for you.

 

 

 

 

El primo’s son matthew Molina a graduate student at our local college has asked us to ask you barrio members if anyone was interested in a new study of obesity he is conducting. An was looking for  large people he can test on and hoping to get a larger test groups results so his study can mean something. So if you are a large person wanting to make a large impact and one of the larger test groups please write to us a cchwnn@netscape.net.

 

Three barrio members were honored last night at the local bingo house on the heroic effort they did in saving the lives of several old folks. Los tress reyes  brothers, harpoon, chucon, y chingo we all honor on how the bravely they entered a burning home and save the older couple from burning, oh besides them ripping off a few things, the constable decided not to file charges against them. Dang it must be good to be a crack hea!!!.

 

And finally, its back and our loco volunteer firefighters will be out in the street this weekend looking for spare changes in order to purchase smoke alarms for every barrio home. They had almost reached their goal last year but that one party really messed it up in which the ate about 20 packs of instant popcorn.

 

Oh  if you hadn’t realize that our locos had decided several years ago that instant jiffy popcorn packages were being used as smoke alarms. You see we fiqure que if the popping don’t wake your ass up the smell would. So if you see those vatos at the corner of your barrio street, hey go ahead an drop a few coins and save a life.

 

Well there you have it folks I am bill diaz an have a great day.

hejola report for 08212012

Hejolareport for 01052012.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,hello again I am bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Why dopeople smell like chit survey?
Barriopeople arrested for protesting.
And finally vato run over for saving ahelpless doggy.

Yesterdayafternoon a graduate student for our local barrio community college was allowedto share his research he did this past fall semester on why do people smelllike chit survey. Paul Lee Garza Mendez Gonzales told us que it was one of hismost exciting things he had done in his life time in doing this survey. Hereare some of his findings:
Why dopeople smell like chit?
From 100responds the following was recorded:
45 answershad chitty underwear.
20 answer,had dirty diapers.
10 answer,did bath right.
8 answer, just plain old, that’s how old peoplesmell like.
6 answer,didn’t have a clue.
And 11answer that they didn’t give chit.
We are realproud of our barrio students and their efforts to get a better and highereducation.
El constablecadena and his barrio 666 task force, were called upon yesterday afternoon toour only barrio radio station, kkkQk “ que te importa radio”. When they arrivedthey found at least 5 tejanos pissed off, 2 gringos pissed off, and 3 blackswere also pissed off. Once the constable warned them a few times to leave the premise, he took iton his own to remove them by force when they refused. All of the protestor werehaul off to jail and charged. Oh by the way we really nice got word on why theywere protesting but one person dress like a tejano cowboy clown thought thatthey were giving out cheese, was the reason he was in line. He was releasedwith no crime. A few points about that radio station kkkqk has a listeningdistance of about three blocks…

And finally,Yesterday morning the hood was real sad due to the fact que Juan Jr. gone hisbutt run over for doing a good deed. It seems that the single elder woman wholives across the street from Jr. saw her chasing her untrained dog run wildinto oncoming traffic. He felt que he could stop traffic as that darn dogfinally listened and headed back home from across the street without lookingboth ways. When jr. saw that, he quickly responds and got between the dog andan oncoming car. It seems that the driver of the car didn’t see Jr, but insteadavoided hitting the little doggy and struck jr. instead. El constable tells usque jr. has been taken to st.paul’s medical center at the mall once all hisbody pairs were found and hoping que the medical center can put him back togetheragain. Oh by the way there is a reward for the missing dog, and large rewardfor the name of the driver that ran his ass over.
Ok raza hangin there and if it don’t hang you must not be passed 48 years old.

BARRIO NEWS NETWORK CON MARIA LA VANDIA.

08202012.

Hello and how are you doing to day way down there in California, where you stil find l gold in them streets. Now for our daily news :

Starting tomorrow I will go undercover to see why some many of us hate each other. Why? Do that you ask? Well it just don’t seem right that so many of us chicanos bad slash each other. And you know I am dang tired of that. So that is my future study en our hood.

In other news, it seems que los vatos at comedy central have taken over the news media. It seems que esa vato John Stweard has proposed to end the war other there. He says que the root cause of these problems is institutional segregtion de tatos over there. If all involved groups had equal access to the city and all of its opportunities, I think the situation would be much better maybe in lala land. Jerusalem has so much potential as a symbol for how different types of people can live in harmony, even more so than the United States. Many Americans pride themselves on that, I think that the people of Jerusalem can too well if not maybe here in our hood.

And finally as you might have already heard que we are going to court against our creator Daniel. Poor guy has taken a beating on that pocho website, pero he has balls of steel and I wish him luck con su pincha cchwnn. I am maria la vandia con la nueva onda in barrio news.

barrio stick market for 08172012

Barrio stock market for 08172012.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx. Ola como estan I am Urbano yosabatodo con this weeks award winning barrio stock market report. Well if things weren’t bad already. Barrio stock market has been on brown alert for the pass two weeks due to the fact que muchos de los stores in the hood like to raise the price on shit right before the holidays. You see muchos de los stores in the hood don’t have too much over head but do have chingos de bills that are not related to the business. Anyway tis a time to be jolly and holly and happy and now is the time to layaway for that xmas. .

  So lets all hold hands an get in debt so we all can have some major ass reason why we should work all next year for.  Have  a great tejano day, and now for that award winning barrio stock market report :

>Los taquitos up ten cents from last week, ended the week at $1.35 each coffee is extra.

>Los  tamales are on a steady increasing , which we noticed a few weeks ago, ended the week at $6.25 a dozen.

>Las tortillas, also were up this week with an increase of at least 25 percent from last week, ended the week at $1.65 a pack of twelve.

^ la barbacoa de caberas remained stable this week after news que las llama farms were going to delay their product, ended the week at $5.50 a lb.

Ø Las empanadas are on a roll now that the holidays are around the corner and have takened an increase ending the week at $.89  each.

Barrio want ads:

45256 item:  ten used cowboy boots used by famous tejano singers. Name one and might have used them. Make offer for the whole lot of boots.

65824 item: used playboy books and penthouse books some pages are stuck but can still see pictures, make offer for all twenty books.

56235 item: six g stings used by famous women in our life , range from small to xxx large. Nice girls make offer.

3256 item: used car tires only flat in the bottom, might be good not sure make offer. Sizes 14.15, and 10.

54136 item: used house shoes and used silver ware still shine might need so cleaning but besides that spoons still work. Make offer.

BARRIO REALTOR REPORT:

Ok we just got some wind from a man that has lots of hot air for sale. He was not sure if the wind was coming down hill or up hill , but did say que we could purchases some of that hot air. This hot air lot is located at a corner place across the street from that crack house. Both the crack heads and the owners are hoping que one of them will give in, so are we. The constable cadena an his barrio force 666 are on hand just in case shit breaks out. Pesse hejola.

Ok raza there you have it for today, I am urbano yosabatodo, and have a great tejano day .

westside warrior news network 08162012

Westside warrior news network 08162012.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx.  Yo, lewis mojo lewis here with our Westside warrior news network award winning headline news. we believe it or not brothers and sisters we too have join the search on who  shot our friend and award winner panzone caliente. It seems that we are all at risk letting that gang run free here in the hood. But now let’s get to our headline news:

and finally Barrio Blackman with broken leg and a broken arm arrested and then released for yelling at passersby,

Yesterday afternoon around 4:00pm constable cadena was called over to a woman whose name is being withheld (Dora Jones Jaugqer) but lives at 420 west Richard to answer the call of someone had broken into her apartment and was scared to go in it. Once the constable got there both Ms Jones Jaugqer and the constable entered the apartment, a man was seen fleeing the apartment through a back bedroom window. Both the lady y el constable were not able to identify the man but was seen by at least 30 folks who had gathered outside her apartment to see what was going on.

The un-identify woman (Dora Jones jaugqer) told the constable que a bunch of her stuff; her safe deposit box key and three dollars of quarters were taken. The woman said que all she wanted back was the key and he could keep her stuff and the quarters for his troubles, but wanted to be left alone. Police are again asking for your help in finding this person.

At about 12am this morning the police from across the tracks contacted constable cadena que they were chasing a big orange 18-passenger van onto our side of the tracks and needed his assistance. Once both police units were able to surround the big orange 18-passenger van, the driver jumped from the van and hauling ass across the street into the Westinghouse barrio mall. The police wanted to ticket the man for reckless driving and avoiding arrest.

The police from both sides of the tracks are needed your assistance in finding this black man. He is described as black male, 5’10” tall and weights about 230 lbs and was wearing baggy black pants with red underwear and a white muscle shirt, If anyone has an idea of the whereabouts of this  man please call your local barrio constable.

And finally a black man with a broken left hand and broken right leg was asked to leave the Westinghouse barrio mall area due to the fact que he was yelling and screaming at people driving by. When asked why he was doing that, he refused to answer. Constable cadena did pick him up and dropped him off several blocks away from the mall area. The man continued to yell and scream at cars but was not arrested since no one else had complaint about his actions.

Well there you have it folks, from our darkest side I am lewis mojo lewis, have a great tejano day.

paris del helles daily for 03132007

Paris del helles daily for 03132007.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Heaveno once again raza.
Today is a very special day for us. We have a report from our French correspondent for the “ PARIS DEL HELLES DAILY” Francisco Delgado De Gaulle. Well it’s that time again, now for the headline news for today:

Vato staggering along west Richard, local residents call constables office.

Homeless family asked to more, no camping allowed inside the city barrio limits.

La commadre de la commadre hit by truck.

And finally from our French correspondent Francisco Delgado del Gaulle, with the story que a man alleged that a storeowner threatened him with a weapon.


Last night los vatos locos volunteer firefighters were called on an 811 call. Its seems que la commadre Susana, call 811 after her commadre GIGI got hit by a passing truck while she stood in the middle of the street. Before the vatos could get there it seems que la commadre managed to get up and she got her self-checked into the hospital. But before constable cadena could get there, it seems que la commadre had already checked herself out of the hospital. The constable report stated que the truck was not damage.

Earlier this morning a barrio resident living at the 300 west Richard st. call the constable cadena office wanting to report que a vato had just passed her home and he seemed to be staggering. Once the constable got there it seems que he had already spoken to this dude twice this evening. Constable cadena stated que he had already determined que esta vato was not intoxicated.

And a police unit from across the tracks, stopped an inspected a car that was parked in a no parking zone. It seems que this people were napping in their car on third and wells street. Well somehow or another this car somehow qualified as a campers the police report indicated. And since this side of town had already passed a new municipal code, outlawing no camping in the hood. The people were asked to move on or be hauled and tow to jail.

Now from Paris France here is Francisco Delgado del Gaulle, (for translation visit altavista fish)

Bonjour le raza de mille, hier à notre magasin faisant le coin, police de Paris se sont appelés pour interroger le propriétaire du magasin qui a allégué tiré un pistolet sur un client. Le que par propriétaire du magasin que le client n'a pas voulu laisser un client féminin seul. Après lui avoir demandé plusieurs fois, j'ai dû tirer le pistolet hors de ai dit le propriétaire du magasin, et dis ce client de partir. La police ne classera pas des frais contre le propriétaire du magasin, mais a été donnée une amende pour ne pas avoir une tenir compte d'elle. De nouveau à vous Alcardio.


Thank you Francisco. Well there you have it for today, I am alcardio samudio, and have a great day.

hejola report for 08142012

Hejola report for 08142012.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello once again I am bill diaz con this weeks hejola award winning barrio headline news,

orta way arrested for robbery.

billy Barron wanted for criminal domestic violence.

And finally ten vato’s get arrested at conjunto dance.

Last night was a revised of Monday nites big bad ass dances here in the hood. Everything seemed to be going alright until so guys decided to dance con las commadres while los compadres were taking a smoke break. Well when they came back an noticed que las tres commadres were dances con a few mojados, y otras vatos, chingo de chingaso were laid and ten raza were arrested including but not limited to a few commadres..

Yesterday afternoon el constable was called to the 710 west Richard regarding bill barron. It seems que when el constable got to that address, Sally wally Barron Canales Diaz, was waiting for him to file a complaint against her husband Bill. It seems que sally had just washed her hair right before el constable got to her home. The reports says que Bill argued with his wife sally, because sally had not cooked anything for dinner.

Well it seems que when she began cooking in their very small kitchen, billy also started making spaghetti while eating crackers y some squeeze cheese. Well while they argued inside that small kitchen, billy boy squeezed cheese on the kitchen floor. So sally went outside and squeezed some cheese on his brand new truck. Now he came back and squeezed some cheese in her hair before fleeting in his brand new truck. El constable is asking el barrio, for help in solving this complaint. If you have seen or heard from this billy barron please contact the constables office. A small cheese reward is being offered.

And finally El constable cadena y a bunch of el ojo barrio private eyes barrio security force666, arrested Jose Molina for robbery of a barrio taco stand located at the corner of third and west wells. The law dogs learned who the vato was after a few witnesses saw him go over to the barrio cellular phone center and pay his bill located a few blocks down the street.

Well there you have it for today.

hejola report for 08132012

Hejola report for 08132012.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Commadre next door fills complaint.

Barrio resident shot.

And finally, barrio man arrested for prank public announcement.

This past Saturday night around 12 midnight, Johnny homeboy, somehow hold of the barrio public address system and as a prank, announced the following: please note that all Hispanic and Tejano residents need to leave the hood now. This was announced at least ten times until the whole hood got up and started the race out of the hood, causing major problems con traffic and the safety of its residents.  Within a few hours Johnny homboy had been arrested and charged con harassment and bias intimidation charges. The barrio members had been thinking about filing a law suit against the city and county.  But the constable told us que it would be a waste of time, since Johnny hadn’t taken his medication for several weeks and was in a stage of severe and disabling stage and did admit that he had done lots of psychological harm to many in the hood.

Yesterday el constable was called to the corner of third and wells to answer a call that a man had been shot. When the constable got there he noticed a man sitting on the corner with a gunshot to his leg. The barrio man told el constable que his wife had shot him on the leg just to see how it felt. His wife was relented, finally, and fired a .22 caliber rifle shot to the man’s leg. No charges will be filed and he is expected to make a full recovery.

El compadre Juan Torres was arrested and charged with aggravated burglary in the hood.  It seems que la commadre who lived next door returned from her vacation and discovered that chingos of her stuff were missing, so were petty to the more expensive were missing from her home.  It seemed que Mr. Torres felt secure enough to be wearing some of her clothing, in public. After la commadre saw him walking around in the back yard with some of her clothing she called el constable to come a see from himself.

Ok raza time to go. Have a great Tejano day.

barrio stock market report for 08102012

Barrio stock market report for 08102012

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx . once again I am urbano yosabatodo, con this week’s barrio stock market. 

The bottom line folks things are more predicted to go up than down. Lets just take a look at the price of corn this year. Base on our info we found out que the price has gone up a lot this year. An of course we know why? Well one reason is that large demand for ethanol fuel made from corn has pushed the grain to its highest price in a decade.  Which of course means that we can expect a reduction on wheat and soybean plantings in the coming year’s , likely resulting in higher flour and meal prices. Huh.

If  I were you, I would buy a big ass freezer so I can buy a whole calf and butch it up and store it for awhile. It’s the only way if you love me. And that price is about .85 cent a pound at the slaughter house. Chinga.

Enough with the bad news lets get to our stock market report:

>Los taquitos up ten cents from last week, ended the week at $1.35 each coffee is extra.

>Los  tamales are on a steady increase, which we noticed a few weeks ago, but took a dive this week, ended the week at $5.50 a dozen.

>Las tortillas, remain pretty stable for now but predicted to go up on price, tortillas $1.50 a pack of twelve. Think corn tortillas?

< la barbacoa de caberas remained stable, ended the week at bit lower, $6.00 a lb.

And that cheap beer, as a matter of fact went down a bit to a low time low of $3.50 a six pack.

Barrio want ads:

H4521: used shoes all sizes from 8 to 12 make offer. Must buy the whole lot.

H34563: back yard property for sale, includes the swing, pool, flower garden, and some vases. Make offer. Wife left me no need for the backyard anymore.

H4320: 10 raddits, 5 chickens, 2 turkeys for sale, make offer. All are still in good conditions. Left over from this years and last years Easter presents.

H9087: womens clothing for sale.

H6509: mens clothing for sale.

H7890 3:  gay guys clothing for sale.chinga..

Barrio realtor report:

We just got wind of some hot air from over at third street. There are three lots for sale, make best offer and would trade for other land or cars or what ever you might have.

Well folks there you have for todays barrio stock market.

hejola report for 08092012

Howdy hejola report for 08092012.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Howdy razza how are we doing, I am country pancho con today’s award winning barrio headline news. But for now folks let’s keep our prayer for those at war and overseas. Now let’s get to that award winning headline news:

 barrio parrot causes la commadre to file a divorce.

El primo Rudy B. Acosta injured at work drunk,

And finally, maria la vandia gets sued.

 Our creator has gone and done it. He is going to take maria la vandia a former employee and barrio report to court. It seems que maria has gone to work for a new barrio weekly news services. Our creator tells us que maria is still under contract and has not ended her term here con cchwnn.  A court date is set for august sometime 2033.  Daniel our creator is really pissed and hope que he can write himself out of this one.

El primo Rudy b. Acosta endured about 45 seconds of excruciating pain a few days ago at the new construction area near the new barrio flea market. It seems que esta vato had taken a few drinks for lunch and was assigned to drive a small bobcat vehicle that afternoon.  Well  while mr. Acosta was attempting to shut off that small tractor, , he  accidentally stepped on the floor lever that raises and  lowers the vehicle’s front bucket. Unfortunately, he did all this at the same time.

Now mr Acosta, with one foot and his body’s weight on the lower lever, had no leverage to stop the bucket, which at that moment moved, trapping his head and his other leg. El primo buddy morgan, rescued him, resulting with many lost teeth and the need for at least one hundred stitches to his used to be handsome face. He was taken to st. paul’s medical center at the Westinghouse barrio mall for observation.

and finally, Yesterday afternoon we learned que el parrot de Benito y Sara Gonzales has caused Sara to file for a divorce since she learned que her husband’s infinity when her parrot, peppito, imitating Benitos voice, continually cried out for some woman named “maria”. Pessa hejola. The family will go to court to see who will get to keep peppito.

Well there you have it folks, have a great Tejano day and be looking for our new cd release “ come down con country pancho and county Leroy.

hejola report for 08082012

hejolioa report for 08082012.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Now from our command post here is David Duran,

como estan mi amigo, I am David Duran.

Now con el headline news:

Internet becoming addicted for barrio members,

“Money can buy happiness con mi homme ” results of barrio study,

and barrio farm animal still causing problems,

Constable cadena responded to a barrio  motorist's call in   assist them on freeing  a chicken that had flown into a car and become tangled in its windshield wipers . And constable cadena was again was called to the home of los martinez in which they wanted to report que 50 pigeons had been stolen or flown away. It seems que at least 7 of the pigeons had been killed by passing motorist . It is very important que all the folks in the hood need to move their farm animal out of the city limits.

Yesterday afternoon Maria Mary Jane Gomez Garcia Gonzales announced her new book called “money can buy happiness”.

An econometric study of "happiness" found that if a barrio member would have a successful marriage it should brings such a level of joy that those without it would need an additional $10,000 to compensate.  She also conclude que Money can buy happiness (but each unit of it is very expensive);by increasing the frequency of sex con el compadre or commadre from monthly to at least weekly this would bring the same happiness as a $500 raise; and those who must buy their sex are the least happy of all, Especially at $50.00 a shot. Wow.

And finally many barrio men and barrio women from the hood have recently have become "addicted" to the Internet and longed for their computers. Said the official, Benny Goodman, "For people who play (Internet) games all night and don't have any friends, don't have any hobbies, and some don’t even come work anymore, and when they do it’s a very big shock, having to work con other people.

There you have it folks. Have a good day, I am David Duran con el cchwnn barrio news.

hejola report for 08072012

Hejola report for 08070212.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hey raza como estan todos. I am bill diaz and We are back and alive once again. It’s been a long time since we came back live. Now for our award winning barrio headline news:

Two barrio groups cause concern for el constable cadena.

Barrio woman found guilty after she was her own  lawyer.

And finally a vato tries to kill himself.

Some  barrio feels very fortunate que they  have two very dependable groups of dedicated barrio volunteers caretakers for reducing crime in our hood. But not here in our hood, we have two such groups and they hate each other.

According to our police records submitted by el constable cadena,

“ let me put the finger on you committee” and “ el barrio investor group”  have spread nasty rumors about each other, compete ruthlessly and resist mediation more fiercely that any other social groups to be found in the whole county. It is reported que both groups have gangs and have committed vandalism in order to embarrass the other group. The origin of the feud appears to have started a few months ago when one group called the i.n.s.  on them. According to el constable there is no peace in sight.

In other news la commadre Laura Silva an eccentric tried to be her own lawyer was convicted on stealing twelve packs of tortillas. Her only witness was her died husband, where she spend two days on the witness stand as both questioner and witness in which justice of the peace allowed her to act as her deep-voiced husband, as she re-created their conversations. She also told the jury que she was a psychic. The jury and the judge found it not very funny. She will spend 30 days in county jail and some time at the lala farm for observation.

And finally things didn’t work out for el compadre jose Jimenez, after attempted suicide by tying a rope around his neck and the other end to a  telephone pole and then rode off on his bicycle. However the rope quickly broke, dooming his fifth suicide attempt this year. The impact however jarred him from his bike, causing him to fall off it and  breaking his two legs and his left arm. Last report is that he won’t be attempting any suicide anytime soon, since he won’t be able to walk for a few months.

Well raza there you have it for todays hejola report. I am bill diaz from our command post here in sunny Kingsville, texas and come home vato e..t.. no place like home.. gt.

hejola report for 08062012

Hejola report for 08062012

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Once again I am bill diaz con todays award winning barrio headline news.

la commadre Susie arrested for hiring a hit man.

Barrio prepares to open restrooms to transsexual.

And finally barrio constable cadena shots vato.

Late last night el constable cadena y several of el ojo barrio private school students tried to serve an arrest warrant for suspicion of gambling at the home of Henry p. Garcia.  When the constable knocked on the door, it seemed que everyone in the house being to run outside the house knocking down the constable and several of his so call swat team. In his efforts to get up el constable pulled his gun, Mr. Garcia tipped over and fell right besides el constable. Now el constable gets up and pulled his gun out and was reported in saying “ Uh-uh. I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you got to ask yourself one question: do I feel lucky. Well, do you punk?
Mr. Garcia is reported to have said “who you calling punk punk”. Well somehow el constable accidentally shot the unarmed Garcia. El constable says que no charges will be filed against him but for sure against Mr. Garcia and the other ten vatos who were also arrested at the same raid. Oh by the way Mr. Garcia was rushed to st. pauls medical center for observation.

If things weren’t bad enough for those vatos who dress like la commadre , it seems que happy days are here again. This week a justice of the peace has accepted a complaint from David Lopez Little, who by the way was Mr. gay vato Kingsville for 2006. Mr. Lopez known for dressing like a woman has been arrested several times for using women’s bathrooms. The judgment allows men and even women who dress up the opposite to use public bathrooms based on how they are dressed without getting into trouble. A special bathroom will have to be building at all public places lab “what ever you are dressed like”. Many shop owners were worried que they might not be able to afford to build an extra bathroom.

Yesterday we found out que el constable cadena y some real cops from across the tracks have come over to the Westside to arrest maria perez and charged her con hiring a hit man to help her try and kill six person, so she could steal a brick of cocaine. But in turn it turned out to be “barrios mama luz queso fresco cheese”. According to el constable, ms. Perez had peeped inside this folks window and saw this large block of crubly, white, barrio-cuisine cheese on their kitchen table and thought it was a big pile of cocaine. The report says que she had plotted to return that evening and kill anyone in the home old enough to testify against her. pesse hejola.

Ok raza there you have it raaz.

hejola report for 08022012

Hejola report for 08022012.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am david duran, bill is on vacation. Now our award winning barrio headline news:
Chick taco fila under fire.
Fight destroys homeless home.
And finally, new water bills raise large concern in the hood.
The city and county leaders from both sides are preparing for any violence that might occur this coming week due to the fact que a new water billing statement will be place in affect. The new billing statements will be send out by pigeon mail and any ever barrio resident should get it within a few days. The action to start mailing bills via pigeon mail only makes sense, says the owner of about 10 pigeons. He told us que the city and county would safe chingos of money using them birds..
If you haven’t driven by the corner of third and wells street lately you will notice an increase of homeless folks new homes. A barrio leader told us que they didn’t want to ruin things for them homeless but came up with a secret plan on home to run off those homeless away from that famous corner. Well that barrio leader put that plan into effect, when several homeless folks saw him start a fire inside his new cardboard box home for three acting as a homeless person. As the blaze increased, he made a run for it. While the homeless were watching him run away, they didn’t notice que their homeless homes were on fire. After the smoke had settled, all the homeless home burned to the ground. A warrant for his arrest has been issued. The homeless folks that became homeless after the fire burned their homeless homes, were relocated across the street to a new homeless home section.

Yesterday several protestors were arrested at the corner off wells and third street. The reason was que the new barrio chick taco fila had a vato dressed in a pink chicken outfit giving out coupons for a discount on their new chick taco. The owner told us que hey, all we want is your money. Well the protestors weren’t very happy con that onda, so they took it on their own to punk the pink chicken. After a few blocks of chasing that poor pink chicken, it gave up and got beat up. The arrested protestors were all chatting “ we will over come”.

Ok pigeon lovers have a great Tejano day.

barrio olympics 2033

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter: gearing up for BARRIO OLYMPIC 2033.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. Hello again from Kingsville, I am Gloria Guerra and sure glad to be back. We had been shut down for several weeks due to the fact que the barrio zoo on the third floor allowed its little critters to escape, so we were required to shut it down until 85 percent of the critters would get caught. But now that all that has been taken care of we are back on a roll and preparing for our Barrio Olympic activities and events. Now with that report here is our sports guy Frankie Tuxedo Zungia.

Si Gloria things are moving fast for this weekend Barrio Olympics, and here is a preview of the events schedule for this weekend:

Friday:

Taco eating contest.

Fajita cooking contest.

Pan de campo throwing contest.

Beer drinking contest.

Saturday:

Hopping contest.

Spitting contest.

Watermelon eating contest.

Breaking into a car contest.

Out run the constable contest.

Catching birds contest.

Sunday:

10 block run.

5 block run.

1 block run.

1 house dash.

2 houses dash.

10 mile run, bicycle and swim.

And closing ceremonies.

So as you can see we have a chit load of work ahead of us. See you there raza and now back to Gloria.

OK Frank thanks and there you have it raza a brief summary of this weekends activities. I am Gloria Guerra at the mall .