hejola report for 08072012

Hejola report for 08070212.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hey raza como estan todos. I am bill diaz and We are back and alive once again. It’s been a long time since we came back live. Now for our award winning barrio headline news:

Two barrio groups cause concern for el constable cadena.

Barrio woman found guilty after she was her own  lawyer.

And finally a vato tries to kill himself.

Some  barrio feels very fortunate que they  have two very dependable groups of dedicated barrio volunteers caretakers for reducing crime in our hood. But not here in our hood, we have two such groups and they hate each other.

According to our police records submitted by el constable cadena,

“ let me put the finger on you committee” and “ el barrio investor group”  have spread nasty rumors about each other, compete ruthlessly and resist mediation more fiercely that any other social groups to be found in the whole county. It is reported que both groups have gangs and have committed vandalism in order to embarrass the other group. The origin of the feud appears to have started a few months ago when one group called the i.n.s.  on them. According to el constable there is no peace in sight.

In other news la commadre Laura Silva an eccentric tried to be her own lawyer was convicted on stealing twelve packs of tortillas. Her only witness was her died husband, where she spend two days on the witness stand as both questioner and witness in which justice of the peace allowed her to act as her deep-voiced husband, as she re-created their conversations. She also told the jury que she was a psychic. The jury and the judge found it not very funny. She will spend 30 days in county jail and some time at the lala farm for observation.

And finally things didn’t work out for el compadre jose Jimenez, after attempted suicide by tying a rope around his neck and the other end to a  telephone pole and then rode off on his bicycle. However the rope quickly broke, dooming his fifth suicide attempt this year. The impact however jarred him from his bike, causing him to fall off it and  breaking his two legs and his left arm. Last report is that he won’t be attempting any suicide anytime soon, since he won’t be able to walk for a few months.

Well raza there you have it for todays hejola report. I am bill diaz from our command post here in sunny Kingsville, texas and come home vato e..t.. no place like home.. gt.