hejola report for 09282018

Hejola report for 09272018.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, tx. Hello Raza I am Fideo vermicelli con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
No need to explain, their just plain stupid.
Barrio gun control under sieges or something like that....
And now some darn good news.
Vote’s this year will be required to were their id’s on top of their heads if they are planning on vote, the reason the barrio leaders came up with this new rule, was so they can tell the differences between your butt and your face. Dang. 
After an hour of debating for this year’s Justice of the peace, Russel rufus redneck point out during his debate con el ojo barrio private the current jp, que why should he sit here and explain ever point I make to stupid people? Well some in the crowd didn’t like his comment so they decided to leave before the event was over. As some made their way out of the room, Russell laid out one more comment, “hey before you guys leave take some tamales with you”! Oh yea we forgot to mention that there was free dinner and drinks for those who attended.
Yesterday a ton named Maria Anderson Molina (325) and Susana Green Munoz (256) and their smaller sister April Jackson Tellez (245) were arrested at the corner of third and wells along con some there ton friends, after they were told que their protest permit was for next weekend and not this weekend. Their protest was that they didn’t want the barrio leaders or anyone telling them when and when not they can carry their guns in public. But the constable pointed out that their permit was for a protest on new barrio ban on Tongs not guns. 

hejola report for 09262018

Hejola report for 09262018

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again mi raza and now for our award winning barrio headline news:

Constable shoots sex doll by mistakes.

El compadre hopalong morales arrested.

And finally, barrio man tries to steal boat.

Sometimes things are not just right, that was the case of esta vato trying to steal a small sail boat that was locked up behind el constable office. Esta vato thought that no one had seen him pull away with the trailer and the boat half on it. About three blocks down the road the boat made its way  off the trailer and onto the side walk. As esta vato loco tried to put the boat back on the trailer, the constable on patrol the area, decided to lead him a hand. Once the constable got closer to the boat he noticed que it was his boat. He arrested the vato and took him in. when the constable came back for the boat it was gone. Chinga. El constable is asking for your help in locating that sail boat. If you have any idea who took or where the boat is, the constable promises to give you a ride on it.

It seems que el compadre Morales felt que he needed to take his horse, silver, for a late nigh ride. The only problem was that he was intoxicated and was naked. As he rode his horse around the hood, some barrio residents  felt que he wasn’t no lady Godiva on that horse so many took it on their own to call the constable.  As the constable toured the hood looking for that male version of lady godiva, he came across him at the corner of third and wells street. After several hours of being chase through the hood, he finally gave himself up and asked permission to go to the bathroom. The constable arrested him and his horse. Charges are pending.  

Yesterday somehow el constable cadena got his chit mixed up and raided the wrong trailer home. It was in the middle of the night when el constable and his barrio task force 666, wanted to practices what they had just learned at some training they went too this pasted weekend. In following the instructions given to them, they forgot to make sure they were at the right address. When they got to the wrong address, they noticed a person standing by the window with some kind of weapon, the constable and his task forces didn’t wait to ask question but opened fire on the person standing by the window. Once they shot it with at least 125 rounds they moved in closer to look at their kill. When the dust settled it turned out to be a very expensive sex doll. Charges are pending. Oh by the way they gave up on the original bust.

Ok raza we will be on vacation till Monday morning, have a great weekend and wish the creator a happy birthday.

hejola report for 09252018

Hejolia report for 09252018

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, texas. Hello raza how are we doing today, I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio man wins law suit con disable toilets.

Warning called off for the rest of the day.

And finally some dam good news.

The hood is reminded que Halloween is just around the corner and remember that the barrio curfew for children under the age of 47 is 2a.m. for everybody else also don’t forget the permit.

Barrio warnings were issued throughout the day warning barrio members que there were two white men dress in black trying to rob and assault anyone and everyone. The whole hood was in a panic stage. My god says one of the barrio residents its worse that drinking cokes. (Editor’s note that there are only two types of persons in the hood either your white or black, In my case I’m a bit beige).

Yesterday we got word que the law suit filed by el compadre Daniel Perez had been giving approval and that certain restaurant and public places have to comply within a year. The law suit stated que handicap toilets were too high for handicap never the less regular people. You see he point out that you would have to be at least 6 foot tall in order to sit on handicap toilet and have your feet on the ground. By winning the lawsuit it is going to demand que all toilets sits not too be talker than two feet tall so short people could have contact with solid ground when they used them. All right raza.

Ok remember drive safe and watch out for children.