hejola report for 06302016

Hejola report for 06302016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello my friends I am Alcardo Samudio con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

La seniora garcia gets new dentures.

Barrio man blows himself up.

And finally, two vato’s arrested thinking they were wanted.

Yesterday afternoon inside Westinghouse barrio mall, Mateo y Matt vela noticed that el constable cadena and his barrio task force 666 members were investigating a crime nearby and became alarmed thinking that they might get arrested since both thought there were active warrants out on them. Mateo, age 31, managed to exit the mall area but got run over by a car outside the mall parking lot as he made his get away, and needed some medical attention. Matt, age 39, left his eight children inside the mall area, and made a run for it. When el constable finally caught up to him, he was not wanted for anything. The finally word was that it seemed que el constable had no warrants for either of the men, but faced new charges, Matt was charged for child endangerment and Mateo charged for jay walking, and not looking both ways when crossing the street.

 

Henry Galvan was sent to st. Paul’s medical center and placed in a medically induced coma after his homemade bomb prematurely explored as he accidentally tripped the bomb trigger before he entered the barrio bank he planned on robbery. Mr. Galvan suffered burns all over his body and lost left hand, his right eye, and a large chuck of his forehead. Charges are pending.

 

After being held at the st.paul’s medical center for several months, la senior Garcia filed a complaint con the owners of the medical center that someone had stolen her dentures while she was asleep. After management reviewed her case it seems that La commadre Mary Guerrero, Ms. Garcia roommate, had deceased and all her belongs had been removed and some of her personal belongs were buried with her. Ms. Garcia was given a new set of dentures due to the fact que her old ones had been buried with Ms. Guerrero.

Ok raza have a great tejano day, remember, your business is our business and my business is none of your business.

hejola report for 06272016

Hejola report for 06272016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello Raza I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio new statements; we talked to a lot of people.

Fight breaks out at fun rally.

And finally a lot of people.

It is sad that it has come down to this when real folks are asked questions about their lives, background, and just plan facts that they come up with a statement such as a lot of people. You know that when facts and other stuff don’t matter anymore only represents the lack of communication and the lack of awareness and of course the lack of common sense.  But when a lot of people statement is involved with lack of real facts it’s just not fair. So beware Raza that we live in a world that is based not on our judgement nor facts nor the actual truth but based on what a lot people assumed had said.  

What was support to be a fun rally for lots of people that had heard about this rally turned to be more of free for all fest? At least 17 cats and dogs and their owners were either injured and were taking to local medical centers for help. El constable Cadena tells us que he was not sure how it started but did say que he had heard from folks that we there that many starting throw rocks and bottles and food to each other for no reason. So arrested will be made, well at least that’s what we heard.

 

Yesterday the leader of let me put the finger on you committee stated that his group has gotten lots of support from a lot folks that they have talked about their campaign. It seems that they either heard it from a lot of people or have talked to a lot people said Russell Rufus Redneck. You know we know that you know that a lot of people know that we have known that for some time. So that is the reason for our campaign is going so well bases on a lot of people we have talked to.

Ok folks let’s hope that a lot of you have a great Tejano day.

Hejola report for 06232016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Jello raza I am Johnnie el quemon con today’s barrio headline news:

Barrios want to be gringito asked to leave rally.

Barrio handbook on “How to win election in the hood if you aren’t from the hood” published.

And finally Make room for me.

At the end of a rally yesterday there were at least 20 or so persons, cat, and dogs arrested for not wanting to leave the area they were protesting when asked to leave. The rally was a call for barrio members to join this group so they could put the finger on barrio members not complying by the group’s standards, ethics, and principles. The rally spoke person told us que look if these want to be persons are here to protest our group why don’t the go and start their own groups so they can share their own values and morals like we do. No charges have been filed.

In the next few weeks our own General Fideo Vermicelli, a political correspondent has published a book called ““How to win election in the hood if you aren’t from the hood” will be released sooner than later. He tell us que the purpose of his book is to demonstrate on how many barrio members had betrayed their own pride by joining a group that they want to think like they do, and act like they do, and want to be like they do. It also point out on how in the world can an outsider win an election inside the hood, when they just moved in! Maybe by marring one of them!

Yesterday Russell Rufus Redneck had to ask one of his wife’s (La prima Gloria blondie dye hair) relative to leave a fund raiser event due to the fact que he wasn’t gringito enough to join the rest of so call gringito group in the hood.  “ let me put the finger on you” committee  chairperson told us que ; look if Russell feels que his wife friends, relatives or whatever seen not to fit in he wasn’t going to allow them among the selected gringito group. Oh by the way Russell was running to get re-elected as a barrio representative.

Ok raza there you have it and remember never abandon the hood because you have to come back sooner than later.

hejola report for 06212013

Hejola report for 06222016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Everything green is ok, even your teeth.

New barrio web site for older citizens shut down in two minutes.

Barrio cemetery stops taking pets.

We told you it would be a matter of time when the folks realized que its not cool to be buried next to your owner if you where its best friend, a pet. The city and county commissioners voted on a joint effort to stop the practices of burying pet’s next to its owners inside the county and city limits. The order was passed yesterday and will not allow animal remains to be buried together anymore. A small group of pet owners and love ones protested such an order and might just decide to recall those elected officials that don’t have a heart for its man’s best friend.

Yesterday a new barrio internet service was going to open its site but was shut down within minutes from its grand opening. The reason could be several but the main one was que it was a service for adults over the age of 90 and must submit naked pictures in order to be able to purchase the services and be a member. The council for older vato’s president told this reporter que it’s ridiculous to have our older members of the hood exposing them in order to buy this services and who in the world would one to see our seniors naked. Charges will not be filed.

Yesterday a barrio scientist was named outstanding vato for 2011, for designing and developing a green teeth dye that will keep your teeth stay green color forever. El Hijo Sue, 56, a barrio ged and college graduate was honor for this great discovery. I am honor for this award and moved that my product will help those folks with yellow teeth move forward with their life’s knowing que they can make this world more greener than ever. The new dye will be available in the year 2058. Let’s hope if you are still alive, still have teeth to dye? Pesse hejolia.

Ok raza, just keep it tejano.

Hejola report for 06202016

Hejola report for 06202016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Veronica la lesbian, con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Tejano strap it on con normal country raza.

Ten more reasons to love tejano.

And finally a few shots taken at our office.

Just a few minutes ago, el compadre Mario Lomas took a few shots of left over alcohol from last night party in the hood. We mention to him que it was kind of early for him to be doing that. But he mentions que he was used to it. And it did really matter anyhow; he finished what was left over, after that he fell over and was pronounce die.

After a survey, another one, was conducted asking barrio raza in our hood ten more new reasons how and why to love tejano music. And here are the results;

1. Need more slow songs, in order to hug la commadre more often?

2. La commadre needs to wear her daisy dukes shorts she wore when she weighted 152 lbs (now weights 258lbs).

3. Conjunto need to wear more dress suits, when they perform, just in case they go to court after the gig.

4. La commadre has to buy shorter high heels due to the fact que el compadre is getting shorter.

5. Conjunto need to stop looking like the old wild west.

6. No more cover charges at dances, instead of charging money, take recycle cans, copper and metal items. It’s a better deal.

7. Stop paying beer for conjuntos members wanting free beer as they perform. They might not sound the same way three hours later.

8. Get out off jail card free for conjunto members when they leave a dance. DWI, pi , and wtf.

9. Open the doors earlier at dances and people might leave sooner than later.

10. Have your favor conjunto come over and spend the night with your family. Stay up all night and talk about the good ole days.

Well raza, as you can see it was a great turn out and thanks to all the folks in our hood for their time in doing this survey.

It was just about midnight, with a full moon; one could feel it in the air when all hell broke loose. It seems que you can’t have a party before someone says something that someone didn’t want to hear. Somewhere between country music and tejano sounds discussion, el compadre came from behind and wanted to teach is friend, a country raza, some lesson in tejano music. In doing so he grab his accordion and hit his friend over his head with it.

 Now el vato, normal country raza, stood up after he hit his head on the ground and grab his violin and smacked his compadre over his faces, breaking into a thousand pieces. Both men realized how foolish they looked after wrestling for several hours in the back yard, tossing and yelling and some screaming from the children, wives, other friends watching this ultimate culture match. When the dust settled both men hugged each other and were wondering how in the world we got to this.

Ok have a great tejano day.

hejola report for 06172016

Hejola report for 06172016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Maria la Bandia, Billy is on vacation, again. But for now here is our award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio man shots father after drinking barrio home brew.

Vato dies at St. Paul’s Medical center hall way.

And finally La senior Ben torres arrested for doing snow at his home.

 

Yesterday morning el senior Pablo Bernal was pronounced dead in the middle of St. Paul’s Medical center hallway, where he usually slept during the weekends. The spoke person for the medical center, said during a press hearing that Bernal was a regular at the center, especially during the weekends. Medical center Staff never really bother to check on him since he made it a tradition of lying on the floor for several hours and then he would leave. But for some reason he laid on the hall for about three days until staff determined que he was dead. Charges are pending.

 

During the same time, el constable was called to the corner of wells and Third Street where the body of the late compadre Ramon Garcia was found in the middle of the street. Witness say que his son Ramon Garcia known as tres was arrested on charges of killing his father after those witnesses saw him drink several gallons of their own Home Made barrio brew. The late Garcia was the owner of the only barrio beer company named Barrio Home Brew Beer. El constable claims que esta tres was temporary insane. Charges will be filed.

Ben cortez was arrested by mistake when the barrio task forces 666 raid his home when the owners of La Queen snow cone shop called the up to let them know que Ben was doing some snow in his home. When the task forces raided his home all the found was a cup off what seem like a snow cone. It seems that Ben did not pay for the snow cone and the owner of the La Queen reported Ben and told them que he was doing snow at his home. Charges were dropped and new charges will be filed against the La Queen for false information of a person and additional charges will be filed for selling snow cones without a permit. Pesse hejola.

Ok raza an to those gringito don’t get mad we understand that is the way you were raised. But at the end you will be nothing more than a vato from the hood who made one day to slam folk. Cool.

hejola report for 06162016

Hejola report for 06162016

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Once again here is alcardio samudio. Como estan todos mi raza today? We are doing great here in Kingsville, Texas the Mecca de conjunto music. Now for today’s headline barrio news:

Maria la vandia being sued by cchwnn.

Rain forces homeless to move into barrio community center.

And finally new barrio mall has an announcement on grand opening.

Yesterday afternoon we reported que a new barrio mall was going to open on sept 16. Well its official the owners of El Centro barrio trade center will officially open as announced. The new owners are Mrs. Maria Elena Salinas, Mrs. E. Jackson, and el senior Manuel Ruelas.  This new group is called los barrio investor associates. The Centro officials are asking our cyberspace friends if anyone is interested in opening a store or shop just contact us for more details.

In other news, at our barrio community center opened its doors last night to at least 12 homeless folks that were forced to leave el barrio conjunto enchanted land camping site. Barrio officials tell us que they were forced to move due to the fact que the camping site was in violation of camping ground rules. Los vato locos volunteer firefighter, who are in charge of the center tell us que they will allow these homeless folks to stay there for a week. Pero they better not make mucho pero says one of los locos.

And finally our creator has gone and done it. He is going to take maria la vandia a former employee and barrio report to court. It seems que maria has gone to work for a new barrio weekly news services. Our creator tells us que maria is still under contract and has not ended her term here con cchwnn.  A court date is set for august sometime 2033.  Daniel our creator is really pissed and hope que he can write himself out of this one.

Okl raza have a great day.

hejola report for 06142016

Hejolia report for 06142016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,texas. hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Three men and two cats and 8 dogs arrested.

Confused drug user calls 811 for drugs.

And finally some darn good news.

We all knew that if something is going to happen regardless I told you so happned! So that don’t make things right or wrong or makes a person more knowledge. But it does bring a shocking awareness that it did happen. So let us not give credit to the person who said I told you but keep force on what we already knew it was going happen. My mother once send me to a woman who read cards and my god she knew everything about me. But it was because my mother had been there several times and had told them about my issues. So it wasn’t that the woman who read cards determine my issues but only reinforce them base on what my mother had told her. With that in mind let us not fall into that trap that I told you so, but agree that we already knew that .

It wasn’t a rare thing but it was unusual that ten folks were calling 811 and placing drug orders to this known phone number. El constable tells us que los vato loco’s volunteer firefighters were the  ones answering any emergency calls coming to this number  811 and it seems that they (los Locos) were running some sort of drug business and this was the number to place an orders. All eight locos were asked to leave the building where they were answering calls

Yet it seems that when it rains it sure pours. Well that was the case yesterday after el constable told a group of protestors to leave the corner of third and wells where they had gather to show support for an end of time. Their support here was to show que the world was coming to an end and they wanted to let folks know and que someone was going to pay for that.  Well after a few hours of nonsense el constable told it on his own and told the group that their permit had expired and it was time to go. When they refused to leave the constable had no choice but to us force in getting them to leave by throwing at 50 water balloons at them and some rocks and sticks.  It wasn’t till he used some real force by using bottle rockets and roman candles at them. Once the smoke settled he arrested three men and two cats and 8 dogs. Charges will be filed against all of them. Oh by the way at least seven persons were rush to some hospital for injuries received from the fireworks.

Ok raza have a great day.

hejola report for 06132016

Hejola report for 06132016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,Tx. Now from the dark side of town, here is our soul brother himself Lewis Mojo Lewis,

Hello folks, now that we have had a brother in the main office we have had great things happen to the greatest country in the world, and it will continue to do regardless what that Orange Julius says.

New city learder’s  plan on moving time two hours instead of one, protest march is planned for the fall.

Food center in need of cans for xmas baskets  for 2016.

And founding fathers from across the tracks want to shut down part of our side of third street  in the hood.

The folks at the Westside community center will move all their fall and spring programs ahead two hours. Rumor has it que our new city leaders and barrio leaders, are planning on move the time clock  up two hours. Now where in the hell that came from we are not sur, but I am sure que it had to be some republican in the hood.  Dealing with the same story, all members in the hood plan on a protest march this summer for this coming fall, if such a move is made. Why would they do that.. save energy?

This year’s can drive seems to be going kinda slow said, DAREL White, an African American  man in charge of the center for cans. Oh yea it seems que folks just don’t want to donate stuff anymore to us. It seems que there are several reasons why folks don’t want to donate stuff to that center. Last year there was a report que all the good cans were taken by the center operating staff and left only corn, green beans and other cans que people really already might have. A community meeting will be held to look in to this matter in 2033.

And finally, the founding fathers from across the track have closed down part of third street which is at the edge of wells street. It seems que that part of that town is right in the heart of our tavern and bar section of the Westside hood. Don’t they realize que by doing that it will force all those bars and taverns to shutdown. Look we know it’s a low income district but by them shutting down three blocks down it will dynasty our business says one bar owner and not only that says another bar owner, it will ruin our annual drunk bash, held every June, schedule for some time next week. Leaders from the hood and members from the darken side of town will meet this weekend to discuss this matter, one final point, the city didn’t even ask us , they just came down and shut the streets down. I quess , that’s one good way to save city and county money in repairing streets. chit just shut it down. Why do they always pick on us says the founding fathers from this side of the tracks, we just don’t understand.

Oh well I am lewis mojo lewis from the dark side of town.

hejola report for 06102016

HEJOLIA REPORT for 06102016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx, Now from news desk that 1979 ford whatever here is David Duran.

Heaveno raza. Today is a very sad day. Seems there is never enough money to go around. But what can be done about? Nothing said the blind man to his two deaf sons.

Now for the barrio headline news:

Man dress like cantinflias arrested,

La commadres frontyard fence sprayed con dirt word,

And local taverns owners all agreed they would ask drunks to go home.

Yesterday tavern owners gathered at our local community center to discuss the major problems concerning the increase of drunks and the problems they were causing lately. It seems que since football season is over more and more drunks have been coming out into the public taverns says one owner. Another owner also second that comment. The organization of cantinas y dancehall all agreed that these kinds of problems are just what we don’t need.

 After a few minutes of discussing these problems, it was determined que ten barrio residents were pointed out as the ones causing problems. So it was agreed by this organization que whenever this person showed up at their bars they were going to be asked to leave and would refuse to service them. They were sure que all of the problems would go away.

In other news la Commadre Tula called the constable cadena to her home yesterday morning and reported que she was being harassed. When the constable arrived at her home, he did noticed que someone had spray-painting the word “HO” on her front yard fence and home wrecker, food stamp trap, up your nose with a rubber hoe. When the constable asked what seemed to be the problem, she said que she was receiving phone calls and saying que she was a “HO”. But since she didn’t have i.d. caller or star 69, she really couldn’t tell whom it was that was calling. The constable hated to do this but he informed her que someone had gone the extra mile and had spray painted the same word on her front yard all over the hoes home in the hood.

The constable office will investigate this matter.

 

And finally, a man in a "cantiflas” outfit stationed himself at the entrance Westinghouse barrio mall and took on his own to harassing rather than amusing children and parents. Mall officials called el constable cadena and as asked him to ask this look alike “cantiflas” fellow to leave the mall premise, stating que they didn't want him here, they did not want it there, they did not want it anywhere. After a few minutes el constable offer him a ride to a local tavern in which the man agreed to leave.

 

Well raza there you have for today, I am David Duran, and have a great day

BARRIO WORD OF THE DAY OBVIOUS 2016.

BARRIO WORD OF THE DAY “obvious” 2016”.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again Raza my name is Urbano YOsabatodo con today’s barrio word Obvious. Just the other day I asked a vato a question concerning a certain matter and they replied by using the word “obvious”?

So I took it on my own to determine what esta way was saying, and came up with this;

Examples of obvious in a sentence;

Her doctor immediately noticed the obvious signs of the disease.

She saw only the most obvious differences.

It was obvious that things weren't working out.

The answer seems obvious enough to me.

The problem was immediately obvious to everyone in the room.

He was the obvious candidate for president.

The obvious question is: how did he become so successful?

For obvious reasons, I would not like to reveal my name.

So after reviewing this few examples of what this way was trying to tell me I obviously determined that: The answer seems obvious enough to him but not to me. So what is so hard in trying to example the obvious thing to a person that obviously didn’t seem obvious?

So there you have it raza what seems to be obvious to the author could only be is that the author obvious doesn’t have clue on how to explain their point.

I am urbrano yousabatodo and its obvious que I didn’t get it. OBVIOUSLY NOT

hejola report for 06092016

hejola report for 06092016.

 Cchwnn.

 Kingsville,tx. Hello raza how are we doing, I am David Duran con today’s award winning barrio headline news;

 Three dogs and two cats busted.

 Eight gay tejanos arrested at normal bar.

 And finally some real good news.

 More than a l00 families in the hood got a real good surprise today when a load of live chickens turned over and some of the victims ( chickens) ma...de a run for it. As we all know that this has happened before in the hood, well anyhow at least 100 calls were made to the constable reporting chingos de live chicken were either seen, captured, run over, killed or even turn loose in the hood. The only thing that the constable could tell them folks,was don’t say anything and do what you think is right. What would you think is the right thing?

 There are a few things that a gay Tejano’s must keep in mind. That is que not all the Tejano dance halls are the same. In some case some bars and dance halls, will let women dance together when they find that there isn’t enough men to go around, but in some dance hall men are not allowed to dance together when there are more than enough women to dance with. Well that was the case at a normal Tejano bar where gays are very limited on who and what they dance with. The group of eight gay tejano’s were asked to leave the place or else. Well the gays decided to go with the ELSE, THAT’S when they were all arrested for not leaving when asked to.

Yesterday the only animal control agent was called to investigate the robbing of a local bird cage with two birds in it. Once the regulator got there, he noticed that few friends and dogs and cats were checking it out what he was doing. The regulator noticed que the three dogs and two cats were acting kinda funny, so he went over and started asking questions. At the point, he determined que the two cats and the three dogs were involved in this matter. All the pets were arrested.

 Ok raza have a great day and what would you think is the right thing ?

hejola report for 06082016

Hejolia report for 06082016.

 Cchwnn.

 Kingsville, texas. Hello I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

 Vato beat up with his plastic leg.

 Man and woman arrested for dressing like a man and a woman.

 And finally some good news.

 

The all stars teams  were informed that the district had decided to use umpires for the al stars that hadn’t call all year, the district dire...ctor told the group of coaches and parents, let just have fun and to never mind the baseball rules.

 Two persons were arrested at the only Tejano gay bar “two tons of fun” last night when they went in the wrong bathroom, the owners of the bar have had this problem before and thought that they had corrected this matter, but it seems that they hadn’t. Well one thing was the man was dress like a woman and the woman he was with was dressed like a man. So some how they got it mixed up and well went into the wrong rest room and got arrested. Charges will be filled.

Yesterday el constable was asked to come to the corner of third and wells where a man with only one leg had gotten beat up. When the constable got there he found Jesse Ventura knocked out and lying in the middle of the street next to his plastic leg. The constable told us que this is the same man that had lost his leg before and found it when he fell in a ditch a few months ago. Once the man came around he told the constable que it was the same three men who stole his leg before that beat him up with this darn leg. If you know anything about this butt kicking let us know.

 Have a great day

2016 consumer report for 06072016

2016 tejano consumer report,06072016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. 2016 tejano consumer report, tejano could be bad for your health in more ways than none.

Kingsville, tx. Hi again, I am Gloria Guerra with an update for tejano consumers and tejano products report. We don’t hear too much on this topic but lately we have gotten some emails asking us to check on this issue.

Here is our top ten tejano consumer and products that you should be aware of 2016:

10. don’t drink beer from beer cans left outside during the evening. Case study shows that more and more tejano’s are drinking from cans from the previous night find more and more roaches in them. One consumer couldn’t wait till noon on Sunday, so he took a big drink from a beer can left outside the night before and swallowed three giant roaches.

9. don’t buy used tejano clothing. Case study show that when you are buying used tejano clothing the size indicated might not be the size you bought. This allows tejano’s to wear larger clothing and changing size smaller to make them look thinner. Or the previous person just stretched it out two sizes larger.

8. don’t dance too long on those high heels. Case study has shown que if you go to a tejano dance wearing high heels, they might have gotten a bit shorter due to the fact que you wore them out while dance ten or more songs in a role.

7. don’t buy those expensive drinks at bars. Case study have shown que if you drink enough at home and stick your head out the window while you drive at 85 mph there, scientific study have shown que you should have a good buzz way before you get there, which will reduce you from spending so much money at the bar que you wonder what happen to all your cash. Oh by the way the new hair style will be free.

6. don’t pick up any one at a tejano bar. Case study have shown que the majority of men and women that go to tejano dances are either married and there by themselves, or are there looking for their x’s to see who there are messing around with. Beware of los chingaso behind the head when not looking. Could be bad for your health.

5. don’t get there to early, you might be charged with a higher cover charge. Case studies have shown que if you get there about one hour before the bar closes, you have a better time and less expensive and still see the main attraction.

4. don’t take pictures at tejano bars. Case study showed que tejona’s that go to bar when there are not suppose too find themselves in lot of shit back home and having to explain the picture later to love ones.

3. don’t go too a tejano dance if you are not suppose too. Case studies have shown que if you go to a tejano dance it’s very possible that you might go home smelling like the bar and its harder to explain from where that smell came and not a birthday party at the office.

2. don’t dance with other persons if they didn’t go with you. Case studies have shown que if you ask a person too dance sitting there by themselves surely have a date there but went to the bathroom or buy then a drink . It dangerous too your health.

1. and finally if you are a member of the band take your wife with you. Case studies have shown que more and more band members are getting divorces or left due to all the groupies that follow them from dance to dance and didn’t take their love one with them .

 

Ok raza got to go , have a great tejano day if there any left to party with ..

hejola report for 06062016

Hejola report for 06062016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello como estan, I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Family Gomez took all the cookies, more for us?

Reunion of semi-pro baseball team.

And finally few tejanos pissed off.

Today was nothing different from other days, when we have single tejano’s and their supporters, not athletic supporter but individuals that drink from the cup they pissed on and now are pissed off when they were asked why  their  group was wanting to hold a secret gathering to determine the future of la onda tejana; which they felt they represented. Many in the hood told us que estos ways, hadn’t done nothing only benefit from their own ideology ideas and their needs only.  A special barrio meeting will be held to discuss this matter in 2033, make sure to attend this session, that’s if you are still alive.

This weekend will mark the 30th anniversary that Los Amigos semi- pro baseball team last played.  This weekend these old goats will join together and will play against a team much older than they are. The team that has agreed to show up for this challenge has yet not mention, how many team members they will have to face Los Amigos. The team captain for  the challengers Ziggy Perez, age 82, say que he is really sure que his team will be there and has assure us que someone is going to get there butt whipped.   Good luck guys and make sure you bring your diaper and your will with you.    

 Yesterday la familia Gomez were arrested when they determine que they were only interested in their needs and not the rest of the hood. Its really sad, says el comparde Juan Perez, one of the families que didn’t get any cookies,  que esta familia, Gomez, took all the cookies from the cookie jar and didn’t leave any for the rest of us. This type of selfness is what cause us not have faith in bull shitter, wearing Tejano clothing.

Ok raza and to all los gringitos that have learn the game, have a great Tejano day way…

hejola report for 06032016

Hejola report for 06032016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Gloria Guerra con today’s award winning barrio headline news;

Fight breaks out at the mall parking lot.

The Canary in the Coal Mine Moment for Tejano Music opens its doors.

Arrests still continue in burning down the tejano gay bar.

El constable was force to arrest several persons shooting off fireworks inside the mall parking lot. When the constable got there, at least 10 people were fighting and several were on the ground from injuries received during the alterations. It started off as a family fun thing but when they got to the end of the fireworks, that’s when all the trouble started. Charges will be filed against all the persons there and few fireworks were recovered.

The Canary in the Coal Mine Moment for Tejano Music opened its center doors today at the corner of third and wells. This new moment will serve as a warning to others that we have so little control over the fate of Tejano, que we believe in continuing sing anyway. Our philosophy is that we have to live this way indicating a willingness to work con la onda tejano without compromises. With this in mind we believe our strategy for future growth will only come from testing new ways to keep la onda alive. Our moment will evaluate the feasibility of ideas without risking investments. Our first meeting will be held on July 5, 2023. In addition to all this we will try and give out awards to those non-members that show interests and new ways to push la onda tejana.

Late last night el constable and el barrio task force 666 conducted another raid deep inside Westside. Arrested were 3 members of that terrorist lesbians group that had set up shop inside the corner of third and wells. Many of this so call what too be men were involved in burning down the tejano gay bar. We are still investigating if there were any more of its members involve.

Have a great day and keep it tejano

hejola report for 06022016

Hejola report for 06022016.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio dog trainer busted for stealing dogs.

Increase of stray animals in the increases.

And finally real love turns out to be your pet.

Before his arrest this past few days,“here Boy” Munoz, the only barrio dog trainer, show casted his new book on training barrio dogs. The name of the book is “Helping Dogs help themselves”, was to be released in a few days. But for now the book signing date is pending on his release from jail. We think he was stealing dogs?

El constable cadena will be the main speaker at tonight community program where he will address the large number of dogs, cats and some farm animals that have strayed into the hood lately. Cadena tells us que tonight meeting will be very important, because he plans on submitting his proposal to decrease the number of stray’s in the hood. He was not ready to announce his plan till after the meeting and may be in the year 2018, when his plan will be finalized.

Yesterday evening el constable stopped a 1978, 2 door ford whatever and found at least 27 dogs inside the vehicle. The owner and driver of the car was the only barrio dog trainer “here boy” Munoz, and was arrested for driving with too many dogs. El constable told us que they weren’t sure how he was able to driving when he barely fit in the car. But after further investigation and questioning some of the dogs, it turned out that half of the dogs had been reported missing. One of the dogs told this reporter “ bark bark barkkekssl”. All the dogs were arrested and some were later released to their proper owners, the other were let loose and allowed to wonder into the darken streets. “Here Boy” was fined and was taken to the local lalal land clinic for observation that evening.

Ok raza there you have it have a great day.