barrio stock market report for 01302015

Barrio stock market report for 01302015.

 

Cchwnn.

 

Kingsville,tx. Como estan I am urbano yosabatodo con esta stimulus barrio stock market report. Doesn’t It seems que the new trend is just plain stimulus? Yea that’s the ticket. Everywhere we go its stimulus this and stimulus that. Our society has taken the word stimulus and applied to almost everything possible. Shoot, even those sex enhancement pins have a little stimulus to them. But for now, let’s just try to stimuluate the economic and leave our sex life out of it.

 

Now for that award winning report:

 

In the world of buying and selling barrio stock is nothing new too many of us, switching to a new market doesn't mean that they are doing the research that we do. So we don’t expect you to change or change any of your barrio stock market habits. Just hang with us. Ok.

 

 

 

Los tamales, if there is any way to beat el tamale market for this coming xmas season we insist that you buy now. Most tamale brokers are selling their stock at a real low rate this month but preparing to launch an interest on price before you know it. If you can, scoop up as much as you measurably can, all this will guarantee a whole lot of tamales for this xmas season. Oh by the way the tamale guy never came back. Los tamales ended the week at $5.50 a dozen a dollar down from last week.

 

 

 

Las tortillas: With the increase of wheat and gain this market has suffered a bit this month. Since the start of this quarter las tortillas have gotten much better. In terms of not too many found stuck together like several year ago. Who says nobody reads our barrio stock market. The tortilla war of 2005 really made a differences with this market. Las tortillas ended the week at $.99 a pack.

 

Los taquitos up ten cents from last week, ended the week at $1.35 each and coffee is extra. But we found a place here in Kingsville got them going for 2 taquitos for $1.75.

 

la barbacoa de caberas remained stable, ended the week at $6.50 a lb.

 

 

Barrio want ads:

 

Item 0321545:  used women and men underwear lots of sizes from 12 to 18 in the women’s section and sizes from 36 to 48 waist  for the men section. All sales are final.

 

Item 030548: used car tires for sell. All sizes only flat on the bottom.

 

Items 035698: easter chickens, turkeys and rabbits for sale, different colors and size. Some chickens are chicks from last year that weren;’t  sold . now full grown but still some color in them.

 

 

 

Items 038574:  jose lopez t shirts “ put me in jail if I fail” call or write about price and design. please note que this not the joe lopez you think it is, its another vato con that same name, and in jail also. Pesse hejola..

 

 

 

Now for the barrio realtor report:

 

El primo Mendez tells us que the city is getting ready to knock down a bunch of crack houses, the owners tell us que they would like to know if anyone is interested in pick up the remains of this houses for free. Let us know no charge but there is a transportation tax in our hood.

 

 

 

Ok raza have a great weekend and make sure to go  shopping at our malls. 

hejola report for 01272015

 

 

Hejola report for 01272015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas.hello I am Johnnie Quemon con today’s award winning barrio headline news.

Pancho masters the English language.

Barrio leaders can’t understand Murphy’s Law.

And finally some darn good news.

Today is a very important day for many barrio cat owners. They had been told that the city leaders including barrio leaders all agreed that a person in a household can only own a total of 15 cats. So if you have a very large family and each person in that family can owe up to 15 cats. So please make sure that if the animal control comes by your home and tries to remove your cats tell them to read the memo dated 01252001.

 

Juan Moore was accused of using a word that offended many people at the barrio town meeting. He wanted to explain to the barrio leaders that patching pot holes and not fixing the streets would sooner or late go wrong and would be cheaper to just close down the streets that can’t really be fixed. He point out that Murphy’s Law, would eventually kick in. Barrio leaders asked him to leave the meeting.

 

Yesterday afternoon el senor Pancho Pancho Pancho was so excited que he finally realized he had all wrong. You see Pancho for the longest time had it out for Presbyterians especially having their own cross walk. But after a few years studying English and the terms of words he realized que he had the word PEDESTRIAN mixed up with PRESBYTERIAN. Way to go Pancho.

Have a great Tejano day.

hejola report for 01282015

 

 

Hejola report for 01282015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,Texas. Hello raza I am General Fideo Vermicelli con todays award winning barrio headline news;

Barrio drag queens increased in 2014.

Ten men and ten chickens arrested at the corner of third and wells.

And finally so darn good news.

Barrio elections this coming year has produce lots of barrio members wanting to run for office and get paid for holding that office. What better income are there, full benefits, no more food stamps, car allowances, office space, cell phone, copy machine, computer and lab top, my god where do I sign up?

El constable Cadena tells us que the last few weeks a group of grown men and some of their chickens have been protesting the proposed city law that would require all chicken owners in hood to register their pet ( in this case chickens) and to make sure that their chicken chit is disposed in a proper way. Look if cats and dogs and sheep owners are required to sign up pets, why not other pet’s says el constable. The barrio will vote on this matter this coming 2033.

The owner of two tons of fun the only Tejano gay bar has may us aware that there was a 35 percent increase on drag queens compared to previous years. Lil Java tells us que she is real excited about this due to the fact que it brings in more customers and more revenue to the bar and the barrio in general. Look says Lil Java, these queens need to eat, buy makeup and clothing, footwear and so on, so all and all the whole hood benefits. As a matter of fact we are planning on adding an extra room to our bar for a clothing salon, where you can shop and drink at the same time.

Whatever you do raza don’t write or sing about your mama.

hejola report for 01262015

Hejola report for 01262015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,texas. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Uncle Tomas Gamez arrested.

Barrio AtM machine recovered.

And now so darn bad news.

The barrio tax collector has informed us que if barrio resident don’t pay up sooner than later, the water and all the barrio services will be shut off for the whole hood. So if you are one of those folks that have money and waiting for a rainy day you better folk up the bucks because a storm is brewing.

Los dos Gilbert, Mark and Benny, were arrested late last night, when they attend to rob a Barrio ATM machine from La Casa de Morales store. It seems they had broken into the store and dragged away the only barrio ATM machine behind their truck. El constable was able to bust them when all he had to do was follow the gouge marks in the street that directly lead it to their home.

Yesterday afternoon due to lack of common sense Uncle Tomas Gamez was arrested by el constable who by the way was standing behind at the GO and Stop barrio store when he pulled out a photograph of a gun he was going to use in robbing the store.  He was charged threatening store employees and robbery.

Ok raza have a great Tejano day.

barrio stock market report for 01162015

Barrio stock market report for 01162015.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, Texas. Now from that misty smelly 1978 ford whatever here is our own barrio guy urbano yosabatodo.
Heaveno once again raza. It’s that weekend again and is you ready to spend some money raza? Nope.
Now that market report que you can’t wait for:
Just for the record, here is the listed of the markets we are now monitoring for 2015:
Las empanadas
Los taquitos
Los tamales
Las flour tortillas by the dozen
La Baracoa by the pound
And finally cheap beer

Well are planning on posting that Barrio economic development study results for first quarter of 2015 as soon as we can.Well first of all it’s a  non-scientific study, but we already know that there’s lot of poor people in our hood.

Las empanadas had no major impact con esta study y do not foresee any increase on price for the end of this quarter of the year. Remain stable at .69 cents each. We will never ever again see them at four for a dollar.
Los taquitos did get some kind of of reaction out of this study. We kind of determined que if more people got up a bit earlier they wouldn’t have to buy taquitos in the morning. But since many do work and have some kind of money it really makes no differences. Los taquitos remained stable at $1.25 each and coffee is not included. But we can say que taquitos are a better buy in larger city where it is reported que they go for two for $1.25.
Hejolia

Los tamales went back to $.00 a dozen which is the same price it was last year at this same time. We do not see any increase in the horizon until Easter sometime. Barrio tamale brokers are still waiting to see what Manuel Gonzales is going to do about buying out all the small restaurants in the hood.

Las tortillas de flour remain stable at .89 cents a dozen to $1.20 a dozen all depending on the name brand you buy/ we recommend que you pay a bit more for better quality. Oh yea.

La barbaco is still at $6.50 a lb. Con very little fat on it. It is very important que you say that. If not puro fat y no meat.

And finally last night we broke the ice and bought beer a quarter more than we use to. But we had several reasons but that is another story. Cheap beer stables at $4.5 a six pack.

Well raza there you have it for this week, y again toda la raza headed to san anto god be with you all.

From our 1978 ford whatever I am urbano yosabatodo.

barrio story 2015, my tattoo, twenty years later

Barrio story 2015, my tattoo, twenty years later.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, Texas. Hello raza I am Veronica La Lesbian con my barrio story 2015, my tattoo twenty years later.
As a young woman I felt que we would have to follow the trend that was back then. As you might already know tattoo weren’t the trend but to be beautiful and full of hope and joy was. I was an outlaw, one that didn’t go along, one that had to be different so I dyed my hair and didn’t follow my parent’s advice. ...So to piss them more I got a tattoo on my back saying “MotherDear”. From that point on I was label an outcast. Now twenty years later and about 150 lbs heavier and no waist line, my poor tattoo doesn’t even look like the one I had twenty years ago. My “MotherDear” doesn’t even read like that anymore. It’s sad that I didn’t listen to my parents back then and now I have to live with “Montgomeryward” on my back.

barrio tattoos 20 years later part two, 2015

Barrio tattoos 20 years later part two,2015.
01142015.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Maria La Banda con our second part Barrio tattoos part two. Yesterday my good friend and co work Veronica wrote about her experiences con tattoos back them. Last night our creator along con other staff decided to do a follow up on this matter.
We decided to address it in a Christian point of view. As we all know and have noticed that many more folks are using spiritual referenc...es on their daily face book about Jesus and god in general. So we took it on our own to use tattoos as a point of references for all you good Christian asking for his guidance’s.
So we will start by quoting some parts of the Old Testament laws:
The Old Testament law commanded the Israelites, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD” (Leviticus 19:28). So, even though believers today are not under the Old Testament law (Romans 10:4; Galatians 3:23-25; Ephesians 2:15), the fact that there was a command against tattoos should raise some questions. The New Testament does not say anything about whether or not a believer should get a tattoo.

In relation to tattoos and body piercings, a good test is to determine whether we can honestly, in good conscience, ask God to bless and use that particular activity for His own good purposes. “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). The New Testament does not command against tattoos or body piercings, but it also does not give us any reason to believe God would have us get tattoos or body piercings
An important scriptural principle on issues the Bible does not specifically address is if there is room for doubt whether it pleases God, then it is best not to engage in that activity.
Romans 14:23 reminds us that anything that does not come from faith is sin. We need to remember that our bodies, as well as our souls, have been redeemed and belong to God. Although 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 does not directly apply to tattoos or body piercings, it does give us a principle: “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”
So what is the point we are trying to make? This great truth should have a real bearing on what we do and where we go with our bodies. If our bodies belong to God, we should make sure we have His clear “permission” before we “mark them up” with tattoos or body piercings, so before you decide to post your believe in god, take a look at what you already done and ask yourself if I am a hypocrite?
God bless you, to believe is to believe but to believe only what you think that applies to you is not the word of god.
For more details on our faith please visit the church of Daniel,facebook.

westinghouse barrio mall newsletter 01152015

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter 01152015.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,Texas. Hello again raza I am Gloria Guerra con today’s award winning barrio news:
Barrio mall re-open after terrorist notification.
Tattoo shop owners rally outside our office....
And finally some darn bad news.
The dust has not settled yet from all the protestors here at our office, the bad news is that our creator (Daniel) has made every effort to work with this people that are complaining about the issue concerning tattoos. So for now we will not write or make any comments about tattoos or our fellow Christians.
A few grown men and women rallied around our office at the corner of third and wells protesting the last few day’s editorial about Christians and tattoos. El Hombre de la Tinta (Juan Luna) the owner of the two tattoo shops in the hood told the group que the Hejola report should not be getting involved con peoples free will choices and nevertheless religion issues. He also said que they were going to keep the pressure on Bill Diaz, that whatever woman or man Veronica la lesbian, and that trashy Maria La Bandia. How dare this people talk about tattoos when they themselves might have one, the question now is do they have one? More on this matter later, but for now eat my grit.

El constable Cadena was responding to a terror note left at the front door of the mall a few days ago. But after close review it was not a terrorist note but a red slip letting the mall know that the water and electrics will be shut down due lack of payment. I guess if you got a notice that things were going to get shut off would be a terror in one’s mind.
Ok raza have a great taboo day, lol.

hejola report for 01132015

Hejola report for 01132015.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, Texas. Hello raza I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Repo’s up and payments down.
Two Tons of Fun remodeled....
And finally some darn good news.
El barrio leaders have told us que residents need to stop calling their office concerning the Pot Holes and that their complaint should not be about pot hoe’s that walk the streets. Those complaints should be address to el constable Cadena’s office. Now that is some good news.
The only Tejano gay barrio in the nation Two Tons of Fun have informed us que it is under new management and planning to repaint the inside of the bar and will try to remove the old paint and bring it up to par. La Vidie the new administrator told us que he/she hopes the bar will be ready for its first Drag show coming this Valentine’s day.
There just seems not to be enough money, never the less expecting more money in 2015. Adan’s Repo has informed us that 2015 has not been a good year for lots of barrio residents. He told us that the number of cars, TV’s, air conditioners, washers and dryers, iron boards, curling irons, shake boards, bicycles, lap tops, desktop computers, cell phones, furniture, lawn mowers, weed eaters, tillers, and some sex toys have all be recovered due to the lack of payments. He also mention that if we come by you all better answer the door or else. He plans on giving everyone a fair share of time to catch up con su payments. So if you have a loan con esta company you better step up.
Ok raza if you have not hugged a Tejano today. Please do.

hejola report for 01122015

Hejola report for 01122015.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,Texas. Hello partner, I am Country Pancho with your barrio headline news:
Cowboys fans can’t believe it.
New hope and new ideas....
And now some darn good news.
Well we all knew it was just a matter of time that the city decided not to patch pot holes but instead have decided not to do anything about at all. Look one of the barrio leaders told us que many used to live in el rancho and were used to having dirty roads! Why not now? Huh that makes sense!
The same folks that promised you tamales in a can and tortillas in can had told us que there back and will be in stock at the local barrio stores. Mr. Ernesto Games told us que his group is so excited that they plan on making lots of money from this new .
After a disappointing game yesterday some Cowboys fans took it on their own to terrorize the hood for a few hours and into the evening said El constable. He told us que the number of complaints was so high que it didn’t really matter, the boy’z lost and that’s the way it is.
Ok raza have a great Tejano day.

barrio stock market report for 01092015

Barrio stock market report for 01092015.

 

Cchwnn.

 

Kingsville,tx. Como estan I am urbano yosabatodo con esta new stimulus barrio stock market report. Doesn’t It seems que the new trend is just plain stimulus? Yea that’s the ticket. Everywhere we go its stimulus this and stimulus that. Our society has taken the word stimulus and applied to almost everything possible. Shoot, even those sex enhancement pins have a little stimulus to them. But for now, let’s just try to stimuluate the economic and leave our sex life out of it.

 

Now for that award winning report:

 

In the world of buying and selling barrio stock is nothing new to many of us, switching to a new market doesn't mean that they are doing the research that we do. So we don’t expect you to change or change any of your barrio stock market habits. Just hang with us. Ok.

 

 

 

Los tamales, if there is any way to beat el tamale market for this coming xmas season we insist that you buy now. Most tamale brokers are selling their stock at a real low rate this month but preparing to launch an interest on price before you know it. If you can, scoop up as much as you measurably can, all this will guarantee a whole lot of tamales for this xmas season. Oh by the way the tamale guy never came back. Los tamales ended the week at $5.50 a dozen a dollar down from last week.

 

 

 

Las tortillas: With the increase of wheat and gain this market has suffered a bit this month. Since the start of this quarter las tortillas have gotten much better. In terms of not too many found stuck together like several year ago. Who says nobody reads our barrio stock market. The tortilla war of 2005 really made a difference with this market. Las tortillas ended the week at $1.55 a pack.

 

Los taquitos up ten cents from last week, ended the week at $1.35 each and coffee is extra. But we found a place here in Kingsville got them going for 2 taquitos for $1.75.

 

la barbacoa de cabezas remained stable, ended the week at $6.50 a lb.

 

 

Barrio want ads:

 

Item 0321545:  used women and men underwear lots of sizes from 12 to 18 in the women’s section and sizes from 36 to 48 waists for the men section. All sales are final.

 

Item 030548: used car tires for sell. All sizes only flat on the bottom.

 

Items 035698: Easter chickens, turkeys and rabbits for sale, different colors and size. Some chickens are chicks from last year that weren’t  sold . now full grown but still some color in them.

 

 

 

Items 038574:  jose lopez t shirts “ put me in jail if I fail” call or write about price and design. Pplease note que this not the joe lopez you think it is, its another vato con that same name, and in jail . Pesse hejola..

 

 

 

Now for the barrio realtor report:

 

El primo Mendez tells us que the city is getting ready to knock down a bunch of houses with cracks in them, the owners tell us que they would like to know if anyone is interested in pick up the remains of this houses for free. Let us know no charge but there is a transportation tax in our hood.

 

 

 

Ok raza have a great weekend and make sure to go shopping at our malls. 

hejola report for 01052015

Hejola report for 01052015.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, Texas. Hello happy new year raza and well back and broke and handsome, one would say what’s the big deal? Now for our award winning barrio headline news:
Barrio warned not to chop public park tress for fire wood.
Larger amount of complaints this pasted new year’s eve than ever....
And finally some darn good news.
We are hoping like ever year que you don’t make a new year’s resolution, well at least for new year’s. we both know que there aint no way we are going to keep it, but we do have hope and that’s for Easter, you see Easter is only for 40 days. You got a better chances of making it.
Again el constable cadena has issued a public statement to the affect that this past New Year’s Eve and day the number of arrests, complaints, assaults, robbed, drug busted, dwi, pi, had an increase of 800 percent. The constable cadena say que one of the main factors was que los cowboys are winning.
El constable Cadena is warning barrio residents that they cannot go into a public park and chop down them trees for firewood. You see 65 percent of the barrio residents have fireplaces that require firewood. But that don’t mean you can go and chop any old tree you see. The constable also warned us that if he finds out that you are chopping down them park trees you are in heap of trouble.
Ok raza have a great Tejano year.

hejola report for 01062015

Hejola report for 01062015.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,Texas, hello raza I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Barrio big disappointments for 2014.
The biggest crimes for 2014 not recorded....
And now so darn good news.
The next few days are very important, so pay attention.
Here is a list of crimes that weren’t reported by our barrio news: El constable Cadena and his barrio task force 666 responded and arrested Mrs. Sammy Diaz, 42, who by the way spend 62 hours in jail after committing the crime of whacking her husband with a barrio play mate magazine while he was using the bath room.. huh. Martin Diaz, age 48, pleaded guilty at the justice of the peace courtroom for possession of 0.0009 grams of marijuana valued at about $.15 cents worthy, and was sentenced to 7 years’ probation, dang. And finally Nancy Garica, age 52, better known in the hood for Homer( why I don’t know) was arrested and sentenced two year probation for being caught twice in the same day caught stealing “tester” packages of aftershave at a barrio Go and Stop store. The value of the tester was $.02 cents each, totaling to $.20 cents.
We all know that things just don’t go our way all the time and in most case never does. In 2014 it was no different from previous years. Here are a few example. 1. Pedro Juan Saenz was so frustrated at the being of 2014 when he moved from San Anto to our barrio to marry La Commadre Elsa Gamez, age 54, who he met on the internet. He was arrested for assaulting la commadre after he realized that this woman was not like she was on the internet. 2. Now even worse was el compadre Pete Gomez, leaped to his feet at the closing of the wedding, when he was shocked at his first glimpse of his new bride with her veil pulled back. He was very disappointed that this woman was not what he imagined. He got a divorce right after the wedding.
Ok raza always pay attention and drive careful around school zones, and senior citizens homes.

barrio music award winners for 2014

Barrio music award winners for 2014.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, Texas. Hello raza I am David Duran with 2014 Barrio music award winners selected by you the barrio members. Please note that the names that were submitted do not reflect real conjunto or persons names. This is satire and not real. Now here are the winner:
1.The most ugliest band members for 2014? El conjunto La familia Santiago de Laredo.
...

2. The most ugliest male singer for 2014?
Ramon Ortega del conjunto Ortega ( feyo).
3. The most ugliest female singer for 2014?
Olga Ortega dle conjunto Ortega ( mass feya que feyo)
4. The worries live performing band for 2014? Luis Vasquez live solo at el patio in Palito Blanco,Texas.
5. The worries cd cover for 2014? El conjunto La familia Santiago de Laredo.
( my god a picture of cantus on their heads).
6.The most overrated band for 2014? Lil Maria y las Hermana Chong de Nuevo Laredo.
7.The best song of the year for 2014? “ven a mi, mi pequeno” by Olga Ortega dle conjunto Ortega
Ven a mí mi pequeño
8.The worries no show band for 2014? Maria y las Hermana Chong de Nuevo Laredo. Didn’t show for at least 50 percent of her schedule for 2014.
Ok raza I want to thank all the 10 people that submitted names. Again raza this can only happen if you make it happen.

hejola report for 01072015

 

Hejola report for 01072015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello raza I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio singles network connections for 2015.

Sales increase on wedding rings and returns.

And finally some darn good news.

It didn’t come as a surprise when the barrio leaders announced that they were planning on leaving this year’s Christmas decorations up for at least another two months. You know there are reasons behind all this. First, el constable has told us que since the Christmas lights have been up all year the crime rate has gone down. But on the other side is that these decorations are from 1959 and are a little worn out. But all and all as long as the hood is in good spirit, who cares.

El ojo barrio private eye and justice of the peace has informed us que there was an increase of marry license this past year of 2014, but the divorces rate was much higher que before. The only complaint we have gotten he says is that the companies that sell those rings are having a high volume of returns, which makes those sales persons commissions much lower since the ring was bought back.

 

El senor Ben Diaz has announced que starting in 2016 the only single connection in the hood will be operating here soon. He told us que it worked out great in the rural areas and he says there is no reason why it wouldn’t work here in the hood. “Barrio single network connections” is a bit different from other connections he says. The unique thing about our service is you can pick your mate base on weight, heavy man coming soon.

Ok raza don’t make a new year’s resolution, wait till Easter.