barrio music awards for 2017

BARRIO MUSIC AWARDS FOR 2017!

 

CCHWNN.

 

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am David Duran asking you to help us selecting make believe Conjunto’s names for this years 2017 Music awards. Just take the time and submit names to lapava66@aol.com. Here are the categories for 2017 (please do not submit real names lol)

 

1.    The most ugliest band members for 2017?

 

2.    The most ugliest male singer for 2017?

 

3.    The most ugliest female singer for 2017?

 

4.    The worries live performing band for 2017?

 

5.    The worries cd cover for 2017?

 

6.    The most overrated band for 2017?

 

7.    The best song of the year for 2017?

 

8.    The worries no show band for 2017?

 

Ok, folks you have several weeks to submit your names. Again please do not submit real band names. Help us help you use your brain and submit those names to cchwnn@netscape.net. Que onda esa!

 

The winners will be announced on nov.1,2017..

hejola reportf for 09142017

Hejola report for 09142017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, tx. Hello again I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio penny store gets sued.

Barrio donor gets award.

And finally seven vato burger gets robbed.

The family of the late Pablo Lozano filed a lawsuit late last night over the fatal head injuries he received when a bicycle knocked him down in a Barrio penny store parking lot late last year. The driver of the bicycle, Jimmy Moore, who was trying to get away from Mr. Lozano, was not sued. Based on the lawsuit, the cause of the fatal injuries was the negligence by the penny store, because it had mindlessly placed its tip jar in full view on a counter, thus provoke Moore into snatching up the money and make a run out the door, which inspired Lozano, as a good Samaritan, to chase moore and try to retrieve the employee’s tip jar back. The lawsuit will go to court in a few years.

Yesterday evening at our local barrio youth club el senor Marcos Garcia an elite donor of the youth club was honor during half time of a basketball game for his contribution to the club was nowhere around to accept his award, due to the fact que he was ejected from the stands in the first half of the game for harassing a volunteer referee about the officiating.

And finally, The Seven Vato Burger at the corner of third and wells was robbed by seven persons, well actually six men and one woman. Shortly after were arrested somewhere down the street. It seems that one of the seven persons involved with the robbery was an employee and son of the owner, el senior Sixto Kid. Charges will be filed.

Ok raza see you all later gator.

hejola report for 09082017

Hejola report for 09082017

ejola birthday report for 09292011.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, tx. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news. But for right now, our creator Daniel Lopez has just stepped into the golden years as one young woman at the age of 64 calls it. I am not sure our creator is ready to set into this illusion, but it has a certain sensation that is a bit artificial and could play trick with his poor little mind that is always living in a state of figment of his imagination. But for now let’s get to that darn report:
Six things that could happen on your birthday.

60 year old Birthday party gone wrong.

And finally, 60 year old arrested in his birthday suit.

Jimmy Gonzales Munoz was arrested late last night at the corner bar for walking around naked. It seems que ole Jimmy boy got so drunk at the bar que he thought he was home and started to take his clothes off as he walked towards the bar bathroom. By the time he came of the public bar he hadn’t realize que he had removed all his clothing. That’s when a bunch of customers inside the bar threw his hairy naked ass out the door and into the city where a group of Jehovah’s witness were waiting for the city bus. They notice the naked man, and then call the cops on him. While they were waiting for the law dogs, the Jehovahs’ covered him with some of their hand outs enough to cover his private parts. Munoz was arrested and taken to jail.

Yesterday las commadres y some compadres pitched in to hire a stripper or someone for el compadres 60’s year birthday party. Now please understand el compadres is a modest man, hard worker and has been faithful for as long as we known him to be. So la commadre Ester Hummer Suckyourtoes agreed to do this charming thing, where she would pop out of a giant box designed to look like a cake. Well when all the party goers got there and were all under the family car port, they tried to wheel in the giant cake, when all of sudden the dam thing tipped over and fell on top of the table were all the goodies were causing a chain reaction of destruction. The bottom line is the birthday cake flew in the air and landed on top of el compadre’s head, cause a small fire on top of his head from the 60 candles that were lid up. La commadre Suckyourtoes suffered a major head injury, requiring emergency care. It took them about one hour to pull her out of that giant box she was in. charges are pending. Oh by the way the party ended right after that without opening his only present, which was the giant box designed as a cake. Chinga

And finally, a local author, Ted Nopal told us que he had come up con six things that could happen on your birthday:
1. You get home from work and find a booger on your shirt that must have been there all day.
2. You spot a dead thing on the middle the road and you run over it again, resulting in a flat tire.
3. You are forced to use Microsoft Windows version 2001.
4. You pick up your laundry find out you pick up the wrong dyer.
5. You get a giant zit on your face after you swallowed some chewing tobacco.
6. You pay for sex with a check and then she asks you if you can cash it.

Ok raza have a great day.

 

hejola report for 09092017.

 

Hejola special report for 09092017.

 

Cchwnn.

 

Kingsville,tx. Hello again Bill diaz and dam glad to be back, have you ever felt that when you are gone for a while chit hits the fan? Now for our award special barrio news headlines.

 

Creator not sure about life.

 

Protest continues against CCHWNN but we have some facts.

 

And finally some good darn news.

 

Yesterday we were informed that the favors color of single women was green.

 

In other news, Going into its first week, some barrio members have not given up on their protest against our news on writing about big women. The real issue here is why do we do this to great and wonder healthy women? Is there a reason? Is there a cause? Or is it that our creator is still pissed at the 400 lb woman that gave him hernia that one cold winter evening indulge in kinky sex? NO way. Here are some facts;

 

What are the health effects of being overweight or obese?

 

Being overweight or obese can increase your risk of:

 

·    Heart disease

 

·    Stroke

 

·    Type 2 diabetes

 

·    High blood pressure

 

·    Breathing problems

 

·    Arthritis

 

·    Gallbladder disease

 

·    Some kinds of cancer

 

Now I end this with our concerns..

 

Now a message from our creator, hello I am Daniel and again out from my darkest room from my home. Now that I am going to be 67, I tried to recap what have and what had I done in my life up to now?  I was dawned by the fact that I never ever left 1970’s and I still wonder if I can catch up to 2017? I know old hippies never die , and I am sure that many would wonder why a chicano wanted to be a hippie in the first place.  Well it was pretty easy, raised in a family that stress being on time and  I took it on my own to embraces life to the fullest, tried to promote peace, love and some happiness, and up to now sure as hell stuck up for what I believed in. regardless of what folks think that hippies are, I was beyond “the dirty dread-locked tie-dyed pothead with the dead shirt on”. HIPPIES ARE WONDERFUL PEOPLE!!! Today I wll ask myself , think about all the money one spend on foolish and not caring about such ideology... What a contradiction?

 

Ok raza have a great day.

hejola report for 09062017

 

Hejola report for 09062017.

 

Cchwnn.

 

Kingsville,tx. Hello again mi raza and now for our award winning barrio headline news:

 

Constable shoots sex doll by mistakes.

 

El compadre hopalong morales arrested.

 

And finally, barrio man tries to steal boat.

 

Sometimes things are not just right, that was the case of esta vato trying to steal a small sail boat that was locked up behind el constable office. Esta vato thought that no one had seen him pull away with the trailer and the boat half way on it. About three blocks down the road the boat made its way  off the trailer and onto the side walk. As esta vato loco tried to put the boat back on the trailer, the constable on patrol the area, decided to lead him a hand. Once the constable got closer to the boat he noticed que it was his boat. He arrested the vato and took him in. when the constable came back for the boat it was gone. Chinga. El constable is asking for your help in locating that sail boat. If you have any idea who took or where the boat is, the constable promises to give you a ride on it.

It seems que el compadre Morales felt que he needed to take his horse, silver, for a late nigh ride. The only problem was that he was intoxicated and was naked. As he rode his horse around the hood, some barrio residents  felt que he wasn’t no lady Godiva on that horse so many took it on their own to call the constable.  As the constable toured the hood looking for that male version of lady godiva, he came across him at the corner of third and wells street. After several hours of being chase through the hood, he finally gave himself up and asked permission to go to the bathroom. The constable arrested him and his horse. Charges are pending. 

Yesterday somehow el constable cadena got his chit mixed up and raided the wrong trailer home. It was in the middle of the night when el constable and his barrio task force 666, wanted to practices what they had just learned at some training they went too this pasted weekend. In following the instructions given to them, they forgot to make sure they were at the right address. When they got to the wrong address, they noticed a person standing by the window with some kind of weapon, the constable and his task forces didn’t wait to ask question but opened fire on the person standing by the window. Once they shot it with at least 125 rounds they moved in closer to look at their kill. When the dust settled it turned out to be a very expensive sex doll. Charges are pending. Oh by the way they gave up on the original bust.

 

Ok raza there you have it.

westinghouse barrio mall newsletter 09012017.

Westinghouse barrio mall newsletter for09012017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello I am Gloria Guerra con this week’s barrio mall newsletter. Well first of all let’s go con el general fideo vermicelli con last week’s dog show report.

General: si Gloria thank you and did we have a wild weekend. This past week it was not announced

pero we had our annual “ here boy” dog show and con our special speak Pedro the dog love, better

known here in our hood as “the barrio dog mutter”. Well things start off on the right foot but somehow

got off to the left foot. It seems que pedro must have had too much to drink the night before, because

he wasn’t as good as he has before. In his effort to show folks how to control a pit bull attack,

something went wrong. Pedro the dog love better known here in our hood as “the barrio dog mutter”

was seriously bitten and was taken or walked right over to our st. pauls medical center here in the

mall. His conditions are not known at this time. Hey Gloria we did learn something for esta vato,

chinga, and that was “ here boy” doesn’t work all the time. Now back to Gloria.

Well thanks general and I will try to remember that, chinga here boy. Oh well, in other news lets go to

our sports complex center con Frankie tuxedo zungia.

Frankie: si Gloria we don’t have the results of this year’s taqucha baseball championship due to the

fact que the scores couldn’t be confirmed due to the fact que el comparde juan cortez was the offical

on duty, got drunk and pissed off and took the scorebook records with him. At the present time we

have not seen or heard from esta pincha way. Now we are pending the results or the entry fee back,

chinga, oh where oh where can our compadre be. Now back to Gloria.

Ok Frankie and good luck, and now a few words from our gal blanca blanch blanco.

Bbb : si Gloria now que maria la vandia is back in town it seems que el creator Daniel has established

an office for her and her barrio news network, we wish this bitch had never come back…oops,, I meant

glad this bitch is back and now back to Gloria.

Well bbb I don’t know if maria is a bitch or not, that’s up to our creator Daniel.

But for now we will leave it alone. I am Gloria from the mall, have a great tejano day!!!