Hejola report for 05312017

Hejolia report for 05312017.

 Cchwnn.

 Kingsville,tx. Hello raza how are we doing, I am David Duran con today’s award winning barrio headline news;

 Three dogs and two cats busted.

 Eight gay tejanos arrested at normal bar.

 And finally some real good news.

 More than a l00 families in the hood got a real good surprise today when a load of live chickens turned over and some of the victims ( chickens) ma...de a run for it. As we all know that this has happened before in the hood, well anyhow at least 100 calls were made to the constable reporting chingos de live chicken were either seen, captured, run over, killed or even turn loose in the hood. The only thing that the constable could tell them that now had pet chickens don’t say anything and do what you think is right. What would you think is the right thing?

 There are a few things that a gay Tejano’s must keep in mind. That is que not all the Tejano dance halls are the same. In some case some bars and dance halls, will let women dance together when they find that there isn’t enough men to go around, but in some dance hall men are not allowed to dance together when there are more than enough women to dance with. Well that was the case at a normal Tejano bar where gays are very limited on who and what the dance with. The group of eight gay tejano’s were asked to leave the place or else. Well the gays decided to go with the ELSE, THAT’S when they were all arrested for not leaving when asked to. They contacted their lawyer and might sue ever Tejano bar in the hood for not allowing men to dance with other men.

 

Yesterday the only animal control agent was called to investigate the robbing of a local bird cage with two birds in it. Once the regulator got there, he noticed that few friends and dogs and cats were checking it out what he was doing. The regulator noticed que the three dogs and two cats were acting kinda funny, so he went over and started asking questions. At the point, he determined que the two cats and the three dogs were involved in this matter. All the pets were arrested.

 Ok raza have a great day and do what you think is the right thing ?

hejola report for 05262017.

Hejola report for 05262017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. hello again I am Lewis mojo Lewis with our award winning barrio headline news:

Drag Tejanos band from real Tejano bars.

Yesterday el constable cadena had to escort about 15 drag queens out of a real Tejano bar when the owner realized they weren’t real women. Chuy the owner of Chuy’s barrio sports bar told us que we don’t want them here. They got their own bar over the at Two Tons of Fun, oh by the way it’s the only Tejano gay bar in the county.

 

Shots fired at Chuy’s bar sign.

The constable Cadena told us que he has an idea of who shot up the Chuy”s bar sign late last night. He didn’t want to mention any names but he felt que it could  have been some of them queens that got run off yesterday, but wasn’t going to say anything until the investigation is over.

 

Barrio vato wants to move to the moon!(ok).

Yesterday June Morgan  Martinez Munoz better known as mm in the hood told us about the space ship he is building in his back yard to get him to the moon. After we went over to look at this ship we determine that the only place that ship is going is to get him is in jail..

Ok raza have a great day.

hejola before father's day for 05252017

Hejola after father’s day report for 05252017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello I am bill diaz con this special this coming fathers hejola report, so le’ts get to our award winning barrio headline news from this past father’s day 2013.

Barrio father goes fish and busted.

Dos primos died during a father’s day roofing party.

And finally 33 year old vato find out who his real dad is?

Why would anyone want to start chit today, especially on father’s day, says adolfo buentello age 33, when his real mother and his not real dad took him aside and told him that this man was not his real father. The bad news really came in at a bad time, it seems that this family had been drinking all day long and both parents decided to break the news gently. It didn’t go down too well con adolfo who got so upset que, he left the party and was arrested a few moments later by el constable cadena for dwi. As the family walked over to the scene of the crime, adolfo was sitting in the back sit of the constable car, when his mother told him, his real fathers name. el constable cadena had no comments. Oh by the way they did let him go.

Well what else could have gone work con el compadre bill william Garza Mendez y su second cousin Bob Jones Martinez Mendez when they all agreed que this father’s day was going to be the day we finally finish la commadre’s roof that had been pending since last fathe’rs day.

We are assuimg que they must not have cable tv nor the weather channel which gave out heat warnings. Well once el primo bill got up on the roof and worked for several hours, the heat got up to about 135 degrees, especially walking on a hot tin roof, before you knew it, he suffered a heat stroke while on the roof. Once el otra primo, bob climbed on the roof and ran to help el primo bill, he collapsed. Both men were pronounced died on the scene. Just for your information the roof project was not finished but inside sources say que the family said once insurance money comes in, they are going to hire a real roofing company.

And finally It seemed like a good idea to go fish says paulito blanco, once he opened his father day’s gift, which was a sparkly brand new fishing rob and reel. Well the sad part was that he forgot to buy a fishing license and forgot that he should not be drinking and driving. Well that was the case when he decided to go fishing at his child hood favor fishing spot. After several hours at his favor fishing spot, who by the way had not been there in seventeen years and all course didn’t see the game warden parked right outside that favor spot. He was fine and arrested and charges were fishing without a license and dwi.

Well raza  I just hope that you all had a great father’s day this late in the year.  But for your information , I mean real information, my dad died on his birthday which fell on father’s day .what a way to go. have a great Tejano belated father’s day for 2017..

hejola report for 05242017

Hejola report for 05242017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio sex education teacher in big trouble.

Maria Shine Gamez arrested inside constable car.

And two vatos arrested at only barrio Chinese restaurant.

It was just a class project say Francis Lopez a sex education teacher for el barrio school  after she gave her students an assignment for extra- credits. The project was to rummage through their parents’ bedroom looking for sex toys and bring a selfie holding one. Some parents contacted the school about this odd project but the school Administrator told the parents it was not a part of the course requirement but was not sure how many students did actually presented the show and tell project in class.

Maria Shine Gamez was arrested late last night and charged her with breaking into one of el constable unmarked cruisers. It seems that she was discovered by el constable around  4:00am after she had locked herself inside and could not figure out how to unlock the door worked.

And finally, Sonny junior and Sonny the third were both sentences to 5 months after they both pleaded guilty when they were caught inside the only Chinese restaurant “eat my Tong” walk-in freezer attempting to steal all the egg rolls. El constable tells us that there was no doubt que estos ways would have frozen to death if not for being spotted by one of the workers of the restaurant.

Ok raza make sure that you go an eat my tong and have a great Tejano day.

HEJOLA REPORT FOR 05232017

Hejola report for 05232017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas.  Hello again I am Bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio leader Trumpas deal;

Business owner Earl the squire Day, was a happy camper yesterday as the new barrio leader just reported que they will start producing Gringo Tamales on our side of the tracks and plan on selling them at $15 a dozen which is almost double the price compared to the hood’s prices. Trumpas promised that he and his good friend Ruffus Russel Redneck, the leader of “let me put the finger on you” have tried for years in banning homemade tamales, will make sure that this idea will pass this year sometime and opening the door for only certified tamale brokers can make them here.

Riots and arrested after the ban on homemade tamales;

At least 20 folks and not sure on how many  farmer animals and pet that were arrested also during a protest protesting the ban on making homemade tamales.  The leader of this protest told us que its un-American to not let folks make tamales at home regardless what trumpas and that redneck say. We will continue to fight this ban and will stand our ground even if we have to go to jail and court.

And finally security is beefed up in the hood:

Now that trumpas is out of jail he has order el constable Cadena to patrol the hood on a 24 hours bases and has order all the old Christmas decoration to be turn off. The reason is that Trumpas does not want folks to be happy but wants the whole hood to be pissed and not happy.  Trumpas told us que he doesn’t want folks to be happy but he wants the hood to be mad and ugly and not happy. Many believe que his wish just might come true.

Ok raza be happy.

hejola report for 05222017

Hejola report for 05222017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville,tx. Hello again, Bill Diaz con our award winning barrio headline news:

Three arrested con evil weed.

Barrio big plans for 4 of July turn out small.

And finally school is out for monkies.

Yesterday the only school in the nation for pet monkies informed us que school was out for the summer. So if you had or have a monkey registered at that school you need to go by and pick it up or else. That was what the school administrator told us yesterday during a very exclusive interview. Yea.

 

Let me put the finger on you committee has layout this year’s barrio 4 of July theme. The theme that was selected is “ keep it American”. The whole committees were excited and are going to paint the whole hood red white and blue with tax payer’s monies. The group hopes to convince the city to dish out 20 thousand gallons of paint for the hood... wow.

 

Yesterday evening el constable did his job by arrested three vato’s standing at the corner of third and wells for selling evil weed. This weed or evil weed was just plain lawn grass with a little mint in it and dried out a bit. The constable took a hit from one of the cigarettes they were selling and didn’t get a buzz. He told them three boys que if you going to be selling chit, might as well sell the real thing. Charges will be filed. Oh by the way el constable will keep the 3 thousand cigarettes he took from them three as evidence.

Ok raza keep it Tejano.

hejola report for 05182017

Hejola report for 05182017.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, TX. Once again I am bill Diaz con today barrio headline news. Well it’s like every year mother’s day brings the best out of everyone. Yea. Now for barrio headline news:

Barrio 811 emergency calls place on hold.

22 arrested yesterday CINCO DE MAYO fest.

Two ways to love your mother.

Well base on a mother’s day survey we took there are only two way, the results of our mother’s  day survey, it seems there are only two ways to really love your mother, either by visiting here for several hours or giving her ten bucks an stay for ten minutes, that was the results of this study. Oh yea after we interviews ten barrio members, we determined que these results are very important to many.

In other news, Well if you though that CINCO DE MAYO FEST, WAS A DAY of rest will your freaking wrong. Out of the 22 arrests made  15 were mothers who took it on their own to start chit that happen  ten years ago or more. From fighting at a backyard barbeque to breaking window at the local bar, that is what el constable cadena told us yesterday. Oh yea it was a better year this year compared to other years, where fewer mothers, for some reason or another took their frustrations out less this year.

And finally, It seems that if you would have had an emergency and called the barrio emergency call hotline this coming mother’s day, you would will put on hold due to all el pedo going on in the hood. It seems que so much chit was going on que all lines might find themselves real busy for at minimum of 3 hours, starting around 6pm to around 1159 pm, based on what el constable just informed us. So if you plan on starting some chit don’t do it next year come mother’s day and hold it till father’ day.

Well there you have it for today, and keep it Tejano.