Monday, August 26, 2019

hejola report for 08262019


Hejola report for 02262019.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville,Texas. Hello again I am bill diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news;

Commadre con her deadly weapon arrested;
Sonora Oak Bueno, 36, was arrested on August 11 and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after she threw a coconut at a man who was sitting on the porch of the VIP  Two Tons of Fun Club, the only Tejano gay bar here in the hood. The man had started filming Bueno, which upset her, leading her to yell at him and call him names. After the constable reported that Bueno admitted to throwing the coconut but noted "it did not hit him." El constable explained to Bueno that since she was outside of the club, she could have no expectation of privacy.

Homer takes the law into his own hands;
Homer Simon Ortega has no to time to bother with long lines and bureaucracy at the barrio driver’s license office! This pasted weekend was pulled over for a routine check as he rode his black motorcycle. Homer was happy to produce his license, carried in the customary cover. But when officers examined it, they realized it was homemade. "He behaved very calmly as he took out the license," a traffic police officer said. "But I was shocked when I saw what was inside." Homer had simply written all the pertinent information found on a standard driver's license on a piece of lined notebook paper, then glued a photo of himself to the paper. When pressed for an explanation, Homer said he was too lazy to study for the license exam and didn't want to spend the money on driving classes. He thought a handwritten license would be better than nothing at all. "I didn't expect the traffic police to be so serious," Homer said.

El barrio double or nothing;
El vato loco, barrio justice of the peace, handed down an unusual judgement in a paternity case that involved identical twin potential fathers. La commadre Sally Garza, filed a paternity suit against Twin A, Mario, who accused twin B, Mario ll of being the actual father. After a barrio DNA test showed an equal probability for the two men to be the father. So Vato loco ordered them both to pay maintenance for the child. As a result, As a result, she will receive twice as much as she would with only one father. "One of them is acting in bad faith in order to hide the fact that he is the father," the judge wrote. "Such vile behavior cannot be tolerated by the law.”
Ok raza have a great Tejano day.

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