hejolia report for 03032009

Hejolia report for 03032009.
Cchwnn.
Kingsville, TX. Hi there, I am bill Diaz con today’s award winning barrio headline news:
Primo wakes up on the way to morgue.
Barrio vato attacks wrong handicap person.
And finally barrio airways bust barrio family con pets.
El y la senior Martinez were asked to get off the only barrio airway plane this Saturday when they were trying to sneak ten cats and three dogs on board the 5 passenger plane. They almost had it says captain Mingo, the only license pilot and owner of barrio airways. Si esta gente were trying to be pretty tricky an almost got away with until la seniora seemed to be talking to one off her seven carryon luggage and bags. No charges will be filed but captain Mingo told us que if they are willing to pay extra it’s very possible that they can fly again con barrio airways.
In other news, Joh Ruiz lost his left arm and right leg in a freak accident about 10 years ago when he got drunk and fell asleep on the rail road tracks and the morning 4:00am train ran over him. Since then he has master some self defense training. But esta vato from the barrio really thought he had a chance of to rip him off late Saturday night when Joh left the only topless bar in the hood. As he hopped down the street esta vato surprised him, that’s when Joh went into action. He turned around and laid some heavy chingos at esta vato head and did a drop kick with his only leg. Esta vato was found knocked out in the middle of the alley around third and wells after Joh informed el constable. No charges will be filed against Joh but esta vato is going to jail, says el constable cadena.
Chinga, if things weren’t bad enough for el primo, better known as el primo, lost his job, lost his wife, lost his home, lost his car, lost his family, lost his cable , lost his t.v., lost his accordion, and all his pets left him. So el primo, based on what the el constables report tried to kill him by smoking ten joints, drinking two cases of beer, three bottles of wine and a wild night con you know who. Well it seems que you know who called el constable to report que el primo was not responding to anything late Saturday night, I mean anything and everything says you know who. Well el constable called los vato’s loco volunteer firefighters who have a little experience dealing con these matters. When los loco’s got there they determined que he might be dead. So they called the real 918, and requested to pick up the body. On his way over to the morgue el primo woke up and walked out of the 1979 ford whatever. No charges will be filed but he is going to be billed for the ride half way there.
There you have it raza, lots of things going on and it seems que things never end.