Thursday, July 2, 2015

hejola report for 07022015


 

Hejola report for 07022015.

Cchwnn.

Kingsville, Texas. Hello again raza how are we doing? And now for our award winning barrio headline news:

Barrio hero arrested.

Juan Gomez arrested for false police report.

La commadre Nelda Martinez shoots herself con her bar holster.

And now some darn good news.

Yesterday it was announced that all barrio members wanting a GED can come on buy and get one at the mall this coming Saturday for $400. So if you ever thought of going to college or something like that but needed that GED come on down.

La commadre Nelda Martinez was given a bra holster for her new gun on her birthday, but yesterday shot herself in the chest when she tried to show it off to la commadre at the bingo house. Charges will be filed against her and her new bra.

Juan Gomez was convicted yesterday afternoon for filing a false police report in March 2015, where he claimed that el constable Cadena had beaten him up at the mall parking lot and sexual abused him. Gomez face evidenced a beating, but him obviously unaware of the surveillance camera, which revealed that, over a four-minute period, Gomez had punched himself in the face over 25 times to create the constable attack. Esta vato!

Yesterday el senor Pablo T. Gonzales was arrested after he tried to rob the only barrio bank. His failure was due to the fact that some of the tellers recognized him from an award ceremonies a few years ago when he prevented a bank robbery across the tracks and was awarded a barrio civilian medal for heroism.
Ok raza have a great and keep it Tejano

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